TRAUMA DRAMA 15.9
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Part 14
Armaan was her first, and Shilpa was going to be his last, he'd said. That was going straight into her journal as her favorite quote of all time, but right now, she was busy.
"Are you warm enough?" He asked as he nuzzled and kissed the delicate skin along the side of her neck.
"I'm not ' cold. Do I feel cold?"
"Not even close," he replied.
"You're not cold either," she said.
He laughed a little at her obvious nervousness. "I haven't been cold since I first saw you," he told her.
"You haven't?" She asked.
"No." He kissed her lips, softly tugging her bottom lip with his lips before slowly releasing it.
"I have a horrible feeling that I'm going to be really bad at this," she confessed.
"Impossible," he told her. "Don't intellectualize it. This isn't a test."
He gently maneuvered her from her side to her back, and then engaged her in a kiss that made her feel as if she'd been consuming Cristal for days.
"I can't imagine anything could be more satisfying than your kisses," she blissfully sighed in the midst of the sultry kiss.
"You say that now." He smiled against her mouth as he continued to savor her succulent red lips. "I've only kissed your mouth."
"Oh my," she said as.
"You're never going to want to read those books again after a round or two with me," he told her, brushing his thumb across her puckered n*****.
"I don't think I can talk to you like this." She felt as if she'd been holding her breath. "Maybe you could just kiss me again."
As she waited for his lips to touch hers again, she instead felt his lips on her b*****.
"That's not really what I meant," she told him.
Armaan lifted his head and moved to kiss her mouth again.
"Maybe not," he said, "but it is what you want."
"Uh-huh," Shilpa murmured as she felt his lips on her breast again. "You know what I want?"
"I do," he quietly spoke while his mouth touched every inch of her body
"That's just ' there are no words," she murmured loud enough for him to hear.
He then dropped a kiss between her b***** before taking the other one into his mouth. Her hands moved to the back of his head drawing him closer, and he knew she was finally engaging.
"I can't imagine anything feeling better than this," she said somewhat breathlessly.
"You won't have to imagine it," he said lowering his mouth to the outside curve of her breast.
After a few minutes, his mouth left her breast and began kissing a path towards her stomach. His hand stroked her outer thigh down to her knee, and then back up the front of her leg. Shilpa then felt his hand run along the inside of her thigh and slightly bit her lip thinking he was going to touch her there ' but he didn't. Instead, he repeated the same thing on her other leg.
"Is this ' foreplay?" She asked with her eyes closed, as she experienced each new sensation he awakened inside of her.
"Yes," he replied as he proceeded to trace the contours of her lithe body.
"How do you feel?" He asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "How should I be feeling?"
"There's no specific way to feel, but it should always feel good," he said, moving his hand down to her stomach. "Does it?"
"Yes," she spoke on a breath of air.
"What about this?" He asked, as his fingers stroked her lower abdomen.
"Mmm hmm," she said, gripping the sheets with one of her hands.
His fingers slid further down into her soft curls, "What about now?"
"I think I may just melt away," she said.
He moved his hand even further to cup her completely.
"I know I've read about this in books, but can we do this?" she asked thinking it was a bit scandalous.
He moved so she could see his face, "You and I decide what we can and can't do," he told her. "I'm going to do whatever you want me to and nothing that you don't want. Now, I want you to try and relax."
"I am relaxed," she insisted unable to believe she was actually doing this.
"You're not relaxed," he told her, as he explored and manipulated her with his fingers.
"I'm not," she stated.
"You are," he replied.
"Maybe it would help if you kissed me while you're doing ' that," she said.
"I can do that," he murmured and then accommodated her as he slowly penetrated her with his finger.
"I don't know if I can take this," she said, quite breathless.
"You can," he told her. "Try to relax."
"How can you expect me to relax?" She asked, as a flash of lightening lit up the sky.
"You're tense when you're not relaxed, and you have a death grip on my finger," he told her, "and it's only my finger."
"Only your finger?" She said, opening her eyes.
"Relax," he whispered as he licked her lips and then kissed them, while his thumb rubbed her
"That feels good," she told him, her hips instinctively rising to meet his hand.
"That's nothing." He kissed her again as he continued to massage the swollen bundle of nerves.
"I feel like I'm going to come out of my skin," she told him.
This was such a strange position for him to be in. He taught medicine, not sex. Before Shilpa, he probably would have rolled his eyes at the mere idea of giving a sexual tutorial, but this was important to him. She was important to him, and, perhaps technically, this was sex, but it was deeper than that. It was intimacy, and she was putting all of her faith and trust in him. That was a gift.
"P****," she softly spoke, surprising not only herself, but him as well.
"Yes." He kissed her.
"Oh, my," she said as he withdrew his fingers and began stroking her inner thighs, "Armaan, I don't know if I can stand this."
"Trust me," he said, "You can. Just concentrate on what you feel."
"Okay," she said, until his lips touched the inside of her thigh. Oh God.
He continued his soft kisses as he moved closer to the most sensitive part of her body.
"Armaan," she said softly, "I don't know about this."
He lifted his head, "I do," he assured her, and then he moved so that he could look at her, "Why does it bother you?"
"It doesn't," she said, "It just seems too intimate or something."
"It is very intimate," he agreed reaching down to touch her there, "I want you, Shilpa ' all of you."
He returned to her lower body and began to gently caress her with his fingers. He delicately outlined her entire sex with his large fingers. Shilpa had a serious grip on the blanket, as he touched her where no one ever had. Armaan watched as desire washed over her face and body. She was, by far, the most beautiful, sensual woman.
"How does this feel?" he asked her, as his fingers continued working their magic.
"Exquisite," she said, trying to control her breathing.
"I'm going to die at the age of twenty-four," she murmured.
"No, you're not," she heard him whisper before he traced the seam of her legs with the tip of his tongue.
"Oh my God," she spoke, though her voice was barely audible.
He then ran his tongue excruciatingly slow up the middle and over her swollen c***.
"This is too much," she said softly.
Armaan dropped a soft kiss and looked at her, "I knew you'd like it. Just close your eyes and enjoy what you feel, Shilpa. You have an incredibly beautiful body, and I want all of it."
She couldn't speak as he continued his delicious assault on her. He stroked her c*** in a slow circular motion with his tongue.
"Armaan," she softly moaned, as her fingers found their way into his hair, her foot caressing his back as he continued to cast a sensual spell over her.
"So sweet," Armaan whispered as he licked and suckled and kissed her
If it hadn't been for the torrential weather outside, he was certain the entire archipelago would have heard her screams of ecstasy, but it wouldn't have surprised him if the other residents staying on the island had. He couldn't help but be amused by the mortified expression on her glowing face.
"Was that really me?" She asked.
"It was definitely you," he spoke as he moved his body over hers.
"That was undignified," she told him.
"No, it wasn't," he disagreed.He kissed her. "And that was only the beginning."
"There's more?" She asked, gazing into his metallic blue eyes. "Obviously, there's more, but ' I can't believe you did that."
"Wait until you see what else I can do," he smirked and kissed her. "I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"I need to get some condoms," he told her.
"Oh," she said, a bit uneasy. "Some?"
"As many as I can find," he smiled as he pushed off of her. "You may not want to look right now."
"Too late," she said, unable to tear her eyes away from his erect penis. "I don't think it's going to fit."
"It's going to fit." He kissed her.
"Then it's going to hurt," she replied.
"It's not," he quietly spoke, kissing her once more. "Trust me."
Armaan got off of the bed and went to grab a box of condoms that he'd traveled with just in case. Of course, he'd never imagined he'd be in the beginning stages of a relationship. He'd always kept them in tow for the occasional encounter with a woman that crossed his path at exactly the right time.
In this case, Shilpa had invaded his life at exactly the right time. Not even the petrified look on her face when she saw him aroused could ruin his mood. He was hot, hard, throbbing, and aching to screwed the woman he'd so quickly fallen in love with, while being enchanted by her, and her innocence, at the same time.
She was sitting up, staring straight ahead when he returned with the box of condoms. "Do you know how to put a condom on?" He asked.
"Obviously not," she said. "Do they make them that ' big?"
He felt it twitch a bit and wondered if she'd noticed. If she had, she didn't mention it. He opened the box and removed a packet and offered it to her.
"You want me to put it on ' you?" She asked.
"Yes," he replied as he tossed the box onto the night table.
"What if I don't want to?"
"Too bad," he smirked.
Shilpa wondered if she looked as flushed as she felt. She took the condom from him and ripped open the packet, exposing the rolled up latex. Meanwhile, Armaan plucked the wrapper from her hand and dropped it onto the table alongside the box.
"Are you going to tell me how to ' put it on?" She asked. "Or maybe you could show me this time and then I'll do it the next time."
"You're guaranteeing a next time then?" He asked.
"Yes," she said, still wondering how on earth this was going to work.
Armaan took the condom from her, and unrolled it onto his straining member. He then shoved the covers out of the way and told her to, "Lie back." Shilpa lay back onto the pillows as Armaan covered her body with his. He pushed her legs into a bended position and then slid one hand beneath her bottom to elevate her a bit.
Shilpa watched as he guided the tip of his penis to the aperture of her body and once again he told her to, "Relax."
"Right," she said unsure that was possible.
"Keep your hips elevated until I'm completely inside of you," he told her.
"Okay," she replied as she could feel him penetrating her inch by inch until there was no space left between them. "You were right. It didn't ' doesn't hurt."
"Now," Armaan said. "While I've got your full attention-"
"You've always got my full attention," she told him.
"I love you ' Shilpa," he confessed, as if it were some great sin for him to love anyone.
"Armaan," she said, her eyes welling with tears.
"Believe me," he told her. "I'm well aware that my being in love with anyone isn't exactly a dream come true, but there it is. I love you, and maybe you don't love me'"
"I do," she replied as tears were now rushing down her cheeks, knowing they were headed to a place that didn't, couldn't, exist for them. She just never imagined it would be this painful.
"You don't have to say that just because I did," he said while slowly kissing her tears away.
"I'm saying it because it's how I feel," she replied, despite promising herself that she never would ' but then he did. She couldn't leave him hanging like that when she shared his feelings.
"I'm sorry," he said completely unaware of what was really going on inside her mind. "I didn't mean to make you cry." He kissed her. "I'm sorry."
She was sorry for what the future would inevitably bring, but for this, she would never be sorry. For him, she would never apologize.
"Don't be sorry," she told him. "You haven't said or done anything wrong. You're perfect." She pulled her head down towards her and kissed him and murmured. "You're perfect."
"I'm not," he said as he pulled her legs around his waist. "Not even close."
"Well, I say you are," she told him, managing a smile as he began to slowly rock her body. "And'" She lost her train of thought.
"And?" He teased, quite pleased with himself as he'd rendered her unable to speak.
"Nothing," she finally spoke a moment later, as she locked her ankles and held on tight.
Part 15
If there were ever a time when Shilpa Malhotra wanted to defy the very essence of her life, it was now, as she lay relaxed and blissfully depleted on top of the blankets with the warm air gently blowing against her skin. She hadn't a single regret. Not one.
"The world didn't end," Shilpa softly spoke, her head comfortably resting against his chest.
"Were you expecting the world to end?" He asked her as he caressed her hair, which had dried in waves after being damp.
"Yes. No. I don't know," she replied.
"We haven't done anything wrong," he told her, "and just in case you were wondering, we're not done ' not even close."
She lifted her head so that she could look at him and asked, "Am I ever going to see daylight again here in the Seychelles?"
"Considering what's been going on outside all night, I'm not sure," he smirked.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it," she replied.
"Well," he said. "If the weather improves and you want to go outside, I don't have a problem with that."
"What do you mean?" She furrowed her brows in confusion.
"I mean I don't have a problem being naked outside," he told her.
"You can't be serious," she said.
"Can't I?" He'd never encountered such an enigmatic woman, and the thought alone sent blood racing to his groin.
"I suppose you can." She said, attempting to imagine what it might be like to be outside naked doing God knows what. "That doesn't seem like an appropriate thing to do."
A laugh rumbled deep within his chest. "Appropriate and sex don't really go together," he told her. "Besides, appropriate is overrated, especially in a matter such as this."
His hand lazily massaging her bottom momentarily distracted her. "One of the things that frightens me about you is that I believe you could convince me that anything is true, or not true," she confessed.
"That is scary," he slightly smiled as he teased the cleft of her bottom with one of his fingers.
"You know what's scarier?" She asked.
"What?"
"Never feeling this way again," she told him.
"I'm pretty sure that at some point we agreed we weren't going to be negative." He reminded her.
"I'm not being negative," she insisted.
"You're making assumptions about us that aren't nor will never be true," he quietly spoke. "Trust me when I tell you if I can be optimistic about anything, then so can you ' and I am optimistic about you and me."
The more optimistic he became, the worse she felt. Shilpa wanted to believe in him and what he was saying. She did believe in him.
"Shilpa," he said.
"What?" She asked, no longer musing.
"You should be feeling more positive about this, especially now," he told her while the sky continued to light up. It seemed as if the storm clouds weren't even moving ' that they'd just parked themselves above this private island with no intention of leaving.
"I am," she told him, because she really wanted to convince herself that she was.
"You're not," he said, "so'"
"So?" She replied.
"So," he repeated and then pulled her into a sultry kiss that evoked a sweet moan from her, before he broke the kiss and whispered, "I need you to do something for me."
"What?" She asked, quickly forgetting her negative thoughts as the desire that had already been ignited within her, began to stir once again.
"This," he said, never breaking eye contact with her as his free hand grasped hers and guided it to his stiff penis.
"Again?" She asked, her eyes widening.
"I told you we weren't done," he reminded her. "Although, I can't imagine ever been flaccid around you again."
"Oh my," she said, a common phrase for her now.
"I've never been in love with a woman I've had sex with," he informed her. "There was a time when I thought otherwise, but with you, I don't have any control. My body has a mind of its own."
If this was his way of seducing her, it was working. "Tell me what to do," she softly spoke, "or show me."
"Wrap your hand around me," he told her.
She wasn't sure she'd be able to due to the size of her hand relative to his ' size, but she did it. She wrapped her hand around his erection and felt its heat. It felt like hot velvet steel.
"More firmly," he instructed her, bracing himself for the pleasure that would come with that.
"Is that better?" She asked, tightening her grip but not too much for fear that she might cause him pain.
"More," he encouraged her.
"I don't want to hurt you," she said.
"You won't," he replied as she squeezed him a bit more. "There. Just like that."
"That doesn't hurt?" She asked.
"No," he told her and then he covered her hand with his and showed her what he wanted from her now.
With her hand enveloped by his and his throbbing member secure within her grasp, he pushed her hand along the turgid length ' all the way to the tip and back down to the base where her hand collided with the warm sac. He then removed his hand and let her try it on her own.
Armaan closed his eyes as Shilpa massaged the most sensitive part of his body at a painfully slow pace; studying not only his face, but also the organ itself as she further aroused him.
"Should I be doing something else?" She asked, wanting to please him in the same way he'd pleasured her.
"You're perfect," he told her. "Don't change a thing."
"Okay," she replied, but she was far too curious not to experiment a little, so she moved her body down along his until she was eye to proverbial eye with him.
Shilpa began to explore every aspect of his most impressive anatomy. He was perfectly formed in her opinion, and found that she really enjoyed touching him. With her hand still firmly gripping him, she continued stroking him.
"You are so hard," she told him as while she observed him, and then requested, "Tell me what you like. What's your favorite thing? Would you rather my hand or my mouth, Armaan ' or both." She gently stroked him some more, "I really want to know ' or I could just experiment and figure it out myself."
Armaan really was borderline speechless between her hand and the words she was speaking, but he managed. "Your mouth and your hands."
"What do you want me to do with my mouth?" she asked rubbing her thumb over the tip, picking up the dab of moisture that had formed there in the process.
"I want you to take me into your mouth and stroke me with your lips tightened around me," he told her. "No biting."
"You bit me," she accused, recalling his teeth grazing her nipples.
"I know what I'm doing," he replied, growing impatient for her mouth. "When you know what you're doing, we'll re-evaluate."
She was a novice ' no longer a virgin, but still a novice, and he wasn't sure she'd understand, so he remained still, allowing her to savor and explore him for as long as he could possibly withstand.
Not long.
"Shilpa," Armaan rasped. "You have to stop."
She stopped immediately. "Have I done something wrong?"
"No," he replied, reaching for a condom. "You have definitely not done anything wrong."
She took the freshly unwrapped condom from him. "I promised I would put it on this time."
Armaan watched as Shilpa placed the condom onto the tip and then carefully unrolled it onto the straining shaft and then carefully checked her work, which made him smile.
He moved to a sitting position, "Come here," he invited.
She crawled the short distance to him.
"You'll have to help me," he told her and then said, "Straddle me."
"O.K. Just tell me what to do," she said eager to learn, while doing as he'd asked.
"I want you to guide me inside of you," he told her, wanting to involve her as much as he could.
She reached down and gently pulled his thick member away from his ripped abs, and then maneuvered herself so she could take him inside of her, which she did as she carefully sank down onto him.
"I'm going to help guide you," he told her, "but you have to do most of the work. If you get tired, just tell me, and I'll take over."
"O.K." she said placing her hands on his shoulders.
She began by moving slowly in order to get used to the position, but once she became more comfortable, she increased her tempo.
"This is a good position for you because you can control where your body touches mine," he informed her.
"Control is a good thing," she said sliding her arms from his shoulders to around his neck.
"It can be," he said running his hands along her waist.
She stopped moving, "Would it be incredibly selfish of me if I told you I don't like this way?" she asked.
"Why would that be selfish?" he asked her tracing her collarbone with his fingers.
"This may come as a surprise to you, and maybe it won't always be this way, but right now, I'd rather you take the initiative," she said, "I'm not comfortable enough yet."
"So, it's selfish because it means I'll have to do most of the work?" he asked smirking at her.
"Well, yes," she told him, "I'm afraid that I've never really been the athletic sort, so not only do I not know what I'm doing, I'm tired already."
"I appreciate your honesty," he said, smoothing her hair from her face, "and not to worry. You'll catch up."
"Absolutely," she said relieved. "Thank you."
He slowly lowered her to her back without withdrawing from her.
"How did you do that?" she asked him.
"Very carefully," he smiled and covered her mouth with his.
She wrapped her legs around him as she had before while continuing to reciprocate Armaan's intensely intimate kisses. As his thrusts became more urgent, their mouths separated and her nails dug into his shoulders as that pleasurable feeling began to take wash over her yet again. She gripped him even tighter with her legs and short, soft moans began to escape her. She could hear Armaan breathing hard, but was finding it more difficult to think by the second.
"Oh my God ' Armaan," she said, "Armaan '"
Almost instantly, she screamed his name as her climax washed over her followed by Armaan's.
Shilpa lifted her arms above her head and stretched with Armaan still on top of her, "Yes, I definitely like that better," she smiled towards the ceiling.
"You do, huh?" he asked kissing her neck.
"Mmm hmm," she said throwing her arms around his neck, "I do. Actually, at this moment, I think I could like anything."
"Right now, I think I could eat anything," he told her.
"I think I've read that," she smiled at him gently shoving his shoulder.
"I'm buying your books from now on," he told her.
"Without those books, I wouldn't have known anything," she informed him.
"You didn't really know anything anyway." He pointed out, allowing his full weight to settle against her. "If I'm too heavy'"
"You're not," she said, effectively cutting him off. "I like this ' very much."
"As long as you can breathe." He smiled against the side of her neck.
"I don't think I've ever breathed better than I'm breathing now," she told him. "I've never felt more alive than I do at this moment. It almost makes me want to cry."
"No crying," he replied despite having the urge to cry a little himself.
Armaan had never been more content than he was now, lying there with Shilpa's arms wrapped around him as if she'd been born for him ' to hold him. Nothing had ever felt so right, so naturally right.
"I do love you," she whispered near his ear as she gently stroked his hair. "I'm always going to love you. Through it all, I am going to love you."
There was something ominous in what she'd said and the manner in which she's said it, and it wasn't the first time, he noted. Whatever it was she saw as a threat to them, it was clear she didn't want to tell him. Admittedly, he was curious as to the specifics of what was looming in the distance ' or perhaps, it wasn't so distant at all, but that didn't matter to him. He dealt in facts, not speculation, and he and the woman lying beneath him were a very real fact.
Armaan knew he didn't have all the information, but he couldn't think of a single thing, a single action, he wouldn't take to protect her and them.
"I'm a survivor," he said, lifting his head a bit so her neck wouldn't muffle his voice. "I didn't get to where I am by avoiding difficult situations or living in fear of all the things I shouldn't have been able to overcome." With his fingers, he turned her face towards his so that he could see her eyes. "Only one person can ruin us."
"Who?" She asked.
"You."
Part 16
Several mornings later, Armaan woke up on the beach to a gorgeous sunrise. Shilpa was lying beside him, but already awake.
"How can you possibly be awake?" He asked. "After last night, you should be sleeping well into the afternoon."
She looked at him and replied, "Don't you mean that you should be sleeping well into the afternoon?"
"No."
"So, this is camping," she said.
"This is not camping," he told her. "I don't camp."
"I've always thought sleeping outside qualified as camping," she replied.
"You've thought wrong," he smirked. "I know people who camp, but I'm not one of them. I prefer sleeping inside in a bed, or ' I don't have to sleep in a bed. I can sleep anywhere as long as it's inside."
"Is that why you're up so early?" She asked. "You couldn't sleep?"
"I don't need a lot of sleep," he told her. "When you're a surgeon, you get used to it."
"I'd stay in bed all day if I were permitted to do so," she admitted.
"That could be arranged." He kissed her.
"Armaan," she said, although it wasn't easy, as he continued to sensually assault her mouth.
"Hmm?" He murmured, while continuing to savor her succulent lips.
"My phone is ringing," she quickly spoke.
"Let it ring," he replied.
"I can't," she said. "I have to answer it."
Hearing the urgency in her voice, Armaan backed off a bit and then watched as she stood up, taking the blanket with her and then hurried to her villa leaving Armaan alone with nothing but the blanket beneath him.
Meanwhile, Shilpa grabbed her phone to take the call. "Hello," she spoke, trying not to sound as out of breath as she actually was.
"Hello darling."
"Mother?" Shilpa's heart sank. This couldn't be good. When there was bad news to be delivered, her father always made her mother do it.
"How are you enjoying the island?" Padma Malhotra inquired.
"What is it?" Shilpa asked, not wanting to prolong whatever the inevitable bad news was. "I don't want to tell you how wonderful my holiday is when I know you're calling to tell me something I most likely don't want to hear."
Padma sighed and quietly spoke, "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" Shilpa asked, sitting on her bed with the blanket wrapped around her as she waited for her mother to respond.
"The jet is en route to bring you home," Padma informed her.
Shilpa closed her eyes as they flooded with tears.
"Shilpa," Padma said when her daughter remained silent.
Still Shilpa said nothing, overwhelmed by her sadness.
"Adi-" Padma began.
"I don't care who or why," Shilpa told her, sobbing. "He promised me."
"I know," Padma softly replied.
"Father promised me I could have this holiday, and as always, he's taking it away," Shilpa sniffled. "He always takes everything away."
"I know," her mother spoke.
"It couldn't wait a few more days?" Shilpa asked.
"No," Padma said, not surprised at her daughter's tears. The two of them spent too much time crying at the hands of Shashank, who was only doing what he was supposed to do as a man in his position. "Shashank will call you when-"
"I know." Shilpa wiped her eyes, though it did absolutely no good.
"I'll see you when you arrive," Padma told her, and then ended the call.
Shilpa stared at the floor through blurred vision as she contemplated how to not only inform Armaan of her early departure, but how to actually ' depart.
"I told you to let it ring," Armaan quietly spoke, standing in the doorway wearing his board shorts. "Answering your phone while on vacation is never a good idea."
At this moment, she didn't even care how much of the conversation he'd heard.
"Hey," he said as he walked closer to the bed and then lowered himself to her eye level. "What's wrong?"
"Everything," she cried.
"I know for a fact that not everything is wrong," he told her, as he forced her to look at him.
"I have to go home," she said.
"Is everything okay?" He asked. "Everyone, rather?"
"Everyone's fine," she told him. "No one's sick. No one died. I just hate my life." She then laughed a bit. "My life. It's never been my life."
"What about going home?" He asked. "I thought you weren't leaving for a few days."
"I wasn't supposed to," she said, trying to calm down. She didn't want him to think she was a crybaby.
"Then why are you?" He wanted to know.
"I'm not ready to say goodbye to you," she told him.
"We've covered this," he reminded her. "We're not going to say goodbye to each other."
"You weren't going to say goodbye to me," she whispered. "I never said-"
"Technicality," he sort of smiled. "Some things are understood."
"You never listen," she said.
"I have heard every word you've said from the moment you said hi and asked me if I was lost," Armaan told her.
"I have to pack," she stated.
"You have to talk to me," he countered.
"I need to shower and get dressed," she replied.
"What time is your flight?" He asked.
"I don't know," she told him, because all she knew was that the private jet was en route.
"You don't know," he said.
"No!" She snapped. "I don't know." She had absolutely no idea or experience as to how to handle this particular situation. Of course, that was mostly due to the fact that she wasn't supposed to be in this situation.
Armaan stood to his full height with his arms folded across his expansive chest and said, "If this is it, then why not tell me everything?"
"I don't want to tell you," she replied.
"Why not?" He asked. "What is the big freaking deal?"
"The big ' deal is that once you know the truth about me, you and I will truly be over," she told him. "All of this will be ' over."
"Says whom?" He asked.
"Why can't you just accept what I'm telling you?" She replied.
"First of all, you haven't told me a damn thing, and second, I refuse to accept anything that remotely suggests that when your flight takes off from this island, you and I will be over," he growled with steely blue eyes.
She couldn't deny either of those things.
"Is that what you want?" He asked. "Now that we've apparently arrived at this moment, is it over? Are we over? Is every second of every minute of every day we've spent together just over, as if it meant nothing?"
Shilpa said nothing, because the truth was ' it was pointless. Why should she fight for something that was never going to be?
"Wow," he said. "You're not going to say anything?"
Shilpa stood from the bed and walked over to the dresser where she'd placed her jewelry box. She opened it, removed the engagement ring given to her by Adi, and then returned to where Armaan was standing. She slipped it onto her finger and showed it to him.
"I'm engaged to be married to-" She began.
Armaan grabbed her hand and handily removed the ring from her finger. "No, you're not," he said in an eerily calm manner.
"I am," she replied. "The wedding is in two weeks."
Armaan wasn't an idiot. "You're marrying the asshole you don't love," he stated.
"Yes," she said.
"WHY?" He snapped.
"I have to," she replied, feeling like a small child who was being reprimanded.
"You have to," he said. "That's your answer? You have to?"
"Yes," she told him.
He stared at her for a moment, his jaw twitching, waiting for her to say something more intelligible.
"I've done some offensive things in my life, but I have never done to anyone what you are doing to me now," he said.
"I'm sorry," she began to cry again. "I tried to tell you. You wouldn't listen."
"Oh, so now you're blaming me," he replied. "It's my fault that ' it's just all my fault for being the stupid man who laid it all on the freaking line for you." All of the confidence he'd once had regarding this woman was now rapidly dissipating. "You were just using me."
"NO!" She insisted. "I wasn't. I swear that I wasn't. I meant what I said when I told you I would always love you'"
"You can save it for your husband," Armaan told her, deciding to put every wall that ever existed back in place while he attempted to process the biggest rejection he'd ever faced, outside of his parents' rejection of him.
"I do love you," she said, willing him to at least believe that much, because that much was true.
He tossed the ring onto her bed. "Well, I hate you," he replied and then turned to leave.
"You have every right to feel that way," she sniffled and wiped her eyes, "but'"
"You're damned right I do," he said as he exited her villa without another word, slamming the door behind him.
"But I still love you," she finished and then added, "even if you hate me."
Shilpa walked over to the closet and pulled out her luggage. This is one of the pitfalls of being on her own ' packing. It wasn't something she was accustomed to. In fact, this was her first time. How hard could it be and what difference did it make anyway? Her life was over in all the ways that mattered. Armaan was gone. The one man who'd loved her now hated her.
The door to the villa flew open and a second later Armaan reappeared. "I don't hate you. I hate you in this moment and for doing this to us, but I don't hate you. I could never hate you because I love you, and I don't love anyone. Dump the asshole and his ring."
Slightly tilting her head to the side she spoke, though it was barely audible. "I can't."
"You can't or you don't want to?" He asked.
"I can't," she replied.
"So you want to, but you can't?"
"Yes," she said.
"I don't see a ventriloquist speaking for you," Armaan pointed out. "In the States a person is emancipated from his or her parents at eighteen, and can vote at twenty-one. How old do you have to be where you live?"
"It's not about that," she told him.
"Then what's it about?" He asked, running his hand down over his face in exasperation and then crossing his arms over his chest. "Because I can't think of one thing that would deter me from being with you. Not one thing."
"It's about my father," she said and then added, "It's also about my mother. It's about my family. It's about thousands of years of traditions that cannot be broken."
"I don't give a shit about your family's traditions," he stated. "I don't deal that way. When I want something bad enough, I fight for it. You don't even want to try."
"There's no point in it," she told him. "If I were a man-"
"Don't turn this into sexism." He interrupted her. "I'm not a sexist, so-"
"I'm not talking about you." This time she cut him off. "I don't reside in the same world that you do, Dr. Mallik."
He shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"You have many freedoms that I don't," she explained. "I am at the mercy of my father, my grandfather, my great-grandfather, and so forth. They decide what I do, and don't do." Realizing she was still wearing a beach towel, she asked, "Would you excuse me for a moment?"
Armaan said nothing as she retrieved a champagne-colored silk kimono from her closet and then went to the bathroom to put it on before re-entering the bedroom.
"I've seen it all," Armaan dryly spoke.
"What?" She asked, confused.
"You changed in the bathroom," he clarified.
"That bothers you?"
"It doesn't bother me," he said. "It was merely an observation. Never mind. You were saying?"
"I'm not supposed to be here," she told him. "I'm not supposed to travel alone, but my father relented and gave me this trip as a gift because somewhere inside of him, he felt guilty."
"Guilty?" Armaan's eyebrow was raised in curiosity.
"I was promised an education," she began. "From a very young age, I've always known what was expected of me. The path my life would take was in place long before I was conceived. I've accepted that. I've had no choice but to accept that; however, I wanted to go to University. I didn't care that it would be irrelevant to everyone but me. I wanted substance. I've always craved information and learning, so my father agreed to permit me to study at Sorbonne in Paris. I was midway through my fifth semester when I was forced to leave school."
"Forced?" Armaan didn't like that word at all.
"Adi didn't like it-"
"Adi?"
Shilpa grabbed the ring off the bed and said, "Adi. Adi Sharma. Prince Adi Sharma."
"Should that name mean something to me?" He asked, taking the ring from her, and tossing it onto the floor.
"You've never heard of him?"
"No," Armaan replied. "Sounds Indian."
"He is Indian," she told him, having thought everyone knew, or had at least heard, of Adi. He was known internationally as the rock star royal.
"So?"
"So," she sighed as she turned and walked back to her closet.
Armaan watched as her head disappeared for a moment. He heard a loud click. "What are you doing? What is that?"
A moment later, she stepped back from the closet and turned towards him with what appeared to be a diamond tiara sitting atop her dark, mussed up mane.
"You can't be serious," Armaan said, thinking he'd entered some obscure version of the twilight zone.
"I'm very serious," she said, making her way back to him. "To everyone but you, I am Princess Shilpa of Saint-Alexandre. My father is King Shashank; my mother is Queen Padma; and I am the Crown Princess."
"I don't care," Armaan told her.
"You don't care?"
"I ' don't ' care."
She couldn't believe how unfazed he was by this. "You don't have to care," she replied, "but I do."
"Give him back the freaking ring," Armaan spoke as if he were greeting someone at Starbucks early in the morning.
"I can't give him back the ring, and even if I did, it wouldn't matter," she told him.
"Then make it matter." Armaan's eyes were blazing.
"We can stand here and talk about this all you want, but the truth is that once I board the royal jet, you and I will cease to exist. I'll never speak of you again, because this ' what we've done, what I've done, is forbidden. You can go one about your life any way you want, but I can't. My life will resume as planned. I've tried to explain this to you, but you refuse to listen."
"Correction," he said. "I refuse to accept it."
"What you refuse or don't refuse doesn't matter," she replied. "Can you at least understand that?"
"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid," Armaan gritted out. "I don't know why I came back here. I don't have a conscience, but I couldn't let you leave thinking that I really hated you when it's not true. I wish I could hate you. I should loathe you. I'm used to being used and played with, but I'm usually privy to it. I thought-"
"You thought you could manipulate the situation, whatever it may be," she quietly spoke.
"No," he said. "I thought, no, I believed that you would fight for us. I believed that you were feeling everything that I was feeling."
"It's not about that," she told him.
"It's only about that!" He snapped. "I came here to clear my head so that I could go home and attempt to start over. I thought I was going to get that chance with you, but you don't care. At least tell me this-"
"What?" She asked.
"Why?" He replied. "In your objective opinion, what is it about me that doesn't inspire you to fight for us? You've said you're going to board your fancy private jet and forget about me."
"That's not what I said." She wiped her eyes. "I'm never going to forget you or stop thinking about you, but I can't tell anyone. I can't tell them I've fallen in love with a man that I met in the Seychelles. I can't tell them I've been sleeping naked in your arms for days and wishing I could do it forever. I've been selfish. I know what's waiting for me when I get home. My father granted me this trip because he knows how unhappy I am. He knows I don't like Adi. Adi is the male version of a wh**e. It seems that every time he calls me, I can hear other women in the background. That won't stop once we're married."
She was a crying mess now as she continued. "Adi was the reason my father made me leave school. He didn't want an educated wife. He said it wasn't my purpose in life. All I'm meant to do is produce an heir, preferably male. I'm sorry that I've hurt you, but I wanted to know how it felt to love someone and have that love returned. I never imagined it would happen. I couldn't resist you. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to resist you, but I have no choice."
Armaan decided to test that theory. Before she could protest, he'd closed the distance that separated them and drew her into a kiss. His fingers deftly untied the silk belt of her kimono before pulling it from her body, his body, leaving her wearing nothing but the diamond tiara. Without breaking the kiss, he ditched his board shorts and then easily lifted her against the wall.
Shilpa made no move to stop him. She hadn't been lying when she said she'd been unable to resist him, so she welcomed him into her body for one last time. She memorized the sensation of her thighs against his hips, her breasts crushed to his chest. She memorized the taste of his lips and tongue, the way they coaxed her to return his kiss with equal fervor. Most of all, she cherished how they felt together. No one could take this feeling away from her. She closed her eyes and held tightly to him as his thrusts became insistent and desperate until both of their bodies experienced intense orgasms. Neither of them moved, knowing what they knew to be true.
They remained this way for nearly ten minutes before Shilpa said, "You have to let me go."
"I can't," he told her, his voice muffled by the delicate skin of her neck.
"I'm always going to love you," she said. "That's never going to change."
He lifted his head and kissed her. "I love you, Shilpa," he whispered. "You can't leave me. You don't understand." He hated that all his childhood vulnerabilities were rising to the surface. "You have to fight for us."
To say that she couldn't would be pointless. Right now, all she wanted was to erase that look of desperation from those eyes that would forever be burned into her mind. She simply said, "I'll try. I don't know what I can do, but I'll try."
"I can take care of you," he told her. "If they banish you or whatever it is they do, I can take care of you. You can finish school and do whatever you want. We could live anywhere in the world. We could live here. I don't care, but I need you in my life. I need you, Shilpa."
She loved being Shona. She wanted to be Shona forever. Shona was human. Shona was allowed to express and feel real emotion.
She softly kissed his lips and promised, "I'll try." She kissed him once more. "You should go. This will be difficult enough without them discovering you here."
He reluctantly set her onto her feet. "I'm sorry I told you I hated you," he apologized.
"I would hate me too, if I were you," she replied.
"I'll give you my phone numbers and address so you can get in touch with me," he quietly spoke.
"No," she said. "You can't give me anything. I'll find you."
"You have people for that?" He smirked.
"Yes," she smiled. "I have people."
Armaan kissed her again, extending it for as long as he could.
"Enjoy the rest of your stay," she told him.
"I'm not staying," he replied. "I don't want to be here without you. I'm going to change my flight and go home."
"Don't forget the painting," she reminded him.
"I won't," he said.
"You should probably keep it with you so it doesn't get damaged," she suggested.
"I will," he stated, glancing at the tiara, which sat a bit crooked atop her head. "Your tiara is a little crooked."
She reached up and took it off.
"You look better without it," he told her, and Shilpa smiled a little. "If you need anything, even if it's just to talk-"
"I'll find you." She lightly cradled the side of his face with her fingertips. "I promise."
Armaan kissed her once more before donning his shorts, and then he left. Meanwhile, Shilpa put her kimono back on and then hurried to the door so she could observe him one last time before she prepared to depart the island. Shilpa touched her fingers to her lips and then gently blew a kiss into the light breeze.
"One day, I will find you," she whispered.
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