Chapter 24

Chapter 24

“You are a liar”

“You are a liar AND a coward”

The words resounded in Arnav’s head, unleashing a whirlpool of emotions. He couldn’t understand what Khushi was saying and why. He did the right thing. He stepped out of the way. In fact, for her sake and for Akash, he even stepped out of their lives.

Because, who was he kidding? He didn’t deserve love. He still remembered Shilpa's words, cutting as ever.

"You'll never find love. Why? Because you are way too damaged for anyone to love you. You keep people at an arm's length, you don't connect with them because you are afraid of something. Maybe of getting hurt. And that's what is going to hurt you most at the end. Not love. But loneliness"

Shilpa had been right. He had always kept people at an arm’s length because he didn’t want to become attached, to keep expectations from them. And the one time he allowed himself to do that, life proved to him that he isn’t worthy enough to be loved. The selfless and unconditional love people talk about, that is not for him.

While Shilpa may have warned him against loneliness, she didn’t know that loneliness was his truest solace. He had lived with it long enough to embrace it once again.

But apparently, life had one more cruel joke saved for him.

Khushi was here with Akash. And she was furious. Hurt and furious in equal measure.

He watched her raise her hand a third time, readied himself to welcome the pain but it didn’t come.

His Nani has stepped in between, her hand grabbing Khushi’s wrist, yanking it away.

"Don't you dare lay another hand on my grandson," Devyani Singh Raizada said, her voice booming through the hall.

"Nani," Arnav said, already sensing how quickly this could escalate from bad to worse.

"Ek minute, Chote. I am talking to this young woman" Devyani raised a palm, silencing him.

"I will talk to her, Nani," Arnav said, looking at Khushi, whose face was flushed with outrage.

She was staring straight at him.

“Yes, you will. But not before I learn who she is and what she is doing under my roof...with Akash” Devyani Raizada said, looking at Akash whose face was stumped.

“Nani, she is...”

“Let her speak. I want to see if she can do anything more than raising her hand” Devyani said, staring meaningfully at Arnav.

Then she turned to Khushi.

“Who are you? And how dare you think you can just barge into my house and assault my grandson?” Her tone was clipped, reproachful.

Khushi took two seconds to gather herself before looking away from Arnav.

“I am Khushi. From Lucknow. I am Shashi Gupta’s daughter and..”

“You are Akash’s friend, are you not?” Devyani cut in, disapproval thick in her voice.

"Yes," Khushi said, unable to meet her eyes.

"And you think that gives you the right to do what you just did?" Devyani continued.

Khushi remained quiet.

"I do not know what kind of values your mother and fath.." Devyani started, but Arnav's hand landed on her shoulder, cutting her off.

"Please, Nani. Let me handle this. I will tell you everything later” He said, his voice imploring.

Devyani looked at him, then at Khushi, then let her gaze rest on Akash a moment longer.

"I will be waiting in my room," she said, and walked away.

Once she was gone, Arnav slowly lifted his eyes to Khushi.

She was already watching him.

"Let's sit," he said, to her, and then to Akash.

Neither moved.

“Alright. Both of you are here that means you have something to say. I hope you aren’t here to invite me to the wedding” Arnav said, forcing out a short laugh that rang hollow to his own ears.

“Wedding? What..” Akash started.

“That is exactly what we are here for” Khushi interrupted Akash, not moving her eyes from Arnav's face.

Akash looked at Khushi while Arnav felt like he had been punched in the gut. Again.

“Yes. That makes sense” he nodded, running his fingers through his hair.

"You love Akash. He loves you. There is no reason the two of you shouldn't get married. I am really.."

"Happy? Yeah! I know you must be. I have already heard this speech once, remember?" Khushi's voice was thick with anger and pain.

Arnav looked away from her. Then back at her.

“What do you want from me then? I cannot come. I have work. And Nani is not well. I need to be here with her” He replied.

This time it was Khushi who nodded.

“Have you told her that you love me?” She asked.

Arnav drew in a sharp breath.

“I don’t know what you are saying” He replied, looking away.

“Really? That’s your plan? To deny everything? After you told me that you love me? After you told Akash that you love me? After you told Malik uncle that you love me?” Khushi asked.

She watched the pain flicker across his face.

“I am not denying anything” He said.

“So, you did tell me that you love me? That you want me in your life?” She asked, her voice trembling with emotions.

Arnav looked at Akash and then at her.

“All of us said some things that we didn’t mean” He answered.

Khushi couldn’t believe the words she was hearing.

“I didn’t say anything that I didn’t mean. I meant every word, Arnav. And I thought you meant them too.”

He gave a forced smile that came out looking more like a grimace.

"Bhai," Akash finally said, and Arnav turned toward him.

“Yes, Akash? Is there something you want to say? But before you do, let me recount what you said to me when I first asked you about her. You said you didn’t love her. You said she is just a friend. But that’s not true anymore, is it?” Arnav asked.

Akash shook his head. "It is still true, Bhai. Khushi and I are friends."

Arnav gave him a thin smile.

“You are still lying, Akash. And for what? For whom? You know you love her. She knows you love her. And I know it too. I was there. I heard you tell her everything. I heard you tell her that I would step back for you two. You were not wrong. At least, you know that much about me” He said.

Both Akash and Khushi stared at him, baffled.

"You were there?" Khushi repeated.

Arnav met her eyes.

"I was there long enough to hear something I can never unhear. I heard exactly why you befriended me. Why you spent time with me. Why you pretended to care about me, Khushi."

Sorrow settled over his face, and it was almost more than Khushi could bear to look at.

“Why?” She still asked.

“Because Akash wanted you to! He is the reason why I even matter to you. It wasn’t a surprise, Khushi. It has always been true and I have always known it. Akash comes first for you and I also know why. He is the man you fell in love with. So, all of it makes sense. Why should you have to settle for me when you can be with the man you are actually in love with?” Arnav said. And Khushi could see that he meant it, that he really believed everything he was saying.

“That is all you heard? You said you were there and that is all you heard?” She asked, shaking her head.

It was at this point when Akash’s phone began to ring.

“It is Doctor uncle” He said, and he moved out of the hall to receive the call. Only Arnav and Khushi remained, looking at each other.

"I didn't have it in me to hear more. I couldn't stand there and wait for your call, just to hear you tell me that people who don't love each other shouldn't be together. So I left," Arnav said, his voice sunken.

Khushi nodded slowly.

"So you left. Just like that. It was so easy for you. You heard half a conversation, ignored every call I made, and you came here to live your happily ever after. What was the plan, Arnav? To Ignore me for the rest of my life? Or just long enough before I finally give up?” She asked.

Arnav walked up to her and looked in her eyes.

"My plan is to love you for the rest of my life. Even if it has to be from afar. No one can take you out of my heart. Not Akash. Not you. Not even me." He said.

Tears rose in her eyes at that.

“You are a fool, Arnav” She said to him.

He smiled, weakly. "We are all fools in love, Khushi."

She couldn't hold back another second. She threw her arms around him, pulling him into a fierce hug.

"I love you," she said, her face buried in his chest, crying now.

She felt Arnav's body go rigid, his hands falling still at her admission.

"I love you, Arnav. Only you. And that is never going to change. Even if you push me away, even if you want me gone, I will stay. I may have found you because of Akash, but it was you who has taught me what love actually is. You have taught me that love is selfless and pure. And you are the only person who has ever made me feel loved and furious at the exact same time" Khushi said, crying.

She pulled back when there was no response from Arnav.

Looking up, she saw the wetness in his eyes, his face caught somewhere between hope and disbelief.

"You love me?" His voice shook.

"Only you. I am sorry I didn't say it sooner. I don't even know what I was waiting for. But I do love you, Arnav. That is what I told Akash that day. That is why I was calling you. I wanted to tell you how much I love you" She answered, her own eyes welling up one more time.

"How much?" he whispered.

“So much that living without you is impossible. I am not as strong as you. I cannot love you from afar. I don’t want to! I want you in my life, beside me” She answered.

The words dissolved whatever restraint he had been holding onto, and a tear slid down his cheek. Khushi reached up to wipe it away.

He pulled her back into his arms, and this time held her with nothing but happiness in his heart.

Khushi wrapped her arms around his waist, and barely a moment had passed before a voice cut through the room.

"So touching!"

Khushi instantly pulled away from Arnav. She noticed the woman who looked to be in her late forties stalk up to them, though the heavy makeup and styling suggested she might be older than that.

“Romance in the middle of our hall room! Only this day was left for me to witness” the woman said, and Khushi felt her face heat with embarrassment.

“Khushi, meet my Maami. Manorama Singh Raizada” Arnav said, his voice flat.

"Namaste." Khushi joined her hands in greeting, forcing a smile despite the woman's openly unpleasant expression.

"From sensual to sanskaari in a second? Impressive," Manorama said, her smile dripping with mockery.

“I would appreciate if you could be respectful to my guests, Maami” Arnav’s voice was slow but hard.

“Hello Hi, Bye Bye, Arnav Bitwa! I would never dare to insult your guests in this house. You’re the breadwinner of the house, after all” Manorama Singh Raizada replied in the same mocking tone.

Khushi, standing silently through it, found the whole exchange strange and unsettling. She had assumed Arnav was loved by everyone in this house.

Before it could go further, Akash walked back in, and Manorama's attention shifted instantly.

“Look who it is! Akash Bitwa! What a pleasant surprise, Akash bitwa. When did you come, Bitwa?” Khushi was surprised to see the sudden shift in Manorama’s mood. What exactly was going on with this woman?

Akash glanced at Khushi and Arnav first. She gave a small nod, and he relaxed, smiling back at his aunt.

“I came about an hour ago, Maami. Khushi and I! Seems like you already met her, though. Khushi is my best friend” Akash said, warm and polite.

“Ohhh, I see. Your best friend. Khushi! Of course. You used to talk so much about her. But looks like she likes your brother more” Manorama laughed.

Akash's expression turned sullen.

“I think that is enough, Maami. They are both tired from the journey. Could you let the kitchen know that we have two more people for lunch? I will ask Hari Prakash to prepare their rooms” Arnav said.

Manorama glanced between the brothers.

“I am glad you are staying, Akash bitwa! I will see you at lunchtime” The woman said and flitted out of the hall.

“She is still..so overbearing” Akash muttered once she was gone.

“I don’t think that is going to change anytime soon” Arnav said, then crossed over to his brother.

"Thank you," he said quietly to him.

"I am sorry, Bhai," Akash replied, his voice heavy.

"You don't have to be sorry, Akash" Arnav patted his back once and pulled away.

Akash nodded.

"Is it alright if I go wash up?" He asked.

"It is your house, Akash." Arnav said.

Akash smiled, picked up his backpack, and headed for the stairs.

"I will go tell Hari Prakash to get your room ready," Arnav said to Khushi. "You can wash up in mine, meanwhile."

Her smile widened. "I get to see your room."

"You do" Arnav’s face brightened too.

"But first, I need to go talk to Nani," he said.

The mention of Devyani brought a flicker of guilt to Khushi's face.

Arnav noticed and bumped his shoulder lightly against hers.

"Nani will love you," he said.

"It is not that," Khushi said, shaking her head.

"Then?"

"I slapped you. I am sorry, Arnav" She rested her palm gently against his cheek.

"I deserved it," he said, his voice softening too.

"No. You didn't. The only thing you deserve is this" She glanced around, then quickly pressed two kisses to his cheek.

She watched his face break into a sweet, unguarded smile. It warmed something in her chest.

"If this is what I get after every slap, I will happily let you slap me every day," he said, buoyant.

Khushi blushed and gave him a light shove.

“Go and talk to your Nani. I will wait here” She said to him.

"It is going to be a long conversation, I think," he said, turning serious.

"You should freshen up in the meantime. My room is on the first floor, second door on the left. I will come as soon as I can."

"You sure? I could wait…or come with you?" Khushi asked.

"No. That would definitely not help right now. I will see you in my room."

Khushi nodded and reached for her bag, but Arnav took it from her.

"Hari Prakash!" he called.

"Ji, Arnav Bhaiya?" The man appeared within seconds.

"Take Khushi's bag to my room. And then get the guest room cleaned up."

Hari Prakash glanced at Khushi and took the bag.

"Ji, Bhaiya," he said, and walked off.

"Bye," Khushi said, and followed after Hari Prakash.

~~**~~

Devyani Singh Raizada was sitting down in her armchair when Arnav walked in.

“Tell me they are leaving. At least the girl is!” she said without getting up.

“They are staying. Both of them” Arnav said, crossing the room and pulling a stool up beside her chair.

Devyani Singh Raizada studied her grandson for a long moment as he settled onto it.

"Did you sleep with her while you were in Lucknow?" she asked, without any emotion or preamble.

The question stunned Arnav for a beat.

"Nani! How can you ask me something like that?" His face went from shock to indignation.

“I am old, Chote. But, I am not naive. I understand the modern ways. And while I do not approve of most of them, some are understandable. So, if such is the case with this girl, you can tell me” Devyani said, with complete composure.

"I love her, Nani," Arnav said, holding her gaze.

Devyani frowned. "Love? Her? She is beautiful, I will grant you that. But you barely know her. I barely know her. I would advise you to tread slowly." Devyani Raizada said, her voice wary.

“I think I know enough about her, Nani. She is a kind, honest and strong person. She is deeply loyal and passionate about the things she loves. She believes in being happy and making others happy. And most of all, she understands me. She cares about me. She loves me with all my flaws” Arnav said, unable to keep the pride from his voice.

He felt lucky that Khushi was so perceptive about his inner feelings and so willing to walk the extra mile. Or like every other relationship in his life, he would have doomed this relationship as well.

Devyani sat with his words for a while.

"Please give her a chance, Nani. Once you know her, you will love her. She is the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time."

“Alright, Chote! I will think about it. But, in return you have to promise me something” Devyani said.

Arnav waited.

“I want you to give me your word that you will not go back to Lucknow. You already spent so much time there and I don’t want you going back there. Your life is here. Your family is here. That place has nothing for us, nothing except bad memories. So, if you want to pursue this girl Khushi, you will have to tell her that you can’t move to Lucknow. If this is acceptable to you, I will have no objection to this girl” Devyani said to Arnav.

Arnav’s face became overwrought and thoughtful.

“I can’t promise anything, Nani. At least, not before talking to Khushi. So, I will talk to you later about this. But, as long as Khushi is here, please give her a chance. Nothing would make me happier than seeing you two get along” Arnav said.

Devyani Singh Raizada nodded.

~~**~~

Instead of going to Arnav's room, Khushi asked Hari Prakash where Akash was staying, and knocked on his door.

He was sitting on the bed, shoes off, taking in the room.

"Khushi. Come in," he said, smiling when he saw her.

"What did Doctor Uncle say?" she asked, stepping in and standing by the bed.

"They're starting chemo," Akash said, his voice dulling.

“But I thought..” Khushi’s voice trailed as the news sank in.

"Yeah. The post-surgery reports came in. The surgery didn't go as well as they'd hoped. So now it's chemo, to try and keep the tumors from spreading. And hope it works."

Khushi sat beside him and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"I wish I was there," Akash said.

She felt for him, watching his face.

"I am sorry you had to come here with me," she said. Khushi couldn’t help but feel bad for him.

"No, that's not what I mean. I am glad I came with you. I needed to see Bhai.especially after how things were left between us. Honestly, I am here as much for myself as for you."

"How did your talk with Bhai go?" he asked.

"Hard," Khushi said. "As mad as I was at him for leaving so suddenly, for shutting me out completely..I could feel his pain while he talked. It was like reliving that whole conversation, when he thought I was going to marry you."

Akash's face fell into apology again.

"I am sorry, Khushi. I never actually said sorry for that. You told me not to talk to Bhai, and I did it anyway. I know how anxious I was about everything, but I shouldn't have broken your trust like that. I never thought it would cause this much damage." Akash said.

“Yes. You didn’t think. I felt let down by my friend, and I was hurt. But, it’s fine now, Akash. I had forgotten that just like you share things with me, you share things with Arnav too. You were looking for someone to talk to and I had refused to talk to you. I can understand why you went to Arnav but I would have appreciated it if you had given me a heads up” She said.

“I am sorry” Akash said, holding his both ears with his hands.

“I forgive you” Khushi said, unable to hold back a small, amused smile.

“Thank you” Akash said, and he seemed to mean it.

Khushi felt lighter too.

“So, what do you want to do now?” She asked him.

“I don’t know. I still haven’t talked to Bhai. I will talk to him and apologize for being such a selfish person. I will make sure I do that before tonight because I want to leave from here as soon as possible. What about you?” Akash asked.

Khushi thought it over.

"I don't know. Arnav and I haven't talked about that yet. We will. Right now, he s with Nani ji. I am nervous just thinking about it. I made a terrible first impression on her. I hope she doesn't hate me."

“I think it will take some time for Nani to accept you. But once she sees that Bhai is happy with you, she will easily accept you. That is what happened with me too. Nani ji wasn’t very thrilled about my visits to Delhi. It was a bit rough in the starting. But once she saw how much Bhai cared for me, she gradually accepted it” Akash said to Khushi making her pensive but hopeful.

“I hope so” She replied eventually and stood up.

“I’ll let you freshen up now” She said.

“Yeah. I’ll see you later” Akash and Khushi walked out of the room.

She made her way to Arnav's room, following Hari Prakash's directions, and found he wasn't back yet.

When she stepped out of the bathroom, freshened up and changed into something more comfortable, she found Arnav sitting on the bed.

"Hari Prakash took your bag to your room," he said, looking up.

"Oh — I need to put these in somewhere," she said, holding up the clothes in her hand.

“You can put them in my almirah for now” Arnav said.

She hesitated. "Are you sure? I could just take them to my bag. Where is my room?"

"Two doors down, next to the study. But don't go yet." Something in his eyes was almost pleading, and she nodded.

She folded the clothes and opened the almirah.

Everything inside was immaculate! Coats, shirts, ties, blazers, socks, shoes, belts, more than she could count. Not a splash of color anywhere.

"Are you a fashion freak or something?" she asked, laying her clothes over his stack of shirts.

"Occupational hazard of running fashion houses. There is always an excess of clothes."

She closed the almirah and turned to survey the room. Done up in shades of black and grey, the only color coming from the royal blue table lamps and curtains.

"Not bad," she said, crossing her arms.

He was watching her.

"What?" she asked, growing self-conscious under his gaze.

"You are in my room."

"Yes. I am." She gave him a soft smile.

“This is the best day of life” Arnav said.

Warmth bloomed in her chest at that. She crossed the room and sat beside him.

“I am just happy that you’re not far from me any more” She said.

She watched something shift across his face before his fingers found hers, lacing together.

"You must be tired," he said.

"Not really," she said, more aware of their joined hands than anything else. It settled something in her that had been unsteady for days.

A week of separation had worn her down more than she had realized. Now, sitting here with him, his hand in hers, she felt something close to peace.

“Thank for you not giving up on me” Arnav’s words were hoarse as he looked into her eyes.

"I almost did," Khushi whispered, thinking back to Ratan Kaka's words.

"You told Ratan Kaka to tell me it was all a dream," she said.

His face turned somber.

“That’s what it felt like in that moment. Like a bucket of ice had been splashed over me to wake me up from the dream. Hearing Akash tell you that you started talking to me because of him, it reminded me of how I was used by my mother to get close to my father. . It felt like history repeating. Like you had used me the same way, to get close to Akash, to make him happy" Arnav said, saying the words that brought tears to Khushi’s eyes.

“That’s not true, Arnav. That’s not why I did it. I didn’t want to make Akash and Malik Uncle happy. Once I met you, once I talked..I saw how much you were hurting. I wanted you to be happy. Even if it meant you not forgiving Uncle. That is why I never expected you to forgive him. I just wanted you happy. But, I didn’t know that while looking for your happiness, I will find my own. I didn’t even know that I was looking for my happiness before I found you” Khushi said.

“I was looking for you all along” Arnav said, cupping her face in his hands.

Khushi studied the slight moisture that had filled Arnav’s eyes as well. Then her gaze drifted down, to his lips.

It brought back the memory of a soft kiss, one that had set her heart racing.

He read it in her face; the same memory was moving through him.

He watched her eyes flutter, her lips part just slightly.

It was enough.

He leaned in, a fraction.

Her breathing turned shallow, and her eyes fell shut.

"Look at me, Khushi," he said…half command, half plea.

She opened her eyes.

Arnav finally filled the gap between their lips and she felt the rush of it move through her all at once.

His lips brushed hers for a moment before he shifted closer, his hands finding her waist, her fingers finding his hair.

A heady warmth settled over her as he deepened the kiss, urgent now.

"I love you," she heard him murmur, the words lost somewhere between their mouths.

She pulled him closer, a small sound escaping her as the kiss deepened further, his tongue taking the lead.

“Arnav” she breathed his name, one hand still tangled in his hair, the other fisted in his shirt.

His breathing had turned ragged too, and it was clear he was fighting to hold himself steady.

As her hand slid to his back, nails pressing in, he pulled back slightly from her mouth, moving instead along her jaw, down to her neck.

She arched toward him, giving him more access without meaning to.

But he drew back, letting himself breathe, letting her rest her face against his neck.

He counted silently to ten. Beside him, he felt her settle too.

He kept his hands at her waist. She didn't ask him to move them, even minutes later.

They sat like that a while before she finally stirred.

"I should go to my room. Get some rest," she said, eyes on his shirt rather than his face.

Her cheeks and ears had gone crimson.

He smiled, saying nothing.

"You want me to walk you there?" he asked.

"No. I will find it," she said, still avoiding his gaze, easing off the bed.

"You sure?" He couldn't quite hide his smile.

She glanced up and caught it.

"Yes," she said, finally meeting his eyes.

They looked at each other for a long moment.

“I’ll see you in some time” She said.

“Okay”

“Bye” She said.

“Bye” He replied.

She stepped out quickly and let her back fall against the wall outside his door.

Then she released a long breath.

“That was beautiful” She muttered to herself and then finally smiled, slowly making her way to her room.

______________________