Part 14: If You Forget Me"And so we need to dial up the self-expression imagery of the brand and do a 360 degrees landscaping so as to improve the brand salience scores."
Blah blah yada yada. Death.
Khushi looked at the Head of Marketing spewing crazy jargon. Words, words and more words. She had to hold this enormous urge to walk across the meeting room and shout in Hindi film style, Khamosh!
Death by Meetings was the most likely title of her memoir.
Bored out of her wits, she pulled out a very crumpled piece of paper.
Ten Things to Do.
Hmm.
Khushi had felt somewhat weirded out when she stole her own bucket list from her fiance's house.
--
It hadn't been that easy actually.
After she found the bucket list Raizada asked her why it was taking so long to find a notebook. She had quickly put back the file inside the drawer and returned to the living room looking as nonchalant as possible.
"Did you find a notebook," he had asked her and Khushi had nodded as she sat down next to him on the couch. She was distracted, but oddly enough Raizada was suddenly feeling amorous. Ahem. So there was Khushi, away from any prying eyes, phone interruptions, football matches, in the apartment of her dreamboat fiance, who had gotten just a little naughty and all she could think about was a frikkin bucket list. She could have gotten herself a hickey or something. Instead she feigned sudden sickness and fake threw up in her fiance's bathroom and somehow managed to steal the bucket list while he was sufficiently distracted.
"Tum theekh ho? Are you okay?"
He kept checking on her well-being in two different languages.
Of course she was not okay. She had just successfully attempted theft in somebody's house and was probably never going to get any action ever.
--
"Our social media strategy is to reach a hundred thousand Twitter followers in the second quarter... blah blah."
Marketing Head was now going on about how getting Twitter followers for the brand was going to somehow help the client sell more toothbrushes. And where did he intend to get these millions of followers to follow Tweets of a toothbrush? While on the subject of Twitter, Arnav Raizada was now on Twitter. He had apparently been persuaded by a certain Ms Kapoor who was of the opinion that the world should not be robbed off his everyday observations about life, universe and everything in between. Within two hours of getting on Twitter Raizada had twenty times the number of followers she had. Stalking Sunaina she realized that the girl was retweeting everything that @arnavraiwriter was posting. Hmpfh. Let them continue their lovefest, she decided to follow Shashank Kapoor instead, who either posted gym work-out updates or out of context Rumi poetry. Poetry and brawn. How could a girl resist?!
She went through her Bucket List again. She felt rather proud that she had managed to accomplish most of it already. But she felt even happier that Raizada had kept her bucket list all this while. It left her feeling all warm and gooey in the inside. After all, he did not seem like the kind of guy who would have a shrine for his ladylove. What next? Will she discover that the man had kept one of her fallen earrings as a keepsake? God knows that she had lost at least three of those in the last one year.
She didn't want to confront him on the Bucket List. Nope, that would put him in a spot. When he felt ready he would tell her about it himself. For now, she decided to put back the Bucket List in his house and pretend it never happened. If stealing was tough, putting that back was going to be even more challenging. She needed a plan.
"Khushi, what do you feel about the multi-level social media marketing?"
f**k. f**k. f**k. Capitalism sucked or what?!
**
The house was a mess. And Arnav hated that. Yes, he liked to keep things clean. Don't keep too much stuff and the stuff you keep needed to be kept in the right place was his philosophy. But right now it looked like a hurricane had hit his apartment. Hurricane being a loud and boisterous movie crew. His movie crew. It sounded surreal to even say a sentence like that.
The shooting for Accidentally in Love was to commence next month. Now they were busy with workshops. Arnav personally thought that the workshops were unnecessary, given how simple the story was and how natural Shashank and Sunaina were as actors. But Balwant felt workshops were necessary so that everyone could get comfortable with each other and get into their characters by the time the filming began. Shashank and Sunaina had this definite tension between them, which Arnav thought worked very well given the nature of the story. There was obvious chemistry there, at least from the boy's side for sure.
Arnav sighed. The Sunaina Situation as Khushi referred to it was getting a little out of hand. Literary advice and mentoring was giving way to phone calls and angst-filled texting in the middle of the night. So this evening when the crew had all filled into Arnav's apartment after a hard day of workshopping, which basically involved Shashank and Sunaina spitting fire at each other and leading to objects around to all but spontaneously combust with their chemistry, they had come to Arnav's house for a pizza supper.
Arnav, had this temporary moment of insanity when he decided to invite the crew to his house for dinner. He wondered if Khushi had slowly begun mercury poisoning him or something. I mean, since when did Arnav Raziada, recluse extraordinaire turn into that person who hung out with colleagues after work. Lauren who was there too had an amused glint and Arnav had avoided eye-contact with her for the rest of evening. When he saw Sunaina had this crazy fangirl glint in her eyes, he knew it had been a mistake. But there was no wriggling out of this as the hungry masses descended upon his very quiet and clean home.
Sunaina walked into his house with an air of someone who owned the place.
"Arnie, where can I find the fork?"
"Arnie, can we turn up the heating?"
"Arnie, I love the decor of the house."
Arnie this. Arnie that.
When the hell did I become Arnie, he wondered.
When the dinner was done and the pizza boxes all strewn around his living room, with nobody having the slightest inclination to clean up after them, one by one each person began to leave. Arnav had heaved a sigh of relief. Shashank was the first person to leave.
"Su, do you want to leave with me. We have the horse-riding workshop tomorrow morning."
Sunaina had scowled at him then and shook her head and said she needed to pick Arnie's brains about something.
Arnav had groaned at that. Also, he noticed how crestfallen Shashank had looked about then. Who said that Greek Gods didn't have excruciating moments of self-doubt? He had been amused that there was going to be a horse-riding workshop. His original book itself was set in a decidedly middle-class milieu, but one of Balwant's creative liberties was to turn her male protagonist into a jodhpuri wearing, polo playing, owning farmhouse in Lutyens Delhi kind of rich dude.
"Arnav, middle-class angst is not attractive. Also brooding assholes have to be rich and good looking."
If Arnav found Balwant's insight just a trifle classist, he decided to keep his mouth shut. After all, she knew how to peddle Bollywood escapism better than he. And he knew how to explore the human condition through his books.
So as per Balwant's assessment, the polo playing Shashank would cause a frenzy among fangirls and basically ensure that a bunch of young women will be forever scarred with completely unreal expectations of love. And Sunaina was going to inspire a generation of fangirls to be in that place between envy and awe.
"Arnie, you have such a fab book collection. I could just spend all day here and not to have go anywhere ever."
Arnav looked at Sunaina, she looked like an earnest schoolgirl. That is because she is a schoolgirl, Arnie. Wait. Now he was referring to himself as Arnie?
"So I just thought I will discuss some stuff with you. Arnie..."
"No. I mean, I am exhausted. And please don't mind, but I think you need to leave."
Her face fell and she looked so hurt that Arnav did not know what to say.
"I need to use the restroom."
He had pointed in the direction of his room and she took the longest time to emerge. When she did, her nose was a dark shade of red and her eyes full of I-had-my-first-heartbreak tears. He wanted to say something, but wisely refrained from doing so.
Tough love was the order of the day.
"Bye, Arnav. I will see you in Bombay now during the shoot."
Much later when he was cleaning his room he realised that she had called him Arnav, not Arnie. All was well with the world again.
Now if only Khushi would return his calls. What was up with her, he wondered.
**
Khushi was dying.
No, not meetings, but the common flu was going to be the cause of her death.
She decided it was a far more romantic way to die than because of meetings. She had googled, famous people who died because of flu. Khushi had gone through the list alarmed, not one name did she recognize. Oh, there is Bertrand Russell. At least he seemed vaguely familiar. But she was too addled at that point to figure out why this man seemed familiar.
Anyway, the real issue at hand was that she was dying. At twenty-four. That was youngish. Would people say that? She was so young, so pretty, so smart. Why did she die?
No, that was unlikely.
Daadi would probably say, any person who loses eight umbrellas deserves to die of the flu.
Which if you thought about it, was right. I mean, what kind of kookie loses eight umbrellas, gets caught in every downpour and turns into a snot-machine?
But surely her dad would be sad. And Payal. And Anagha. And Aakash jeeju. And Arnav. He would probably mourn at the secret shrine that he had built for her. Somehow the thought of a sad Arnav made her sadder. Arnav, her beautiful fiance. With warm hands, brown eyes and an impeccable nose. Oh that nose. She wanted to write poetry about that nose. How many ways do I love thee, let me count the ways. Wait, does 5 come after 6 or before. Why was she so confused? Was she already dead?
**
"Khushi, say something dammit. Khushi, are you okay?"
This thing can only happen with Khushi. Have fever. Have her phone die. Become incommunicado and lead to panic across the world.
"Arnav, I have been trying to get in touch with Khushi about the new ad for Ostrich Books, can't get through her. WIll you ask her to call me, please?"
"A-dawg, where is my bhabhi? Ever since Chennai Express she has gone MIA. The movie wasn't that bad. Deepika Padukone is hot."
"Bhai, can you please ask Khushi to call Payal. She is going crazy with the wedding preparations and needed to check about the mehendi venue."
While Arnav had felt strangely bereft of Khushi's company, he did not want to be the clingy fiance. So he had let it be when she had not responded to his texts. But with everyone not being able to reach her, did get him a little worried. And when he realised that Khushi had not made a move in an ongoing Words with Friends game for over three days, he knew it had to be serious. He had showed up at her house and rung the bell and called her name several times. Not getting a response he considered breaking down the door. Thankfully that momentary feeling of Khushi Gupta taking over his personality passed and good sense prevailed.
He went to meet Khushi's landlord to get the spare keys to let himself into her apartment. The landlord a Scottish gentleman named Paul had looked at him suspiciously when he announced that he was Khushi's fiance.
"But Khushi didn't tell me that she was engaged. In fact, just last week she was telling me about how her family trying to arrange her marriage with an Indian guy had turned messy and he had turned into her stalker."
Trust Khushi to tell the landlord about the Anuj episode, given that it had sufficiently more drama. But after some cajoling, and given that Paul seemed like one of the many fans of Khushi, he agreed to check on Khushi.
While Arnav waited for the door to be open, he had a slight uncomfortable feeling in his gut. All kinds of long forgotten memories surfacing in his head. And startlingly the memory of his mother, not the one who raised him, but the one who gave birth to him came to his mind. This threw him off. He had over the years carefully managed to bury his feelings and bam! there it was.
Paul who looked suspiciously close to a Hogwarts groundskeeper was taking the longest time to open the door. Arnav had to resist the urge to take the bunch of keys from him and let them in. Finally the door opened and music welcomed them.
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away.Bohemian Rhapsody. Good lord, Khushi.
And there was Khushi, sprawled on the living room couch. She was surrounded by tissues boxes, a giant bottle of Benadryl which was all but empty and a deck of playing cards. Arnav knew this might make him creepy, but she looked completely fetching at that point. Even when she slept, had passed out, there was so much drama.
His fangirling was interrupted when Paul asked in a choked voice, "Is she dead?"
Arnav was caught in a place between an eye-roll and a tight constriction in his chest.
He picked her up in his arms. She was warm. She was breathing, albeit he noticed that she was struggling.
"Khushi, are you okay? Please wake up."
He patted her cheeks gently at first and with a little more feeling behind it when she refused to.
"I am easssyy come, eassy go.. lil high, lil low.." she had finally mumbled and opened her eyes.
"Arnav, am I dead?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Arnav made Khushi sit up on the couch and she had looked at him bemused.
"Khooosshhheee, is this boy speaking the truth? Is he your fiance?"
Khushi had then thrown her arms around Arnav and placed a kiss firmly on his mouth and nodded at Paul. Paul looked convinced and muttered something about getting a glass of warm milk for her and stepped out. Arnav realised that he had not been embarrassed by Khushi's sudden show of affection and had in fact enjoyed it.
"Are you okay now, Khushi? Please don't ever do this again?"
"Do what again? Almost die? But you came for me Arnav."
"Umm. Please don't go incommunicado. Nobody dies because of the flu."
"Bertrand Russell did. But I didn't. Because you came for me Arnav."
"Bertrand Russell? Where did that come from. Your brain is more addled than usual, Khushi. And stop sounding like the mom of Karan freakin Arjun with this you came for me drama."
"I am hurt, Arnav. I just thought that nobody loved me and I was going to die all alone and be discovered by the neighbour's cat a month later."
"Your phone was out of charge, that is why. Many people love you, Khushi."
"Okay. What about you?"
"Of course, I love you, Khushi. How many times do I have say this to you?"
"At least once every day, for the rest of our lifetime."
"Deal. Let me go and see if I can rustle up some food for you. Why the heck is your house such a mess?"
"Arnav, you just said that you love me. It has to be the whole, warts and all love, okay? Of course, I don't have any warts at all."
"You don't. You are perfect."
Khushi had the cat-got-cream expression right about then and he placed a kiss on her forehead and headed to the kitchen.
The pantry was absolutely empty. This woman was no domestic goddess. Finally he found a couple of eggs.
"Khushi, how do you feel about eggs?"
"I don't know. We will know once I have it. Maybe I will throw up, maybe I won't. But bring it on."
Arnav had rolled his eyes and decided to take the chance. He had just scrambled them to perfection when Khushi's voice came in from the other room.
"Arnav, you are a Karan Arjun fan, eh?"
"What? No. I like to keep up with pop culture references. That is all."
He walked into the room and Khushi he discovered had now tied up her in an alarmingly high ponytail, looking every bit the child woman.
Give the raging hormones a rest, Raizada, he had commanded his brain.
"I like Karan and Arjun. Now that SRK and Salman have patched up, maybe we can have a sequel. Karan aur Arjun: Punar Janam Please incept this brilliant idea into Balwant's head, Arnav."
"Umm. Why not? How about a Shola aur Shabnam: Punar Janam? That should make your fangirl heart sing, I am sure."
Khushi put down the knife and fork on the plate noisily and activated the whole crazy eyes look.
"You can't mess with a classic, Raizada, you just can't."
"Sorry, of course. I guess you are now perfectly okay."
"How can you say that? I need more TLC."
"You stopped calling me Arnav, in that breathless come-hither way. You are back to calling me Raizada, in exactly that same tone of a superior commanding his minions at a torture camp."
"Whatever. You suck, Raizada. Go back to your 15-year-old Lolita."
"Haha. Shut up. Sunaina is 18."
"Fine. Go back and retweet all the Neruda poem that she posts."
"She is posting Neruda poems now? Haven't checked Twitter for the last couple of days."
"Yes. I switched on my phone and her tweets were the first thing I saw. If little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little."
"Hmm. If you forget me. Interesting."
"Oh wait. Is this meant for you? Did you break the poor child's heart?"
"No. I might have helped her with some tough love. Whose team are you on, anyway?"
"Team Neruda. Forever."
"You are the worst girlfriend, Khushi."
"Fiance, you mean?"
"Sorry, I forgot."
"Raizada, if you forget me I will cut you up into teeny tiny pieces and feed you to Paul's cat."
"Neruda just turned in his grave."
"Well, just making a point. I am sure he approves of macabre poetry."
"But, I might be reincarnated like Karan and Arjun."
"Aha. Just admit it that you have watched the movie more than once."
"I might have."
"Might."
"Fine. I have. Entirely by accident. It was all Anjali Di's fault."
"Accidentally in love?"
"Yes. "
"That is the best way to fall in love."
"Looks like the eggs went down well after all."
"You might have spoken too soon, Raizada."
Khushi ran to the restroom, to throw up. He followed her, held her hair and carried her to the bedroom.
"Now sleep for a while. You need some more rest, I reckon."
"Raizada, you are probably disgusted with me now."
"No, Khushi, I am not disgusted. Remember it is a warts and all kind of love."
**
BeepBhabhi, I heard you almost died with Bohemian Rhapsody playing in the background.
Nandu, don't Bhabhi me. You are my Plan B. It will be creepy.
Aha. You are my Plan B too.
Who is Plan A then?
What? Nobody. Nobody in particular.
Don't lie, Nandu.
Fine. I think Lizoo is cute.
Lavanya? OMG you guys are my second favourite ship.
You mean crackship.
C'mon Nandu. If I can get perfect nose Raizada, you can get perfect hair Lizoo.
You are perfect too, Bhabhi.
Oops, I meant Khushi.
You know what, you can call me Bhabhi. I think my Dewarji is perfect as well.
Bhabhi tum khushiyon ka khazana.
Dhik tana, dhik tana,dhik tana.
**
Old Wine in spanking new bottleFans of the popular Hindi soap can rejoice, as it is now all set to return in a new Avtaar. The show which abruptly went off air last week and left thousands of fans heartbroken will return to the big screen in the Summer of 2014. The lead actors Ankit Khanna and Priyanka Guha, who play the characters Kabir and Niharika, fondly known as Ka-Ka among the fandom will reprise their roles in the big screen venture as well. NRI Productions bought the rights of the story from Saale Nautanki Sab, the Production House behind the hit show. However, sources say that Ringo TV refused to part with the rights to the title Shola aur Shabnam. The film which will take a leap of five years from the time that Kabir and Niharika decide to part ways in the series finale which got a record TVR of 5.2 is tentatively titled Kabhi Shola Kabhi Shabnam.
Fans across the world have welcomed this news.
Upcoming star Sunaina Kapoor said, "I am so thrilled that SHASH is returning. So what if it is KSKS now. A rose by any other name would still smell sweet." As readers might know, Sunaina is all set to make her debut in Balwant Kaur's Accidentally in Love opposite Shashank Kapoor. Shooting for it commences in a couple of weeks and it is already the most awaited film of 2014.The last of Khushi's fever disappeared as she did a happy dance.
**
No, no, no.
Please God, no.
I can't be pregnant.
Sh*t
**
Beep
Hey Shyam, this is Asya. I needed to talk to you about something. Are you still in London?
Hey Asya, I am heading to Bombay in the next hour. Can I call you once I reach?
I will be in Bombay too next week. We can do this face to face.
Sure. Everything okay?
Yes, mostly.
Will text you my India number once I reach.
**
"Anj, it is there life. We can't interfere."
"How you go on Abhi. I am not interfering. I want what is best for my brother. That is all."
"Aka interfering."
"I just feel that one must know everything about the man one is marrying. I know I would, why would Khushi be any different?"
"You really need a new toy to play with. Maybe a baby that is really your own, so that you stopped baby-ing your brothers."
"Is it my fault? We have been trying."
"That is not what I meant, Anj. Please don't be mad. Why are we fighting so much lately?"
"I don't know, Abhi. I really want a child. I have been ready for long. But hostile uterus. As if I am not woman enough."
"Don't be silly. It will happen, when it has to. We will always have each other."
"And Paris."
"Want to watch Casablanca?"
"Play it again, Abhi."
**
"Madam, please sign here."
Khushi took the parcel from the delivery guy and signed.
What has Raizada sent me, she wondered.
As soon as she shut the door, she ripped open the pack. No, preserving packs was not her thing. She was more of a destination over journey girl.
When she finally managed to get off the ten layers of packaging, she found that he had sent her an umbrella. A bright yellow one, which even had her initials inscribed - KG.
Hello, Khushi, meet puddle of mush again.
**
Beep.Arnav you asshole!
Hi Lizoo. I am good too. How have you been?
I heard you are getting engaged. Why am I the last to know?
Sorry.
You better be. I am so mad at you. Of all the people in the world, I got this piece of news from my mom's kaam walli bai.
Eh?
Yes, Anjali Di's bai and mum's bai are twins. Meenaben and Sheenaben.
Fascinating. This Mumbai's Domestic Help underbelly.
I know, right? We have our own potential Downton Abbey. A new book idea, perhaps? Oh wait, now you are all mainstream and Bollywoodesque.
Take that back. But it is an interesting experience.
What has Khushi done with you, Arnav?
What has she done?
She has neutered you and turned you into a pleasant sort of human *gasp*
Please don't fangirl Khushi. I have way too much competition already.
Haha. I can imagine. When do you get your exemplary ass to Bombay?
In two days time.
Can't wait to meet you and my girlcrush.
Will call you when we get there.
**
BeepKhushi, have you taken your tickets?
Of course, Raizada. I am very responsible these days.
Did you lock the front door properly?
Of course.
Have you taken the present that you bought for Anjali Di?
Of course.
Have you packed all your medication?
What medication?
I thought you were on some medication?
Rubbish. I am high on life. You just envy my joi-de-vivre.
It is joie de vivre.
Whatever.
Have you taken your passport?
f**k.
Khushi.
Don't judge me, Raizada. I am awesome, not perfect. I won't miss the flight. Don't worry.
Unbelievable.
**
Arnav made a list of things that he had to carry as well. It would be ironical if he asked Khushi to pack her stuff and forgot his own things. Tickets? Yes. Passport? Yes. The gift he bought for Khushi? Yes. Ya ya, he had bought Khushi a present. He had just been waiting for the right time to give it to her. And what about that.. Maybe next time? No, he needed to share it with Khushi. He decided to head back home.
He reached home and went to his study to look for it. It wasn't there. Wait. He was sure that this is where it always was. Then where. He turned the house down upside down. Inside out.
Dammit.
He would miss the flight, if he didn't head out now.
He left his apartment in a mess. A first for him.
**
"OMG! First Class. Squeee."
Arnav was amused at how excited Khushi was. He had reached the airport just in time and Khushi was waiting for him. Sitting on a giant suitcase, looking forlorn.
"Khushi, why didn't you check in before me."
"Raizada, you have come?! I knew you would come."
"Shut up, Khushi. There is no time for your Bollywood drama. Let us hurry."
The ensuing chaos at Heathrow had fetched them an upgrade to First Class. Khushi sat cross-legged on the seat next to his and looked like she was high on the orange juice that was served. Pity that they were on an alcohol-free flight.
But he was unable to get his mind off from what had transpired in the apartment. He had it with him for so long, how could he lose it now? How? How? How?
**
The salted cashews were too salty, Khushi thought making a face. It had been over seven hours now and the joy of the First Class had lost its sheen six and a half hours ago. She took off the blanket, it had become warm. Probably they were in Indian airspace. Or it could be the hotness of her dreamboat fiance who was now taking a nap. He looked like a nice bar of chocolate next to her. Not those pedestrian Cadbury's ones, but fine Belgian chocolate.
Khushi, don't objectify people, one pesky voice commanded.
Oh shut up, it is not objectification, it is just true love, another voice said.
While she was busy creepily staring at her fiance, he woke up and the spell was broken.
"Gupta, stop staring at me creepily."
"I was not staring. I was thinking."
"What about?"
"About getting married in a month. Raizada, we need to discuss stuff and all."
"What kind of stuff?"
"Like where we will live? Who will sleep on which side of the bed? How many children to have? Who will name them? When do we have the talk about bees and birds with them? When do we tell them about inner beauty and all that kind of stuff."
"We have a month. That is plenty time."
"Fine. If you say so."
"By the way, why are you staying in a hotel? You could stay with us."
"The house is being painted and I am allergic to paint. So Daadi thinks it is best I stay in a hotel. She is determined to get me married off now that a sucker has been found. So she wants to make sure nothing goes wrong."
"I know that. But stay at home, we will get time to have all those conversations."
"Nope. Can't do. I am a good Indian girl, okay?"
"Yeah, right."
"Why do you look so pensive? How come you reached the airport so late? I thought you were like my Dad. He reaches 24 hours before a plane is about to take-off."
"Hmm. Nothing."
"Everything okay, Raizada?"
"Well, I was half way through the airport when I realised that there was something that I had, which I wanted to share with you. I went home and couldn't find it though."
"Oh my god! I know what you are talking about... you couldn't find it because... I took it from your house the other day."
"What?"
"I am sorry. I guess it is kinda creepy, but I couldn't resist."
"Khushi, that was wrong. I don't appreciate you snooping through my things."
"I know, I am sorry. But I wasn't snooping. I was looking for the notebook and I found it."
"No, Khushi. That does not make it okay."
"God, Raizada, I get it, that was wrong. You were creepy too, to keep it for so long. But don't overreact now. It is not such a biggie."
He swore and looked out of the window and the plane began its descend.
"Raizada, I know you are embarrassed, but really, let it go, already."
"Khushi, I don't want to talk about this. So, shut up. Please."
Khushi's eyes filled up. What a nasty, nasty man. He looked out of the window moodily and Khushi swore when the cheerful flight attendant announced, Welcome to Mumbai's Chatrapati Shivaji International Terminal. Have a pleasant stay in Mumbai.
Pleasant stay, my foot.
Once the aircraft came to a halt, Raizada picked up his laptop bag and headed towards the exit. He didn't turn behind to look for her.
**
Part 15:
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/92537312 Edited by TabassumR - 12 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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