Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 When Khushi walked into the Mahal, she found it eerily silent. More silent than she had ever seen.

She wondered what was going on.

Looking around, she decided to start with Akash.

“Khushi bitiya” It was Ratan Kaka’s voice that stopped her.

“Kaka, where is everyone?” She asked him.

“Malik Saheb and Doctor Saheb are in that room” The old man pointed towards the guest room Malik had recently moved in.

“And Akash and Arnav?” She asked.

“Akash saheb is on the roof, I think and Chote Saheb is in the library” The man supplied the whereabouts of everyone.

“Okay, Kaka” She said and found herself moving towards the library.

Once she reached there, she looked around the huge space and finally found Arnav in one of the armchairs, staring at nothing. She couldn’t see any book in his hands or near him.

She wasn’t even sure if he heard her coming because the expression on his face did not change. Khushi felt her heart twist.

What has happened? Why does he look so lost? Just this afternoon, he was all smirks and smiles.

Khushi walked up to him and sat down in the chair next to him.

He still didn’t move or speak or acknowledge her presence.

She waited in patience, silently looking at him.

Minutes passed by. Khushi noticed a book lying at the foot of her chair and she bent down to pick it.

It was one of the recent ones recently added to the collection. She knew because she had gone through almost all the titles in the library.

She was still flipping through the pages when Arnav moved.

She looked at him and found him standing up, leaving.

“Don’t go! I can leave if you want to be alone” She instantly said, standing up. The book again fell on the carpeted floor. She didn’t bother to pick it up this time.

Arnav finally turned his gaze towards her and Khushi was struck by the anguish in them.

She didn’t know what to say or do to make him feel better. She didn’t even know what was wrong.

“Don’t go” She repeated, walking up to him.

He looked at her, unblinking as if asking her why.

Why should he stay?

“Talk to me,” She said.

Arnav watched as she reached for his hand and held it in hers. She tugged on it and made him sit again.

“Tell me, Arnav” She asked him.

Arnav took a heavy breath and gripped her hand tightly.

“I was ten years old when my mother took poison. She was always sick, always in bed. Even when she wouldn’t be physically sick, she would rest in bed. She rarely left her room. I would sit with her all day after school. She would make me finish my homework. She would tell me stories about how she met...him. She would tell me he was a good and kind man. And I tried to believe her. But, she was wrong. I knew she was wrong. He hated my mother. I had never seen him sit with her, talk to her, or even visit her when she was sick. Tell me Khushi, Does he sound like a good man to you?” He asked her, eyes fixed on her face.

Khushi didn’t know what to say. Whatever he was telling her..she has never known Malik Uncle to be so heartless. But, she found herself shaking her head.

The man he was telling her about did not sound like a good man. He didn’t sound like her Malik Uncle at all.

“What happened, Arnav?” She asked him.

“A lot of things! On that day..” Khushi didn’t have to ask which day. His face told her enough.

 “I went to my father’s room to request him to come with me. I knew Ma needed the doctor. Her head was burning up and she was not even taking her medicine. But, he had sent the doctor away. So..”

“Doctor Uncle? He was treating her?” Khushi asked.

“Yes. But he didn’t use to live here then. I mean he was practically around all the time but he lived somewhere else” Arnav said.

“So, he wasn’t in the Mahal that night?” Khushi asked.

“No one was around when it happened. When I went back to her room, Ma wasn’t there” Arnav said, his voice faint and Khushi knew he had slipped back into the memory.

“I looked everywhere but she wasn’t there. So, I ran to Ratan Kaka and told him. He said he will look for her and he told me to go back to the room. So, I went back to the room and waited. I fell asleep. When I woke up, Ma was in bed. She looked better. She told me to go to school. I said I wanted to stay but she wouldn’t listen. She helped me get ready and I left”

Khushi felt his fingers tightening in her hand but she didn’t let go.

“When I came back, Ma’s room was locked from inside. He was inside the room. I could hear him shouting at her. Ma was shouting too. I was afraid that he was hurting her. So, I knocked and knocked at the door. The shouting stopped and he came out of the room. He looked at me. His face...I knew Ma had slapped him. And I felt happy, Khushi. It made me feel happy” Arnav said, and looked at her.

Khushi’s own eyes had watered.

She felt her heart straining for the child he had been. For everything, he had to witness.

“He just left from there and I went inside. Everything in the room was smashed and scattered and Ma was crying in a corner. I sat with her. I asked if he had hurt her. She didn’t tell me anything. Later that night,I watched her sit on the chair in the room and write the letter. It was her last letter. Her suicide note! I didn’t know then what it was; what she planned to do. After dinner when I came back in the room..she was sleeping. Forever! I thought she was tired and had slept early. So, I snuggled into her and I slept too. I woke up the next morning. She didn’t. I tried to wake her up. I called her. I shook her but she didn’t move. I think I cried for hours before Ratan Kaka found me. He forced me away from her. He carried me downstairs and informed my father”

Khushi was aware of the tears flowing down her cheeks.  It was so similar to how she had found her mother. But, she had been older and known in one look that her mother was no more.

Imagining Arnav with his mother’s body, she had to fight down the sob that was building inside. She had no idea how bad it had been for him. She had asked him to forgive his father. But, listening to him, she felt resentment forming towards the man she had respected for so long.

Arnav was not looking at her. His eyes were distant and he seemed to be searching his memories.

“I don’t remember much what happened after that. I was not allowed out of my room. But, I know my father found the letter. He kept it with himself. It was not given to the police. Nani was informed. She came and she was so sad. She fought with him and the doctor. She said my father, with the help of the doctor, had proved before the police that she was mentally unstable. She was right. My father had hidden the letter and proved before the world that he was the unfortunate man stuck with a deranged wife. All that he did to her, the mental and physical pain he must have caused her, he was absolved of everything” The words brought the anger and hate back onto Arnav’s face.

Khushi watched him remove his hand from hers and he stood up, pacing the room.

Khushi waited for him to go on but he was running a hand through his hair, looking agitated.

“Arnav, calm down” She said softly.

He whirled towards her, as if realizing she was still in the room. His expressions changed from anger to menace and he took steps towards where she sat in the chair.

He kept walking until he was in front of her. Placing his hands on the arms of the chair, he leaned towards her. Her face was at level with his and Khushi could see the brown eyes burning, a hint of moisture in them.

“Tell me, Khushi! Am I wrong to hate him?” He asked her, staring into her eyes, her face. There was not even the hint of the man she had laughed with in the afternoon. For a second, she felt scared. She didn’t know this person. Didn’t know how he would react. She herself didn’t know what to do or to say.

So, she let instinct guide her.

She brought her palm up to his face and placed it against his cheek. She could swear he leaned a bit into the touch. Her own heart was beating wildly. She didn’t know why she was here, talking to him. She should have gone to Akash, or to Malik Uncle or to Doctor uncle. But, here she was!

Looking at his face, reading his pain in his eyes.

She caressed his cheek and his face eased a little.

“Am I wrong, Khushi?” He repeated, his voice turning hoarse, losing anger.

“Why did you leave, Arnav?” She asked him. It was the only thing she needed to know now, before she could keep the pieces together.

She brought her other hand up and cupped his other cheek, holding his face in her hands.

“I pushed him” He delivered the words and Khushi saw the guilt on his face for a second, before it was gone.

He pulled away from her and turned his back at her.

“Pushed whom?” She asked, although she could already guess.

He used a walking stick. She had seen Malik Uncle limp his way for years now. Initially, it was slight, but as his years grew, the limp had only gotten bad. So much so that on some days he could barely walk without his stick!

“Nani wanted me to come with her but he didn’t let me go. He said I might have been a mistake but I was still his son. I was the heir of Sheesh Mahal and I was supposed to carry forward the Malik name. I wanted to leave yet he kept me here. Nani could not do much in this city. She told me that she will come to take me when I was older. So, I stayed. I hated him yet I stayed. But, a lot of things changed after Ma was gone. The doctor stopped coming to the Mahal. My father stopped leaving his room at all. I would not see him for weeks and weeks. But, I didn’t mind it. In fact, I liked it. That was how I could survive in this Mahal for another two years. But, that day, he came back. The doctor! I could hear them arguing in this same library. My father was telling him about some property or hospital or something he had bought somewhere. But, the doctor was angry. He said that he cannot disrespect what my mother had written in her suicide letter. I didn’t know what it was. I had never seen the letter. But, it was then my father told the doctor. He admitted that he was the reason for her death. That she killed herself because she saw him cheating on her.

“It has nothing to do with you, Kumar. It is my mistake. Sujata killed herself because she saw what she shouldn’t have. She walked in that night”

“But, you told me she already knew. You said you had already told her before the wedding” Dr. Kumar was saying.

“I had told her. But, I didn’t tell her who it was” Malik’s voice had been a whisper.

“So, she saw everything that night?” Dr. Kumar’s voice was shocked, horrified.

“Yes” Malik said.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier, Malik? I could have talked to her. I could have saved her” Dr. Kumar’s had sounded very angry.

There was silence in the room and Arnav strained his ears from the outside.

“I didn’t think she will kill herself. I thought maybe she will finally leave me. Maybe she will finally realize that I don’t love her” The words were a whisper and Dr. Kumar threw something against a wall.

“You’re right, Malik. You let her die! You killed her. I wish I could hate you for it. I wish I could..”

The words had stopped when Arnav fell into the room, the door having opened because of him leaning against it.

“Arnav” It was the doctor who had spoken. Behind him, his father’s face had turned white.

“Why aren’t you in your room?” Malik had asked, nervous if he had heard everything.

But, Arnav had been blind with anger.

He knew what it meant to sleep with someone else. He knew what his father had done.

“I will tell everyone” He had shouted to his father.

“No! Arnav” Malik had taken a step towards him but Arnav was already running out.

He will tell Ratan Kaka. He will tell his Nani. He will tell the police. He will tell everyone who would listen.

But, he had barely reached the stairs when Malik had caught up to him.

“What did you hear, Arnav?” He asked him, holding him by the elbow.

But, Arnav wasn’t going to stop. He kept trying to break free.

Behind him, the doctor had emerged from the room and was asking Malik to leave the boy.

The sight of the two men who could have saved his mother but didn’t..was making Arnav angrier.

He didn’t know when and how but he used all his strength to push away his father.

To his horror, the man fell. Arnav hadn’t realized they were so close to the stairs. A little shove and Birendra Singh Malik was falling down three flights of stairs.

Doctor Kumar had shouted and run after his friend.

By the time he had reached him, Malik was already tumbling down to the second set of stairs.

Arnav saw the blood first and he knew his father was going to kill him too. Just like he had killed his mother.

So, he had run to his room and packed his clothes in his school bag. There was a wad of money that he knew was kept in his mother’s room.

He had grabbed it and was running out when he had collided into Ratan Kaka.

“Where are you going, Chote Saheb?” He had asked him but Arnav was shaking with fear. All he could think of was the blood on the stairs.

“Nani” He had managed to breathe out through his sobs.

“You can’t go alone. Come with me” The man had said and hugged Arnav before taking his hand and exiting from the back door of the Mahal.

Arnav had barely spoken when they had reached the railway station and Ratan Kaka had bought two tickets.

“I cannot come with you, Chote Saheb. But, this house is no longer the place for you. So, go with him. He is my son. He works here on the railway station. He will take you to your Nani’s house” Arnav had looked at the young boy who was about twenty years old and standing next to Ratan Kaka.

Arnav hadn’t said anything; hadn’t asked anything.

“I came with Sujata Bahu to this Mahal. But, I still serve the Raizada family. Tell that to your Nani, Chote Saheb” Ratan Kaka had said once Arnav was inside the train. The man had placed a trembling hand on Arnav’s head and left.

Khushi found herself stunned.  

The kindest man she had met in her life was cheating upon his wife and the wife knew about it. Yet, she loved her husband. But, the act of seeing it herself had finally pushed her off the rails. And from what Arnav told her, Malik Uncle had never been a good father to him. Let alone good, he hadn’t even been a father to him. Why did he hate Arnav then? And now? Did Arnav’s departure somehow lead him to realize what he had lost?

There were so many questions running in her head but everything could wait. Arnav had stopped talking and he still was looking the other way, his shoulders slumped.

She got up and walked in front of him. He looked at her with a question in his eyes.

The question he had already asked her.

She hadn’t given an answer yet.

He watched as she stepped closer and closer.

Khushi felt him stiffen when she placed her arms around his waist, her head on his shoulders.

“You are not wrong, Arnav” She said to him, hugging him.

She felt the tension leave his body and his arms circled her. Khushi wasn’t sure how long she stood holding him before footsteps sounded in the library.

“Bhai, I need to tal..” Akash’s words died in his throat as he saw Khushi and Arnav.

Khushi stepped away from Arnav and turned to Akash.

Akash noticed her wet eyes and then the look on his brother’s face. He could guess that he had missed something.

“When did you come?” He asked Khushi.

“About an hour ago” She replied.

Akash then turned to Arnav who was walking back to the armchair.

Akash looked back at Khushi and then at Arnav.

“Khushi, could you excuse us? I will talk to you later” He said to her.

He didn’t understand when Khushi looked at Arnav and he nodded at her to leave.

“I am going home, Akash. I will talk to you tomorrow” She then said to Akash.

“If you can just wait ten minutes, I will drop you” He said to her.

“Alright. I am outside” She said and left.

Akash watched his friend leave and then he walked up to his brother.

“I talked to Baba, Bhai” He said to him.

Arnav’s head turned to Akash.

“About what?” He asked Akash.

“About Sujata aunty and why you left” Akash said, sitting down before his brother.

Arnav nodded his head. So, that’s why his brother stood at the door today judging his actions.

“What did he tell you?” Arnav asked slowly.

“He admitted that it was his mistake that Sujata aunty killed herself”

 “What else?” Arnav nodded.

“There is too much, Bhai. You have to talk to Baba. He will tell you everything. He will tell you why he did what he did and you will see that it wasn’t really his mistake. He had to suffer a lot, Bhai” Akash’s words were urgent but Arnav’s head had become silent.

“You just have to talk to him once. That’s all. Once you know everything, you won’t be able to hate him, Bhai” Akash said, holding Arnav’s hand so that he would look at him.

Arnav turned his eyes towards his brother.

“You don’t hate him?” He asked Akash.

“Like I am saying, Bhai, you have to hear his side to decide tha..” Akash couldn’t finish his words for Arnav stood up.

Akash stood up too and noticed the anger in his brother’s face.

“IF LISTENING TO HIM WILL MAKE ME STOP HATING HIM THEN I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO HIM, AKASH” Arnav shouted the words and Akash flinched.

“All I know is that he is the reason my mother is not with me” Arnav continued with clenched fists.

 “He didn’t love her, Bhai. He loved someone else. And she knew that. She knew that and still, she forced him..” Akash stopped when he noticed that Arnav had sat down again, clutching his head between his hands, as if trying to block his voice.

He saw the slumped posture and vulnerability. Maybe he should have waited for this conversation.

 “Bhai” Akash placed a hand on Arnav’s shoulder, tentative.

Arnav didn’t respond.

“Bhai, I didn’t mean to..I don’t mean to hurt you. All I am saying..” Akash said.

“Leave me alone, Akash! Please” The words were heavy and exhausted when Arnav finally uttered them.

Akash didn’t want to leave. He wanted to talk to his brother and explain that he wasn’t against him. That he wanted his brother to be happy and step out of his past.

But, maybe he will have to wait a little longer.

So, he turned and walked out of the library.

~~**~~

“What were you thinking, Kumar?” Malik demanded from the doctor in the closed room.

Dr. Kumar didn’t answer.

“You know how much he loved his mother. She was his world. How can you just try to snatch that from him?” Malik continued.

Dr. Kumar maintained his silence.

“I didn’t expect this from you, Kumar. I never did” Malik shook his head.

A few seconds ticked by.

“I am not sorry” came the doctor’s response.

Malik who had just placed his walking stick aside and was about to sit down turned sharply at his friend.

“The way you deal with things, Malik, has never made sense to me. He has to know! I have been telling you this since the day he ran away. But you never listened to me. When you should have barged into Raizada Mansion and told him the truth, you tried to soften the blow by taking the help of Devyani Singh Raizada. But you always knew that woman was not worth trusting. Where do you think Sujata learnt the craft of lying? Your methods were wrong then and your methods are wrong now. Then you tried to use Devyani to get through to your son and now you are trying to get through to him using Akash!”

“So, this is what it is about? You’re on edge because I told Akash?” Malik stared at his friend.

“No! I knew Akash would know sooner or later. I just don’t like how you’re doing it. You should have talked to Arnav first. He has the first right on the truth. But, you told Akash and by doing that you are driving them apart” Dr. Kumar looked at his friend and delivered his honest words.

Birendra Singh Malik’s face flushed in anger.

“You think I don’t know that? I know who needed to hear the truth first. But, Arnav wouldn’t listen to me! Devyani Singh Raizada made sure of that” Malik said, heaving out the words.

Dr. Kumar remained silent. He knew Malik was right on that.

“What did you change in the will?” So, he broached the next topic.

Malik walked to the bed and sat down.

“Nothing of consequence” He replied.

“If you don’t want to..”

“Yes, I don’t want to. Not right now” Malik picked up the doctor’s sentence.

“Fine” The doctor said.

“Fine!”

“I will have my dinner here” Malik said.

Doctor Kumar didn’t object. Getting up, he left the room.

~~**~~

Khushi sat in the car waiting for Akash to come. Her mind was a complex mix of emotions. Learning everything from Arnav had shook her long held beliefs.

She had no reason to doubt him. She believed his every word.

But the truth still seemed impossible to swallow. How can her Malik Uncle have been so heartless to his own son?

Especially when he was so loving now? Khushi wondered if he had his reasons. But, can anything justify how he treated Arnav? No. Khushi decided.

She will confront him. She will ask him. She decided. She owed that much to Arnav. And to herself.

Khushi was still in thoughts when Akash slipped into the car. She noticed he looked thoughtful too. Thoughtful and gloomy!

“What’s on your mind?” She asked him once the car started.

“You go first” He said to her. She took a breath.

“I talked to Arnav. He told me everything” She said. Khushi expected Akash to be glad but he looked staggered.

“He told you what?” Akash asked her, still sounding surprised.

“About him and Malik Uncle. His mother. That’s what we were talking about when you walked in” Khushi provided.

“That’s…great! He told you” Akash stated.

“Yes” Khushi repeated her confirmation.

Akash remained quiet for two seconds and then turned to her again.

“So, he just told you? Like that? I mean you have met him like..four-five days ago? A week maybe?”

Khushi didn’t know what to say. She realized that Akash was indeed right. It has just been a few days since she met Arnav. But, she has known him for far longer. He has known her for far longer. Talking to him was so easy after he let down his guard.

Khushi couldn’t help but feel proud of the quick progress they had made in these few days.

“I know! But, we are friends now” She said to Akash.

Akash seemed to be having a hard time believing her.

“Friends? Just last night when I asked him about you he said you were “alright”. When did this friend thing happen?” Akash asked.

“That’s the important thing you want to know right now? I just told you that Arnav has talked to me” Khushi said, looking at Akash like he was absurd.

“Well, yes and no! I do want to know when this friend thing happened. And I am happy it happened. This is even great that Bhai talked to you. Now you can talk to him. You can tell him to talk to Baba. You can help, Khushi” Akash finally showed enthusiasm but Khushi felt her own spirit dimming.

“No” She said.

Akash looked at her. “What do you mean no?”

“I won’t tell Arnav to talk to Malik Uncle. Not if he doesn’t want to” Khushi cleared.

Akash looked at her like she was kidding.

“Why not? You said you will help me. Isn’t that why you have been trying to get to know Bhai? You have to talk to him, Khushi. I don’t think he will listen to me. At least not right now. But, if you talk to..”

“You’re not listening to me, Akash. I will not ask Arnav to do anything he doesn’t want to do. He has already been through a lot. Malik Uncle made him suffer a lot. I can see why he dislikes Malik Uncle. He has every reason..” Khushi said but Akash applied the beaks on the car and the car screeched to a halt.

“Khushi! God! Not you too. But, I can understand. Bhai must have told you only his side. Baba is not bad, Khushi. You, of all people, know that. He had his reasons. He was going through a bad phase” Akash said.

Khushi stared at Akash with open mouth.

“What are you saying? And how can you even say this? Why will you try to justify..”

“I am not justifying! Just like you talked to Bhai, I talked to Baba. He told me his side. Baba has also suffered in all this. If we see, it was no one’s mistake. It was just a bad time” Akash tried to explain.

“You talked to Malik Uncle? When? And I want to know how did he justify shutting out Arnav? How did he justify mistreating him when he was just a child? How did he justify being a bad husband..?” Khushi knew she was being hyper.

She should calm down.

“Calm down, Khushi” Akash told her, well aware she was anxious.

That was one benefit of knowing her too well.

She calmed down.

“I think both of us should sit together and tell each other what we learnt from both sides. Only then we can look at this matter in its full form. You know one side and I know the other and both of us are judging the people based on half-knowledge” Akash said.

“That’s the most logical thing you have said this week” Khushi agreed.

“Let’s drive to your house. We can talk there” Akash proposed.

“Sure” Khushi replied and Akash resumed driving.

_________________________________

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