Posted:
Hi!
I am usually a silent reader and therefore not one to post easily. However, reading posts in this forum has raised some questions in my mind: why are some of us hoping Adi-Pooja did not have a physical relationship while Pooja was in an extramarital affair with Yash? It came up regarding the matter of her pregnancy,but pregnancy is not the only indicator of physical intimacy between people.She could be pregnant with Yash's child all the while leading a healthy married life with Adi and she could be pregnant with Adi's child despite also being physically intimate with Yash. Is it practical to assume that if Pooja and Yash were having an affair for a year, all this time they had not been sleeping with their spouses? Do you think in that case their spouses would not have noticed something was wrong in their relationship? From the shock that both Adi and Zoya received from the knowledge that their spouses were likely involved in an affair, it does not look like anything was wrong with their marriage because they never suspected anything was wrong. A married couple of this age not sleeping together for a month is not normal and in the event it happens,either one or both would suspect that their marriage is on the rocks and start doing something about it and here were have indications that Yash and Pooja have been in a relationship for quite a while, so their not being physically intimate with their spouses all this while seems too far-fetched even for telly world.
Secondly, extramarital affair itself is a very disgusting thing because it implies that you are emotionally and most likely physically tied with more than one individual. So what difference does it make if Pooja and Yash were sleeping with their respective partners or not? What would it show or prove? Would it make it less disgusting? Why? Because we have the misplaced notion of physical disloyalty being greater than emotional disloyalty? It doesn't matter whether Pooja or Yash were sleeping with each other or not if they emotionally committed to each other: they were anyways cheating on their partners.
However, this is telly world, so anything is possible. In this land, couples go months and years after marriage without consummation so it won't be a big surprise if Pooja didn't sleep with Adi for a year and Yash didn't sleep with Zoya for a year and it was the most natural thing in the world for them. With regards to exploring sex within marriage, I find indian television quite strange really. Being married for for years myself, having friends,colleagues and family members to talk to openly about intimate relationships, I have yet to come across one where two normal sexually healthy adults did not have sex in let's say some three-four months through their marriage and I have yet to come across a couple who did not sleep with each other for months except for situations related to pregnancy and child birth. A cousin of mine found out her husband was having an extramarital affair because they had not been intimate in four months and when she tried to talk about it he started becoming cozy. She realized it was a forced attempt on his part, started investigating and found out he was involved with someone else! A friend was married against her will by her parents, she wanted some space and her husband being the gentleman he is gave her that space and it was within two months of marriage that she accepted him and her marriage and happily embarked on her conjugal journey. For me, that is normal. Two healthy, matured adults staying under one roof, sharing a bed, planning on being together for the rest of their lives whether they have been in an arranged or love marriage, once comfortable with each other, would want to be physically intimate. Sex is a normal part of human interaction like food and breathing. In order to avoid chaos surrounding it, man formed society and made some rules surrounding it, monogamy being one such rule. That doesn't mean that the basic need has been diminished altogether and it is normal for a man and woman in a socially sanctioned relationship to go on for days, months and years without wanting to fulfill one of the most basic needs of mankind. It is important to highlight consensuality and comfort of both the parties involved but to show that married couples in their 20s, 30s or 40s go months without having sex without any specific reason known to both such as pregnancy or illness and nothing is wrong with it is making it unbelievably unrealistic.
My marriage is that of love so I have had flowers and chocolates and proposals which led to my marriage and till date I often tell my friends I don't understand how people can marry without love, but that is something that I say just because. Arranged marriages are also beautiful. Any marriage is beautiful. There does not need to be I love you' and saving lives of each other and fighting against the world and first anniversary knocking on the door before a married couple become physically intimate. Physical intimacy is not the goal of anything and love is not a means to that goal as indian television portrays. Physical intimacy is part of the whole process of commitment to a person and to the marriage.
I am usually a silent reader and therefore not one to post easily. However, reading posts in this forum has raised some questions in my mind: why are some of us hoping Adi-Pooja did not have a physical relationship while Pooja was in an extramarital affair with Yash? It came up regarding the matter of her pregnancy,but pregnancy is not the only indicator of physical intimacy between people.She could be pregnant with Yash's child all the while leading a healthy married life with Adi and she could be pregnant with Adi's child despite also being physically intimate with Yash. Is it practical to assume that if Pooja and Yash were having an affair for a year, all this time they had not been sleeping with their spouses? Do you think in that case their spouses would not have noticed something was wrong in their relationship? From the shock that both Adi and Zoya received from the knowledge that their spouses were likely involved in an affair, it does not look like anything was wrong with their marriage because they never suspected anything was wrong. A married couple of this age not sleeping together for a month is not normal and in the event it happens,either one or both would suspect that their marriage is on the rocks and start doing something about it and here were have indications that Yash and Pooja have been in a relationship for quite a while, so their not being physically intimate with their spouses all this while seems too far-fetched even for telly world.
Secondly, extramarital affair itself is a very disgusting thing because it implies that you are emotionally and most likely physically tied with more than one individual. So what difference does it make if Pooja and Yash were sleeping with their respective partners or not? What would it show or prove? Would it make it less disgusting? Why? Because we have the misplaced notion of physical disloyalty being greater than emotional disloyalty? It doesn't matter whether Pooja or Yash were sleeping with each other or not if they emotionally committed to each other: they were anyways cheating on their partners.
However, this is telly world, so anything is possible. In this land, couples go months and years after marriage without consummation so it won't be a big surprise if Pooja didn't sleep with Adi for a year and Yash didn't sleep with Zoya for a year and it was the most natural thing in the world for them. With regards to exploring sex within marriage, I find indian television quite strange really. Being married for for years myself, having friends,colleagues and family members to talk to openly about intimate relationships, I have yet to come across one where two normal sexually healthy adults did not have sex in let's say some three-four months through their marriage and I have yet to come across a couple who did not sleep with each other for months except for situations related to pregnancy and child birth. A cousin of mine found out her husband was having an extramarital affair because they had not been intimate in four months and when she tried to talk about it he started becoming cozy. She realized it was a forced attempt on his part, started investigating and found out he was involved with someone else! A friend was married against her will by her parents, she wanted some space and her husband being the gentleman he is gave her that space and it was within two months of marriage that she accepted him and her marriage and happily embarked on her conjugal journey. For me, that is normal. Two healthy, matured adults staying under one roof, sharing a bed, planning on being together for the rest of their lives whether they have been in an arranged or love marriage, once comfortable with each other, would want to be physically intimate. Sex is a normal part of human interaction like food and breathing. In order to avoid chaos surrounding it, man formed society and made some rules surrounding it, monogamy being one such rule. That doesn't mean that the basic need has been diminished altogether and it is normal for a man and woman in a socially sanctioned relationship to go on for days, months and years without wanting to fulfill one of the most basic needs of mankind. It is important to highlight consensuality and comfort of both the parties involved but to show that married couples in their 20s, 30s or 40s go months without having sex without any specific reason known to both such as pregnancy or illness and nothing is wrong with it is making it unbelievably unrealistic.
My marriage is that of love so I have had flowers and chocolates and proposals which led to my marriage and till date I often tell my friends I don't understand how people can marry without love, but that is something that I say just because. Arranged marriages are also beautiful. Any marriage is beautiful. There does not need to be I love you' and saving lives of each other and fighting against the world and first anniversary knocking on the door before a married couple become physically intimate. Physical intimacy is not the goal of anything and love is not a means to that goal as indian television portrays. Physical intimacy is part of the whole process of commitment to a person and to the marriage.
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Kumkum Bhagya
