Why Marry? - Page 3

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Gunjan

@gumsum

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

You say you can refute each argument, but choose not to. I do not think you can claim any logic to be absurd unless you actually refute it or prove it to be absurd.

On what basis can you claim that polygamy is more complex. I can say that going with the flow of emotions is simpler than limiting emotions to norms, rules, regulations and expectations.

Do not loving relationships exist without marriage? I am not only talking of romantic liasons here? Do you need to sanctify your friendships, your everyday relationships through some elaborate ritual or commitment? Are friends, siblings of lesser value because we do not make commitments? If we can have more than one friend, what is so wrong in loving more than one person? Cannot love trust, affection be there for many people? Why do you feel that if someone does not marry they are only looking for fun? Moreover, how does love, trust, affection etc systematically prove that monogamy makes more sense?

Polygamy is a complex idea. Going with the flow without thinking about the repurcussions is harmful to the society. This is what distinguishes us from animals that we live in a society, society which protects our right to be an individual without inflicting upon the rights of others. Polygame in my opinion gives more than required rights to a certain individual who in turn can snatch the rights of others with or without their approval. It complicates the jurisdiction as well along with the genetics.

marriage can not be put at par with friendships or the sibling or other blood relations as they do not involve evolution of human genes.

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kuhu.kuhu

@kuhu.kuhu

Sparkler

Posted: 16 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

"delhi" ka laddoo😆 That's a first. Yaar, itney burey bhi naheen hotey hamari dilli key laddoo. Bas pata hona chahiye ki kahan sey khareeda jaye.

Arre ...nahii...I have been hearing that phrase since my childhood ..must be some sweets which r very famous but too sweet once u have them ...hence the aftertaste doesn't give u pleasure😆 ....I love Delhi...so many childhood memories r attached to that place😛..My bro and bhabhi r there now ...so the connection is still there ..and who can forget Lajpatnagar, Defence col, Savdarjang Enclave, South Extension part 1 and 2 😉....

By the way ..here is another phrase ...Shaadi hai barbaadi ..😆

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200467

Suspended

Posted: 16 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: kuhu.kuhu

Arre ...nahii...I have been hearing that phrase since my childhood ..must be some sweets which r very famous but too sweet once u have them ...hence the aftertaste doesn't give u pleasure😆 ....I love Delhi...so many childhood memories r attached to that place😛..My bro and bhabhi r there now ...so the connection is still there ..and who can forget Lajpatnagar, Defence col, Savdarjang Enclave, South Extension part 1 and 2 😉....

By the way ..here is another phrase ...Shaadi hai barbaadi ..😆

These are the areas I grew up around. There are too many memories associated with thses places. I hope you have tried Bangla Sweet's chaat. They are in South Ex Part I market. Delhi's chaat and tikki are ultimate. I am drooling now😆

Why marry?

...hmmmm.......why should some of us suffer while others get to have all the freedom, fun and masti? Hence, it is mandatory that everyone takes a step towards this "barbadi"😆

Edited by Gauri_3 - 16 years ago

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Archana

@Girl_2007

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

"delhi" ka laddoo😆 That's a first. Yaar, itney burey bhi naheen hotey hamari dilli key laddoo. Bas pata hona chahiye ki kahan sey khareeda jaye.

🤣

impressive double meaning sentence 👏 and funny too 😛👏

My reply to the topic:

erm, sorry dear, i didnt read ur well-thinked long post, but my reply to the title question is, that we need to marry to have some sort of guarantee of that we will have a person always wid us 😃

In some cases, it turns to be that summer love wich gets bounded to u, in other cases a parents choice, in other cases ppl marry to whom they think they will have a solid roof above for sure..😛

if we can relationate, why wud we be alone? if we can talk, why wud we remain silent? 😛

Another theory:

theres a reply wich says "for kids" lmao, thats funny, at first view, but its true, infact.

Being, almost animals, living beings, we have to make sure that our species continues living, and well, think if we wud be as animals, having childs wid the first person that we see on each spring season.. 😲.. nop, wudnt make much sense.. for us

So, we choose someone to do that, erm, ensure the continuation of humans..

sorry if i didnt explain myself very well.. xD

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Believe

@-Believe-

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

#25

Kids not a issue....cos

always open😉

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Archana

@Girl_2007

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: Believe

Kids not a issue....cos

always open😉

😲 But still is better to know who r the parents of ur kids na?

So, the S bank is just in case of necessity and a second solution

Edited by Girl_2007 - 16 years ago

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Believe

@-Believe-

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: Girl_2007

😲 But still is better to know who r the parents of ur kids na? So, the S bank is just in case of necessity and a second solution--I mean those women who dont wanna marry,and without any relationship if they want any kid the Sbank will help na...😊😉

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Ajnabee

@*Woh Ajnabee*

Stunner

Posted: 16 years ago

#28

Marriage exists. Love exists as well. Because there's someone out there made for each one of us. Someone who we're destined to spend the rest of our lives with. I really do believe that. Love makes the world go round, whether its love between a guy and a girl, a parent and a child, or any two people. I don't think that we, as humans, would be able to function without knowing that there is someone we can turn to, someone who we can depend on.

Perhaps this is naive, but I do think that unconditional love exists as well. We just don't realize it soon enough. The biggest mistake is that we tend to look for people who will love us unconditionally, and forget to look for those who we love unconditionally.

The issue of polygamy is a complex one. It is hard for me to wrap my head around the concept. I'll get back to you on that one.

Also, I haven't read through the thread, so I'm not sure if my post follows the right direction or not.

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 16 years ago

#29

I would like to post an individual response to many posts here, but a general one is easier when a bit lazy.

Perhaps the topic heading is a misleader and I do not think I clarified myself clearly enough in the first post. The purpose of the topic as I intended is not to question the institution of marriage or advocate polygamous relationship. The intent is more to delve towards the understanding on why is human society nowadays constructed on monogamous relationships. Perhaps we may not like to admit it, but there are indeed many flaws and disadvantages in monogamous systems too. Everything has its pros and cos, and the point is to wonder if monogamy is really for the better. In what way has society and the individual genuinely benefited from monogamy? Its also to question that are these benefits real and tangible or do we perceive them as benefits because we are led to believe so?

To G-Unit and others who mentioned polygamy in ancient society.

Marriage in ancient times was a social institution, not a romantic relationship. People would marry to have heir, continue lineage and also expand family power and influence. Polygamy was more prevalent for a variety of reasons - male hierarchy in society, higher number of females due to men dying in war, many wives meant higher chances for children. It shifted to monogamous marriages simply because male-female ratio stabilized and there were more complexities of estates splitting between children of many wives and weakening it.

That was the marriage aspect in ancient times. Relationships were not exclusively limited to marriage. In many societies men would often be away for war or trade. It was not uncommon for men to hire prostitutes in their travels. Soldiers especially in Spartan and Persian armies (which by the way were the deadliest) would actually have very intimate relationships with each other. Women were not excluded or censured from relationships. Several noblewomen would have relationships with their slaves while husbands were away. In fact a lot of ancient laws have a lot of details on classification and rights of slave children both progeny of noblemen born to female slaves or sons of male slaves born to noblewomen. Greek philosophers often distinguish between physical love and intellectual love. Marriage was to produce children, create family ties and allies. People were encouraged to seek other relationships that fulfilled them completely.

So that being said ancient societies can be described as polyamorous. Just wanted to touch on that aspect of how despite marriage people in ancient times kept many relationships not just sexual, but intimate in other aspects as well.

More towards the topic

In general why is monogamous relationship as in just one and only one person for the rest of your life better or more acceptable than otherwise?

When someone engages in a long term, relationship why is that so?

When you speak of love, unconditional love and spending the rest of your life with someone you love - why is that, why do you believe that, why do you feel thats the best way, what benefit does it give you and society in general? What purpose does it really serve? Why do you believe in love?

Why do you marry? Is it because you want the security of that person committed to you formally? In all honesty - is it really about celebrating unconditional love or because you want a sense of security in life?

If love is unconditional - why is there a condition that you never can be with someone else. If someone in a marriage feels that they are lacking something and needs some interaction outside marriage - what is so wrong if they follow it. If you are not able to give someone something either emotionally, physically, romantically, intellectually what is so wrong if they get it from somewhere else once in a while? What is so wrong in hedonism if everyone had an equal opportunity at it - men and women.

More thoughts later.

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Gunjan

@gumsum

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

#30

Originally posted by: return_to_hades
I would like to post an individual response to many posts here, but a general one is easier when a bit lazy.

As I am online, I will attempt answering this ( mind it, not for the purpose of debate but just outlining my thoughts)

More towards the topic

In general why is monogamous relationship as in just one and only one person for the rest of your life better or more acceptable than otherwise?

Monogamous is more about being with one and not exactly only one for the rest of your life. It is more about letting the previous person go when you decide to engage with a new one.

When someone engages in a long term, relationship why is that so?

When you get into a relationship you can not predict if it is going to be long-term, only time will tell. A commitment allows you to give it sometime if there are any misunderstandings but again it is up to an individual how much time they want to give.

When you speak of love, unconditional love and spending the rest of your life with someone you love - why is that, why do you believe that, why do you feel thats the best way, what benefit does it give you and society in general? What purpose does it really serve? Why do you believe in love?

Unconditional love is not forced, it just comes from within over time. there is no time to analyze other options, what and why type of questions then 😊.

Why do you marry? Is it because you want the security of that person committed to you formally? In all honesty - is it really about celebrating unconditional love or because you want a sense of security in life?

You marry because you want to disclose to the entire world that you are sincerely ready to get into a relationship and you would like to celebrate that moment.

If love is unconditional - why is there a condition that you never can be with someone else. If someone in a marriage feels that they are lacking something and needs some interaction outside marriage - what is so wrong if they follow it. If you are not able to give someone something either emotionally, physically, romantically, intellectually what is so wrong if they get it from somewhere else once in a while? What is so wrong in hedonism if everyone had an equal opportunity at it - men and women.

unconditional love never puts a condition on the other person that they can not be with someone else. And sometimes unconditional love is not obligated to any marital contract. A few people spend their lives loving someone whom they couldn't marry. In a marriage if you love someone unconditionally and your partner does not in return and would like to explore other avenues for sexual gratification, it is important for you to let him\her move on. Getting something emotionally and intellectuallly is different then getting something physically.

More thoughts later.

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