Just written something impromptu in continuation to the precap...Read and let me know.
OS: Kyu nahi...
'Tumne abhi abhi kaha ki har insaan ho ek jeevan sathi ki zarurat hoti hai...', Anuj paused for her reaction
Anu looked fairly interested, 'haa...bilkul..'
'To tum shadi kyu nai kar leti...', he asked in a controlled voice. His eyes holding her gaze still but his heart thumped hard against his chest. His palms sweating and mouth dry.
It seemed like the moment froze after untill she moved her hand that jingled her bangles, her face stoic.
A miserable smile flashed for a second that broke his heart and she said, 'ek jeevansathi aur pati mein fark hota hai...ye samajhne mein mujhe 26 saal lag gaye...
...sirf ek chhat ke neeche, ek kamre mein rehne se jeevansaathi nahi bante...
....bante hai to ek dusre ke dil mein rehne se....ek dusre ki ijjat karke...ek dusre se pyaar karke...ache bure samay mein saath deke...
.... meine to koshish jeevansathi ban ne ki hi ki thi par shayad....kahi kami reh gayi...', she said and looked away...she'd paused to collect her thoughts he knew...he waited patiently without interrupting.
Sighing deeply she added with a melancholic smile, 'par dekho...aaj mere 3 bachche hai, ek parivaar hai...jinhe mein bahut pyaar karti hu...aur wo... kafi hai...
An explanation that failed to convince herself she thought.
'Par tumse kaun pyaar karta hai Anupama?', Anuj asked sharply.
Anu was scared to answer. She had never seen Anuj like this before. His eyes still searching for hers. She looked away to sheild herself. He did this to her. Its like he was reading her mind and she didn't want to feel so vulnerable in front of him.
Watching her closely he said, 'bahut kam log hote hai jo khud mein khami dhund te hai...baki kuch galat hone par insaan apne alawa har insaan pe galti ka ilzaam lagata hai....
....tumne koshish ki par galat jagah...galat insaan ke saath...wo tumhari kami nahi...wo uska naseeb hai...
Unknowingly a tear dropped out of her eye while she heard him in silence.
'Jeevansaathi to kabhi bhi...kisi bhi mod par mil sakta hai...tumhe use dena hai sirf ek mauka...usko...aur apne aapko...', Anuj continued.
He paused, looked at Lord Krishna's idol they'd just prayed and closed his eyes. Gathering courage he stood up, stepped down a stair, walked to her maintaining a decent distance yet close enough for her to look into his piercing eyes without lowering hers.
After a minute's silence and with a new found confidence feeling nothing but proud of what he was about to say in a very composed voice he said,' 26 saal se mujhe ek patni ki nahi jeevansaathi ki zarurat thi...isliye shayad meine kisiko patni ki jagah nahi di...
....jise mein ijjat dena chahta tha, zindagi apne tareeke se jeene ka aur saath jeene ka mauka dena chahta tha...jise bepanha pyaar karta tha....', he paused.
Every word from Anuj's mouth flashed millions of their moment's together in front of Anu's eyes. His love almost palpable. Didn't she know it from day 1? She was a woman of 44, naive yes but not a fool to fail to see the way he looked at her in that reunion party. It wasn't lust.
It was something she had never ever seen in Vanraj's eyes. The only male in her life ever. It was something beautiful, something pure, something that didn't make her feel objectified rather she felt precious and coveted.
Wasn't it love?
Not the college crush but a mid aged man's long reserved, unrequited love.
Who was she defying? Her heart, her breath, her soul, every cell in her body knew what his eyes meant. She had felt it. Everytime.
The way he looked at her, spoke to her, cared for her respected her...loved her.
She ignored it. Why? She was scared to embrace it.
Why? She never felt so deserved, so wanted, so longed for. Who would love her? After all these years?
He never laid a finger on her but he had touched her soul in ways no one had ever. He had loved her unconditionally in silence. He had treasured her in ways that made her priceless. He had waited all this time...until this very moment.
Anuj bowed his head in respect to her and said 'jise apna jeevansathi banana chahta tha...
...wo tum thi Anupama.', he declared finally.
A soft sob escaped her mouth. Finally she let her guard down, she let her heart overpower her and she cried.
She dropped her head on his shoulder, her tear stained face covered by her palms, shivering she cried her heart out. She cried in defeat, yes, with her mind but a victory of heart that knew all along what he just put it in words. She cried finally accepting what was meant for her. She cried ignoring all those pointing fingers at her who would call it wrong. She cried in thankulness to her lord, the only one that pointed to this man who was nothing but right. She couldn't say anymore. Neither did Anuj need any words. She just cried.
Not reluctantly but lovingly, like he was meant to, required to, he gathered her in his embrace, he felt her body slowly melting tired of a long battle fighting alone, as if waiting to be collected. He let her cry, soothing her intermittently. She needed an out, to wash away all the pent up sorrows of years, in tears. It was his first responsibility as her jeevansathi to be by her side when she was weak.
His palm rested on her head, his warmth assuring her of security, peace and love. First time in her life she felt liberated despite being caged in his arms.
He kissed the crown of her head and rested his chin there as he pulled her closer. Never to let go...not anymore.
End 😊
PS : I feel so liberated 😇
Anupamaa
