Posted:
Molten_lava, saw that most of the posts replying to you were one or two lines. Problem with me is once I start expressing in written words, there's no stopping me! First of all, loved your OS. The Bhang Effect came like a gentle bang, but, slightly differing from other replies, the ending could have been more perfected. I mean, it began so slow, beautiful and I could see it in my vision what those two were doing and feeling and then suddenly, it was night, she was at the poolside, saw him, caught his hand, and they confessed their hatred question and aly together. Okay, I love the way the ending was gentle. I mean, your whole story was gentle. But the part in between, after he put the colour and before they lay down together: you kind of need to slow done on the feelings and let it flow. The scenes should flow but that middle part was kind of forced and in a hurry to end. Okay, I'm not criticizing or anything, sorry for that. But you seem to have a lot of caliber in writing beautiful plots, so just wanted to tell you, as a dedicated reader of your story, that it would be beautiful if you could let the pace of the middle match with the beginning and end. Also, my interpretative mind's on alert mode again. Loved the scene where he puts red on her waist and she silently accepts it. The red signifying his unsaid wish, "I'd like you to be the mother of my children...the offspring of my blood in you..." Cool signification that! Keep up the creativity, dear!
nice os 
Cricket
