TS || Tu hi Rab...Tu hi Dua...|| Final Chapter on pg 12 || 6/10/16

Something from my side regarding the accident track!!

I kind of missed the intense Shravan...😭

Tried to write what we missed upon today!!

Do give ur comments!!

I stood up from the small metallic stool kept beside the hospital bed when a tug at my hand stopped me. I looked down only to see Sumo's delicate fingers tightly gripping onto my first two fingers. For once I tried to open the hold to go away to breathe on a fresh bout of air but she was holding onto my fingers as if her life depended on it. So I just sat back and held onto her hand to provide the needed solace to her subconscious mind... or rather my very much conscious mind. Seeing her in this condition was making me feel messed and mixed emotions of guilt, anger, irritation, pain, helplessness and the foremost furiousness at myself. I don't know why... but I was angry at myself. Very very angry. I felt myself responsible for what happened to her. I felt as if it was all my fault that resulted in her lying unconscious on the hospital bed after the horrible accident. Maybe I indirectly was... maybe it wouldn't have a happened if I had not looked away and left her at her own self... maybe it wouldn't have happened if I wouldn't have taken the case... and when taken at least I would have read each and every damn paper related to the case like a hawk so that I could have prepared her for what would happen to her beloved PCT... maybe it wouldn't have happened if I won't have listened to my dad and gone to give her the land papers, in a way trying to trample her self respect unintentionally... or maybe it wouldn't have happened had I not returned from London at all. But it has happened and that too in a terribly horrible way. A shudder ran through my spine as a flashback of her lying in a pool of blood danced in front of my eyes. Her face was covered in so much of blood that the fair complexion of her face had almost disappeared. Her dress was soaked wet in the blood oozing out of her head till the moment I reached her. I cannot get the image out of my mind and it keeps coming back again and again to haunt me.

I looked at her closely. She looked so fragile and weak. I had not seen a single movement in her body since the last 8 hours. The doctors had done a series of tests on her along with MRI scans and all while I had not budged from her side even for a moment, not even when Nanaji asked me to. How could I... I was responsible for what happened to her and I won't leave her side at all. The reports weren't out yet but I know anything won't happen to her... yes I know... She is my Sumo... my ferocious brave Sumo... this stupid accident is nothing for her... yes... she will wake up... she will rest till she wants... but finally she will wake up. She has to... because I need to tell her so many things... I need to clear the misunderstandings between us... I need to apologise and make her do it too... I need to rebuild our relation... and yes... I need to confess that I love her... no matter what came... I have always loved her... and I will always do!!! Life was too small to always fight and loose someone you love was something I realised today.

I very very slowly, as if she were a friable thing, picked her hand up and slipped my hand below it while my other hand was already holding it from above. Her palm was now sandwiched between mine and my thumb involuntarily traced the tender skin beside the IV drip that was inserted in the back of her wrist. She had had a huge loss of blood and had gone too weak. She had been connected to glucose and blood drips while an oxygen mask was attached to that beautiful face of hers. To be honest it broke my heart into a million pieces to see her in that state. I just wanted one thing... that she wakes up. I wanted her to talk to me... fight with me... argue with me...slap me... do anything that will provide her solace but I wanted her to wake up for my sake. The sight of her lying that way was unbearable to my eyes. I wanted to hug her the moment she wakes up and tell her that whatever happened wasn't intentional from my side and that I never wanted to hurt her. I could never even in my worst nightmares want that. But she wasn't waking up... Tell me what should I do that she does. I wanted to cry... and I realised I actually was when I felt a drop roll underneath my lashes and fall on her hand. I wiped it very softly and lay my head on the bed to hide the tears that freely spilled from my eyes.

"Shravan... beta tum ghar jao... go and change... have some rest... hum sab hai na yaha... Pushkar hai... tum jao.." I heard papa saying as he run a loving hand on my head.

"Nahi papa... mai Sumo ko chhodke kahi nahi jaane wala... I won't budge from here till she wakes up... and she will... I know... she has to... for me... for me she has to wake up..." I heard myself saying as I looked at dad with intensely painful eyes. No ways was I going to leave her side, till I see her safe and sound. The door clicked open and the doctor entered in.

"Doctor... Sumo theek toh ho jayegi naa..." I sprang on my feet.

"Mr. Shravan... your wife is in a very critical condition... I am..." the doctor has started to speak to tell me of Sumo's condition.

"Doctor, she isn't his..." Papa interrupted, wanting to tell the doctor that she wasn't my wife but before he could complete, surprisingly I heard myself cutting him mid sentence as I impatiently asked the doctor, "Doctor... plz tell me honestly what does her reports say now... when will she be conscious... vo khatre se bahar toh hai na..."

"Mai abhi aaya... " papa uttered as he moved out to pick his ringing phone while I sat still, gazing at her quietly. He might be pissed of on what I did now... but I don't care about anything at the moment other than Sumo. The impatience in my voice surprised me too. And the thing that I didn't let my dad correct the doctor and cut his sentence because I was too impatient to know of her health... okay fine... maybe the other reason was that I didn't feel like correcting him. I wonder sometimes, how I managed to love this girl so passionately even after being so badly hurt by her. A single mouth speaks foul about her and I want to rip the person apart. Maybe because, the few bads in her was superseded by the huge amount of goods in her. Maybe because she was she... too impulsive, innocent but equally caring and lovable. She never tried to be what she wasn't and she never refrained from speaking her heart out and that was a quality not many have in them. I love her still because for me there was no one but she!!!

"Mr. Shravan... Suman has quite a serious head injury hence her some nerves of her spinal cord have suffered a severe damage. The herniated disc of her spinal chord is mildly ruptured and she has acquired a temporary paralysis in her right arm and lower limbs..."

"Paralysis..." I stood up shell shocked.

"Aise kaise ho sakta hai doctor... it was a serious accident I agree but paralysis... Nooo..." I stumbled back blabbering that she can't suffer from something so serious. It came as a shock to me and I felt my heart clenching inside my chest. My back hit the wall behind and I leaned on it for support as I opened a few buttons of my shirt in a haste. Breathing had become a mammoth task suddenly.

"Mr. Malhotra... please relax... your wife needs you now... aap aise toot jayenge toh kya hoga... I said it's a temporary condition... it can be healed..." I snapped up my head as I heard the doc say that.

"Then plz heal her doc... plz do something... just save my Sumo... please..." I joined my hands in front of him in utter helplessness. I had never done that in front of anyone. I was literally begging the doctor to save her because I don't know what else to do.

"Mr. Shravan please calm down... we will... we will heal her... it will take time... but I assure you..." the words that came out of his mouth provided me with some relief.

"Doctor you need not worry about money at all... I will give you any goddamned amount you say but please heal her...Vo hosh me kab tak..." I asked ready to give anything and everything to see her safe.

"We cannot say about that... she might need time... we are doing all we can do... the next 24 hours are very critical for her... if she gains consciousness we can operate her spinal chord... and I assure you that this operation has 99% chances of being successful... but she needs to wake up within the next 24 hours... and it depends on god... pray to him" the doctor saying so squeezed onto my shoulder and left the room. I moved towards her bed minutes later, somehow composing myself. How I wish I could change everything that happened in the last few hours.

~~~~~~

I get down the car and moved in. I hadn't showered and changed from the blood stained clothes like since past 20 hours and had come to take one after Pushkar literally pestered me to do it. The last 20 hours, I was nothing but a vegetable who would just sit by Sumo's side and gaze at her, praying the almighty to wake her up. I hardly spoke to anyone else, not even papa... I don't know anything about what is happening outside her room. After my shower and dressing up I closed the door to my room and literally leaped down the staircase. I needed to reach her ASAP.

"Phone kyu nahi utha rahe the tum..." I heard papa's voice coming from his room. I wondered what he was doing at home when he should be in the office. I moved towards the room to ask him if everything was okay.

"Maine tum se kaha tha ki Suman ko sirf chot lagni chahiye taaki uske haath ya pair fracture ho jaaye... my intention was to only snatch her customers and finish her business and you have paralysed her... Kya kar diya tumne Berry... jise tumne us par nazar rakh kar accident karne ko bola use theek se samjhaaya tha ya nahi..." were the words I heard from across the door of papa's room and it took me a whole minute to process upon them.

"Shravan us se pyaar karne laga hai... unhe door karna zaroori hai... because I don't want any woman in my son's life who can control or dominate him more than me... he is mine and only mine...waise achha hi hua ek tarah se... is ladki ki vajah se Shravan ne mujh se theek se baat tak nahi ki... ab Suman ko bhi uski life se aise nikal phenkna hai jaise Nirmala ko door kiya tha... Vo toh ganimat hai ki Shravan itna disturbed hai ki uska dhyaan us par nahi gaya jisne yeh accident kiya... now I need to assure him that what happened was a mistake and I have taken care of it..." the rug swept out from under my feet as I heard papa say that. I processed all the things he said and even the sharp astute lawyer in me took many minutes to understand what actually happened and what had been actually happening with me all life. My whole life had been a bitter brutal betrayal... and the betrayer was no one else but a dad whom I loved more than myself.

I could never ever in my dreams imagine that he would plan something so dirty... so filthy!! I wondered how I could never see this face of my... No.. I feel so ashamed to even call him papa now. I needed to rush out. I cannot stay in the house anymore. It wasn't a house for me from now. Because there was no one there who actually loved me... the only person I thought who loved me unconditionally had betrayed me in possibly the most horrible way. I stumbled back and the vase sitting on the side table fell down and broke as my hand hit it.

"Shravan... tum... tum ghar kab aaye beta... main... tum..." he turned to look towards me and I could tell he was flabbergasted. The face which was dear to me more than life suddenly looked too disgusting.

"Beta Suman theek..." he had started the drama he has been doing all these years but I couldn't bear any of it now.

"Just shut up Ramnath Malhotra... just shut the hell up!! Don't you dare call her name... aur mujhe beta bulaane ki himmat bhi mat kijiyega... you don't deserve to be a father at all..." I said in a single breath and and sprinted out of the house. I drove like a maniac all over the city because I didn't know where to go. There was no one with me whom I could call my own when I just realised that Sumo was waiting for me in the hospital. She needed me...the girl who had tried to sort out of life but being the asshole I am, I pushed her away. I wanted to stay as far as possible from her then but she kept bumping into me every damn place I went and now when I want her back... life is playing games to keep her away. I wanted to laugh at the irony. My life had a lot of them.

~~~~~~~~

"Why only me... what had been my fault... I had always loved everyone in my life.. and all the people I loved betrayed me so badly. And the people whom I misunderstood the most were the ones who actually loved me unconditionally. Meri maa ko mujhe se chheen liya gaya... because in my papa's eyes I was a trophy he wanted to win by hook or crook. Why... don't I deserve love Sumo... didn't I deserve to be a part of a happy loving family... why only me!!!" I held onto her paralysed arm as I kept my heart open out to her. I know there was no one else who could understand me better. I knew, even if paralysed, she could and she would hear me... and understand me!! Only she could.

"Shravan..." I turned around only to see the woman standing whom I had hurt the most... misunderstood the most... the woman who was wronged in the worst possible way but hadn't made a sound...who kept loving me in her heart and stayed away from me for my own good, bearing the piercing pain of separation from her son.

"Maa.." was the only that u could utter with a clogged throat.

~~~~~~~~

"Sumo... please uth jao na ab... kitna waqt ho gaya tumhari awaaz sune... kaunsa zamaana ho gaya jab tumne mujhse pagalon ki tarah ladai ki thi... utho na yaar... tumhe pata hai mujhe sab pata chal gaya... maa ne mujhe sab bata diya... haan sumo... maa... tum yahi to chahti thi na... ki mai unhe maa bulao... aur tumhari baat samajh kar hum dono ke beech hui misunderstandings ko clear karu... dekho na sumo tum jo chahti thi ho gaya... maa tumhari accident ke bare me sunkar tumse milne aayi thi par ab mai unhe kahi nahi jaane doonga... kyuki mai sab samajh gaya hoon... mai jaanta hoon yeh sab kyu hua... kyuki tumhare paas aur koi chaara nahi tha... tumne apne aap ko itni takleef dekar meri zindagi me meri maa ko lautaya hai... ab kya mujhe us ehsaan ka badla nahi chukaane dogi... plz ab uth bhi jao... maa ke liye... Nanu ke liye...mere liye... plzzz..." I cried hysterically as Sumo still didn't wake up. It was less than 6 hours left for 24 hours observation time to finish. If she doesn't wake up, it might become difficult to operate upon her. I don't know what to do. I wanted to scream till my voice reached to someone called god.

"Shravan...sshhh... beta everything will be alright... she'll wake up...have faith on god..." Maa uttered caressing into my hair.

A small movement in between the fingers of mine, was something my head snapped up at. I saw Sumo's fingers that had some clips attached onto it, move very very slightly.

"Sumo... Sumo... you okay..." I called out to ber loud, as if my voice wasn't reaching her almost numb brain.

"Mai doctor ko bulaati hoon... " Maa rushed out.

"Sumo utho na... please open your eyes.. please sumo..." I begged to her. I had tried everything and now I didn't know of any other way to wake her up. A moment later, I saw a flickering movement of her eyes and she very slowly opened her eyes. And she closed it the next moment as the beam of light from the adjacent window dazzled ber eyes. I moved my palm, a few inches above her eyes immediately blocking the light that hurt her eyes.

"Relax Sumo... nurse please window band kar dijiye..." I urged the nurse. Her fragile hand was still in my hand and it lacked any sensation. It hurt me to see her not feeling my touch. Sumo slowly opened her eyes again and looked at me with a blurred vision. Her eyes which had tons of hope, they weren't rimmed with liner and kohl as usual but they were pretty, just like her face, which even without any make up on looked purely beautiful.

"Kaisa lag raha hai Sumo..." I asked ber as I caressed ber hair. A lone tear trickled down her face and she turned her face away.

"Jab koi khushi ya dard mehsoos hi na ho toh jaisa lagta hai waise lag raha hai... Tum yaha kyu ho Shravan..." she asked me. Hearing her speak was music to my ears after so long. But the words she spoke pierced my heart.

"Sumo... tum fikar mat karo... ab tumhe hosh aa gaya hai na... tum bilkul theek jo jaogi...I promise you..." I tried to assure her with a small smile. I was understanding the true meaning of relief now, when I see her safe and sound, out of danger in front of me. If the last 24 hours were critical for her, it were as much crucial for me too.

"Kyu Shravan... jab mujhse nafrat karte ho... jab tum mujhe barbaad dekhna chahte ho... toh kyu bachaya mujhe...achha hota na... meri shakal nahi dekhni padti tumhe agar us accident mein..."

"Sumo please... dobaara aise mat bolna..." I leaped forward and hugged her. I don't know why but I felt nothing other than a hug would calm her as well as me and tell her that I care. I very much cared for her. My arms were around her waist and my face buried in her neck softly. It wasn't as if I had crushed her... it was as very gentle one just to reassure her that her friend was there with her. I could feel the wetness and warmth of the tears trickling down her face on the side of my face. I knew she was crying. She was helpless, hurt, pained. The helplessness that she couldn't even move her limbs on her own was even more painful. She couldn't reciprocate the hug. Her one arm hand the IV drips stuck to them while the other one has stopped listening to her.

"Sumo... Chahe humaare beech kitne bhi manmutaav kyu na ho... remember that I am always with you... all this can be resolved but put friendship is too important... too invaluable to break like that... I never hated you... bewakoof tha mai... I can never do that... haan naraaz tha par nafrat... kabhi nahi sumo... kabhi nahi..." I wiped her tears, as I uttered these coming out of the hug and towering over her. A small smile tucked the corners of her lips and it made its way to my lips too. I was about to bend down and kiss her forehead when the doctor entered the room.

~~~~~~~~

"Sumo... I know ki tum dar rahi ho... par mai hoon na.. you trust me right... even though I have been a total asshole towards you but now I assure you sab theek ho jayega... sab kuch... I'll wait for you here... dekhna tum...poori tarah theek hokar hi bahar aaogi..." I said as I planted a kiss on her forehead and she smiled that pretty small smile of hers. It came so naturally as if it were the most natural thing to do at that time. The ward boy ushered her into the theatre a moment later. It was the next day after she had gained consciousness, that she was being taken for a surgery on her spinal chord. It was a big operation but the chances of success was high in her case. I could never thank god more for that. I turned and saw all the Tiwaris, Pushkar and maa were standing in the corridor. I prayed to the god to let everything happen as I wanted it now. Life was definitely getting back on track and I knew I had to take care of some things among all these. There was still so many things to know, to tell, to ask, to seek answers of, to apologise and much more!!

You did manage to capture all the emotions and intensity so well

It was amazing