ShraMan OS: The Green-Eyed Monster

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IntrovertedDame

@IntrovertedDame

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: orion23
Wow!
This was awesome...
Loved it🤗

Thanks🤗

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sapphire3

@sapphire3

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#12

Its awesome 👏
I loved it to core ❤️
Ur writing skills are quite impressive 👍🏼
Do write more...i wud love to read ur work 😊
If its not much to ask plzzz pm me ur work

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IntrovertedDame

@IntrovertedDame

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: an_chau
Nice one... And you're right, it does suit them well...
Just curious: which couple was this originally penned for?

Thank you so much! I wrote it for "Airlines" show on Star Plus- Akash and Ananya. 😊

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IntrovertedDame

@IntrovertedDame

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: astonm

First of all, I adore the way you write, breaking it up into sentences made the piece so much more powerful, kudos for that! Excellent use of italicizing and bolding, once again it had a huge impact on the way the story flowed!

Lol, Harry Potter references always make a story 100x better, ah, I loved Shravan's jealousy here, especially his disdain of the last name!

The part after Sumo didn't pull away from the "Mithaiwala" made me so sad for Shravan, such a beautiful depiction of his state of mind, and the resultant epiphany!

All in all, I loved this piece! It is very well written, and very realistic to Shravan's character, this was the man that was jealous of "Googolo", a suave business man is sure to rattle him! I could so imagine him thinking this, almost like a monologue! Great job! Hope to read more from you :)

Thank you, aston! Coming from you, it means a lot to me, because I know that you've been wielding your pen with a flourish for quite a while and regaling IFers with your stories!

I really like the idea of jealousy (in moderation), so I tried to delineate how Shravan would feel if he sees a worthy rival. I mean, if he can be jealous of Googlu...😆

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks again!😃

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IntrovertedDame

@IntrovertedDame

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: PALAK19
fabulous

Thank you!😊

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IntrovertedDame

@IntrovertedDame

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: sapphire3
Its awesome 👏
I loved it to core ❤️
Ur writing skills are quite impressive 👍🏼
Do write more...i wud love to read ur work 😊
If its not much to ask plzzz pm me ur work

Thank you so much!😳 Really means a lot to me.

I will certainly try my best to write more, and will PM you too!😃

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IntrovertedDame

@IntrovertedDame

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: mineforever
Great OS ❤️

Thank you😳

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Ankita

@Fly_high

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#18

Sorry like bug is not working nice os and Shravan's monologue was actually funny and his

He-who-shall-not-be-named.

Comparing him to Voldimort😆 this guy is crazy sach mein pyar mein pagla gaya hai 😆

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IntrovertedDame

@IntrovertedDame

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: vishti.dvd
Sorry like bug is not working nice os and Shravan's monologue was actually funny and his
He-who-shall-not-be-named.
Comparing him to Voldimort😆 this guy is crazy sach mein pyar mein pagla gaya hai 😆

No prob, honey, thanks a lot for commenting! Glad that you enjoyed it!😃

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basicquestion1

@basicquestion1

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#20

Hey there,
This was a lovely read. Thanx!
It was refreshing to read about Harry potter's references in the OS. It's been a while that I read through any of those. U described his hightened jealously wth all the bells n whistles - luvd it :)
So even though it's a one shot but the question is... What will he do about it then Haan? ;)

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