Posted:
I had some "dilemmas" that were plaguing me. I want to thank Balika Vadhu for coming into my life without my even realizing it - all the answers have come to me. I feel that I have been shaping my own character while watching the show.
The first was that I was going to do something that was legally correct -- but I began to see that what was legally correct was not necessarily morally correct or right. I thank J and G's marriage and all the discussions on this marriage about legal vs. moral for helpint me realize that. I am now taking the morally correct position and feel really good about it. (which my conscience was telling me anyway, but the discussions here helped me to crystallize the hazy fog in my mind).
Second, I was going to fill out a form (not court or legal) that would omit some information because I wasn't sure that it was relevant or not -- and why to unnecessarily bring up something that may not be relevant -- it will just create additional hassles and delays. But after seeing Jagya's omission on the court document, that he had a child marriage, because he thought that child marriage was illegal anyway - and the resultant problems that it has caused for Gauri etc. -- I just decided to write the information on the form anyway and deal with any delays and hassles it creates. 😆😆😆😆. If Jagya instead of writing he was single had just wrtten "had a child marriage which is invalid", I am sure the court guy would not have given him a marriage certificate at all even with the bribe. He would have told Jagya that the child marriage indeed was valid. Jagya in his own 'all-knowing, arrogant city bred attitude' just assumed that the child marriage was invalid and decided not to write it. Thereby creating all these problems for Gauri now as doosri aurat.
Third, I was going to not tell some one something because I knew the outcome would be having to hear a 'firm NO. so what was the point of telling? so I decided just to proceed. Much like Jagya who lied because he knew that Gauri would never be accepted in his household as his wife, so he did not discuss the possibilities of a divorce with anandi with anyone and just kept on having his romance by himself.
Today, I told the person something because I have a responsibility to tell the person ... not really based on whether the outcome will be favourable to me or not. I like the fact that I did this. The truth set me free. I still haven't got a response back. But if I have to defy the person because they say no, I will truthfully say "This is extremely important to me and I have to do this for myself anyway"... and defy the person to their face, rather than avoiding the topic and doing it behind their back.
Fourth, regardless of how much I hate Gauri's current character (as wife post-marriage), I really, really appreciate the fact that she shows unconditional love to her parents who have really just sold her in childhood and made her feel that she is a burden. She just speaks of them with so much compassion and unconditional love.
I on the otherhand, have had phenomenal parents which 99.9% of people in India may not have had, who did everything for me and stretched themselves for my welfare. Unfortunately, a couple of decisions they took with good intentions really went askew/awry and I started criticizing them and blaming them.
Yesterday, I just decided to be like Gauri - to love parents unconditionally and to just forget about anything they had "done" to me because it is nothing at all ... compared to what Gauris parents did to her. Such silly trivial issues I had. So, I brought my mother a sari and my dad a nice gift and hugged and kissed them -- both of them were really happy that I was no longer mad at them.
They were quite unhappy with all my accusations and I just let the entire past go.
God Bless Gauri for giving me this eye-opening revelation of what unconditional love means!!
I love Balika vadhu and I love how all my dilemmas have been resolved through watching this J-G marriage and love affair. I now find my character to be so much better than it was. I really have been able to clarify values and my own stand and to become a person of integrity and truth. And I love myself even more for it. A new found sense of self-respect in my own eyes.
Just wanted to share. Thank you for taking the time to read.
Pati Patni Aur Panga
