Geet had accepted her fate but she questioned her destination. What was her purpose in life? Who was she living for?
Currently it was for her friends that she was making an attempt at appearing to be normal, but reality was that she was far from being the Geet she had been. And every time she looked in the mirror she got her proof. IT wasn't just her hair but instead it was her whole aura that had morphed into someone unknown. She had lost the spark that made her who she was.
She stared down at the knife in her hand and tried to persuade herself to put it away. But something within her had snapped and she could no longer control herself.
Indeed she had lost all emotions and feelings. She no longer felt pain or guilt. Instead she was cocooned in a blanket of apathy.
She wanted to feel something, anything!
Pain, anger, love or hate…it didn't matter. She just wanted to feel something, feel connected. It was as if her id had taken control, letting her basic instincts take over.
So she gently pressed the knife down onto her wrist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE:
When Geett says it was almost like her id took over, she means it in terms of Sigmund Freud's Psychic apparatus definition.
Id is considered to be the disorganised part of our brain, that basically involves our instinctive drives. It's the part that doesn't really respond to logic but focuses more on bringing pleasure.
Thought I would explain that in case some people were confused!😃
708