Epi 83 Ch13 Maha Episode Celebrating love....... A poignant moment in lovers' life

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This is not a chapter... it's kind of a VM... like watching an actual episode... each expression and then the complementing expression !

This episode is not be read... it's to be felt, to be experienced... it's not about my writing, neither story; it's all about the way an actor portrays the character! 

The story has come to a standstill... a poignant moment in lovers' life... very similar to what we experience in our lives...a loved one hurting you badly and then repenting it and making up to you...here each emotion is scaled much higher ... because this is ADNI, childhood sweethearts unifying after sixteen years... so the turmoil is much bigger, much deeper and family gets pulled in the vortex.

So don't read this episode, see it in your mind's eye... linger on each expression of Barun........Barun's eyes speak volumes... and they don't, when he closes them, there is a world of significance in it...he doesn't need big dialogues...I have not given either...just few dialogues, at some places just one, as if Barun is actually saying it... so watch the expression in his eyes...

To bring out emotions, I have used songs and poetry... rather I reminisced my own shaayari and poetry after more than two decades while writing this... I am sharing my own emotions, you share your feelings after reading... feel each song with all emotions ... sing it in your heart the way it's sung... and experience the whole thing! 

Advay was completely submerged in Chandni's thoughts... 

'Advay Singh Raizada had resisted every temptation on earth, but I could never miss Chandu's swag. That childish streak she retained after all these years, that inherent innocence of hers, that complete Miss Badbad nature ...is that what has maddened me like this?...

That day I came to know her taking over her sister's baby, her finding Miku...Had I realised, she were merely a good girl with a big heart, I might have cared for her, admired her... 

Her standing up for her family against ASR...If she were just gutsy and strong, I'd have respected her... 

She was always beautiful, I could have desired her... 

but she is all of that and then she is my loved young swagwali Chandu...She is my own Miss badbad. How not to be smitten by her? I am completely in love with her now... rather always! 

Naani is right. She is the one without whom I cannot live and she's the one I have just said those unforgivable words to.'

His face crumpled in compunction and he muttered a curse. Agony shot across his face and he felt every ounce of angry pain in each of his nerve.    

'Oh! He is angry till now! If I take the food to him, he might just throw it away; same as he had done for the medicine I prepared for his feet.' With the memory, Chandni felt momentarily angry at his obduracy.  

'Laatsahaab hai bilkul! Ataranki Ajeeb singh Raizada kahi ka!'

'And if he doesn't eat, I don't know what might happen to him. How do I live without this guy? God, what do I do with myself? 

Was this supposed to be the denouement of what started yesterday... That tremulous joy which took us to heady excitement and heart thudding high... 

Today's beautiful morning and now this devastation!' Her heart surged her memories out dissolved in tears of sadness.

Chandni staggered in the stupor of her disillusionment... Her mind swarming with a chaotic mishmash of conflicting and turbulent thought. 

His anger had appalled her, his abomination had terrified her, but his pain for Aadi tugged at her heartstrings. She was more than aware of his care and concern hidden beneath his demeanor. 

Her heart was lost in reminisces with a deluge of memories flooding in... the caring lovable Dev during childhood, their time together in Allahabad when in spite of the odium, he would not allow any harm to befall her, their absolute love filled moments from suhaagraat till last night... rather till today morning.

 Enchantingly, she held onto the happy feeling brought to her heart with the manifestation of his possessive love...

But then, his wrath at her today...his order for her exile from his life... 

"Why are you in my life at all?... "Tumne meri jindagi barbaad kar di." (You destroyed my life completely) 

His fury kept ricocheting in her ears, reverberating in ripples of torment in her heart...deranging her, making her succumb in a dark abyss...

Inadvertently, she turned to Pooja's room. "Didi..." she called out to Pooja. "Didi, will you please take this plate for your Bhaiyya?" 

Pooja looked at the plate of noodles... exactly same as once Bhaiyya had brought for Chandni. She smiled at the thought of their mirroring love and care for each other. 

"Tum khud kyun nahi leke jaati, Chandni?" (Why don't you take it yourself?)

Chandni's face crumpled with imminent tears. 

"Kaash didi...kaash main ja sakati... " ( I wish, Sis...... how I wish I could go.....)

The poignant lilt in her voice tormented Pooja's heart. She hugged Chandni in genuine human compassion. Chandni muttered a supplication...she was in an impasse, whirling in a vortex of turbulence. Life felt like a stranded ship adrift in a turbulent ocean. Despondently, she walked to the kitchen; her usual sprint vanished from her gait.

'Every memory of hers is etched in my heart. How I could not resist her beauty on the night when she first fainted in my arms?... Why did it feel so very right that she rested on my shoulder so securely?...

Did I feel jealous of that stray tendril of her hair caressing her face that I wanted to put it back in its place and have her face completely for me... for me to linger in her beauty!' 

Willingly Advay lingered in her memories. All her images flashed in front of his eyes, a mirage turning into a soul soaking elixir!

Pooja entered with the noodles plate. Something had happened to his heart, she could see it in his eyes. Advay Singh Raizada was totally madly in love. Only Chandni needed to see it correctly. But the poor girl was caught up in such immense grief. How to help these poor loving souls?

"Bhaiyya chaliye, aap kuchh kha lijiye, Come on .....Eat something otherwise you get hunger pangs and then you get angry unnecessarily."

"Noodles?... She made these, rrright? And then why could she not come with these??... I don't want to eat." Advay was petulant.

"Don't be silly, Bhaiyya! She loves you and cares for you even when you hurt her with your anger; same as you cared for her even when you hated her. Now don't refuse her love expression. Rather, eat the noodles and give a love confirmation to her."

"I want to Pooja. I so much want to tell her how much I love her."

"Yet you are caught up in your own insecurities that you have not gone and told her this yet. You have learnt to love Bhaiyya; but you have to still learn to trust her, trust your love for each other. Same is true with her! "

"But how do I achieve that? For now, how do I approach her?"

"When you were angry at her, we were her support. Now she is perhaps hurt by you and hence angry, we shall be your support. Come on Bhaiyya, use all your resources, bring out your full charm! We will help you. What are we as family for?" Pooja was cheery.

"Yup! And a great family to have! Naani came earlier. Now you...love you folks!" Advay felt zeal creeping back in his heart.

"And we love you! As your first informer, let me tell you, Chandni is gone to kitchen."

Advay went to kitchen with empty noodles plate. Chandni was cleaning the side racks of kitchen. God! Her backframe! How terribly sensuous he had felt hugging her from behind...his breath on her shoulders... 

she just sensing his body, his breath, his presence... He but moments away from burying his face in the crook of her neck, feeling her silken hair on his face and just inhaling her essence. Perhaps all of that had happened eons ago...

Could he do it now? Would she respond?... Maybe! Her body might, her heart would not...It will only be at physical level... I need our souls to unite again...

Our primeval contact again. Me a man, she a woman, that emotion of ours...That beautiful sensation too powerful to even begin describing... a perfect Prakruti and Purush!*

At some layer of his, he exactly knew what he wanted. He stood there willingly lost in her thought, enjoying the memory of her touch, her feel, her very loveliness...Enchanting love of his life... 

He wanted to just linger for a while and simply look at her. just a feeling. not right. not wrong. no rational meaning, nor name. A feeling that melted his heart slowly forming a part of his heartbeat!

In spite of complete numbness, Chandni sensed his stare on her back. Every part of her being sensed him, but her eyes wouldn't dare to look at him. She could not ignore his powerful presence either. With eyes boring into the earth she turned. 

He took the chance and purposefully dumped the plate spilling the leftover noodles on cleaned table. There was immediate anger in her eyes. He waited for her rage to fly at him...Her usual screech... "Euuu...Eee... Something for him to pick a cue... But nothing came. Silently, she picked the plate and cleaned the table again.

"Chandni... Kya baar baar clean karate rahati ho... Why do you clean it again and again? .....

Come on! Home is for self-expression, not for outsider's impression." 

He was goading her, but she refused to respond. 

She continued her work head down, looking wan. Pain shot through his veins looking at her. Yet he would not let her go in this cocoon. He would bring her back... Somehow!

"Baat nahi karogi, Bhagyavaan?" (Won't you talk to me, Lucky wifey?)

Husky, suggestive, possessive, playful voice... his head just inches away from her face... looking straight into her eyes. 

"Itni see ho tum;" he teased showing her size in two fingers, "aur itttna gussa?" (You are so small and your anger so big)

He incited her, waiting with a thudding heart for her to say something...stand up for herself...defend her height. 

"Challenge hai mera! Tum baat karogi, meri Kattto Gilheri!" 

(It's my challenge! You'll talk with me, My cutie pie Squirrel)

He cajoled her with his pet nickname...gentle, adept provocative... The eyes, The expression, The voice... all repartee of his explosive need to connect...in the guise of an ego battle.

She walked away looking downcast... forlorn eyes...droopy gait!... 

He did not want that! He would rather take friction, a duel in earnest, even a conflagration... he was willing to scorch and burn and plunge in...till both their egos turned to ash and melded forever.

He turned back...convulsed, tumultuous, almost threatening expressions in his eyes. Anger laced with desperation, a boundless need...his heart rumbling quietly within, gradually. 

Chandani turned to see him... Her eyes, deeply hurt yet entreating, boring into his back, ...Is that all that you can give? A challenge?...Her world had fallen apart and all that he, who was her world, thought of it as some game?

"Bhai, kya karate ho aap bhi? Roothi voh hai, aapko manaana hai; aap kaise rooth sakate ho?" (Bro, what are you doing, man? She's angry, you are suppose to appease her; how can you get angry?) 

Miku knew next attempt at mending things was due.

"Miku Tu Bahot bolta hai!" (You talk too much!)

Advay was in no mood to hear to Miku's bakbak now.

"Bolta bhi hoon aur karata bhi hoon. Bhabhi ne aapko manaane ke liye gaana gaya tha... aap bhi vohi karo"

(I talk but I also act! Chandni had sung to coax you..... now you do the same!)

"Are you out of your mind? Me and singing? Now?"

"Bhai gaaoge nahi to baad mein pachhtaaoge. The way Shri Ram repented after Seeta mata went back in the lap of her land-mother. (Bro, if you don't sing now, you'll repent later)

 Jindagi ke mukaam aur dil se bichade log" Miku took a pause which was killing Advay.  "Ek baar chale jaaye to lautke nahi aate.."

(The past phases of life and people dissected from heart, if they leave once, they never return back) 

"Mikuu..."...there was a sudden tear in Advay's voice. He kept his hand on Miku's shoulder, as if to take support for his rambling heart at the mere thought," Aisi baat sochana bhi nahi, mere Bhai."

(Don't even think such a thing!)

"Bhai, all that I know is that you have given her exile from your life...a death warrant for her... Her heart hurts too much now and fears getting shattered again. Just because she doesn't respond, if you turn away like this, matters will worsen... Go bring your guitar, I'll get her.

Pooja and Miku literally pulled Chandani from the kitchen to the hall. 

"Bhabhi, Diwali abhi chaalu hai. Yeh kya shakl banaake rakkhi hai? Saaj nahi, Shringaar nahi!"

(Diwali is still on! And what state you have made of your self... you look like hell... no decking up, no dressing up!)

 Lovingly she put a red embroidered duppata on Chandani's head and a necklace around her bare neck, "Dekho, ab lagati ho Sundar Suhaagan."

(See, now you look like a lovely new bride)

"Aaj hum antakshari khelenge." (We'll play singing competition today)

Miku lovingly held her by shoulders and made her sit.Then he turned to Dev "Bhaiyya, you start. What should be the first letter?"

" Ha" Advay said standing up with his guitar, eyes fixed on Chandani... a strong resolve, a confidence in his voice.

His deep husky voice rose...

Hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte, Tere bina kya wajood mera 

Tujhse juda gar ho jaayenge, Toh khud se hi ho jaayenge judaa

Kyunki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho
Mera Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

now i cant live without you,i'm nothing without you.

if i go away from you, i'll be away from myself.

because its only you,

now its only you,

you are my life now,

peace in me and the pain too,

now my love is just you.

Earnestly, he stood in front of her. She watched him. A plethora of emotions in her eyes. ... The intensity, the remorse of the moment... Two loving souls in a realm where nothing was as it should have been.

Tenderly, patiently, lovingly he waited for her to respond... Willing to linger in the moment... absorbed, engrossed in her...he tried further,

Nahi jeena tere baaju (Don't want to live without you)

Nahi jeena, nahi jeena
Nahi jeena tere baaju
Nahi jeena, nahi jeena
Main tenu Samjhaawan kiNa tere bina lagada jee

(I am trying to explain...... I can't live without you.....my heart is into nothing......)

Tu ki jaane pyaar mera

Main karoon intezar tera
Tu dil tui-yon jaan meri

(You don't understand my love ....yet I wait for you..... because you're my heart, my soul, my life!)

Main tenu Samjhaawan kiNa tere bina lagada jee

He waited again... 

A lifetime in a few minutes... just the two of them and the rest of the world forgotten!

... Please talk to me, his eyes pleaded...but nothing came except Silence... He stood frustrated, a slow panic turning into horror descending... 

is she not talking because I challenged her? Is she offended by my challenge? I will not challenge her, I will try urging...

Choote ya na Choote mose, rang tera dhol na

Ik tere baju dooja, mera  koi mol na

Bol na Mahi bol na

Bol na Mahi bol na

even on trying to remove,your color doesn’t get off me..

other than you (i.e. without you),there is no value of mine..

say, O my beloved, please say....say, O my beloved, please say..

A moment of remorse yearning to linger by...almost dreamlike; but She returned to reality and turned away ... Walking away... emotions in turmoil, storm within her... 

"Bhabhi, ab aapki baari. now your turn. You have to sing." Miku blocked her way and made her sit again. 

"Bhabhi gaao na, please." He sat at her feet.  (Sing please)

The storm was uncontainable with assault from all on her stricken heart.

"Nahi Miku. Mujhse nahi hoga." (No Miku. I can't"

"Bhabhi, this is not fair. Meri baat taalogi aap? Aap ke ladle devar ki?" his voice almost begging her. (You'll deny your favorite brother in law?)

She cupped his face, "Miku tere yeh jo naina hai na, bahut bhole hain...bilkul apne bhai ki taraha..."

(Miku..... these eyes of yours......they are so damn innocent.....exactly like your brother's)

Sharply, Advay turned his head to her, listening intently, wondering what she was going to say next...  

With dead chill in her voice, she continued, 

"Par in Naino se meri Shikha ko kabhi thagana mat... (Don't cheat my Shikha with your innocent eyes)

Naaino ka jahar nasheela, mere bhai...(The poison from eyes is intoxicating) 

naina raat ko swarg mein le jaaye, (eyes take you to heaven in the night)

megh malhar ke sapne dekar hariyaali dikhlaaye...(give you dreams of showers.... show you greenery of life)

par ek baar thag jaaye na to phir naino ki jubaan par bharosa naahi aata. (but once betrayed, then one cannot trust what the eyes speak)

Meri Shikha ko aisa dard kabhi mat dena, mere bhai." 

(Don't ever give such pain to my Shikha)

Tears were streaming freely down her eyes. She got up and ran to the solitude of her room.

Advay watched her running past him...The guitar slipped from his lead-heavy hands and plunged down along with his heart. 

His face lost almost all structure... neither the set jaw, the sharp gaze, the absolute certainty in his oceanic eyes which was his regular... nor the tender love softening his face especially for her...everything fast disappearing into abyss of pain...hope draining totally. 

He turned away, he would not allow himself to get so vulnerable, he would manage this pain, hide it from all.

Naani had just walked in. She sensed the pain... the constriction of senses in Advay. She knew her grandson was not perfect but his heart was pristine... 

and Chandni? She had a divine heart... But somehow, exactly as Nani had read in mythological stories, the goddess of his love was infuriated at him...

A chilling fight between the Laxmi-Narayan of this house...a real fight between two loved ones who want to prevail, not give their territory. 

"I cannot allow these two loving souls to deteriorate in this way. I will have to intervene sternly."

It was Diwali, everyone around was celebrating; but Raizada mansion murkily stood witness to an uncanny silence...

Falling apart of a story...a story of deep beautiful love... of large, humongous powerful emotions... of human beings caught in their crosscurrents, struggling, getting lashed, breaking but finally rising to overcome all odds!

Most sublime moments had transpired there...

Two siblings, children of the same parents carrying the same blood in their veins had met here after sixteen years of separation... 

After sixteen years of hatred, two eternal lovers had finally surrendered to the universe of need, of love, of adhering... Forever!

This mansion that had transferred its ownership from the Oberoys to the Raizadas with a promise to make a house into a home... with an acknowledgement that family ke liye Aadmi Kuchh bhi karata hai, kuchh bhi! (One does anything for family...just anything)

A man had struggled to withstand the sledgehammer blow life had dealt and prevailed...as true was his romance with his wife equally integral was the love of his family... both equally valid and complete and essential... 

The first thing this man had done in this mansion was to hug his nephew...

He had run for his Naani when she tripped and accepted Chandni against his heart...

But the walls also knew that he had dashed on realizing Chandni being put amongst poisonous spiders with a risk to her life...

The walls of the mansion empathized,... to have to choose between the two loves, is truly cruel and life rarely passes up on such an opportunity. 

Advay stood in the study tormented with his feelings...... flailing, whirling feelings of him and Chandni...together!

Man and woman. As primal beings, they were mates, just meant for each other... but when two parts came together to create such a powerful bond, they became much greater than the sum of the parts...

Between them was an indestructible love ...between them was history, of having lost trust and love and then found it again...

 Theirs was not just a sweet romance but an epic poem. A saga of divine love...

Love that held...held through all the hatred they both felt for each other... 

An angry love and a love filled anger!......... that defied transience in a dimension essentially transient. ... 

Right from the day he had called her to the terrace in Allahabad haveli, he had derogated her...belittled her in every possible way and she had rebelled against him to keep her family's honour...

To annihilate that same honour, he had married her in hatred... But now he knew it was also because of love... a broken, torn, battered love that came in the guise of hatred, but love it was!...

Hatred had continued to strengthen and nuance their love... He had given her a burning warning and in return, she had gone beyond herself forgetting all her PTSD to save him...

He had conspired to throw her out and she had returned back to hug her Dev to her heart...

And today???....... Today, she termed his eyes cheaters????

Taking her to a dream world and then poisoning her????

She doesn't trust me?...Trust my love?... 

Hurting aching angry desperate ... vortex of emotions and feelings...Mixing, whirling, a tornado catching speed in his heart... 

A wind from dessert crossed the vast distance and took him wandering in hot scalding desert... his heart getting into shreds with a beclouding desire confusing his mind ... an inexplicable quest...

" Chiku, Himmat mat khona mere bete!" (Don't lose courage, my child)

Naani kept her loving, assuring hand on his shoulder... tugging him away from his tornado ...He so much needed a maternal place at the moment... Naani's embrace was vestiges of his mother's lap... the only person who could perhaps somewhat understand what he was going through with her rejection of his.

"Naani, kya maine uska bharosa toda? Vishwaas nahi use mujh pe?" Advay felt going crazy with the vortex in his head.

(Grandma, did I in any way break her trust? Can she not trust me anymore?)

"Usaka dil to toda hai na? phir dil ka bharosa nahi tootega?" Naani spoke with love, "Agar tera gussa sahi tha; toh uska dard sahi nahi?"

(But haven't you broken her heart? Then how will the trust in that heart not break? If your anger is right... then why is her pain not right?)

"Mera gussa sahi nahi tha, Naani!..." Advay's voice caught an emotional high pitch, uncharacteristic of him... "Main maan raha hoon na! Phir bhi voh...?"

(My anger was not right, Grandma..... I am accepting that, right! Still she behaves this way?) 

"To usse kyun galat dard mein jhulas dene raha hai? Yeh soch, ki uspe kya gujar rahi hai?"

(Then why are you letting her burn in incorrect pain? Think once, what's she suffering through?)

" Main koshish to kar raha hoon na , Naani?" a petulant Dev of fifteen years stood before Naani, defending himself, putting across his complaint against Chandni.

(I am trying, right?)

Naani took a deliberate pause...

"Teri koshish mein shaayad voh dard nahi jo iss vakt uss tak pahuch sake... (perhaps your try doesn't have the kind of pain that can reach her at the moment)

Don't rush her, Chiku. Just keep patience. She needs time... Allow her the privilege to be angry with you."

Naani instructed the family to gather early for dinner. Shilpa went to call Chandni and Murli to call Advay bhaiyya. Both reached the dining almost same time. Lost in her pain, Chandni walked straight into Dev intently looking at her.

One look and he wanted to reach out and hug her, kiss her shimmery eyes, moisten her tear dried cheeks...

 Their fight had become a thrilling earth shattering tiff between lovers, a husband-wife battle. Both needed a leap from their cocoon to claim their life back from what felt like death. 

A small trick played by life making Aadi missing and two lives falling apart. 

'How do I placate her when she doesn't even look at me? Look at me, Chandu, look at me,' His eyes screamed.

Mere Saath tere dil mein ...yeh jindagi ki pyaas kyun hai

Sange mere yeh naina tere...iss kadar udaas kyun hai

E Aasha ki subahaa Bataa,...E Aasha ki subahaa Bataa,...

Tu humse itni maayoos kyun hai

Agar Yahi hai jindagi, to yeh jindagi kun hai

Tispar yeh jaalim hayaat humpe sitam dhaaye ja rahi

Aur fir mere Humsafar bataa,

Meri aankhon se; tere dil tak yeh faasla kyun hai

(along with me, in your heart too...... why is there a quest for life?

why along with mine, your eyes too..... are so forlorn from life?

Oh the morning of hope, tell us..... tell us.....why are you so estranged from us......

If this is what is life, then why this life?

On top, the cruel destiny of our lifetimes continues to bestow tortures on us

and then tell me, oh my soul mate,

from my eyes... to your heart...... why exists so much gap of separation?)

"Chandni..."

An intimate appealing call... a need in it,  a demand, a love and ownership...

Her name was written on his every breath...his inhale, his exhale...as natural to him as his breathing.........Yet very special because it gave him the sense of connection...a sense of belonging...

His eyes begged her to not do this, to him and to herself... They did not deserve this... their love needed a chance!

She was impervious to him... The plea in his eyes fell on deaf ears of her heart...Her heart had perhaps shut all doors... 

His eyes were imploring her heart... but she was on verge of becoming hysterical again...

She just walked past him wanting to put distance between them... which his heart was not at all ready to... 

What's unsaid torments even more! A perturbed desperation descended on him.

"Chandni, idhar aa beta." Naani called out lovingly, stopping Chandni from crying again, "Yaad hai beta, tumhari shaadi ke baad maine tujhse Allahabad mein baat kee thi...... aur tune meri baat maan lee thi?"

(Chandni, come here child. Remember child, after your marriage, I had said something to you and you had accepted my words as your oath)

The memory came vivid in Chandni's heart; taking her momentarily away from her pain. 

"Aaj phir meri baat maanegi na?" (Today, you'll accept my words again, right?)

"Haan Naani."(Yes Grandma)

"Tu ghar ki Lakshmi hai, Beta... aur tu iss taraha gam mein doobi rahegi, to ghar ka kya hoga? Tune hi kal Laxmi ka mahatmya sabko samjhaaya tha! Grihlaxmi ka farz hai na ki sabko acchhe man se, hasmukh hokar khana serve kare."

(You are the Laxmi, life of this house, child......and if you delve in grief like this, what will happen to this house? Didn't you yourself explain everybody the greatness of Mother Laxmi? and when you're that mother goddess for the family, isn't it your duty to serve everybody with a happy smile?)

"Haan Naani. Main Abhi karati hoon." (Yes, Grandma. I shall do so immediately)

"Remember, Chandni. No member of the family must get missed. What happened in the afternoon was not right." Naani's voice was stern with authority.

"Yes Naani. Mujhe maaf kar dijiye. ....Please do forgive me" Chandni apologised, face downcast.

"Smile first, only then I'll forgive you....." Naani smiled at her. 

Advay was watching the duo. He was so grateful to Naani for standing up for him. Did Chandni truly understand how wronged he felt when she rejected him?

Chandni and Shikha served all. Dinner felt so good when she served it, he suddenly realized. He was grateful to his family for supporting him. There were lots of delicacies fitting to each person's taste. Miku and Aadi brought laughter to the table. Shilpa and Murli continued their usual nok-jhok. Everybody felt much relaxed.

"Chandni, beta mere saath mere kamare mein chalogi jara?" Naani invited after finishing dinner.

(Child, will you come with me to my room for a moment, please)

"Jee, Naani..."

Perhaps it was best for Chandni that way, as much space between her and him as possible was good. She had avoided looking at him while serving and had not spoken a word to anybody. She desperately wanted to avoid his vicinity during night... together in their room. She could not make herself face that... handle it yet.

"Yeh sab kya chal raha hai, Chandni?" (What's all this going on, Chandni?)

"Maine kya kiya, Naani? Jo subaha se ho raha hai, ussme aapko meri galati dikhati hai?"...(What have I done, Grandma? Whatever is happening since morning, you see my fault in that?)

Now it was a huffy Chandni eight years old standing in front of Naani.

"Teri koi galati nahi, Beta. Par uski galati ki sajaa voh kitni der bhugatega?" (It may not be your fault , child, but how long will he bear the punishment of one wrong deed?)

"Naani, do you understand how hurt he made me feel?... and now he is coming and challenging me with his games."

In spite of all serious anger, Naani smiled spontaneously, 

"That's the way he is! Have you not known him since childhood? Did he not always walk out angrily? At least now, he doesn't do so with you. He is trying. Give him credit."

"Naani do you genuinely feel a wife should be spoken to in the manner he did?"

"No, dear. But it happens... We are mere mortals, it happens with gods as well. You know the story of Shiv Parvati, right? 

Shiva stated everything of this world including food to be Maya, an illusion. Jaganmata worshipped as the manifestation of all material things, including food, became angry and vanished from world."

"Precisely,Naani! She went away!...She vanished from world... I should perhaps also follow her."... Chandni was hurting and all her anger was coming out in her words.

"And then what was the state of Shiva? What will be the state of your Shiva even if he hears your words?" 

Naani caught Chandni in her own words. "Look child,... being angry, holding umbrage is rightful; but you have to know when to forgive."

"Naaani... Shiva begged Jaganmata and agreed that material world, like the spirit, cannot be dismissed as an illusion. He accepted his need for her...he acknowledged her importance for him... Only then she fed him."

"Is he not begging you already to forgive him? Are words needed when his eyes plead you every second? Did he not accept through his song that his outburst was erroneous?" 

"Naani, what he said in the morning was right. I have brought just pain to everybody and mostly to him, Naani." Her voice broke.

"That was past, my child. Now you are his happiness. These are phases of life. Look at me! I lost my daughter and son in law. How painful that was for me! But now, I have you and him. Do you want to take away my happiness?"

"Naani, I bring him bad luck...he loses his family when he is with me."

"Bullshit! Dustbin can be the only destination for such worthless thoughts. And what is his family'? Did you not claim the other day, that this was your family and your only family? Rather, YOU are HIS family, you are OUR family."

Chandni hugged Naani, "What should I do, Naani? I am in such dilemma. I don't know where to take my life?"

Lovingly Naani hugged her back and patted her head, "The only destination for your life is your husband and for his life, it's you. 

Marriage is always like that, child! You start a journey of discovering each other, understanding each other, embracing each others' vulnerabilities, standing with the person through every thick and thin... 

Somewhere on the way, you find love. That journey you call life."

"Naani, I'll try. His raving has torn my heart, my soul... yet I'll try sincerely. It's just that I can't promise you anything. I don't know myself."

"Learn to live above your demons, child. Then you will know everything." Naani was trying her best to manage both her grandchildren. 

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Maha Episode So scroll Down For After the break

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4905329&TPN=105

Beauty of advay's chosen songs, enjoy on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNmAkWvnWEg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOBLSQhAYOs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2f7MZaw3Yo

The pain in Chandni's heart........ depicted in Gulzaar's beuatiful lyrics and Rahat Fateh Ali KHaan's god gifted voice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG7Kms_YA5Q

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Desolate, Chandni walked in the hall, a storm in her heart.

She was unable to form any conclusion. He had raved at her... leaving her stricken, smited. At one moment, he had pushed her off vehemently and then he had held her to him. 

As Naani said, maybe she needed to go beyond herself and embrace him with all his virtues and vices...his colossally painful vulnerabilities.

His old pain of having lost his parents would always mess up his judgement; make him say terrible things... It would perhaps remain like that,... Always! The past could not be undone ever and she had been party to it.

But is she supposed to accept this marriage of this type? From childhood, if he had pinched her ears, she had punched him back. They had been equal always. Today, if he had been angry at her, she felt angry with him. 

Her anger needed an expression, an expunging perhaps...She walked out, Sadness deep mixed with a denial bordering on hysteria...

As if, storm within them was not enough; a storm had gathered out as well. The skies had also had a fight, perhaps! Advay waited on his bed wondering why it was taking her so long with Naani,... getting more and more impatient every minute. No!!!... Naani told me to have patience with her... I'll wait!..... Wait for her!

He thought of their fight since morning. They had fought right from childhood and their fights always went all over the place, never quite moving along a straight line... always unfathomably real... So real that all masks fell off and every emotion, be it anger, love, need, despair, desire whatever... taken to a peak!

Could I have not controlled my vitriolic tongue in the morning? All that scrum of accusations...I could perhaps never be able to think sanely, when she was involved. 

As Naani says, all my demons... I need to learn to live above them...I need to make up for every hurt I have given her.

"Bhaiyya, you are sitting here?"... Pooja and Miku entered through the door specially kept open for Chandani. Pooja sat next to Advay. 

"Aapko kitni baar samjhaaye ki aapko usse manana hoga! Iss taraha akele ghutanese kya milega?"(How many times should we convince you that you need to appease her! What will you gain by fretting like this alone?)

"Poooja... I am planning to do that... I am waiting for her to return from Naani."

"Then you'll be waiting all night, Bhai." Miku chipped in.

"Why?"

"Bhaiyya, doesn't naani sleep early every day? Chandni has walked out!..." Pooja explained.

"And you allowed her to do that?"... Advay's expression was pained.

"I called out but she couldn't hear me...she can hear no-one now... She has walked out of our home into the darkness and the storm!...one outside, another inside her!"

"She was hysterical, Bhai. It's not for us to say anything to her now..." Miku asserted, his tone suddenly dead quiet. "It's between you and her!"

Pain darted through each vein of Advay. Giving him a sense of complete void, like a part of him had separated from him, leaving him only half...

He felt letdown...disappointed...disillusioned...

What was this girl up to? Does she not even want to come to the bedroom? Don't I matter?'

And if she gets wet, she will have a fever again. The shocking thought brought sudden urgency, desperation, panic in him...concern for her ...more important than his own well being... clouding his heart...an uncanny feeling of danger. 

He turned to Miku, "Voh Baarish mein akele gayee hai?" ... Miku's silence said it all. (She has gone alone in the storm?)

'Chandni, kaha gayee ho tum? Where are you?' His heart screamed...Entrancing thought flow traversed his inner emotion layer.

My Chandu, My life... Where has she gone? I cannot let her go. I will bring her back.' 

Fortitude filling him; strength coming from not letting go...courage to go to any extreme with all of himself; whatever might be the consequence.

He was out of the house in seconds... Thinking, and running... the warning bells ringing wildly in him...Security ran after him with umbrella on his head. He just snatched it and ran for his life. 

The walls of the mansion smiled...a very similar moment, they had just reminisced about.

Chandni was walking in the rain looking at the creator... wondering why he had created this world and then in that world created her ... To top it further, he had bestowed upon her the beauty of love. Oh why? Why? Why?

A storm out and a storm in! 

The outer was perhaps less devastating, less ravaging than the inside one. Her need for him conflicting her essential integral ego of his need for her...whatever conquered, whichever prevailed... Denouement would be her demolition...A self confrontation concluding to self destruction...

She stood without a protection on her head getting drenched in the stormy downpour... on bare ground, between heaven and earth... as the two connected openly with those incessant showers...her soul as unveiled, as unmasked...as real, as direct... confronting, one of the toughest things one ever have to face, a feeling for someone that is bigger than one. 

You don't need me; then how do I come to you, Dev? And if not to you, then where do I go, Dev?...

Tum bin jaau kahaan?

Duniya mein aake kuchh na phir

chaha kabhi tumko chaahake!

Tum bin jaau kahaan?

(where do I go without you? after coming to this world, I have never cherished anything else, after having cherished you)

The call of her heart to her Dev was so strong that his frantic heart heard her...Their souls had this connection to be able to sense each other. 

He saw her... a torn man...his action, his intention, the consequence all garbled up, muddled up...

He could see her quandary, her heart-wrenching predicament...her trouble at deeper level...

Her feelings flew into her craters and crannied within...She struggled to find her way back, lest the darkness within the craters consumed her ...

An intense pain claimed him...a deep guilt and disquiet... His emotions completely ensnared.

She sensed his presence, as always! Why has he come now? Her first defiant response...

Oh God, what's happening to me; what am I thinking?I need this man. I want this man. 

An egregious pain shot in her veins. Her eyes filled with tears immediately... She allowed her untrammelled tears to roll down unrestricted... just watching him, needing him, pining for him...wanting to fill her soul with his image...

Who knows whether I'll see him again...her longing tears pelting his heart...

The heart has its way and curious are the ways of heart! 

He had questioned her presence in his life... She had decided to come away...yet both wanting to hold onto each other with their locked gaze...

Hearts pulling binding like magnets...a pause, a wait as they stood in the torrent just looking at each other... An absolute imbroglio for both!

They stood between the heaven and the earth...screaming relentless downpour of showers,   of emotions... on him and on her...as they stood apart...each on his own pole...holding onto his own territory, individual preserve... oblivious to the earth moving around them... in-cognizant of the world around...

Across the distance a longing and a need spanned... He needed her like he needed nothing else... and she him... yet to acknowledge and accept this truth, it was taking them forever.

Aasma tera mera hua khwaab ki tarha dhua dhua

Aasmaan tera mera hua, Saans ki tarah ruaan ruaan

Ho jaaye jahaan tu Jaaye

Paaye mujhe hi paaye

Saaye ye mere hain tujh mein samaaye

(yours and mine, our sky has become as ethereal  as our dreams

yours and mine, our sky has become as shattered  as our breaths

Wherever you try and go, you'll find me.... just me! Because my shadows are ingrained in you) 

Just the two of them in their own realm... where once again nothing was as it should have been... A complete mayhem!

Two souls battered mercilessly by life... and when after all struggles, after all bristling, finally they found solace in each other; life had to deliver such blow and bring them to such helpless juncture ? Why?

Zindagi ne Zindagi bhar gham diye

Jitne bhi mousam diye sab nam diye

(Life gave pains lifelong! As many seasons bestowed, all were drenched)

If it was true for him, it was equally true for her. He knew in his heart, what she had gone through life.

Zindagi ne Zindagi bhar gham diye

Jitne bhi mousam diye sab nam diye

Jab Tadapata Hai Kabhi Apana Koi

Khun Ke Aansu Rula De Bebasi...

(Life gave pains lifelong! As many seasons bestowed, all were drenched! When a beloved one is in anguish, you are left so helpless that your despair has no bounds)

His eyes reflected his sadness, his contrition... at having made her to resort to such measures...standing all alone in the world... as the torrential skies attacked her... deluged her in cloudburst... battering her completely, mauling her... 

I have brought her to this emotional state; but I won't let her stay here. Nobody... just Nobody can hurt my Chandu... not even her emotional skies...I'll move the earth for her, if needed!

A strong need in him to be needed by her...His eyes silently said, I love you, I protect you, I make sure nothing puts even a mark on your integrity...I will protect you, Chandu! I will protect you from everything. You are not alone. I am with you...You are a part of my heart.. Suddenly the distance between the two poles had diminished to a few inches...distance bridged! 

He walked towards her and the umbrella over her head... His cover, his protection, his possessiveness taking her under his wings...

Tum apni jameenon se , ...Ab mujhe aavaaj na do

Main tumhari sarhadon se ;... bahot door nikal aayee hoon

Tumhari aavaaj na ab... pahuchegi mujh tak

Baandhe jitne sapne  dil ne;... main sab tod ke aayee hoon!

(Don't call out to me from your territories...... I have left behind  boundaries of your world...... your voice will not reach my heart anymore; because I have torn apart all the dreams my heart had built around you)

There is no need to protect me from the rains...If I need protection from anything, it's from you...You! Who will take my soul from me, my life from me... Anger between lovers all evident in her defiant eyes...

As she moved, he barricaded her with his body... A very quiet yet very intimate, very possessive gesture! His body stopping his wife because he is her protector...the master of life shielding his wife...Speaking a thousand words...  Not allowing her to leave...wanting to adhere, wanting to connect...

Till date, right from their first meeting, he had blatantly pulled her to him heedless of her resistance... But this time, he did not! He did not want to force her but neither could he let go of her...wanting to be gentle on her, no berating, no bashing...just protecting , with his own self! Encompassing her rebel in his strong protective aura!

The tensed air between them binding them tight to each other, though their hearts stayed separated... His hand holding the umbrella touched her shoulder...A determined tenacious retention of hers by him...Preserving their connect! ... Angrily, she turned immediately, breaking that connect...blocking physical contact angering him instantly.

"Tum jana chaahogi bhi to main jaane nahi doonga, Chandni!... Tum mujhe jaanati ho!"... An angry resolute resolve in his voice...

(Even if you want to go, I will not let you go, Chandni!..... You know me!)

She stopped and rebelliously faced his anger, 

"Chhod to diyaa hai na? Jindagi ke baahar nikaal diya...Ab kya jaane nahi denge?" (you have already let go of me, right? Exiled me out of your life..... now where will you not let me go?)

All her pain multiplied hundred times and exploded in her insolence.

He couldn't stay away and disconnected any more... Not even for a second...

He had been holding the umbrella over her head...if she chose to angrily move out of his protection, then he did not need it either...He would face the same torrent as her. He threw away the umbrella and possessively gripped her hand... 

A simple gesture but a universe of need for adhering... All his need, his love materialising into an actual physical form in that hold, that touch...his strong grip...communicating  his ownership of her;  communicating his demand to stay connected... a connection, a giving of breath to each other... of life... a moment of immortality...

Everything was going haywire... Falling apart... In spite of the bedlam, she heard the call of his heart;  but the woman inside her defied ...

The woman who had metamorphosed from the girl because he had loved, he had accepted, he had claimed... 

The woman giving her the strength to assert her crumbling self...desperately wanting to ascertain her equality...

Her resistance to his imploring made her pitch almost hysterical..."You declared why am I in your life?... You exiled me!... You separated me from you!"

 An insolent fight evident in her... so real...so naked! The irrationality of love that compels injustice to get justice!

Her feisty spirit made an immediate connect to his soul...He had wanted this argument all the time and not her earlier deadlock silence, her cold inert air impasse!... He was ready to contest his case now...He was ready to face the hell of living in reality and being human.

His desperation, his vulnerability, his crumbling at her rejection all evident in his voice...

"Toh?...Toh?...... Toh tum chali jaaogi?... Maine kaha hai na, ki main gusse mein jo kahata hoon ...voh mera matalab nahi hota... Maine bataaya tha na tumhe?... ki mera pyaar ho ya gussa, pyaar ho ya ladaai, sab sirf tumse hai!... Meri ek ladaai, mera ek gussa... aur tum iss taraha chali jaaogi?"

(So?...... So you'll go away?....... Haven't I told you already that whatever I might say in anger, I don't mean anything so? I had told you, right? Whether my love or my anger, whether my love or my fight...... whatever I have,  it ties me to you..... Just one fight of mine, one angry outburst of mine and you shall just leave like this?)

His anger expressing stunningly his shattered self... with complete possessiveness and ownership!

Intractably, she pulled her hand out of his grip as her answer to him. He grew more desperate now. He wanted to think with his heart not with his head...... Rather think with her heart!......  He folded his hands in front of her...his voice low, intense, earnest... Somberness of the voice reflecting the honesty of heart...

"I am sorry, Chandni, I am sorry."

The need in a lonely yet tough man, who can't do without the love of his life any more...bravely admitting his erring...His extreme pain at having wronged her...His entreat to assuage the conflagration in her core.

Through his apology, he was conferring her absolute right to equality in their relationship... It was his conquest over himself...Love giving wings to the soul to rise above self. ...The sign of veritable love...To give her "her haque" her right as she always claimed and fought for...

Just a few days back, she had asked him to forgive her for a crime she did not commit... Today he was asking her to forgive him for a crime he did not mean to commit!... 

The apology made them equals again, a counterpart of each other... The better half of each other... The man and the woman and an endless moment between them that makes the world stop.

The loving Parvati, so integral in her, immediately awoke and she clasped his folded hands in her palms...She did not want her Shiva to beg...He was no lesser than her...her Dev need not beg... she would not allow him to ever beg anybody for anything! His ways were perhaps not always explicable but he had a riveting integrity and grandeur to himself which she was proud of... Such man should never beg!

"Yeh Sab nahi karate! Kabhi Nahi!" (Don't do all this!.... don't ever! ) 

A frenetic tension in her...her palms gave the light pressure on his to disengage his fold and then she turned back again... Not ready to relent yet!

Everything had happened, everything was happening because he loved her... Yet his expressed behaviour had wronged her terribly. 

If she was not forgiving him, he was not going to condone himself either... He was not allowing his human frailty to define the destiny of his divine love.  

The string that tied them was too hard to break, no matter how many times either of them snapped it... Whether it was long back, she claiming "Dev's  Parva" (caring of Dev) and he remaining adamant Advay........Whether it was now, when he beseeched and she refused to concede.

He made the physical connect once again, holding her hand...this time in absolute tender love...Not letting her move away from him...

Advay fell to his knee and bent his head...his complete surrender in front of her...Making her more than his equal...just to have her turn back to him...So much hurt in him at her turning away from him...

Physically, it looked like freefall but for him as individual it was rather a skyfall... a sheer complete plummet... from high standing ego, from his integral individuality, from his 'I'   ...

Only his devout need flagrant in him...a need for his better half to complete him...to return his substance to him...to make him significant in her existence...

He looked up his eyes making the strongest connect with her...no shame, no disgrace at having surrendered completely...just remorse for his wrongdoing; yet a burgeoning hope that his love would conquer over her umbrage.

He was a human being who would grapple with this thing called life with all of himself and face every consequence... As a boy, he had run away from the crowd with his younger brother... then thrown the brother to safety when goons followed and finally jumped himself in a river...Faced every consequence thereafter...He was not letting his newly found life go so easily now!

Between earth and the heaven, stood two souls...engrossed in the moment...immersed in a need...a world of wretched sad loving between two pairs of eyes...The heavens deluging them in cloudburst... a special cloud trying to pour love on two souls!

What is he doing... deep in my core where exact is he touching? We are equals, right! Then fight the battle equally! Why is he making me so defenceless against him...

"Main gussel hoon, Akhadu-Ajeeb-Atranki hoon...Main hamesha gusse mein aakar galat kahata hoon, karata hoon..."

(I am always angry....I am snobbish, I am weird, I am peculiar.....I always get angry and I say anything, I do anything)

A very vulnerable man with a pulsating need... he is unable to articulate his thoughts yet; but knowing for sure... if she should go, everything would cease to be, especially his breath!... It was in his eyes, his stance, his need was palpable...

"Phir bhi kya tum mujhe meri jindagi vaapas dogi?"

(In spite of that, will you gift me my life back?)

"Kyunki tumhare bina ek pal bhi mujhe hajaar moute deta hai! Tumhare bina ek saas bhi gunaah hai!"

(Because even a single moment without you in life, gives me a thousand deaths! A single breath without you is a crime for me in my life)

'Main Kounsi jinda hoon? Where am I alive?'

Her lips remained silent but her eyes and her turned away sad face screamed her complaint... She persisted... perhaps too badly stung to reconcile...to resolve the killing pain in both their hearts.

She still doesn't really know, nor understand and feel that her Dev cannot live if she is not with him... She knows it, he has told her as much, but she doesn't feel it yet... not entirely internalised.

Now his lips silent ... His eyes screaming...looking at her face ...imploring... 

Chandni don't do this to us... please! I beg you! 

A very vulnerable man...   how much it matters to him to matter to her... His eyes witness her rejection once again but his heart refuses to believe...

He hopes somewhere, in some corner of his heart, he still dreams that she'll turn her face up and cup his face in her loving caress...Make him feel the touch of her love on his cheeks... she must...

He watched her averted face, He struggled a lot with his own thoughts, conflicts within... Then sadly he turned to leave...

'Aisi khata nahi karate Dev jinki maafi nahi milati...jinhe manaa nahi sakate, unhe roothne kyun diya tha?' (Never commit the folly Dev, where you won't get the acquittal. .....If you couldn't manage to appease her, why had you let her get so angry)

He berated himself... He knew she had reason to reject him. Too many reasons. yet it hurt him, even though...

'Yes, I spoke to her what should never ever be said but never realised that I was passing verdict on my own self.'

'Duniya mein kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milata... 

kabhi jameen nahi milati kahi aasman nahi milata.'

(nobody in this world is ever bestowed with a complete universe...... sometimes one doesn't get land to put your feet on, sometimes you don't get skies to let your soul soar to) 

'Chandni, meri to jameen bhi tum ho aur assman bhi tum... Tumhare bina main rahu kahan...yeh saaas abhi chaalu kyun hai?' (you are my land, you are my sky! Where do I live without you? WHY do I live without you? Why is my breath still running?)

His soul succumbing to her rejection...

Ji Ke phir karna kya mujhko aisi jindagi

Jisne jakhmon ko nahi marham diye

Zindagi ne zindagi bhar Gham diye

(what do I do living life as such; where none of my wounds are given any redressal.......life just gives pain lifelong!)

Aah ko chaahiye

Ek umr asar hone tak

Koun jeeta hai kambakht

Teri zulf ke sar hone tak

Maana ke tagaaful

na karoge lekin

Khaakh ho jaayenge hum

tumko khabar hone tak

( A sigh of pain takes a lifetime to bring the desired effect......who has got life left till such time that you sort through your own tangles..... I know my love, you'll never ignore me; but it's just that, I'll be down in ashes by the time you realise my pain)

She means everything to me and possibly... rather surely, a bit more! He jerked his head...Desperate effort to remain sane; when everything went crazy inside him...

Kise Puchu Hai Aisa Kyu

Bejubaan Saa Ye Jahaan Hai
Khushi Ke Pal Kahaan Dhundoo
Benishaan Sa Waqt Bhi Yahaan Hai
Jaane Kitne Labon Pe Gile Hai
Zindagi Se Kai Faasle Hai
Base Jitte Hai Sapne Kyun Aankhon Me
Lakire Jab Chhoote In Haathon Se Yun Bewajah

Jo Bheji Thi Duaa
Woh Jaake Aasmaan
Se Yun Takra Gayi
Ki Aa Gayi Hai Laut Ke Sadaa
Jo Bheji Thi Duaa
Woh Jaake Aasmaan
Se Yun Takra Gayi
Ki Aa Gayi Hai Laut Ke Sadaa

To whom to ask, why is it so,

this world is, as if mute..

Where to find moments of joy,

Even time is like without a sign..

There are complaints on so many lips,

There are many distances from the life.. 

Why do the dreams dampen in eyes, when the lifeline in hand leaves these hands, for no reason.

 The wish I had sent,that collided with the sky such that a call has come back..

Nahi hai voh, to kyun hoon main? (if there is no She, then why am I?)

Rage and storm is echoing in him... Shiva is far more luckier than me, he only drank poison...never had to lose his Shakti! Shiva's self destructing tandav burgeoning in him...

As he went farther from her... moving out of her space... The sheer despair made her cross every barrier of her individual self... Crossed all known and unknown fears... internalised completely...entered a space she had never ever before!

DEV ...Dev...dev...  a resonating call flowed to him... Reverberated in the air...He turned like a magnet being pulled... Yet incredulous of his hearing...

He turned and looked at her, simultaneously she at him...The moments stood still between the two...moments of powerful binding...hugely attracting..,...

He so damn well wanted to believe... struggling with his mind, wanting to give heart a chance...wanting to hope... Hope that was so crucial for him to live.

He so so wanted to believe this! An open vulnerable expression on his face...complete lack of mask whatsoever! I need her ...I want her!

His heart suddenly worried whether he was hallucinating...Is it a dream or is she really ...a sublime confusion... His eyes expectant ...endless feelings flood their flooding brown...

His eyes were on her, in them the deluge of a need...an elemental need... an insurmountable need. for her. for her as his wife... His need to hear her, have her feel him, touch him, take charge of his heart...

No, this is real! She is running! Running to... me? The hope so ethereal, so fragile... his own desperation building apprehension ... His heart in his eyes...no anger no pretence nothing. just him. complete him... all of him!

A feeling had scaled and broken a barrier and was all consuming them...that beautiful feeling... the one that makes us transcend the greatest limit of all: ourselves.

The eyes had connected them completely emotionally and both accepted it... There cannot be life without you and if I am not dead yet, I can only be living in your arms... The truth embraced her heart and no other feeling, no conflict remained... just pure clarity ... The only feeling remaining being surrender...surrender to love!

Unable to hold back any more, she flew, she coursed... she darted like an arrow and flung herself at him, ,...her feet leaving the ground...her body crashing into him!

Dev usurped her with one single hand... So easy, so Natural... She was, after all, an integral part of him...the Lasya of his Tandav... his Parvati had returned home!

The ardhnareshwar... yin and yang...a sense of completion of two halves beneath the pouring skies...a long boundless embrace that filled the world. 

Overwhelming emotions made him close his lids... so much of and such deep emotion in that closing...

Utter relief and gratitude...Relieved he was perhaps at her allowing him in... grateful to become a part of hers. ...his deserts found a sudden Oasis...

His conflagration cooled ... quenched with water cascading on it...wave of the ocean... thirsty in the ocean...ultimately finding its shore!...

A small smile came to his lips... Life was affirming its presence to him. His eyes closed in relief, in content as realisation dawned...it's his life affirming her presence......... he smiled. After all this while, he smiled!!

His other hand came up and he hugged her tightly to his heart...gathering her close to his body...clutching her to himself tightly... the same way as she had done on knowing his Dev identity!

His fingers gripping her skin... assuring himself of  her presence in his arms...lingering in the feel of hers... ... Plunging deep in the relief... 

His Chandni... residing in his heart... Filling his soul and his heart, his entire being with splendour...

His Chandni, his deep intimate full moon night... 

She would fill his pain, his suffering... She would give fragrance to his breath...She would teach him to dream and then fulfil all his dreams ... She would give him wings to fly high in the sky.

Overwhelming Emotions took over him completely... 

"Meri Chandu, My Life!"

Now that life was back, she wanted love...She moved just a little... yet the air between them felt like a distance... the small space intolerable for both...

In absolute demand of love, as affirmation of her life returning back, she pressed her lips to him... A kiss of joy! A kiss of cherishing... Of needing and submitting...

He breathed in and smiled again in delight of contentment this time... welcoming her affirmation of life present, his existence returning... He belonged... again!

On suhaagraat he had marked her forehead... But today, he had bestowed upon her equal rights...and she exercised her rights by stamping his forehead, marking him as hers...hers alone... Hers forever!

He accepted her mark... the sweetest acquiescence on planet!

This is what he had wanted all along... going beyond the physical level, going beyond the limitations of bodily pleasures...

The union of their essence, their essential selves, almost outside the bounds of their physical beings...The lovemaking of their souls for complete union...with body mind soul... relinquishing the mortal, the material and reaching out for that which cannot die, what is not limited by dimension...

The surrender and desire to reach that point... that point when they would change in ways unfathomable... And the feeling never really would go away. A overwhelming burgeoning of feelings...Passion flourished... naked souls making love under the naked skies... 

His face naturally turned a bit, as though to feel the caressing kiss, to accept it and bring it nearer... kiss me, his entire being said, claim me as yours! Colour me in your carmine passion... Kanha said to Radha today!

The claiming of a man's heart and soul by a girl's unclouded heart wafting through...She could not stop herself... Fervently she kissed him...in gay abandon... On his face... on his lids... on the scar on his left lid... In every kiss, a new depth of need of yearning of becoming part of each other.

Advay was overwhelmed by her innocent giving love. He opened his eyes for a second and his gaze fell on Pooja, Miku and Shikha having come and stood at a distance watching them.

"Gharwaale dekh rahe hain..." (family is watching)He cared hell!... 

She was oblivious to the surroundings...just him and her and love...nothing else!...He was rejoicing in her open manifestation of her love, reveling in the demonstration that they belonged...All fences set up by the rational, conservative world having fallen apart... yet he had to tell her... wondering how would she react to that...

She reacted exactly as he expected "Mujhe farak nahi padata... Aaj sirf tum aur main!" ( It doesn't matter to me..... today just me and you)

He turned his head slightly to them, "Give us some space, guys! Respect our privacy."

Miku yelled out to him loudly... "Lage raho, Bhai!...kya filmi shot hai!. Keep it up!  Haaye...... iss pyaar ko kya naam de!"

(Keep it up, Bro!.... What a filmy shot...... what should we name this love?)

"Tu bahot bolata hai, Miku! Ab jaayega bhi?"

(You talk too much, Miku! Now will you please go?)

Without any qualms, happily she pressed her lips again on his face seconding his decision... sublime possessiveness laced with knee shaking love ...She was only his wife at the moment... All her other relations forgotten...

While she continued her love assault on his face, he checked momentarily whether they had really left.

Then he did what was most natural for them... Claim her lips in a deep kiss.

Escaping explosive desire, flaming with a seething need for each other...love of souls... hot livid owning demanding...to lie without barriers in each others' arms...

The two had become a love song, sheer poetry at the moment...an ode to love and a song to desire... in his kissing her and marking her earlier during Suhaag raat and in her kissing him today to do just that ... 

Their whole love story again... of a coming together of two people around a commitment, of becoming what is claimed as being husband and wife...union of two souls who are wedded for eternity.

They separated only when gasping for breath... And suddenly her wifey moue came back...She was so offended by his outburst...Petulantly, she interrogated him

 "Aisa kyun kaha ki main tumhari jindagi mein kyun hoon? Kahaan jaaungi main tumhare bina?"(Why did you squestion such as to why am I there in your life? Where will I go without you?) 

Complaint of his on her pouted lips. She hugged him tight once again ...stamping her possession...

"Kaha jaati main? ... haan?" she grumbled her heart out. (Where would I go?)

He felt her pain, her dilemma, his heart reached her on that plaintive note... He wanted to alleviate pain with a real answer this time. 

"Kahi nahi... bas mere paas, mere saath, meri baahon mein!"

(Nowehere...just near me, with me, in my arms!)

 He was the destination of her and she of him...He paused and hugging her tighter he apologised for having brought her, his love, to the state of asking that question,  "I am sorry, Chandni."

Happily she smiled at his apology now. He was forgiven for all his wrongdoing... "Ab hum kabhi juda naahi honge. we'll never be separated." He deserved her promise.

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The Contexts coming in the Maha episode

Prakriti and Purush- The reference comes from Indian Hindu Scientology . Shiva and Parvati are depicted  as Purush, the male part and Prakriti or mother nature, the female part! Teir unifying is the sexual reproduction in the evolutionary chain.

Ardhanareshwar - is the unified Shiva and Parvati- The original form of Gods as worshipped in ancient Hindu culture..... The original part of life evolution when male and female gametes were in the same individual and the reproduction was asexual)

Shiva Tandav and Parvati Lasya..... Shiva is the destroyer , so his Tandav is the dance of  destruction! And Parvati is mother nature so her dance is that of re-creation. Also Tandav represents Shiva's anger and Lasya represents the appeasement that Parvati brings to him. 

Enjoy the beauty of songs used in this Maha-episode

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53_5kWi0k0w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwmsxKJpCw4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGaLYwzMIl0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta89As3Nru0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZwoyWODUtE

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