Grin and bear it
When did TV lose its sense of humour?
Those of you who could tear yourselves away from Sachin TV on the evening Tendulkar's 175 occupied total screen space on the news and Neo Sports, may be interested to learn that God is coming. Aaj Tak said so. Unfortunately, it didn't know the exact time of arrival. Aaj Tak and at least one other Hindi news channel, had sighted UFOs over Moscow, too. Perhaps it was God?
Aishwarya Rai appeared like a goddess on a special CNN-IBN programme to celebrate her birthday. Rajeev Masand didn't kneel before her but he did gaze at her with worshipful eyes as he asked her questions on behalf of viewers who had written in. Aishwarya answered all the questions with cool condescension even when she didn't. Answer.Would she make a film with SRK? "I don't have an answer". The questions were pretty silly and baffling: had she ever been told that she was not beautiful (not really); could she control her giggle (not really); would she consider joining politics (not really). Surprisingly, there was just one question about her husband, that too rather childish: who is more mature, you or Abhishek? We take turns, she said, as if marriage was a game of Ludo and went onto to explain that the two of them were child-woman and child-man. Wonder, do they call each other 'Baby'?
Maybe we'll send that question for the next birthday bash which ended with a cake-cutting ceremony and a friendly but distant wave of the hand. Here's the thing with Aishwarya: although she appears friendly and forthcoming, you always feel she is someone you don't really know even remotely.
Priyanka Chopra visited the sets of the reality show, Big Switch (Bindass) and seemed much more approachable. She was there to introduce the underprivileged children to the privileged ones; the two will be living together to make what they can of each other. The well-heeled kids are at a distinct disadvantage: it's easier to get used to sleeping in a room with an AC than it is to a room with mosquitoes. Chopra came bearing gifts for the poor kids: a guitar, mobile phone, linen, jeans. Rather condescending, don't you think?
So far the rich brats have been bearing up rather well in the company of Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Naa star Genelia. They are likable and freely admitted their shortcomings when confronted with a situation they had never imagined, let alone lived. If you have always sat on a throne it is not easy to squat — so think of their distress when confronted with an Indian-style toilet!
Meanwhile, Bharti, the better half of Bhaskar, was stunned for find herself confronting not one but two prospective bridegrooms (Bhaskar Bharti, Sony). Choosing truth over marriage, she finds nobody willing to believe her when she reveals that she is a man who rejected a woman and paid for it by becoming a woman in order to experience what it is like to be female. This is all very well; what is positively disastrous is that a show, which started out as a comedy, has become a soap. Bharti's begun to weep like a monsoon shower, the camera to swirl around her like a twister and the music to boom like a 21-gun salute. Question: Why can't a comedy remain a comedy? Answer: because Pappu can't laugh saala, at jokes. Spring tears and see him and the rest of us smile as broadly as Aishwarya during her interview.
Don't believe it? Peek into the Bigg Boss (Colors) house and judge for yourself. When the inmates stop criticising whoever is beyond earshot, they either cry (the women) or abuse (the men), in particular Vindoo Dara Singh whose every second utterance has to be deleted because it's objectionable... Poor old Raju Srivastava lives off the laughter of others and is straining to amuse the contestants, to get them to see the lighter side of their predicament. That he doesn't always succeed is because since 2000 and the K bahus, TV entertainment has been reduced to tears.
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