Arakshi SS : Amour Fou - 16+ *Ch 6 - page 18* I PM SENT I - Page 13

Originally posted by: _Nikita_

Awwwsssmmm Update
Loved It
Sakshi share her pain with her father but he couldn't help her
Thank god Asha save Sakshi but in return she get hurt badly
Loved the way you portrayed Arjun's mind state glad that he realized what he did to Sakshi
Wonderfully Written
Continue Soon
Waiting eagerly for next part

Originally posted by: TereLiyeMINU

That was surely a breeze change of characters and their tiny winy mindsets.Surely a welcoming change.The dialogues have been very powerfully executed.Loved the way how every character have got their own space in the story.From two aliens in Indian Desert to beaten and bruished Asha ...every one have garbed out their own slots.The updates brought the ugly facades of the hypocrite society to fore once more.👏👏 The writing and delivery are simply sterling.

Thanks for the pm and Keep Writing with unabated spirits.😊

Originally posted by: .KupKakes

So, I found the time to read it at last, and I absolutely loved it! Another exceptional representation of human tendencies, emotions and vulnerabilities. Everything was as realistic and believable as ever, and it was beautiful how you got your characters to convey your social criticism, message and vision through their seemingly simple dialogues.

Aaahhh... can I say that after reading your comment I feel that whatever handwork I've put in writing Amour Fou has brought its rewards! I mean, I am so happy, moved, overjoyed and overwhelmed by your response. I mean I didn't even remotely ask you to create any analysis on what I am writing but you... you have taken so much of your time to write this one here - thank you, I can't tell how grateful I am to you for that.

This was an extremely loaded update, with a lot more depth than meets the eye. Most dialogues carry the weight of highly developed ideas, and you have utilized your skill as a writer to make the dialogues your characters, especially Sakshi, speak not seem high-flowing, unreal and clear signs of your propaganda. Any story that is meant as a social critique must always keep its themes as undertones. If all the messages are overt and blatant, the very purpose of using fiction to convey a social message is defeated. This is a very common pitfall in many works of a similar kind, and I am so glad that you have skilfully maneuvered Amour Fou away from this, and managed to keep your message subtle yet powerful.

That's true, these updates were one of my toughest ones, in fact it's becoming tougher as I proceed. I can't thank you enough for critiquing my work, really. I try, honestly, to only let the narrative speak about the social themes - even though the advocate in me tries to do the opposite 😆 But I am glad it has paid off, really. Thank you.

The dialogues are extremely well written, and the ideas you expostulate and the manner in which you do that is commendable. This update takes the plot much further, and paints a more vivid picture of most of the characters, and also introduces us to each of their nuances. I trust you to do a great job of the rest of the story, yet I will say this. Be extremely careful not to stereotype any of your characters. You have done a great job so far in keeping most in the grey, but continue to do so.

The dialogues used in Amour Fou are very close to my heart and I am so overjoyed to know that that works out in the story. Yes, thank you very much for your WARNING, because I do know that most of the characters fit into the typical stereotype we have in our minds. Thanks to this, i'll remind you that I have a little passage for all of them to write out who they exactly are - at this moment, most of the characters with the exception of the protagonists are important props to this story... but a time will come when they will get their space as characters - thanks for reminding me!

You might ignore detailing a few characters, considering them to be minor ones, and fall back into a stereotypical, predictable mould for them, but then it is these very minor characters that differentiate a good story from a great one. How fresh an outlook you are able to bring to every aspect of the story will be your real test. Refrain, therefore, from falling into the comfortable, convenient, outsider's view of Indian societal structures and traditions, however tempting it may be to do so.

Don't worry, they'll have their space soon.

Narrating from a third-person omniscient point of view is not about referring to all characters as he and she; it is much more - a philosophy - and a responsibility you commission to yourself when you adopt that narrating style, of doing justice to every character, however minor or insignificant they may seem. Even a person you do not like and ideologically differ from is original and an individual - it is an extremely human tendency to group people, especially those whom you do not like, into very broad generic types, and interpret all their tendencies and actions through this generic lens you have very conveniently adopted.

As an individual or as a writer of a first person narrative, you can be forgiven for this. You are only stating your own point of view and nobody has the right to question it. But the role of an omniscient narrator is one a human being assumes in order to 'play God' as it were, to attempt to give an aerial view, if you get what I mean by my metaphor, of the world, of at least a few inhabitants of the world, an expression of how stifling an experience it is to not be able to comprehend and understand fully, entirely, the workings of any other mind except your own, of the limitations of the human mind and consequently existence due to its inability to gauge and predict emotions and reactions in any other, of the underlying desire for power, absolute power in every human mind, to command total control over all others, or at least those of our fellow beings who immediately affect our daily existence, and I want you, as your friend, admirer and well-wisher, to do justice to this role you have chosen for yourself.

Point taken dear friend!

The story you have sought to tell is one of great moment and importance and it shall be one of my greatest pleasures to see it told to the utmost of its potential, which you have so carefully gauged in your vision for this story. Never choose the easy path is all I have endeavoured to say. Being the writer par excellence that you are, every bit of effort you put in to enhance each character a little bit shall change the final product, to its advantage, beyond recognition.

I am both, embarrassed and flattered by the bar you have set for me, thank you!

I shall not summarize this update or delve into the delightful details, for I do not think I can do justice to the details. They are extremely well done, and quite perfect as they are. Sakshi's scene with her father broke my heart - she has lost her innocence. Arjun has made considerable progress as an individual, and the fact that he allowed himself to be so readily persuaded by Daniel and Robert, shows that he is not corrupt within. It is only his hardened exterior which makes him seem so, but within he is as much or even more of a child than Sakshi.

Thank you so much for NOT summarizing, I often fear that people fail to understand or I am a bad narrator when I read summaries of the update... feeling that I may have not been able to touch people with the messages I wanted to spread. I have underlined, italicized and bolded the line which you caught - that was a very, very subtle hint about the character of Arjun and I am shocked to see that you picked that up! Really, kudos for sensing that!

I will be waiting to see how Arjun further progresses in his journey, and I wait with bated breath for Sakshi's reactions. Will she be able to trust him anymore, is the question. I will end by quoting a line which is according to me the most perfect and poignant line of the story so far. You outdid yourself with this one, girl!

And she had always been afraid of heights.


One hint is that Arjun will go in ups and downs as a character, he won't have a straight, positive growth in his graph. You'll hate and love him :) And as far as Sakshi is concerned, her growth will be slower - but it will be prominent. And for that line... *big hugs and thank you* for loving it!

Love,

I hope you love the next chapter!

Originally posted by: utsha

Ah! See who's here. Hi! Shree,its me back with my appreciative mind and plenty of love for u. He he. I'm really sorry for being this late though.

First of all, kindly accept this from me.👏 This was for showing enough courage by selecting such a topic.

Utshaaa!!!! Am I not flad to see you here! Thank you so much for your comment btw, it really boosted me and pushed me to write another update for AF!

Now few words about this brain child of urs.

Substantial Topic.

Mellifluous writing skills.

Carefully picked words.

Bold, but at the same time so subtle.

Powerful delivery of dialogues.

Superb portrayal of emotions at large, be it pain, agony, innocence, everything.

Extremely precise execution of idea to stir up the reader's mind, rather to parayse the minds with anguish and shame of being a part of THIS society, which according to me should be ur utmost priority when u have chosen a topic of social criticism.

What more can I say??? Rather I would put it this way that is it justified if I say more???

Oh my God, I am blushing till my roots on reading this, thank you... thank you so much! I can't tell you how much these words mean for me - I am blessed to have you as a reader, really.

U deserve all the eulogies for pulling this through so efficiently. U seemed to me more of a painter than a narrator or author. All together, the Shree, we knew, a writer with tremendous potential is reborn with Amour Fou. I won't go into analysing the details of the story coz I believe I've no right to be that audacious. It is a PERFECTLY DEPICTED STORY of the IMPERFECT, APPALLING MIND SET of the contemporary social structure in which we too dwell but still somehow manage to alienate ourselves from these abhorent things, less our existence is marred by these gruesome realities of the orthodox and debilitating segment of the society

I am humbled and eternally grateful :) Thank you for quoting Amour Fou as my rebirth... that means a lot for me because this story just means a lot for me. Shush! You're being trifle too generous with your praises 😳 True, the bitter realities often come along in a wonderful way which we can alienate ourselves from.

The topics such as child marriage, honour killing, evokes a cascade of emotions in any human mind, from hate to helplessness to disgust to anger and many more but all the criticism that we engage ourselves to is a mere way of showing the world that we r so rational and evolved.

Its a way to shrug off some our guilt, lessen a part of our shame. But only a few of us think of contributing towards the reformation , towards changing these ideals and stop some heinous crimes. My sincere appreciation to u for doing ur part with ur inherent talent of skillful writing. Its a commendable work dear.

Thank you so much... I can't tell you how much these words of yours mean to me.

Ami jaani na, whether ur purpose of penning down such a story is only entertainment or conveying a message, so powerful and weighty, but this will surely educate the young, raw minds beyond comprehension.

It's definitely for the latter reason. I couldn't sleep one night, with this thought churning through my mind... that's how this story came into being.

The million dollar question now is that WHAT WILL BE SAKSHI'S REACTION?? But my question is that how will u steer her in the life track. The characters Arjun, Sakshi are tiny saplings that will definitely grow into plants but will they be cactus or white lotus, only u and time can tell.

That's true, Sakshi's reaction is always in the background while Arjun's in the foreground... I know a bit different considering this should be Sakshi's tale... but you'll soon realize why.

Arjun, poor soul, not the bad guy but just oblivious to certain things.

Thank you for understanding him.

Sakshi lost her innocence but will she gain anything by losing it??? Innocence is a facade, when one is afraid of knowing the powers that he or she possesses. It will be a wait worthwhile to see how u progress with the story or let the characters grow. Will u stereotype it by adding a romantic angle to it by Arjun's metamorphosis and sakshi's compromising self or give a new lease of life to her and enlighten her soul and set an example as how one shall deal with a similar situation.

You will enjoy the growth, trust me. I would say that her understanding of the situation comes in between of what you've mentioned :)

Writers like u don't request but command the readers to stay rooted till they have internalized the theme presented to them. I do badly wanted to say a few more things but I'll rather stop here less that becomes irrelevant.

You've barely spoken about anything irrelevant, and readers like you are a sheer blessing and joy for us writers! Thank you once again dear... thank you.

Originally posted by: aptl123

awsome...

arjun's realization part was awsome.../

poor sakshi...

you have portrayed each characters really well...

i have no words to describe

amazing