ARRANGED MARRIAGE Debate: Should it be stopped?

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DulceTentacion.

@DulceTentacion.

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#11

The dynamic system of arranged marriages have changed significantly. During our parents era, marriages were decided on the basis of looking at mere photographs and in some cases some individuals did not get a chance to witness the gorgeous/not so gorgeous features of their husband to be, they were simply stamped into matrimony, which is outrageous, i personally would rather remain single then forcibly get hitched to someone i don't know, which then again makes you wonder...is marriage necessary? why can't women stay single?why does society look down at a women who is unmarried?Marriage on the basis of force is completely wrong and should not be practiced. But then again i have witnessed many situations like this which is sad. Parent's should realize that they are not the one who will be spending the rest of their life with that particular person, they will not be sharing a bed with them, they will not be having sexual intercourse with that person but rather it's their child, hence in what right do they have in determining their decisions and likeness. Its bizarre.

I'd say in this modern era, arrange marriages more or less come into the category of love marriages. The two individuals are given opportunities to get to know one another better, and during this process some many actually start to like the person. But yeah during the process of arranged marriages majority parents nowadays make sure to get their child's approval and if the person getting married does not have any objections in arrange marriages then i don't see what's wrong in that. Some actually approve of arranged marriages in preference to love marriages - again it's a personal choice!.

'Nothing is guaranteed anymore in life. It either works or it doesn't' You say nothing is guaranteed in life, then on what assumption can you guarantee that arrange marriages cannot work? It either does or it doesn't like you said :) Divorce rates are high, but how do you know if these marriages were fixed on the basis of love or arranged marriage? and H4L has pointed out some good statistics worth looking at.

I personally feel there is nothing wrong in arranged marriages unless of course if it's forced. To each to this own!

RTH: LOL i actually have a relative who got married through shaadi.com. I guess it does work for some!😆

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DulceTentacion.

@DulceTentacion.

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: Arwen.
i think pre conceived notions about arranged marriages need to be re evaluated 😆 Especially in Western countries...
so what if i don't have the time to find love for myself, should I die alone and love less? (assuming off course, u do want to find some one to have a relationship with)..

one of my friends... her parents found the rishta for her .. she met the guy .. liked him enough to say yes.. had phone conversations once in while 😆 .. returned to her home town barely a week before wedding day (she worked in another city 😆) her parents had taken care of everything including the trousseau 😆 she is very happily married 😊 i like this .. hardly any of the effort and all of the perks 😆

😆😆 That made me laugh.

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Arwen11

@Arwen11

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: ParaDiseMb

😆😆 That made me laugh.

😆😆😆

But true as well 😆 If i don't have the time or inclination or even patience to find the diamonds amongst rhinestones, then why pressure myself into it? There is a large group of family and friends and neighborhood aunties who have made it their business to find that Mr Right so let them worry about it 😆😆

to me arranged marriages make perfect sense... u skip the angst and insecurity and jumps straight into lala land aka Vivaah 🤣🤣🤣

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415868

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Now thats what I am talking about.

+ 1

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605921

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#15

marrige he nhe hune chaiyeh 😆

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605921

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: blue-ice
shaadi karna zaroori hai kya??

exactly MY thoughts 😉

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kavyasam

@kavyasam

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: EroticGauravMad
😕 I am still shocked that in this day and age ARRANGED MARRIAGE still exists. There are so many limitations to this setup. Why marry someone you hardly know? My parents had an arranged marriage, but that was over 30 years ago. This generation doesn't believe in it. Sure, some people are still doing it. But, the divorce rate is so high. Nothing is guaranteed anymore in life. It either works or it doesn't. Does ARRANGED MARRIAGE still work? Let's get this out in the open.

👏

Yes it does. How can we be sure that love marriages work 100%? It has the same risk. atleast in arranged marriages there is a family backup if things go wrong, which may not be true in the case of love marriage if the couple have gone against the family. Arranged marriages are most of the time made only if the boy and girl agree , they have a lifetime to know about each other and that is what makes it more fun. There will be hiccups then that is the way it is. EIther way of getting married ultimately means there is someone exclusively for yourself and no matter who stays or not with you there is the spouse who is there next to you to take care. DIvorce happens in love marriages also.

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Angel-likeDevil

@Angel-likeDevil

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: EroticGauravMad
😕 I am still shocked that in this day and age ARRANGED MARRIAGE still exists. There are so many limitations to this setup. Why marry someone you hardly know? My parents had an arranged marriage, but that was over 30 years ago. This generation doesn't believe in it. Sure, some people are still doing it. But, the divorce rate is so high. Nothing is guaranteed anymore in life. It either works or it doesn't. Does ARRANGED MARRIAGE still work? Let's get this out in the open.

👏

Divorce rate is SO HIGH these days because the women are becoming economically independent unlike 30 years ago.

30 years ago, a woman had to depend on her hubby FOR LIFE. Numerous reasons like societal acceptance.. It was almost like a taboo during those days if there was a divorce. Plus, in a country like India, 30 years ago, the lady would be held responsible and looked down upon if the marriage didnt work. The parents too would believe that the lady should devote and CHANGE herself according to her husband's wish. And most importantly, the women werent economically independent, which isnt the case now.

Anyways, finally, I believe any marriage - arranged/love can work if both the guy and the lady are willing to commit themselves to each other and respect and love each other. My parents got married through an arranged thing, each one didnt know the other existed before their marriage...but now, they're so much in love 😳 Arranged marriage can work out if the two are loving and willing to accept each other the way they are.. Some people still get into arranged marriages because

1 - they want to . People want a companion for life!

2 - because of parents. But mostly it's because they want a companion :)

Edited by Angel-likeDevil - 13 years ago

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#19

this seems to be a hot topic here at DM. Maybe we should have a sticky topic on marriage/relationships which can cover all sorts of discussions.

select assortment of arrange marriage related topics. i think there are more. i searched the word "arrange"

Arranged marriage or love marriage uk-girl 3
b4 marriage something and after marriage! eijaz_anita4eva
Love marriage Vs Arrange marriage sarab
Arrange or love marriage...?? hazelgirl
Arrange Marriages dazzlingdesi
Debate: Arrange Marriage Vs Love Mariage kirtib
u prefer arrange marriages or love mehak_kapoor
Love marriage VS Arrange marriage ItIsMyLife
love marriage vs arrange marriage mspari
arrange marriage or love?? which 1 stays 4 longer? aparimita

Edited by King-Anu - 13 years ago

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Amara_B

@Amara_B

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#20

There's a big difference between forced marriages, and arranged marriages. Forced marriages should be stopped, but there's nothing wrong with arranged marriages - as long as they're done properly.

Also I agree with this:

Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil

Anyways, finally, I believe any marriage - arranged/love can work if both the guy and the lady are willing to commit themselves to each other and respect and love each other. My parents got married through an arranged thing, each one didnt know the other existed before their marriage...but now, they're so much in love 😳 Arranged marriage can work out if the two are loving and willing to accept each other the way they are.. Some people still get into arranged marriages because

1 - they want to . People want a companion for life!
2 - because of parents. But mostly it's because they want a companion :)

Edited by Amara_B - 13 years ago

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