Epi 87 Ch 17 The Couple Dynamics and the Baby Dream But Advay's truth hurts Chandani

Last chapter, we saw Advay's including Chandni in his professional world.  This Chapter is lot more and further about ADNI couple dynamics... This is Chapter 17 showing differences between thought process of Husband and wife, yet they match and move together in same direction... After all men are from Mars and We Women are from Venus, rrright?

At last, Chandni pulled her nose and looked in Dev's eyes... "At least now, you are not angry with your Katto?"

Her lips curved in a smile, and her innocent eyes danced with laughter...Smiling himself, he cupped her face and replied by driving his mouth down on her, kissing her until all his love,his strength was passed into his Chandu.

Dev was the light of her life. Darkness had conquered over while she had lost him... She was his moon, but had been holding craters of darkness which could get light only from sun...he was her sun...Now this unification, the connection of not just bodies but of souls... the sun was possessively illuminating her from within... not just marking her as his but truly making her as his own... transferring everything that was his to her!

When they broke finally, they were only lost in each other's desirous, longing, loving eyes...lost in the world of their dreams. 

She broke the silence, "You know something?... you must always get angry at me like this!"

Dev raised his eyebrows quizzically, "Whattt?"

"Yes, of course!" Her eyes shone with laughter... "Then I get this beautiful experience with you."

He threw his head back and laughed. He was completely smitten by her sanaki comical swag Chandu form.

"Come..." He drawled sexily.

"Nahi dev Abhi nahi...(No Dev, not now)" suddenly Chandni was worried.

"Can you not sit with me for two minutes?"

"Oh! Yes of course! I thought... " her voice trailed out while she shook the wild images from her head.

"You thought?????" he goaded her.

"Nothing...come let's sit!" 

"I thought someone just spoke about getting a beautiful experience!" He joshed her as usual.

"Not now! OK! Don't you ever think of anything else?"

"As if you do!"

Chandni blushed red as she sat down with him.

"Dev, wanted to say something..."

He again looked at her quizzically expecting some comical remark.

"Dev, this opportunity you are giving me to lecture your students, do you genuinely believe I can do it?"

"Yes, of course! I never do anything unless I am sure."

"Why are you sure?" She asked happily wanting to know the thoughts in his heart.

"Simple Chandni...Because your talk provokes thoughts and that in turn leads to further questions... That's an important trait for any researcher."

"Explain me what you mean..."

"You explained about why Laxmi mata, a symbol of prosperity as consort of Vishnu, the symbol of life. Then you explained about why Shiva-Parvati marriages again and again as a symbol of sexual reproduction. ...Now a mathematical mind like mine wonders there should be a scientific explanation to Brahma and Sarswati, too."

"There is, Dev! Very much is!" Chandni was excited. She loved explaining, 

"Brahma symbolises birth and Sarswati is goddess of knowledge, goddess of speech or communication...That's why before writing any strotra, the author prays to Sarswati to keep his language fluent. 

When do you first show knowledge, first communicate?...At Birth! The knowledge comes to the newborn that his environment has changed and he communicates to the world through his cry. That cry opens his lungs and starts the life process.Otherwise, it turns out to be still birth. 

That's the reason that Birth is symbolized by Brahma and Sarswati, the goddess of knowledge and Communication is his shakti, his consort. 

Same as Adya Laxmi(Original Mother) existed as Rama in all animal world, Adya Sarswati (Original Goddess) existed before humans were formed. The capability to speak and communicate was present in animals as well; most pronounced while used for mating calls like the Koyal and also to show anger like growling of Lion."

"Did you observe yourself just now? You are so excited about explaining...animated talk... You actually love doing it. And what any person loves doing, he always does it good!... So now you know why I am sure about you!" Dev pointed out calmly.

"You always know how to drive away worry and make my mood right, don't you?"

"Aren't you the same?" 

"For me, the best part is your taking genuine interest and appreciating whatever I say or do. It means the world to me, Dev." 

Chadni was emotional with gratitude. "One more thing, Dev! I genuinely liked your idea of gifting Pooja didi. You remembered her old wish."

"I remember everything, Chandu about everyone. I never forget."

"But I want you to learn to forget... forget Sasha,pleaaase." Chandni was pleading but she had now caught him in his words.

Dev's face darkened suddenly, his mouth clamped shut and his jaw clenched. It was clear he was not agreeing with Chandni and did not want to discuss further. Chandni knew her husband now. Once he refused something, he would never relent. She heaved a heavy sigh and decided to change the topic.

"Do you really not forget, Dev... I mean do you truly remember each and every thing I told you as a child."

"Do you doubt that, Chandu? I had raised that swing up while you sat on it... to stop that PP fellow from sitting with you to do the ritual...But the moment you panicked, I remembered your fear of heights and then I came and sat next to you, Didn't I?"

"Oh yes! You did. A superman like jump... bade hero bane phirate hai!(big hero you want to be!)" Chandu made a face teasing him. Dev pinched and pulled her nose.

"Of course, Katto! It has my Maths calculation in that jump... Not filmigiri!" 

"You must be the only guy using Maths to sit with his wife!" Both laughed heartily.

"Chandu, there's something more you haven't told me yet."

"Whaaattt?" It was Chandu's turn now to raise a quizzical brow.

Dev pointed out to the small cupboard in the far corner of the room. "What have you kept in that drawer and locked it?"

"Aaan... there?? Ammm... Actually nothing!" 

Chandni got up suddenly and ran to go out but Dev was too fast for her. He yanked her by her elbow just before she reached the door handle. Chandu kept resisting vehemently trying to pull her hand out. Dev lifted her putting his arm around her knees and swung her on his shoulder raunchily. Chandu kept kicking in the air loading her determination with a double dose of stubborn intent. But she was no match to his masculinity bundled in brutal package.

He dumped her on the bed. She tried getting up but he held her down trapping her under him... both her arms held above firmly by his hands and his knees holding her legs firmly not allowing her even to struggle. After futile trials she gave up. There was no escape from this man.

"You know me... rrrighttt, Katto?" He joshed her provocatively. "Come on! Show me what's in there."

He released her but stood formidably like a lion in her way to the door. She knew she had no escape. She took the key from her wardrobe and opened the drawer for him. He was right behind her. She turned and hid her face in his chest. He bent behind her and opened the drawer to take out the frame she had kept. He saw it and smiled putting his arms around her.

"Chanduuu... Baal Shiva?" 

Chandni blushed all the more and rubbed her face against the bristle of dark hair smattered across his chest left bare through the open top buttons. With her loving possessive touch, a jolt of electricity and heat passed to his groin and his heart swelled with love. She, at the same time,  sensed the warmth of his flesh sending a shot of pure sensation through her.

"Bol na ree, Katto! Bataa na mujhe!( Speak Katto, tell me!)" Dev coaxed his love with love.

"Mujhe yeh chaahiye.(I want this)"

"Yeh???(this???)"

"Yes! This one! Shiv is purity and Purity is beauty. ShivamSundaram! That beauty is so much enhanced in this baal roop. You are my Shiva...pure in your love, beautiful in your soul... but I have never ever seen your Baalroop. Since the time we played together, even as children, you have been the mature protector of me; but all the years I have been wondering how must have you been as a child yourself. I shall get to see that in our Achchu, my baalShiva."

Tender loving caring desire surged in his heart, reaching his mind, his soul, his being. She was his Chandni spreading her sweet moonlight in his dark life. He wanted to drink her in, absorb her into himself.  Passionately, he kissed her...the kiss increasing in urgency...their tongues entwined with a manic need to fuse together and become as one. Time and space lost all meaning; all that mattered was here and now, them, together. She felt dazed as if caught in clap of thunder in this fusing with him.

GIF created from A Advaychandni VM

When he broke, she was still in daze. He looked at her lovingly. ""I want two, Chandu!"

In daze, not understanding him completely , she opened her eyes.

"I Said, I want two. One for you like me... and then a girl for me same as you...bas Chhoti si katto( a small little katto)"

"Dhattt!"Chandni blushed totally and pushed him away and ran from there.

On her way to kitchen, Chandni saw Maasi looking disturbed.

"Maasi-ji , What's the matter?"

"Nothing, Chandni"

"Please do tell me Maasi-ji. You look so disturbed.Something is on your mind. I might not be able to help but you'll feel better if you share."

"Chandni, do you believe I am wrong in my thinking about Vashishts?"

"No Maasi. I do not believe so. But, I did not get your meaning clearly."

"Chandni, everybody in the house is treating me like I should not talk between anybody. Yesterday, even Advay said it. Today, Maa stopped me from intervening when Advay came angrily to kitchen to scold you...Nobody understands that my anger for Vasishths is not just for my sister.It's also for Advay. I have seen him burning in anger, in pain last seventeen years. An innocent boy turning into a dark man, I have witnessed! Maasi's voice rose in frustrated anger. " I don't want revenge for my own sake. I want it for Advay who's my son for me, I want it for my sister who was more important than my own self."

"You are right, Maasi. In this matter, you know much more than me. And I trust your intentions completely. Please do not hold against Dev for speaking angrily yesterday. He was supporting Miku. He did not have any intention of insulting you in any way. We, as family members, respect you hugely and we always will. Your advice will remain valuable for us. And do not ever believe that Dev and Veer think differently than you. It's just that they do not openly express their anger while your ways of expression are different." 

Chandni paused. Maasi smiled with her assurance again. Suddenly Chandni became thoughtful. How I wish I knew the journey of Dev into Advay... Her voice trailed out.

In the bedroom, Advay was thinking of Chandani's innocence.She was so pure, so guileless at heart and how he had thought about her all these years. Such absolute contrast! His own words eating at his heart, 

"Chandni fareb hai... Chandni Dhokha hai!" ( Chandni is deceit)

Every trouble she had to suffer after meeting him...Every time he had targeted her, pressurized her. He would have to now spend his remaining life just making up for her.

He had maligned her identity in Allahabad before coming to Mumbai. And now if she had to accompany him and Miku back to Allahabad, people would look at her with censure in their eyes. Meghu had told him' about the baby but Allahabad believed the baby to be Chandu's. He could not tolerate if anybody insulted Chandu on the baby issue and neither would it be right to angrily blurt out about the Baby being Meghu's. That would jeopardize Meghu's future.

Further, it would not be good for people to know that a baby was abandoned by this family. Any wrong action and people would rebel against the Mahant family. Already with Indrani's going to jail had shaken the faith of the people in Mahant Families. The whole matter was not clear to anybody and then, the rumors and Chinese whispers had made the matters much worse.

It was a delicate issue needing every step with a cautious thought. There was very little time since everything would need to be taken care of, otherwise people would not accept Chandni as Mahantani. It was not going to be easy, but he would do everything necessary to bring her honor.  This was going to be another battle to win!

How much mess as Advay he had created for Chandni, he would never ever forgive himself! And the worst being encouraging Sasha. Every life danger Chandni had to face only because he had allowed Sasha in his home. Advay knew Sasha was neither intelligent nor daring enough to plant a bomb. It was Jimi papad king's doing.

 "I'll make you a pauper Mr. Jimmy Papad king. All your arrogant ego is because of your wealth, I shall take away all your wealth, I swear! You tried burning my Chandu? I'll turn you into ashes!"  Advay gritted angrily.

It was late afternoon. Naani and Maasi sat happily relaxing waiting for the girls to return home from shopping. Miku had accompanied Advay to office and returned back for lunch. Adi and Miku were now playing on their gaming station. Soon, Pooja, Shikha and Chandni returned, all giggling. All three were excited to tell about their shopping spree for the upcoming trip.There was enthusiasm and laughter in the air.

"Thank you so much, Pooja didi. You showed us around otherwise I and Shikha would feel completely lost in the city."

"It's Ok, Chandni. Shopping is always my pleasure and I just took you two along. We did have fun, didn't we?" 

"Yes, Pooja beta, you must have enjoyed. Yet, I understand Chandni's gratitude in having you to make them comfortable. It's a very important female sensitivity. When a young woman leaves her comfortable place and comes to a new life of hustle bustle, she can feel lost. It happens with any woman marrying and moving to another place. There's a movie based on this female sensitivity and a beautiful song that gives a good message on life.

"Which one, Naani?

Naani started humming her favorite song,

"Yeh jeevan hai, iss jeevan ka Yahi hai yahi hai Yahi hai rang Roop

( The life that this is... this is the colour of life!)

Thode gam hai, thodi khushiyaan, Yahi hai yahi hai yahiChhaav dhoop.

(Some grief, some happiness, this itself is life's sun and shade)

Maasi joined with her mother,

"Yeh na socho iss mein apni haar hai ke jeet hai

  Usse apna loh job hi jeevan ki reet hai.

(Don't fret your mind around whether it's a win or a loss for you... just embrace the ways of life as they come to you)

So even when I married and went to London, It was difficult for me. Same as it must be difficult for all women who migrate after marriage. It's a big change management. Luckily, my husband invited Maa to live with us when Pooja was born. Because Maa was with us; our Indian roots remained intact and we, especially Pooja, did not become completely westernized though born and brought up there."

"Wow! It's so interesting to know about you all and your past. One can hardly make out that all of you are from London. Didi, you must show us your younger day photographs and also Jiju's."

"I'll show you that same avatar in this Europe tour, Shikha. Jaisa Desh, vaisa Bhesh!" Pooja answered happily grinning from ear to ear. 

(When you're in Rome, dress like Romans)

"Shikha! "A loud angry call pierced sharply through the laughter. It was an angry Veer from behind, "Where were you? Why did you not inform me where you were going?" Veer's voice was rising in an angry octave.

"Why are you yelling at her like that? You had gone with Bhaiyya to office when we left. We had informed Naani and Maa before going."

"That's true, Miku. As long as one person is informed in the family it's OK. And she's not your wife yet to report to you everything." Maasi countered.

"No Maasi, It's OK. It was wrong of me to not tell him and take permission beforehand. I am sorry." Shikha's mood was suddenly changed from the original chirpy one. Veer walked towards her.

"It's not about taking permissions,  Shikha. I was worried about you." Veer consoled her; his anger having cooled down.

"Awww... Just look at this new Tota Maina in the family." Pooja teased and everybody laughed.

"All jokes apart, it worries me that men of this family have started yelling at their wives for every smallest thing. Miku, Shikha has a different mentality than Chandni. If you yell at Shikha like Chiku does on Chandni, it may or may not work between you two, beta! And I do not approve of such attitude." advised Naani from her wisdom.

"I am sorry, Naani, I lost my temper.  These girls took so long to come. They were not there for lunch also. I missed them. I'm sorry Shikha."

"No please. Don't say sorry to me. I was also missing you."

"Awww...Piya piya Oh Piya Piya," teased Pooja again.

Adi came running to Chandni. "Maami mera project karna hai (My project is due)."

"Yes Aadi. I'll just get fresh and come over to your room."

NehaSays : small pause, get a drink, relax n njoy further 

Chandni, Shikha and Pooja were working on Aadi's project.They were half done through the project work, when Miku came in with files and papers. "Bhabhi, Bhaiyya wants you to sign these documents."

"Your Bhaiyya has come?" Excited with happiness, Chandni got up from her place. Shikha and Pooja smiled at her excitement.

"Mishra Ji has come with the documents, Bhabhi. Can Bhiyya come this early?" Miku consoled Chandni but her face fell.

"Are you missing him,Bhabhi?" Miku asked specifically knowing the answer in his heart already.

Chandni just kept looking at her toes.

"Bhaiyya was very busy in the morning. He said he had to finish the tasks in office hours itself." Miku had a twinkle in his eye which no one understood.

"What documents are these?"

"Legal documents for your marriage registration and official name change with new passport."

Chandni blushed at the thought of her new name.

"What name exactly? Jiju himself has so many names in his passports." Shikha teased.

"Shikha!"Chandni's voice echoed in anger for the first time,"Jab man kare, muh uthaaye kuchh bhi kah deti hai. Thoda bhi sochati nahi. Voh bade jethji hai tere.

(Whenever you feel like, you just open your mouth and say anything that comes to your mind. You don't think at all, he's your elder brother in law) " Chandni was very angry.

"Bhabhi is right, Shikha. You need to think and weigh your words before you speak. Bhai was discussing with me today that you need to change your ways to match up Mahantani mannerisms as expected from people. You cannot remain the same effervescent Shikha. Shikha that goes to Allahabad now will have to be a different far more mature Shikha."

"And Shikha, his name is Advay Singh Raizada. A name people reckon with, not just here in India but also abroad!" Pooja replied with huge loyalty to her brother.

"I am sorry." Shikha felt remorse at her words.

"Vaise Bhabhi, Mohan has come and Bhai wants you to come with him to some meeting place."

"Now? I have been out almost whole day till now and I am doing Adi's project now."

"If he has called you must go, Chandni. As such Ma is taking me and Adi to the temple for some pooja for Aadi."

"Yes, we have to leave now...Chandni, will you be Ok to go alone?...otherwise you can go with Miku... Advay should have come himself to pick up Chandni. Unnecessarily putting her in risk.", Maasi had come from behind.

"I cannot go Maasi." Miku was too fast in reply. Everybody was stunned. To divert their attention Miku spoke quietly, "Bhai does everything with a lot of thought. If he has called Bhabhi, he will take complete care of her. Enjoy yourself, Bhabhi!"

Miku smiled at heart as Advay had already updated him on what Advay was planning.

When Chandni reached the place, Advay was already there in his car. He smiled as Chandni got out and Chandni felt her entire world lighting up with his sunshine smile.

"You called me, here?" Chandni was not clear about his plans.

"To prove to you, that I do not forget anything. Not about Pooja, neither about you. We are going for a play drama 'Shakuntal'. You remember,rrright... from our childhood?" he drawled smiling.

Chandni was completely stunned. A small wish she had expressed to Dev when they were children and not allowed to go for dramas in Allahabad. It was just one of many of her regular badbads...just a small talk then to express her wish to see Shakuntal. 

She had found the story intriguing then without knowing she could relate with it one day. She had almost forgotten the incident. Yet, her husband remembering her small talks done more than seventeen years ago and wanting to fulfill her wish now was something else. Her heart swelled with love and pride for Dev.

As they moved, Chandni noticed the security saluting to Advay. She hadn't expected that in the theater. She smiled. As they moved, press suddenly mobbed them. Advay could feel Chandni tensing momentarily. He put her hands round her shoulders and waved away the press. In a minute,security gathered Advay Chandni and restricted the mobbing press. 

Advay could sense Chandni relaxing under his touch. The press was requesting for a picture. Advay did not want Chandni to get tensed. 

He was about to deny when Chandni put her hand on his arm, "It's OK, Dev. There is no fear when you are here.........Aap Paas Hai toh mujhe koi dar nahi." 

Advay smiled at her. They posed for the pictures.

Dev bent close to her ears and whispered, 

"Chandu, ek baat hamesha yaad rakhana. Main paas nahi isska matalab yeh nahi ki saath nahi."

( Chandu always remember My not being near does not mean that I am not with you)

Chandni was startled. All through her life, she had been telling herself the same about him. He was always her strength even when he was not around. But she had never imagined him feeling the same. Yet, here he was confirming that he was always with her even though not near her.

In shared happiness, they climbed the stairs to the upper floor. Many eminent looking people were greeting Advay. Whoever came close, Advay introduced her to them as his wife and also told her who they were. There was Sanskrit professor from Mumbai University, a lady with Masters in Sanskrit...There were also business heads from Advay's office. Chandni was left wondering at this mix of audience. She could not gauge as to how come so many of the audience were known to Advay.

Advay took her to the box. Chandni noticed they were special seats from where the stage could be easily seen completely. The play started soon and a pensive mood permeated both their hearts...a lost look...both were  taken into the moment ...

The moment which portrayed the emotions of Shakuntala, a lover having loved with all her heart and then separated from her love...crashing, ebbing, peaks, troughs, anger,hate, love. What all they knew not... all they could do was let it pull them in. Tears were flowing freely through Chandni's eyes. Interim, she looked at him and was stunned!

The face of a lover ... a storm in his eyes ...He was not seeing the actress, he was not seeing Shakuntala either... He was seeing his love, Chandni,...sending letters through the Ganges, sending lanterns through the skies... 

He had become a lover empathizing the torment of his love... ... His love who had suffered for all through the years of separation... a cascade of memories swirling inside him...

"Advay Singh Raizadaki jindagi mein pyaar aur maasoomiyat ke liye koi jagaha nahiin..." (There is no place for love and innocence in Advay Singh Raizada's life)

He had said so, he had believed it even more all through the years of separation... yet, she had always been there...had left her mark and it throbbed in more than any physical pain..

Chandni squeezed his hand with love, with compassion... Dev looked at her with a swirl of emotions in his eyes...love, gratitude, apology,helplessness... Whatever was portrayed in the play was helplessness of Shakuntala and Dushyant... Whatever had happened in their life had also been beyond their control making them utterly helpless... She looked at him with all her love in her eyes. Then, she lifted his palm and pressed her lips on it...appeasing the pain in his heart. He wiped her tears softly with his thumb. Both watched the happy re-union of Shankuntala and Dushyant at the end hand in hand. Theirs was also very much a happy re-union now.

As both stood up Chandni squeezed Dev's hand in love. "Mujhe aapka gussa, aapka krodh manjoor tha; par aapka mujhe bhool jana nahi.

(I was Ok with you being angry with me but not ok with you forgetting me.) 

You were never like Dushyant. You remembered me even in your hatred, didn't you always?" 

"Hamesha!(Always!)" Dev squeezed her hand back.

Everybody was leaving together and there was a crowd in the corridor. For a moment, Dev left Chandu's arm and she moved ahead...Suddenly without realizing she was in a crowd...getting pushed ahead... In panic, she turned behind but Dev was not to be seen... She panicked further...she wanted to go back and search for him but the crowd kept pushing her. Nobody would allow her to go backwards, she just had to move ahead. 

Chandni severely tensed and shivered momentarily but then Dev's face came in her memory. His words reverberated in her ears, "You will always remember our moment together and never ever fear again." He had said it was his battle against her phobias and she was his "Shakti."

 He had claimed, "Advay Singh Raizada kabhi nahi haar sakataa!" ( ASR never loses)She would not let him lose this battle either.

Consciously, Chandni took control over herself. She fiercely told herself,

 "Dikhate nahi par mere saath hai voh. Mere Bholenaath hai voh!" 

( he's not seen, but he's with me always, he's my innocent god)

He had just a while back confirmed with her that he was always with her, no matter what!

I will not allow myself to panic. This is just a theater and nobody is going to kidnap me here. Dev will never let such thing happen. Even if he is not seen at the moment, he will himself find me soon. 

Chandni went along with the crowd till the exit of the Theater and then got out of the crowd slowly. She waited for Dev to come but he was not to be seen. People all dispersed and she was alone after a while. Her eyes kept searching constantly for Dev, her gaze almost pleading him to come. 

Five minutes passed ...it felt like longest five years of her life but she kept her resolve to not let her Dev lose the battle. She remembered every step he had taken to let his love conquer over her fears. He had wanted her to conquer over her fears and she would do it. She would do it for him.

Unfortunately, she did not have her mobile with her to call him up. She could not see their car either. Should I go to the parking and wait near the car or should I go inside the theater and search for him. She pondered for a while and then went inside looking for the theater manager. She found his cabin.

"Hello, I am Mrs. Advay Singh Raizada. We had come to watch the play but I am unable to locate him at the moment. Could you please arrange to check if he is inside somewhere." She spoke with calm composure.

"Yes, of course madam. I'll go and search personally. He must have gone to men's toilette. I'll be back in a short while. You can wait here."

"No. it's OK. Please tell him I am waiting for him in the car park." Confidently Chandni walked out of the theater again.

Advay had been watching the whole occurrence from long distance with extreme satisfaction and pride for his wife.. He had planned the entire incident right from booking the whole theater for special play and organizing her favorite play. Then he had planned leaving her to check her reactions. She had outdone his expectation. He loved her new confident avatar far more. 

A true Mrs. Chandni Advay Singh Raizada!

This was so important before they went on honeymoon because he didn't want any untoward incident to happen for her there. Further, this was his first step to ensure that she would be able to face the crowd, the public in Allahabad as the Mahantani. His own mother had been a strong woman and people had respected her as much as they respected his father. He wanted them to know Chandni as an equally strong woman and not as a cowardly girl who did not dare to step out of her home. His first win had happened with Chandni making him win.

Once seated in the car, Chandni questioned him, "Where were you?

"I met someone and stood talking and then I had to go to the men's. Were you alright?"

"Yes, absolutely!" She said proudly raising her chin. Then she blushed, "actually, I wasn't. But then I thought of you, your words. That made me feel alright."

Dev appeared totally sanguine that she had been out of his sight for this long. An insidious suspicion took root in Chandni's mind. Suddenly, she knew that all this had been planned by him and was not a natural occurrence. 

"How come you know so many eminent people? Aur yeh aapke office ke bade log kyun aaye the play dekhane?(and why your office seniors had come to see the play?)"

"I know many people, yes! And if my business heads want to watch the play, I cannot stop them." He was being nonchalant. She noticed him being deliberate about it.

"How come the security was saluting you and protecting us from the press and where did they suddenly disappear now?"

Dev chose silence. Chandni continued.

"How come the crowd suddenly start pushing me ahead? Especially, all being elite people. And how come you suddenly let go of my arm?How come you were gone for so long? And why was the manager looking so comfortable when I told him you were missing."

"Sorry Katto, I don't know what you're talking about." He couldn't resist his lips curling into a half smile.

"Why don't you spill your truth now?" Chandni was smiling herself, "You planned this whole thing, right? Last time you had consciously told me to manage alone. This time you just left me to manage on my own, didn't you?"

Dev just gave her a happy smile as reply and squeezed her hand with love, "Thanks, Chandu. You helped me win today."

They proceeded to a posh rooftop restaurant where a table was already booked for them at the farthest corner.The view from their table was spectacular. Dev pulled out her chair for her.She smiled and took her place.

"Dev, I am sure you never do anything without a lot of thought. Why did you want to assure yourself that I had conquered over my PTSD?"

"Simple Chandu! You are my wife and I don't want my wife to fear anybody or anything ever in life. That's it!"

"You had taken Miku with you to office. Some important discussions? If too private between you two, then you need not share with me."

"I discussed about the baby issue.He suggested that we must get DNA test done with you to show that you are not the mum."

"Whaattt? That's absurd...and what shall we achieve by proving that? Will that not jeopardize Meghu's future?"

"Chandu... learn to trust me. I shall never ever let any harm come to you or to any of your loved ones. Miku's suggestion is not entirely wrong. I think we must get the DNA test done for now; we can decide whether to use it or not later."

Chandu was lost in thoughts...he was always an utterly perplexing puzzle...he was her love yet so unknown...almost a mystery...Would she ever know him completely?

"What's on your mind, Chandu? Speak it out..."

Chandni hesitated. But then she pulled up her strength and placed her hand over his on the table, " Would you share your journey from Dev to Advay...how did it happen?"

"It happened the day, the hour, the moment my Maa-Baba were killed so brutally. Dev died along with them."

"No. Don't ever say that! Dev is mine; he cannot die. I will not let him die." Chandni was emotional.

Advay pressed her hand reassuring her, "Yes Chandu. I am yours... whether Advay or Dev, I am always yours!"

"You are, right? Then tell me every detail. Share every pain of yours through each of those nights.

Agar Mujh se muhobbat hai, mujhe sab apne gham de do

Inn aakhon ka har ikk aasoon, mujhe meri kasam de do"

(if you love me, give me all your sorrows

My vow to you  'give me each tear from your eyes)

Advay's eyes were moist with tears brimming at their edge. He remembered the day...

"What Indrani YashNarayan Vasishth did to us was really horrid. She tricked you into bringing the mob to our secret place. I had to run with Miku. As you already know I had to throw my little brother out of the train to save him from goons. They had followed us into the train... Then I jumped myself... 

Luckily, I fell in a river, a tributary of the Ganges... so in a way, the Ganges saved me,kept me safe...I was found by a fisherman family... I was unconscious for three days... 

The pain had perhaps been so deep that it had obliterated through my conscious thought...or maybe nature's process to let body heal while the mind was left unable to sense any pain... had I not been unconscious, I could have simply died of the sheer pain of losing my whole family at the blink of the eye."

Chandni pressed his hand again... all her emotions evident in her eyes... with tears brimming at their edge too.

"When I came back to consciousness, I somehow managed to contact Maasi in London. She came down with Naani and young Pooja immediately. Somehow, Indrani had kept goons as informers who gave the news of Maasi's coming to her. Maasi decided to have my name changed for the passport then. She literally smuggled me out of India as Advay Singh Raizada hiding me from everyone...I had to keep my face covered without raising suspicion...

I was so very pained at my heart but Maasi warned me not to shed a tear and attract attention of people. At that time, every tear of mine got confabulated as hatred against you, the image of Vasishths in my mind!"... Emotions thickened Advay's deep voice.

"She had me entered in official documents as her son so that any association with Kashyap name should not lead Indrani's goons to me. I wanted to go back and search for Miku; but she advised me against it as it would put both of us in risk. 

She was so very worried for me... so very pained for Maa... Maa was charred to death and her death has charred Maasi for life!"

Chandni squeezed his palm again absorbing the tremble in him from the force of his emotions.

"After going to London I worked real hard and did everything needed to amass wealth and power."

"Everything meaning?"

"Everything meaning every required thing to become rich in short time."

Chandni looked shocked and confused both from this sudden revelation.

"Why do you look so surprised, Chandni. Doodh ka dhoola nahi hoon main. I am not all innocent. Not in any respect and I won't lie to you about it."

"Not in what all respects?"

"What specific respect are you interested in?"

Chandni hesitated again...If he told her some truth; was she really ready for it? The biggest doubt in her mind was about his girlfriends as to how close they had been and then also about his passports.

"Tell me, Chandu! What's bothering your mind so much? My physical relationships?" He looked at her and she nodded her head. He answered very calmly, "Yes! I have had in London...rather many... As I said, Doodh ka dhoola main nahi raha.( I am not whitewashed pure person any more)"

He could feel the sudden pressure in her grip on his palm...as if , she was taking a grip on her heart. He could feel her body shaking from the force of emotions in her heart. He knew instantly that it was difficult for her to digest. Yet he did not want to sugarcoat it or justify it in any way.

" With Sasha, too?"Chandni's voice trembled.

"Yes, Sasha too!" 

He could see the physical droop of her shoulders as if something very important had been lost ...Sudden tears sprang to her eyes. 

Advay got up from his seat and put his hands on her shoulder wanting to convey his reassurance through his touch. But she was mentally not ready to accept this. She shrunk physically from his touch... first time, he realised. She needed space and time...

He was ready to give her that. He went back to his seat fixing his gaze on her face, absorbing every smallest change in her.

"Then isn't she right in wanting to marry you? Who can blame her that she tried killing me?"

"Just because I had physical relationship with her does not mean I should marry her. Going by that measure , I would have more than your Krishna's ashtnaayikas.( eight consorts of Krishna)"

 Advay joked to make her feel better but instead her eyes widened further and the brimming tears broke through the barrier of her lids and rolled down. Cursing himself in his heart, Advay tightly shut his eyes wanting to block his vision of her tears and how they made him feel.

" Listen Chandu! ..." he tried consoling her again, " It's only you who were on my heart all the time...If I have had relations, it's been purely on physical level... a common thing in western culture... you do understand that, Chandu... don't you?" Advay was almost pleading her, wanting her to accept him with all his truths.

"Can we please leave. It's getting late." Chandni's eyes were hugely pained but her voice was ice chill.

"Chandu, we are talking......." Advay was both shocked and concerned at Chandu's response. He would have preferred discussing it completely. 

"Can we please leave. I want to go home."

"Chandni, finish your dinner at least..." Advay was really pleading now.

"Please let us leave, Dev. Mujhe bhook nahi hai. Not hungry anymore"

Knowing that any further coaxing would be in vain, Advay got up from his seat. Not even waiting for the bill to arrive, he just threw a pile of notes on the table and walked out with her... absolute silence between the two!

As soon as they stepped out, they were blinded by sharp flashlights... 

"What the!"Advay grabbed Chandu's arm protectively and waved away the press that had collected there to click his pictures. " Not now!" he said but Chandni stopped him.

" it's OK, Dev!" She smiled, "This is how life is going to be while with you always! I will have to get used to this kind of press attention."

" Chandni, I am sorry. Today morning, important news has come out about the company; hence these people suddenly everywhere. You don't have to do it, if you don't feel like it."

Chandni smiled again, wider this time... " It's OK, Dev. Let them click. Let's stand in pose."

Advay opened the car door for her, wanting to connect now that she had smiled... He wondered... maybe she's OK.

" Chandu... thanks for allowing that shoot... any wrong step from our side and this media will create drama around it... I want to keep the shareholders happy."

There was total silence. Stone faced Chandni sat in the car...She was unreachable.

Advay drove the car in silence. His eyes turning to watch her again and again... his heart not knowing what to say!

" Maami!...Maami!...Maami!" Aadi ran to his sweet CM as soon as she stepped inside the door. She hugged him happily.

"Aadiii... let her come in at least!" Pooja scolded behind him.

"He used to do this with me first... now It's Chandni." Advay smiled at Aadi.

"How was the outing, Chandni?" Pooja inquired happily.

"Bahut Sunder Di! Very relaxing and very enjoying an experience! He took me for Sanskrit Shakuntal play. It was wonderful!", a beaming Chandni replied. 

Advay looked sharply at her in surprise. Chandni continued, " And then Di, we went out for dinner... Did you people have dinner?"

"Yes Chandni! All have had dinner and retired to their rooms. I am waiting because Aadi would not listen. He's waiting for the project...and I am happy that you both enjoyed. Bhaiyya relaxed after years, I think... right Bhaiyya?"

"Yes Pooja...after seventeen years maybe!"

"I shall change and come, OK Aadi? And please bring your project to study, let's sit there. I'll need to check kitchen as well. "Chandni left in a  hurry. Advay followed her.

In the room, there was silence. Advay waited till Chandni changed. When she came out, she had his clothes in hand...Advay got up from his place to take them but she kept clothes on bed, avoiding him.

" Kapade rakkhe hai... Change kar lijiyega.(kept your clothes...get changed)" her voice was stony. 

Without another word or a look at Dev, Chandni left the room and went straight to kitchen.

Advay stood exasperated in the imbroglio that once again life brought him to!

Chandni was cleaning the kitchen vehemently... everything was in mess when she was not around as per her... but she did not do her usual muttering... all her frustration was coming out in her scrubbing force...

Advay had changed clothes and followed her to kitchen... he saw her back frame moving with the force of her scrubbing...something dangerously tender stirred in his heart. Every cell in Advay's body wanted to unify with her. He knew she hungered for him the same way he hungered for her for her, it throbbed between them like a constant flow of electricity. 

But he went still, waiting for her to respond to him. This was new territory and it wasn't comfortable. He wanted to wipe out that expression of hurt he'd seen in her eyes in the hotel, pretend he'd never seen it. He wanted to wipe out the fact that something very simple and factual... not worthy of another thought maybe...was proving to be far more tangled than he'd ever anticipated.

"Chandu... "He went and stood behind her. Luckily, she did not shrink from him. "Chal na... room pe chalate hain( come...let's go to our room)"

"I'm doing kitchen work. It's in a mess.I'll have problems tomorrow morning." She cut him out. He left kitchen in anger and proceeded to Naani's room.

Naani was doing her chanting... luckily for Advay again, Shikha was not in room.

"Chiku, you returned? Come... come to me!" Naani invited Advay with love. He walked to her and straight kept his head in her lap... Naani caressed his hair. 

" What's the matter Chiku? I had imagined you to return happily with Chandni. What happened between you two again? Did you yell at her for something?" Naani's voice was concerned.

"Naani, she's angry with me."Advay was very hurt.

"Why?"

"I told her about my girlfriends and she is angry about it."

"Isn't that natural, Chiku? Who in this world would be happy after hearing her husband's colourful past?"

"But Nani I told her the facts...my heart was not involved with anybody!"

"Yes! I know that! But you must give Chandni time... It's not easy for her to accept!"

"But Naani, I cannot change the past now!"

"Yes! But you can change the future, right? Give her happiness, let her know that your heart is only with her and her alone... She'll recover slowly, you just have to keep trying, beta! 

Marriage happens in a moment but requires lifetime hard work to thrive happily!"

"Par Naani, voh maanati nahi( naani, she doesn't listen)"

" Arre! Tu pahale jaake manaa toh!" Laughing she pushed him away as Shikha was entering the room.( First go and try and persuade her!)

Advay came back to kitchen. Chandni had finished cleaning. Advay went close to her and held her hand.

"Chandni chal, mujhe sone jaana hai...Come!"

(( come on, I need to  sleep)

"You go and sleep. I have work."

"Pativrata Naari, aur acchhi bahu ke kya lakshan the...Shayaneshu Rambha...what was that?" 

( The dutiful wife and a good daughter in law...what were the qualities of those... the sexy nymph in bed)

He curled lips in his typical sensual curve.

"What other work is more important than being with your husband may I know?"  He drawled sexily.

"Aadi!"    

She replied calmly choosing to ignore his other words and refusing to rise to his bait. She got her hand released and walked out leaving him exasperated once again!

Every minute seemed like an hour to Advay. Time was just not passing waiting for her in their room. He did not want to lie on bed without her. He took his bedding and walked to the hall... Lying on the sofa there he kept thinking about her... was she expecting him to lie about his relationships?Would that have been acceptable? And now, they could reconcile life ... but she chose to be with Aadi as if Aadi's project could not be done tomorrow!...Advay was getting bugged with her non reconciling attitude now!

"Bhaiyya? What's the matter with you? Why are you sleeping here on sofa? Phir se Jhagada ho gaya kya? (have you both had a fight again?)"

"She looked happy just a while back... did you say or do something to her?" Pooja came in.

"What's my fault? What have I done? She's the one doing Aadi's project till so late... what am I supposed to do alone in room?"

"Uff! Yeh Chandni bhi na! Aur Aadi bhi kum nahi hai... yeh koi vakt hai project karate baithane ka?... 

(This Chandni, girl! And Aadi is also not any less! Is this some right time to do school project?)

and why could you not tell Chandni? All of you act like little kids... some or other argument all the time! You go to your room, I'll tell her to do Aadi's work tomorrow... Go Now! Immediately!"

"Don't scold Aadi about anything!" Advay warned.

"Yes I know, Aadi's all time protector!" Pooja made a face at him.

Advay was in his room waiting for Chandni to return and wondering where to start his explanation when she came... or maybe just kiss her and make her forget everything. Suddenly he heard her anklets and waited but door did not open and she did not come in. Anxious, he got up and came out of the room.

She was dancing alone in darkness... Advay was baffled at this new avatar now...she had once danced before like this but she was in extreme pain then...because my agreeing to marry Sasha...that time there was no trust between us...

But haven't we come a long way from that? I have never ever broken marriage vows even when I did not acknowledge her as wife. I have taken all the vows again with her in true faith. Doesn't that count after I tell her some truth about me... Is it the same stage again now? Is she equally pained again?...just because I have a past?

Advay walked towards her... she was dancing in abandon... as if releasing a pain inside her...Advay watched her anxious...

How good the day has been between us... watching the dawn together; my convincing her for honeymoon in London; my including her in my professional life...

why does it happen again and again that day ends like this? In spite of all my efforts, why can I not make her happy in marriage?... Advay was lost in anxious thoughts.

In her free dance, she twirled and twirled...she came towards him and suddenly fell in his arms.

He held her close...very close... "What's the matter,Chandu? Why this dance again?" 

She did not answer. He lifted her up and came inside the room. "Tell me, Chandu!"

"Yes! I want to tell you..."Chandni was hugely pained. "You truly liked that I allowed the photo shoot to happen with press, right? "

Advay nodded. 

"just now, you brought me inside to discuss matter between us, right?" 

In bafflement, Advay nodded again... 

"Then why do you not seek this solitude for discussion when you are angry? Why do you yell at me in front of the whole family?"

Advay was thoroughly shocked. He had not at all anticipated this. He had mentally prepared himself for the other discussion but this was coming out of blue suddenly... a completely unknown territory. He kept looking at her wide eyed.

"Dev, do you not believe that having taken all vows again,our marriage should now move to next level? Can we not discuss our differences in privacy? The same way as shareholders are important for you, this family is important for me... and our marriage needs to have a good image in the family...why should the family believe or worry that there are fights among us...should that not remain between just two of us?

Just a while back, because I did not come to the room, you took the bedding out and Pooja didi knew there had been tiff between us. Earlier, you yelled at me in front of the family, in front of the staff!.......... Why so, Dev? The way you brought me inside now, can you not control that angry outburst till we reach our room?

And then you are the elder of the family... when you yell all the time, others start behaving same as you... Today Miku yelled at Shikha...tomorrow Aadi will yell at his wife! Why do we set such example in front of the youngsters? Can we not buffer the family from our fights and arguments?"

"I am sorry, Chandu! I promise, it will not happen again. I will control myself...now that we are in the privacy of our room, will you give me a patient hearing?"

"Yes Dev! "

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NehaSays:

Hope you gals liked the roller coaster of ADNI couple dynamics.... so much happening....and mark Advay's bold statement I am not near you does not mean I am not with you..... This will come back later to Chandni in a crucial trial of life.

And that dialogue! Just tells me how much I love Barun in all his roles. This dialogue was his last in IPKKND as Arnav.

What the! ...... Always!........ I will never ever forget or let go of Arnav's ways.love forever!

And his loaded Rrrrright? as Haider from Tanhaiyaan. Reminiscing every act of his.

Chapter Context

Aadya Laxmi, Aadya sarswati is The original Scientology in ancient India. You might be interested; so do check earlier chapters from 1st page link, for more info.

Shakauntal is adapted Drama from Meghdoot, an ancient Epic of Kaalidas! A beautiful enthralling love story where an estranged lover sends across her message making the cloud her messenger......Shakuntala and Dushyant's son in King Bharat on whom India was named as Bhaarat. 

Check out the love story on google. You'll enjoy it!

Shakuntala story

"Yeh jeevan hai" is a beautiful song with lots of life teaching in simple words. Do check the lyrics sung in beautiful voice of legendary Kishor Kumar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNHbax_kcq4

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