Where should i start?
Okay, three points in your chapter that made my heart jump,
1. "The hell is your problem?" I asked getting into the car and fastening my seat belt. Then I turned to look at him. I think I audibly gulped. He looked livid. His hands forcefully gripped the steering wheel and his eyes were smouldering with silent rage.
Holy f**king shit. Did I ever tell you I have a thing for jealous, protective, cliche situations and boys? Like seriously. Anyone could figure out the reason why Arnav was so angry, and that was why I had the biggest grin on my face, as my heart skipped, I mentally did a happy dance and continued to read.
Because let's face it, Angry, protective Arnav = some intense OMG scenes.
:D :D
2.I got out and was about to walk back home when a vice grip grabbed my hand and pushed me against the car.
I leaned against it, curving my spine as his face loomed dangerously close to mine. My breathing quickened as his eyes bore into mine.
"What were you doing with Shyam Jha?" His words washed over my face, causing a blush to rise up to it.
Hahahahahah oh man, oh man! Classic ASR to back a girl against some solid unmoving object, to come close to her, to make her lose all train of thought and then demand answers. This man is evil. But so sexy. And I would give anything to be in Khushi's shoes for the situation ;) :D
3. With that he leaned in brushing his lips against mine. It was slight brush but I felt like my entire body was on fire.
I held onto to the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. His hands on my shoulders left its place there, slowly trailing up, finally settling in my hair, pulling me even closer.
"We shouldn't do this ... I hate you right now ... " I said in between his relentless kissing.
"Yes ... hate ... later ... "
Ummm did you say that writing kissing scenes was "not your forte"?
Because that sure as hell made butterflies erupt in my stomach, as a huge smile settled on my face and this time i actually did a little happy dance at having them finally kiss! :D
It was sweet...and sorta impulsive. And you know, it seemed to fit perfectly with the whole situation. Don't worry too much, you did a really good job with describing the kiss, the situation, the emotions and the confusion.
It was a really good part! :)
As for the quote, hahahahaha LOVE it!
And i love how it fits in so well, not only with this part, but also with the entire story so far! Arnav is keeping things from Khushi, doesn't mean he is deceiving her, it might be for her own good? And I think Khushi sub-consciously knows that he is not the deceitful type which is why she trusts him more than Shyam.
As for Shyam, he is ready to reveal all, but how much of that is the truth?
Either ways, that was pretty good! An enjoyable read in the midst of al these exams and assessments! :D
Oh and I know, you will be outraged, but I did not get the LOTR reference. Reason being, I hated LOTR and loved Harry Potter 😳 Hahahah my friend was so shocked when she found out I had never watched or read LOTR. So she forced me to sit through an entire marathon of LOTR -.- I still loved Harry Potter more :D
Can't wait to read more! :D I absolutely adore Khushi's characterisation in your fic! :D
~K
Edited by Krani - 13 years ago
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