Chapter 24

Chapter 24

“You’re a liar”

“You’re a liar AND a coward”

The words resounded in Arnav’s head, unleashing a whirlpool of emotions. He couldn’t understand what Khushi was saying and why. He did the right thing. He stepped out of the way. In fact, for her sake and for Akash, he even stepped out of their lives.

Because, who he was kidding? He didn’t deserve love. He still remembered the cutting words from Shilpa.

"You'll never find love. Why? Because you are way too damaged for anyone to love you. You keep people at an arm's length, you don't connect with them because you are afraid of something. Maybe of getting hurt. And that's what is going to hurt you most at the end. Not love. But loneliness"

Shilpa had been right. He had always kept people at an arm’s length because he didn’t want to become attached, to keep expectations from them. And the one time he allowed himself to do that, life proved to him that he isn’t worthy enough to be loved. The selfless and unconditional love people talk about, that’s not for him.

While Shilpa may have warned him against loneliness, she didn’t know that loneliness was his truest solace. He had lived with it long enough to embrace it once again.

But, seemed like life had another cruel joke to play with him!

Khushi was here with Akash. And she was furious. Hurt and furious!

He watched as Khushi raised her hand for a third time but his Nani caught it before it could strike him again.

He was surprised. Khushi looked surprised too.

“Don’t you dare lay another hand upon my grandson” Devyani Singh Raizada’s voice boomed.

She jerked Khushi’s hand away.

“Nani” Arnav spoke, knowing full well this could escalate very quickly from bad to worse.

“Ek minute, chote. I am talking to this young woman” Devyani Singh Raizada raised her palm in a silencing gesture.

“I will talk to her, Nani” Arnav spoke, looking at Khushi whose face was flushed yet outraged.

She was looking directly at him.

“Yes, you will. But not before I learn who she is and what she is doing under my roof...with Akash” Devyani Raizada said, looking at Akash whose face was stumped.

“Nani, she is...”

“Let her speak. I want to see if she can do anything more than raising a hand” Devyani said, staring meaningfully at Arnav.

Then she turned to Khushi.

“Who are you? And how dare you think you can just barge into my house and assault my grandson?” Devyani Raizada asked in a clipped and reproachful voice.

Khushi took two seconds to compose herself and then looked away from Arnav.

“I am Khushi. From Lucknow. I am Shashi Gupta’s daughter and..”

“You’re Akash’s friend, are you not?” Devyani asked in a disapproving voice.

“Yes” Khushi replied.

“So, you think that gives you a right to do what you did?” Devyani continued.

Khushi remained quiet.

“I don’t know what kind of values were taught to you by your mother and fa..” Devyani said, but she was cut short by Arnav who placed a hand on Devyani’s shoulder.

“Please, Nani. Let me handle this. I will tell you everything later” Arnav said in an imploring voice.

Devyani looked at Arnav and then at Khushi. She gave a long look to Akash.

“I am waiting in my room” She said and walked away.

Once she was gone, Arnav slowly lifted his gaze towards Khushi.

She was already looking at him.

“Let’s sit” He said to her and then to Akash.

Akash didn’t move. Neither did Khushi.

“Alright. Both of you are here that means you have something to say. I hope you aren’t here to invite me to the wedding” Arnav said, forcing a quick laugh.

“Wedding? What..” Akash said.

“That’s exactly what we are here for” Khushi cut short.

Akash looked at Khushi while Arnav felt like he has been punched in the gut. Again.

“Yes. That makes sense” he nodded.

“You love Akash. He loves you. There is no reason why you two shouldn’t get married. I am really..”

“Happy? I know you must be. I have already heard it all from you, remember?” Khushi said, her voice full of anger and pain.

Arnav looked away from her. Then back at her.

“What do you want from me then? I can’t come. I have work. And Nani is not well. I need to be here with her” Arnav replied.

This time it was Khushi who nodded.

“Have you told her that you love me?” Khushi asked.

Arnav took a sharp breath.

“I don’t know what you are saying” He replied.

“Really? That’s your plan? Denying everything? After you told me you love me? After you told Akash you love me? After you told Malik uncle you love me?” Khushi asked.

Khushi watched the pain shine on Arnav’s face.

“I am not denying anything” He said.

“So, you did tell me that you love me? That you want me in your life?” Khushi asked, her voice trembling with emotions.

Arnav looked at Akash and then at her.

“All of us said some things that we didn’t mean” He answered.

Khushi couldn’t believe the words she was hearing.

“I didn’t say anything that I didn’t mean. I meant every word, Arnav. And I thought you meant them too”

Arnav let out a forced smile, which looked more like a grimace.

“Bhai” Akash finally exclaimed. It made Arnav turn to his brother.

“Yes, Akash? Is there something you want to say? But before you do, let me recount what you said to me when I asked you about her. You said you don’t love her. You said she is just a friend. But that’s not true any more, is it?” Arnav asked.

Akash shook his head.

“It’s still true, Bhai. Khushi and I are friends”

Arnav looked at Akash and smiled.

“You’re still lying, Akash. And for what? For whom? You know you love her. She knows you love her. And I know it too. Because I was there. I heard you tell her everything. I heard you tell her I would step back for you two. You were not wrong. At least, you know that much about me” Arnav said.

Both Akash and Khushi looked at Arnav with baffled faces.

“You were there?” Khushi repeated, surprised.

Arnav looked in her eyes.

“I was there long enough to hear what I can never unhear. I heard why you befriended me. Why you spent time with me. Why you pretended to care about me” Arnav said. The sorrow on his face was too much for Khushi to handle.

“Why?” She still asked.

“Because Akash wanted you to! He’s the reason why I even matter to you. It wasn’t a surprise, Khushi. It’s always been true. Akash comes first for you and I know why. He’s the man you fell in love with. So, all of it makes sense. Why should you have to compromise with me when you can have the man you really wanted?” Arnav said. And Khushi could see that he meant it, he really believed what he was saying.

“That’s all you heard? You said you were there and that’s all you heard?” Khushi asked.

It was at this point when Akash’s phone began to ring.

“It’s Doctor uncle” Akash said, and he moved out of the hall to receive the phone. Only Arnav and Khushi remained, looking at each other.

“I didn’t have it in me to hear any more. I couldn’t stand there and receive your call so that you could tell me that people who don’t love each other should not be together. So, I left” Arnav said in a sunken voice.

Khushi nodded.

“So you left. It was so easy for you. You heard half a conversation, you ignored my phone calls and you came here to live your happily ever after. What was your plan, Arnav? To ignore me for the rest of my life? Or just long enough before I finally give up?” Khushi asked.

Arnav walked up to her and looked in her eyes.

“My plan is to love you for the rest of my life. Even if it has to be from afar! No one can take you out from my heart. Not Akash, not you and not even me” Arnav replied.

His words filled Khushi’s eyes with tears.

“You’re a fool, Arnav” She said to him.

Arnav smiled sadly.

“We are all fools in love” He said, voice barely audible.

Khushi couldn’t hold herself back for another second. She threw her arms around Arnav and grabbed him into a fierce hug.

“I love you” She said, hiding her face into his chest and crying.

She felt Arnav’s body freeze and his hands go limp.

“I love you. Only you! And that will never change. Even if you push me away and want me gone, I will stay. I might have found you because of Akash but it was you who taught me what love is! You taught me that love can be selfless and so pure. And it is only you who can make me feel both loved and angry at the same time!” Khushi said, both crying and smiling.

She pulled back from the hug when Arnav didn’t say anything.

She looked up and noticed the wetness in his eyes. His face was a picture of both hope and disbelief.

“You love me?” He asked in a tremulous voice.

“Only you! I am sorry I didn’t say it then. I don’t know what I was waiting for. But, I do love you, Arnav. That’s what I told Akash that day. That’s why I was calling you that day. I wanted to tell you how much I love you” Khushi answered, her own eyes welling up one more time.

“How much?” Arnav whispered.

“So much that living without you is impossible. I am not as strong as you. I cannot love you from afar. I don’t want to! I want you in my life, beside me” Khushi answered.

The words melted whatever limits Arnav had kept on himself and Khushi lifted her finger to slide away the tear that rolled down his cheek.

Arnav hugged her again and this time held her with nothing but happiness in his heart.

Khushi allowed her hands to circle around his waist and barely seconds had passed when the voice interrupted them.

“So touching!” Khushi pulled away and noticed a woman who appeared to be in her late forties. But judging by the heavy make-up and her dressing, she could be older.

“Romance in the middle of our hall room! Only this day was left for me to witness” The woman said, making Khushi deeply embarrassed.

“Khushi, meet my Maami. Manorama Singh Raizada” Arnav said in a flat voice.

“Namaste” Khushi joined her hands in greeting and attempted to smile despite the unpleasant face Manorama was sporting.

“From sensual to sanskaari in a second? Impressive” The woman replied and gave a smile that was dripping with mockery.

“I would appreciate if you could be respectful to my guests, Maami” Arnav’s voice was slow but hard.

“Hello Hi Bye Bye, Arnav Bitwa! I can never dare to insult your guests in this house. You’re the breadwinner of the house, after all” Manorama Singh Raizada replied in the same mocking voice.

Khushi, who stood silently found the entire exchange oddly unsettling.

She thought Arnav was loved by all in this house.

Before more things could be said, Akash walked back into the hall and Manorama’s attention shifted to him.

“Look who it is! Akash Bitwa! What a pleasant surprise, Akash bitwa. When did you come?” Khushi was surprised to see the sudden shift in Manorama’s mood.

What was going on here?

Akash looked at Khushi and Arnav first. Khushi nodded slightly at him that made Akash exhale and smile back.

“I came about an hour ago, Maami. Khushi and I! Seems like you already met her, though. Khushi is my best friend” Akash spoke politely but warmly to her.

“Ohhh, I see. Your best friend. Khushi! Of course. You used to talk so much about her. But looks like she likes your brother more” Manorama said and laughed.

Akash looked at the woman, his face turning sullen.

“I think that’s enough, Maami. They are tired from the journey. Could you please inform in the kitchen that we have two more people for lunch? I will ask Hari Prakash to prepare their rooms” Arnav said.

Manorama looked at Arnav and then at Akash.

“I am glad you’re staying, Akash bitwa! I will see you at lunchtime” The woman said and flitted out of the hall.

“She is stil..so overbearing” Akash huffed.

“I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon” Arnav replied, and then he moved towards Akash.

Hugged him!

“Thank you” He said softly.

“I am sorry, Bhai” Akash said, voice heavy.

“You don’t have to be” Arnav said, softly patting Akash on the back and pulling away.

“Is it alright if I go and wash up in my room?” Akash asked.

“It’s your house, Akash” Arnav answered.

Akash smiled and lifting his small backpack walked up the stairs.

“I’ll go tell Hari Prakash to prepare your room. In the meanwhile, you can wash up in my room” Arnav said to Khushi.

Khushi’s smile grew wide.

“I will get to see your room” She said.

“You will” Arnav’s face was bright as well.

“But, before that I need to go talk to Nani” Arnav said.

The mention of Devyani Singh Raizada brought guilt upon Khushi’s face.

Arnav noticed it and playfully bumped his shoulder against hers.

“Nani would love you” He said.

“It’s not that” Khushi shook her head.

“Then?” Arnav asked.

“I slapped you. I am sorry, Arnav” Khushi said, gently placing her palm upon his face.

“I deserved it” Arnav’s voice turned soft as well.

“No! You didn’t. The only thing you deserve is this” Khushi said.

She ran her gaze around and then quickly placed two kisses on his cheek.

She watched as Arnav’s face broke into a sweet smile. It warmed her heart.

“If this is how you treat me after every slap, I’ll gladly let you slap me every day” He said, voice buoyant with joy.

Khushi blushed and slightly shoved him away.

“Go and talk to your Nani. I’ll wait here” She said to him.

“It’ll be a long talk, I think” Arnav said, voice becoming serious.

“You should go and wash up in the meanwhile. My room is on the first floor, second door on your left. I’ll come as soon as I can” Arnav said.

“You sure? I can just wait. Or come with you?” Khushi asked.

“No. That would definitely not help, at the moment. I’ll see you in my room” Arnav replied.

Khushi nodded.

She picked up her bag but Arnav took it from her.

“Hari Prakash!” Arnav called out.

“Ji, Arnav Bhaiya?” The man appeared within seconds.

“Take Khushi’s bag to my room. And after that, clean up the guest room” Arnav said to him.

Hari Prakash looked at Khushi and then took the bag from Arnav.

“Ji, Bhaiya” He said and started walking away.

“Bye” Khushi said to him and followed after Hari Prakash.

~~**~~

Devyani Singh Raizada was sitting down on her armchair when Arnav walked in.

“Tell me they are leaving. At least the girl is!” she said without getting up.

“They’re staying. Both of them” Arnav said, covering the distance and then grabbing a stool to place it beside his Nani’s chair.

Devyani Singh Raizada gave a long look to Arnav while he settled on the stool.

“Did you sleep with her while you were in Lucknow?” Devyani Singh Raizada asked without any emotion or preamble.

The question stunned Arnav for a second.

“NANI! How can you ask me something like that?” He asked the next second, his face becoming a picture of disbelief and indignation.

“I am old, Chote. But, I am not naive. I understand the modern ways. And while I do not approve most of them, some are understandable. So, if such is the case with this girl, you can tell me” Devyani Singh Raizada delivered her words with complete aplomb.

“I love her, Nani” Arnav said, holding his Nani’s gaze.

Devyani Singh Raizada frowned.

“Love? Her? She is beautiful, I’ll accede to that, Chote. But you barely know her. I barely know her. So, I would advise you to tread slowly” Devyani Raizada said, her voice wary.

“I think I know enough about her, Nani. She is a kind, honest and strong person. She is deeply loyal and passionate about the things she loves. She believes in being happy and making others happy. And most of all, she understands me. She cares about me. She loves me with all my flaws” Arnav said, unable to stop himself from feeling proud.

He felt lucky that Khushi was so perceptive about his inner feelings and so willing to walk the extra mile. Or like every other relation in his life, he would have doomed this relationship as well.

Devyani Singh Raizada remained quiet for some time, considering Arnav’s words.

“Please give her a chance, Nani. Once you get to know her, you will definitely love her. She is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long long time” Arnav said.

“Alright, Chote! I will think about it. But, in return you have to promise me something” Devyani said.

Arnav waited to hear more.

“I want you to give me your word that you will not go back to Lucknow. You already spent so much time there and I don’t want you going back there. Your life is here. Your family is here. That place has nothing for us, nothing except bad memories. So, if you want to pursue this girl Khushi, you will have to tell her that you can’t move to Lucknow. If this is acceptable to you, I will have no objection to this girl” Devyani said to Arnav.

Arnav’s face became overwrought and thoughtful.

“I can’t promise anything, Nani. At least, not before talking to Khushi. So, I’ll talk to you later about this. But, as long as Khushi is here, please give her a chance. Nothing would make me happier than seeing you two get along” Arnav said.

Devyani Singh Raizada nodded.

~~**~~

Instead of going to Arnav’s room, Khushi asked Hari Prakash where was Akash’s room, and she knocked at his door.

Akash was sitting on the bed, his shoes removed, and he was looking around the room.

“Khushi. Come in” Akash saw her and smiled.

“What did Doctor Uncle say?” She asked as she stepped into the room and stood beside the bed.

“They are going to start chemo” Akash said, voice becoming dull.

“But I thought..” Khushi’s voice trailed as the news sank in.

“Yeah! The reports of his post surgery tests are here. Apparently, the surgery didn’t go too well. So, they will have to start chemo to keep the tumours from metastasizing and hope it works” Akash said.

Khushi sat down on the bed and placed a sympathetic hand on Akash’s shoulders.

“I wish I was there” Akash said.

Khushi couldn’t help but feel bad for him.

“I am sorry you had to come here with me” She said.

“No, that’s not what I mean. I am happy I came here with you. I had to come and see Bhai. Especially after how I left things between us. To be honest, I am here as much for myself as for you” Akash said.

“How did your talk go with Bhai?” He further asked.

“It was difficult” Khushi said.

“No matter how much mad I was at him for leaving so suddenly and then totally blocking me out from his life, I could feel his pain when he was talking. It was like reliving our previous conversation when he thought I was going to marry...you” Khushi said.

Akash’s face became apologetic again.

“I am sorry, Khushi. I never apologized to you for doing that. You had told me not to talk to Bhai but I did exactly that. No matter how much tensed I was about the situation then, I shouldn’t have broken your trust. I didn’t think it was going to cause so much harm” Akash said.

“Yes. You didn’t think. I felt let down by my friend, and I was hurt. But, it’s fine now, Akash. I had forgotten that just like you share things with me, you share things with Arnav too. You were looking for someone to talk and I had refused to talk to you. I can understand why you went to Arnav but I would have appreciated it if you had given me a heads up” Khushi said.

“I am sorry” Akash said, holding his both ears with his hands.

“I forgive you” Khushi said, unable to hold back a small, amused smile.

“Thank you” Akash said, and he seemed to mean it.

Khushi felt lighter too.

“So, what do you want to do now?” She asked him.

“I don’t know. I still haven’t talked to Bhai. I will talk to him and apologize for being such a selfish person. I’ll make sure I do that before tonight because I want to leave from here as soon as possible. What about you?” Akash asked.

Khushi thought for a few seconds.

“I don’t know. Arnav and I haven’t talked about that yet. We will. Right now, he’s talking to Nani ji. I am nervous just thinking about it. It was a really bad first impression that I made on her. I hope she doesn’t hate me” Khushi said.

“I think it will take some time for Nani to accept you. But once she sees that Bhai is happy with you, she will easily accept you. That’s what happened with me too. Nani ji wasn’t very thrilled about my visits to Delhi. It was a bit rough in the starting. But once she saw how much Bhai cared for me, she gradually accepted it” Akash said to Khushi making her pensive but hopeful.

“I hope so” She replied eventually and stood up.

“I’ll let you freshen up now” She said.

“Yeah. I’ll see you later” Akash and Khushi walked out of the room.

She made way towards Arnav’s room as shown to her by Hari Prakash and found that Arnav was not back yet.

When she stepped out of the bathroom all freshened up and changed into more comfortable clothes, she found Arnav sitting on the bed.

“Hari Prakash carried your bag to your room” He said, looking at her.

“Oh! I had to put these in” She said, holding the clothes in her hand.

“You can put them in my almirah for now” Arnav said.

Khushi hesitated for a second.

“Are you sure? I can just go keep them in my bag. Where is the room?” She asked.

“Two doors down from here, next to the study room. But, don’t go just yet” Arnav said. Khushi noticed the pleading look in his eyes and nodded.

She folded the clothes and opened his almirah.

Clothes lined neatly! Coats, shirts, ties, blazers, socks! There were so many. Shoes and belts. But there was a lack of colour in all the items.

“Are you a fashion freak or what?” Khushi asked as she placed her clothes over his stack of shirts.

“Disadvantage of running fashion houses! There are always ample clothes” Arnav said.

Khushi closed the almirah and turned to him.

Then she ran her gaze around the room. It was artistically done, into shades of black and grey. The only bit of colour was royal blue in the form of small table lamps and the curtains.

“Not bad” She said, crossing her arms across her chest.

Arnav simply watched her.

“What?” Khushi asked when she noticed his unwavering gaze. It made her feel conscious, uncomfortable.

“You’re in my room” He said.

“Yes! I am” Khushi said, smiling dimly.

“This is the best day of life” Arnav said.

Khushi couldn’t ignore the burst of warmth in her heart.

She walked up and took a seat next to him.

“I am just happy that you’re not far from me any more” She said.

Khushi watched the emotions ripple on his face before his fingers touched her hand and then interlocked with her fingers.

“You must be tired” He said.

“Not much” She replied, aware of the connection between their hands. It was soothing to her soul.

A week long of separation had dispirited her more than she had realized. Now that she sat with him, him holding her hands, she felt at peace.

“Thank for you not giving up on me” Arnav’s words were hoarse as he looked into her eyes.

“I almost did” Khushi whispered, recalling the words Ratan Kaka had told him.

“You told Ratan Kaka to tell me that it was all a dream” She said.

Arnav’s face became poignant.

“That’s what it felt like then. Like a bucket of ice had been splashed on me to wake me up from the dream. Hearing Akash tell you that you started talking to me because of him, it reminded me of how I was used by my mother to get close to my father. It felt like the same thing had happened to me. That you had used me to get close to Akash, to make him happy” Arnav said, saying the words that brought tears to Khushi’s eyes.

“That’s not true, Arnav. That’s not why I did it. I didn’t want to make Akash and Malik Uncle happy. Once I met you, once I talked to you and saw your pain, I wanted you to be happy. Even if it meant you not forgiving Uncle. That’s why I never expected you to forgive uncle. I wanted you to be happy. But, I didn’t know that while looking for your happiness, I’ll find my own. I didn’t even know that I was looking for my happiness before I found you” Khushi said.

“I was looking for you all along” Arnav said, cupping her face in his hands.

Khushi studied the slight moisture that had filled Arnav’s eyes as well. Then her gaze moved down and fell on his lips.

It brought back the memory of a soft kiss, one that had set her heart racing.

Arnav read her face and realized what she was thinking. The same memory was dancing in his head as well.

He watched as her eyes fluttered once and her lips parted slightly.

It was enough for his blood to sing.

He leaned in a fraction.

Khushi’s breathing turned heavy, and she closed her eyes.

“Look at me, Khushi” He asked in a voice that was both command and a plea.

She opened her eyes.

Arnav finally filled the gap between their lips and Khushi immediately felt a rush in her heart and mind.

His lips caressed her lips for a second before he shifted his body closer to her.

Khushi felt his hands wrap around her waist and her fingers instantly found themselves in his hair.

A headiness settled upon her as Arnav pushed open her lips with his, his movements urgent.

“I love you” She heard him whisper, but the words were lost somewhere between their mouths.

Khushi pulled him even closer and whimpered when he deepened the kiss, his tongue taking charge.

“Arnav” She moaned his name, one hand still in his hair while the other clutched at his shirt.

Arnav’s own breaths had become raspy, and he was having a hard time controlling himself.

As Khushi’s hand slid down, and she clutched at his back, her nails digging in, he slightly pulled away from her mouth, brining his focus to her jaw and then her neck.

She arched towards him, unintentionally giving him more access.

But, he slowly pulled away and allowed himself to breathe in, letting her rest her face against his neck.

He counted to ten in his mind. In the meanwhile, he felt Khushi’s body easing too.

He didn’t let his hands around her waist go. She didn’t ask him to even after a few minutes had passed.

They sat like that for a few minutes before Khushi moved.

“I should go to my room now. Take some rest” She said, looking at his shirt instead of him.

Her face and ears were red.

Arnav smiled but didn’t say anything.

“Yes. You want me to come show you the room?” He asked.

“No. I will find it” She said, still not looking at him and began to get off the bed.

“Are you sure?” He asked, unable to hide the smile.

Khushi looked up slightly and noticed it.

“Yes” She said, finally catching his gaze.

Both of them looked at each other.

“I’ll see you in some time” She said.

“Okay” Arnav said.

“Bye” She said.

“Bye” Arnav replied.

Khushi moved out of the room in quick steps and slammed her back against the wall outside his room.

Then she released a long breath.

“That was beautiful” She muttered to herself and then finally smiled, slowly making her way to her room.

______________________

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