Meet Tongue-in-Cheek Big B!

By Subhash K Jha

"Gosh! Two hits on one Friday….... Hadn't thought of that.Now that you bring it up, I feel delighted. When a film succeeds several thoughts run through your mind:

1. "I hope other producer directors are taking note, to give me another job."

2. "Respond..respond to the congratulatory greetings that come via sms.And remain calm and humble.It may all change drastically by the time the next release comes by."

3. "Has the media noticed it?? I wish they would…..must intensify the search in papers, channels, websites, trade journals.Should one let the few friendly journalists subtly be told?? Or would it destroy the achievement? What if they disagree? Damn,this is such a tough situation!!"

4. "I hope I am walking correctly in public? Head not too high..,In fact push it down further than before ! Mustn't give the impression I am gloating. "

5. "Tone down the sartorial conceit, you idiot! Nothing distinctive and flashy! They'll think he's showing off!! Be humble..humble..humble."

6. "Chenni Kum producer Sunil Manchanda and Balki pushing me to do promotional TV and press, to drive in the marketing further and talk of the success.Hell !! How does one do that ? Wish I could just duck this somehow.

So difficult to answer the same questions with the same answers to 45 different channels. Its a challenge for any actor!! Ok..ok..calm down, calm down.I'll do this one standing, this one sitting on a bench, another with my clothes changed.

Oh lord, forgotten which shirt I wore for the previous electronic press meet.Musn't repeat it…..They'll make fun of it.Ok, got it..got it..must earmark a separate wardrobe for interviews only.

Tag the dresses..jeans and leather jacket, channel X………. blue top, channel Y... Damn I'm brilliant! Er..er..accessories..dark glasses..yeah..they look cool..good good..will hide the puffed eyes and the grey on the eyebrows.

In fact isn't this from Cheeni Kum? Fantastic! I'll wear the 'kool Versace glasses' from the film.There'll be a connect!! Ok..I'm all set!!

7. "Keep calling Balki and Sunil.They have all the figures and the reactions from the theaters.They smiling ? Tone of their voice?… Ok,it's sounding excited enough...Good! What about calls coming in? Who's that from? who's calling? Yashji? Yash Chopra?

Give me, give me give me the line quickly.. Ji Yashji..ji..ji..ji.Thank you,doing very good? thank you Yashji.All your good wishes... phew ! That was Yash Chopra..well..he would know.. What a relief !"

8. "Pray..pray..pray...just pray.."

So..that takes care of one film.

Two in one week on the same Friday!!??

No..this can't be happening to me.I'm not supposed to be here. In this realm. I'm 65.Darn it!! But its Shootout …..okaaay. That's not my film. I'm just another name in the credits.

Shootout belongs to Sunju and Vivek and Suniel and Tushar and Arbaaz and Apu Lakhia and Sanjay Gupta and all the other wonderful performers.Leave me out of this, pleeeease !!

I'm just happy with Cheeni Kum, thank you.