She obviously didn't mean it.
He knew one thing for sure. She had been with him since such a long time. Inspite of numerous break ups, they were together, madly, deeply in love, and she had matured as a person. She very well knew the consequences of being engaged to him. It was a promise from her to him, a promise for lifetime which was not supposed to be broken, no matter what. After knowing everything about the meaning of the ring, there was no way she could think of breaking up with him.
He knew she was angry, pissed off. More than him, she was angry at his orthodox family. He couldn't help it, and he couldn't deny that the way she was being treated by his family, she was bound to get hurt. He understood it. He wanted to support her. Sometime back, he had actually went out of the way to support Sharon in front of his bua, but she didn't believe it. She thought he wasn't supporting her. He was practically taking his family's side all the time!! But that was not the truth. She was a part of him, and everytime something hurt or disgusted her, it hurt him more. He could feel her pain and he could see how much trouble she had to undergo to fulfill his family's demands. Moreover , his family's temporary stay was slowly becoming permanent, so there was no probable end to her torture. He felt sorry for the poor girl. She had tolerated enough. No doubt. And he expected his family to bend a bit too, and come out of their 18th century land of traditions.
He didn't say anything, but two words " Break up?"
Yes, she was angry. She had matured a lot, but she shouldn't have gone out of the way and spoken of their break up. He knew she wanted time. He could give her all the time she needed, but break up for him was not an option. Relationships weren't supposed to broken so easily. It took a great deal of time for him to make her love him, and then it took equally large time for her to make him realize that she actually loved him, and now here she was, standing in front of him and talking of their break up. Did she really know what she was speaking ?
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Did she really know what she was speaking ? A teary eyed Sharon looked at Swayam who looked equally upset by her words and the gross situation they were in. What had she just said ? No, she loved her. She knew for a fact that his bua or grandmother couldn't break their relationship. Their relation was not so weak that it could be broken by the traditions his relatives followed.
She didn't mean it. Yes, she was irritated by the fact that his family was a bunch of conventional old people who were keen to put her down. Yes, it irked her when she realized that Swayam couldn't speak a word against them or suppor t her in front of his family. Yes, everything was extremely confusing and she had actually decided to do anything that would make them love her to bits but she just couldn't do it anymore. His family, was making her do so many things just because she was their daughter in law. Basically, they were asking her to change, and the strong headed girl as she was, she didn't believe in changing herself, FOR ANYONE. She didn't change herself for Swayam, Swayam had accepted her the way she was, and she expected his family to do the same. They had a problem with her dance, with her profession, her dressing sense, her minimal knowledge about household chores. They had a problem with everything! Was it so difficult to live in the 21st century and not accept a girl who was equally modernized ?
No, she couldn't change herself. She just couldn't change herself. She had bent enough for his family, and she NEEDED him to convince his family to accept her the way she was. She trusted Swayam, loved him and he trusted her, loved her and accepted her the way he was. What more was needed ? Moreover, his father approved of her, so she didn't see why she had to even bother about his bua's opinions!
But break up? Was she right in just breaking their engagement this time ? No, she couldn't break up with him. She couldn't let their relation break just because of his family, but she needed time. She needed time to sort herself and calm herself down. She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to be alone. More than anything else, the very fact that he hadn't supported her in front of his family hurt her. He hadn't supported the right argument! She thought he could understand her very well... but why couldn't he see that she was feeling burdened under the thousand restrictions his family was imposing on her? She felt unhappy.
Her eyes met his. They conveyed so many unspoken emotions. She felt like Swayam was telling her not to break up with him... because break up had never been a solution for any of their problems. They both loved each other, so why the break up ?
She didn't want to break up with him, and she tried conveying the same to him. She just needed a bit more understanding from his side. She needed him to tell his family that they had to accept her the way she was... She had self respect.. And everything had a limit. She couldn't go to any extent just to make his family happy. That was so not Sharon.
He looked down as if he was trying to apologize. As her boyfriend, he never had any intention to make her feel sad about anything. And here he was, standing in front of him, asking her to give their relationship another chance. He loved her so much, that he could never see her dejected due to him, or his family. He knew what she was thinking. Her face was like an open book and she had never been good in hiding her feelings from him. He could read exactly what she was thinking.
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" I don't want to talk Swayam." She said, dejected and turned around, away from him, as silent tears trickled down her cheeks.
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He got the hint. No, she didn't want a break up. She loved him. Sharon was not someone who would break a relationship so easily, and that too due to his family. No, she was going to be alright. She just needed time. Without further ado, he slowly left her room planning to talk to his family, soon.
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She turned back to see the door of her room shut. He had shut it. It seemed as if he had shut the doors for her to enter back into his life too... Wait, what was she thinking ? Why would Swayam do that ?
Did he really think she had broken up with him? She thought he understood her well enough to realize that her anger was at its peak level then. She had promised to herself about never breaking up again... Then why would he think that she would actually end their relation?
No Sharon. She reminded herself. Don't think too much Sharon. He is your boyfriend, and he understands you more than you understand yourself.
She hoped so. She in no way wanted to break up with him. She couldn't live without him and she didn't want him to misunderstand her words spoken in an impulsive way! But she didn't want to get married to a guy in a completely orthodox and irritating family!
She didn't know what was important for her. She couldn't make out what her priorities were exactly. On one hand, she needed Swayam for her mere existence, and on the other hand, she wanted his family members to actually give her the respect , if not love, she deserved.
No doubt, her self respect was important, but Swayam was the one who had taught her about love. He was the one who had actually made her realize what love was! She loved him, only him... And she had thought of herself in the future, only with him. She believed they were meant to be.
She just couldn't make out what she wanted to do. Was her self respect more important to her than love? It was not like she could lose Swayam and then all of a sudden someone else would come who would have a tolerable family unlike Swayam's and be her prince charming! That option was a big no for her for she LOVED Swayam because of who and how he was. He was perfect for her. He cared for her, he loved her, but his family was exactly the opposite! So orthodox and conservative!! His love was important to her, but so was respect! She didn't know what to do and those tears couldn't stop themselves. How difficult was the situation?
Few days back, they had the perfect proposal. She had imagined her future with him to be beautiful. Their first kiss had been so special, their misunderstandings, yet a realization that they couldn't stay without each other. Each and every moment they had shared, every word that he had spoken, everything had been so special to her. No one could make her feel so special. He was perfect. She saw her future only with him.
She looked at the engagement ring she was wearing and slowly took it out, keeping it in a box, where she knew it would be safe.
She couldn't let herself get weak because of his relatives. She had to be strong, for him, for their love.
Please don't hit me for the ending! I might as well consider continuing this one.. but not soon! Maybe later!!! Depends on the feedback!!
So, how was it ? If you liked it, do like this post and do leave your feedback! For this one, jootes are welcome 😆
-Mihika!
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