Mere Raqeeb - AdiYa - Part 3 - Page 2 - Page 2

He stared at her wedding ring. Why was she wearing it? Didn't she say it meant nothing to her? Didn't she accuse him of being an opportunist? so why did she still wear it? He could ask himself too, why was the silver band on his still on his finger? Why did he feel like he owed her his loyalty when there was nothing left between them except what was on legal documents.

They weren't even the same people anymore, at least not her. A lifetime ago she couldn't handle silence, but now he could see that she found solace in silence. They had so much to say, but for him, words held no meaning anymore. He could never make her believe his words ten years ago and he wasn't sure if anything had changed or if it even was worth it to open the old wounds.

"How is Yash?" Her quiet voice had hesitance filled in it.

The kind of pain that burned through his body when she said his name, she might as well had taken a piece of broken glass and shoved it in his already wounded heart.

"I hope he is lying dead somewhere." He spat through his gritted teeth. "But I'm sure all your prayers are keeping him well alive." There was so much bitterness in his words that he was sure she could taste the poison of his anger on her own tongue. Unspoken allegations and accusations were laced in his few words.

"I think it's getting late. I should get going." She stood abruptly and pulled her handbag up.

"You were good at abandoning anyways." He hissed at her angrily. After all this time why did he want her to fight him?

"It's not like you were any good at loving anyone anyways."

Her words held so much truth that it inflicted pain all the way on his soul. She accused him of the truth that he had been denying all his life. Her words wrecked such torture on him that he felt as if time just took itself and turned ten years back. When she believed a fable that was weaved by others and he didn't bother convincing otherwise. Yet again he let her believe that he wasn't capable of something called love.

o o o o o

His nights for past ten years were full of isolation, devoid of anything but the thoughts of death always lurking two steps behind him. Now that her face flashed in front of him again, the calmness of isolation was taken from him and replaced with restless thoughts.

He couldn't forget the way she said his name with so much ease and stillness. Yash. He took the paperweight and threw it across the room as it hit the mirror of his dressing table and turned into a million shattered pieces just like he was. useless shattered piece. How was she so in peace with him? When he was the culprit of how destroyed each and every one of them were.

He stared at himself in the broken pieces of the mirror and a sad chuckle left his closing throat. She was also right about him though. Her accusations of him being heartless. She was right though, he couldn't even make peace with himself so how could he ever love another person. All that was true for everyone in his life except for one person. Except for her.

How could she know, it was her who ruined him for any other woman. That he once fell in love with her recklessly even when she was forbidden for him. That once he also had dared to live when she painted him in her own heartwarming bright colors.

But it was all just a deception of fate and time. All this cost him his fragile and vulnerable heart. He had broken his own her for daring to fall in love with her. Fate had played so ruthlessly with him. How could he tell her that he couldn't watch her falling in love with someone else?

That he couldn't fight for her because he knew she couldn't love him because he was worthless.