Chapter 36

Akash impatiently twiddled his thumbs, waiting for the flight to descend on to the runway. He had spent the last one hour sitting rigidly in his seat, praying for time to just miraculously fast forward, while occasionally cursing the pilot for flying exceptionally slow. He had to get home. Now.

 

Three weeks had passed since his dreadful fight with his brother, and not to mention the icy break-up with his girlfriend. To be honest, Akash hadn't even noticed the slip of time; he was too busy with his new placement at Jal Mahal, a palace in Jaipur he was charged to restore, a project he took up much more eagerly than he should have.

 

With a soft ding, the seat belt sign finally turned off. Akash instantly jumped up and headed straight to the exit, his carrier bag in tow. Within no time he was speeding through swarming Delhi roads to the far end of the city where Shantivaan awaited.

 

Despite being sorely reminded of what had transpired the last time he visited, Akash didn't feel even an ounce of anger. And to be honest, he wasn't even surprised by that realization. He had noticed his resentment slipping away days ago. Amidst Jal Mahal's colorful tapestries and aging tiles, all Akash could feel was tranquility. It appeared the old manor just magically absorbed all his contempt away. 

 

Of course, that was before he got an anguished called from Om Prakash that morning, informing him that Anjali got into a minor accident while crossing the road. Akash took the first flight home.

 

He was tormented by guilt for the entire journey, hating himself for not talking to his sister for the past three weeks. She had nothing to do in his quest to prove himself, and yet, he had treated her worse than his brother. Why didn't he just pick up her calls? It would've made the plane ride a lot easier to bear.

 

At last, the taxi pulled up in front of the towering white mansion he used to once call home. Quickly paying the driver, he hurried inside, ignoring the relieved sighs of the servants, straight up to the second floor where his sister's room lay. He didn't even bother to knock before entering.

 

Anjali was sitting propped up on her bed, her right leg -encased in a plaster- elevated on a few pillows. Minor scratches covered her elbows, while a big white bandage rested on her forehead.

 

"Anju," he breathed, rushing to her side, relieved beyond words. 

 

She looked at him, surprised. Om Prakash had clearly not informed her of his decision to come.

 

"Thank god you are okay!" Akash continued, dropping down on the mattress and wrapping his arms tightly around her.

 

To his utter surprise, Anjali wrenched herself out of his embrace.

 

Shocked, he leaned back to see her stare back at him, furious. "W-what?"

 

"WHAT?!" she bellowed, causing him to jump up an inch or two. He had never seen her that angry. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT"?!"

 

"A-anju-"

 

"DON'T ANJU ME! HOW DARE YOU COME BACK HERE? HOW DARE YOU WALK IN HERE PRETENDING AS IF EVERYTHING IS FINE-"

 

"Calm down-"

 

"I WON'T CALM DOWN AKASH SINGH RAIZADA!" She fumingly looked around the bed, looking for something to hit him with, before continuing: "THREE WEEKS! IT'S BEEN THREE FRIGGIN' WEEKS AND IT DIDN'T OCCUR TO YOU EVEN ONCE TO ATLEAST LEAVE ME A MESSAGE?!"

 

"I was busy-"

 

Anjali paused, an incredulous look crossing her eyes. "Busy?!" she screeched, grabbing the pillow beside her and smacking him as hard as she could with it. "Is that the pathetic excuse you are going to use to explain your stupidity?!"

 

"Ow! That's hurts!"

 

"Three weeks!" she repeated, following every word a whack. "I was worried sick! What if something happened to you? What if you got kidnapped? Or murdered?! How the hell-"

 

"Okay, that's exaggerati-"

 

She chucked the pillow on his head in answer.

 

"Okay! Okay!" he said, retreating from the bed to avoid her blows. "I'm sorry!"

 

"Sorry! All you can say is sorry?!" she roared, opting to throw the pillows now that he was out of reach. "I literally broke my leg in two and all you can say is sorry?!"

 

"Come on yaar Anjali! It's not my fault-"

 

"It IS your fault! I was trying to call you for the billionth time when that stupid guy ran over me!"

 

"Ran over you?!"

 

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean! I was crossing the road and didn't see the car coming-"

 

"Seriously?! How many times did I tell you to check carefully before crossing?"

 

She reached around for another pillow, but realized -thankfully-  that there were none left. They were all lying on the floor, having hit him at least once.

 

"Phew!"Akash said, his anger at her carelessness subsiding. "Now can you please calm down and just listen to me?"

 

His plea only seemed to tick her off even more. Muttering feverishly, Anjali began to drag herself to the edge of the bed, her intention clear: she was going to punch him personally.

 

"What are you doing?! You will get hurt!"

 

She didn't pay him any heed. She continued, with much struggle, to scramble to the end of the bed when her cast suddenly got caught in the blankets, painfully twisting her leg. She yelped.

 

"ANJALI!!" screamed two voices in response.

 

Akash felt his heart sink as he rushed to his sister, not noticing the worried figure of Arnav following suit.

 

"Are you okay?" Akash asked, grabbing her shoulders and gently pushing her back onto the covers.

 

Arnav wasn't far behind. Untangling the blankets around her foot, he said, "Where does it hurt?"

 

"Should I call the doctor?"

 

"Of course we are calling doctor! HARI PRAKASH?!"

 

"Seriously Anju! How stupid can you be? Your leg is broken-"

 

"-and you were advised strict bed rest until at least two weeks!"

 

"Did you hear that? Two weeks! Not two days!"

 

"What were you even trying to do?"

 

"You are not superwoman, okay? What if something happened to you?"

 

"What would we have done then?"

 

Anjali seemed to have enough. "Stop it! I'm not a kid-"

 

"Yes, you are!" came the answer, only it wasn't just Akash's voice that reverberated in the room. Arnav had said the exact same thing.

 

A smile spread across Anjali's face. "Was that rehearsed? Because it was perfect timing."

 

"That's not the point," Akash replied, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "You have to be careful. If you want anything, just tell us, okay?"

 

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? Fine - I want to kill you for being an obnoxious, petty and just utterly insensible-" She was struggling to find a word bad enough for him.

 

"Imbecile?" Akash offered, not at all offended. In fact, it was blessing she didn't just kick him out the room, figuratively speaking of course.

 

"-moron!" she finished. "Is this really how you are going to repay me for putting up with you for twenty-four years?!"

 

Akash took her hand in his, ashamed. "I'm sorry. And it's not one of those sorry's I say when you go running off to Nani every time we fight. It's one of those sorry's that I wish I would never ever have to say again. I was an idiot, but I promise I will never take off like that again."

 

The angry lines on her forehead softened and without a warning, she threw her arms around him into a bear hug. Akash smiled and hugged her back, thanking the stars that she was indeed safe and fine.

 

"But I swear," she said, when they broke apart. "If you ever ignore my call again, even if you are in a meeting with the prime minister for all I care, then I will personally-"

 

"-murder me?"

 

She narrowed her eyes. "No, I will get Bhai to do it. He is a lot stronger than me."

 

At that point, Akash had no choice but to acknowledge the presence behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see Arnav stand unnaturally quiet. It felt strange to see his ever so confident brother, downcast.

 

"So how long are you staying?" Anjali asked, trying not to let the mood turn sour. "It better be at least for a month!"

 

Akash didn't hear her; he suddenly stood up to leave. "I... I will go freshen up. We will talk later."

 

Ignoring the wary looks exchanged between his siblings at his attitude, he strode out of the room onto the second floor balcony. While it was true that he didn't have any hard feelings towards his brother, he still couldn't meet his eyes without being reminded of what had happened the last time they talked. And knowing Anjali, he was sure she would go to any lengths to change that.

 

His phone suddenly began to vibrate.

 

A smile spread across Akash's face as he read the name flashing on the caller-id. "Yes," he said, instantly answering the call. "I reached safely."

 

Payal let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god! Couldn't you have texted me when you landed? I was worried!"

 

"Sorry, I forgot..."

 

She picked up on his dejected tone. "How is she? What did the doctors say?"

 

"It's not too bad. She fractured her leg, which will take at least four months to heal as far as I know. I didn't the meet the doctor yet, but I'm assuming there are no complications."

 

"And how are you?"

 

Akash was silent. Truth be told, he was expecting her to ask that question since the second his phone rang; he didn't need three weeks of talking to her to realize that she asked all the right questions at the right time. Only, he didn't know how he felt. Not yet anyway.

 

"I'm sure Anjali understands," Payal said, when the silence stretched on for too long. "Why you had to leave."

 

"But I didn't have to," he muttered. "I took off because I couldn't handle loosing. And she paid the price for it."

 

Payal was quiet.

 

"I... I wish I listened to you and just picked up her calls. What was the point of being so heartless?!"

 

Even Payal didn't have an answer to that. Despite telling him innumerous times to not ignore his siblings, Akash was grateful she had the decency to not rub it in his face that he was wrong, and she, right.

 

"How is your brother?" Payal asked after a few minutes.

 

"As fine as I am I guess... Anjali is the only thing we are on the same page about."

 

He heard her smile. "She definitely is one thing you both adore together," she replied. "But she isn't the only thing."

 

Akash snorted. "Have you met us?"

 

"I met you and I heard enough about him."

 

He didn't press his point. "Anyway, I should go. I will talk to you soon."

 

"Talk? Aren't you going to even come and visit me now that we are in the same city?"

 

He grinned. "You know I will."

 

"Good - I was just checking. So I will see you soon then!"

 

Bidding goodbye, he hung up. He still couldn't quite believe how close they had grown since their encounter in Hauz Khas. In fact, he couldn't even recollect why he had contacted her just a day or two after he left Delhi, wanting to thank her for her advice and yet spending the entire conversation talking about everything but his gratitude. 

 

Deep down, however, Akash knew the credit belonged strictly to Payal. He may have extended the first hand of friendship, but it was definitely her who made sure it become nothing but stronger. Somewhere and somehow, she found a way through his messy life and made a place for herself in it. In a way, she reminded him of Khushi; she too had walked into his life like a breath of fresh air, only she hadn't bothered to stay.

 

"I know you are not here by choice," came a quiet voice. "But whatever your reasons, you shouldn't blame them on Anjali."

 

Akash didn't turn around. He could recognize that voice anywhere. "I wasn't planning to."

 

"She would feel better if you stayed for a few days."

 

"I know."

 

"Then why did you walk away? She was just trying to make this alright... as alright as it could ever be."

 

"I understand."

 

Silence. It seemed Arnav was confused to hear his calm tone. "Akash," he finally said, pained. "You are my younger brother... no matter what happens in the world, you won't stop being that. All these years, I was just trying to-"

 

"Protect me. I know that too."

 

"If... if you know so much, then why we are we still fighting?"

 

"Do you love her?"

 

It was a question that had been nagging Akash since the day he read the article and it didn't leave even when he realized that it had all been a heist. The apology in Khushi's eyes and the hurt in his brother's face never seized haunting him even for a second in the last three weeks and the only way it would ever stop, lay in the answer to that one simple question.

 

"Does it matter?" Arnav replied, his voice disheartened. "You know the truth and there is no way to un-know it."

 

Akash pondered that. "So did you know the truth when you first saw her?"

 

Arnav edged forward and leaned on to the railing of the balcony. Their shoulders were only inches apart and yet, Akash felt as though they were standing oceans away.

 

"The first time I saw her," Arnav murmured. "Was in this house. She walked into my room by accident the night you threw her a birthday party."

 

Akash waited for an elaboration, but he received none. So he prompted, "And?"

 

"And," Arnav answered, clearing his throat; he was very hesitant. "We kissed... she thought I was you, a mistake that many make to be honest. We do look very much alike in daylight, forget the pitch black darkness in my room that night."

 

Akash didn't answer, trying not to let white-hot anger burn through him. It was he who asked for answers; he had no right to rage when he was finally getting them.

 

"She was very a proud person. Almost too proud. She even turned down the internship I offered her in her haste to prove that she wasn't a toy to be played with."

 

Akash was caught off guard with that. Khushi hadn't mention this particular detail even once during the countless times he called her.

 

"But you know as well as I," Arnav continued, who seemed too engrossed in his thoughts to notice his brother's surprise. "That once I make up my mind, there is no changing it. She was the best candidate I've had in years and I couldn't just let her quit without even trying."

 

"Was it the guilt?" Akash whispered. He knew his brother and knew him well.

 

"A little bit," Arnav answered, earnestly. "I felt guilty for what happened the night of her birthday... Had it been anyone else in her position, I might have not, because it really was an accident. But more than that it was her... She wasn't absurd, she wasn't extraordinary, but when she held her head up high and told me I couldn't get anything I wanted because she kissed me, I knew she was special."

 

Funnily enough, Akash understood that, so well that he discovered what his brother wanted to say, even though he couldn't quite explain it: Khushi was honest with him.

 

"She hated everything about me," Arnav continued, snorting to himself. "She hated seeing me, she hated working with me, not to mention for me... you name it. But most of all, I think she hated that I knew her weak spots."

 

A line appeared on Akash's forehead. Did he hear right?

 

"But even with all that attitude, she was..." Arnav trailed off, evidently not finding a word good enough to describe what he felt. "It took me a long time to figure it out, to understand the secrets tearing her apart from the inside, secrets she would take to her grave if she had the choice."

 

Akash couldn't help but think what else Khushi kept from him. What he had assumed to be nothing more than just a petty office romance was turning out to be more complicated than his own relationship.

 

"I don't know where, when or how I knew," Arnav said, thoughtfully. "Things like that stop holding meaning when you are with her. The only thing I cared about is her. And it wasn't something that started when she let me in... it started from that night. I didn't realize it, but I was trying to take care of her since day one. All those times I told her to rethink her relationship with you... it was for her."

 

Akash looked at him, startled.  

 

Arnav exhaled, understanding his unasked questions. "Did I know you loved her? Yes. Did I know what it would do to you if she turned you down? Yes, though I pretended not to. Did I still want her to end things with you? Yes. Not even for once was I hesitant to tell her to stop seeing you. "

 

To Akash's great surprise, he didn't feel angry to hear that. In fact, he didn't feel anything all.

 

"I won't pretend I wasn't selfish. I thought I was doing the right thing, that it was the only way both of you could be happy... in the long run anyway."

 

Akash kept mum. He didn't know what to think anymore. His brother's honesty was opening up so many doubts, so many concerns. As they settled into a long silence, Akash couldn't help but recollect the countless hours he deliberated over Khushi's adamancy and drive. He had known better than to simply question her, which meant he was just as far from the mystery she encompassed as ever.

 

It was odd how his brother had managed to get to the bottom of the whole thing in a matter of five weeks. Surely, there was a piece he was missing. How else could Arnav understand Khushi -the same Khushi Akash prided himself to know the most - so well?

 

The quiet was suddenly interrupted by a frustrated growl. Akash turned to see his brother running his hand through his usually well-combed hair, muttering feverishly:

 

"I just... It's just... she went through so much! More than I could ever imagine in my wildest dreams... and all I wanted to do was, fix it. I wanted to make her fear go away, make her smile and live a day where she doesn't feel like it's a burden to breathe. I just wanted her to be..."

 

"Happy," Akash finished softly.

 

Arnav's shoulders fell in defeat. "Yes... happy. Though it's such a relative term that I'm not even sure what it means anymore."

Or you just don't want to tell me, Akash thought dully. He had a shrewd idea what made Khushi happy, but it was a topic he didn't want to divulge into. So, he asked the other pressing question:

 

"I don't get it. Why fix her? Why not just let her be? She is stronger than most, you said it yourself. Why do you have to take care of her?"

 

Arnav opened his mouth to reply, but closed it right away. He blinked dazedly, before slowly looking down at the floor, his answer obvious: he didn't know.

 

And Akash finally understood. The problem wasn't that both of them loved her; it was that they assumed she was same person, when in truth she wasn't. The Khushi he knew was tough as stone, immovable and unchanging. She was a fixture in his life that gave him the fresh start he always wanted. But to Arnav, she was something else entirely. She was a girl of self-respect, a woman of resilience, an inspiration that touched him somewhere so deep that he himself couldn't come to terms with it.

 

As the epiphany sunk it, Akash asked the last, but perhaps the most important, question of all: "Does she know?"

 

Arnav shook his head. "It's... it's complicated."

 

Akash didn't press for details. He gazed down at the vast living room of Shantivaan, seeing what had been staring at his face all this time. Khushi had never been his and he made a complete fool of himself by pretending she was.

 

As the settled into another long silence, Arnav spoke evenly:  "You should also know something else."

 

Akash waited, wondering what was possibly left to say.

 

"You are free... free from this family and its insane demands. You don't have to sacrifice your dreams for a company that means nothing to you. You are free to do whatever you like."

 

He was stunned.

 

"Just try not to run too far though," Arnav continued with a melancholic smile. "Anjali needs you... and so do I. Some attachments are hard to shake off."

 

"B-but... wh-y?" Akash spluttered, unable to believe his brother had relented for no reason whatsoever.

 

A grim expression crossed Arnav's eyes. "Because I've begun to realize just how much it costs us when you have to let go of a dream that you keeps you alive. I can't and won't let you pay that price."

 

Akash couldn't speak. He was suddenly reminded of the time he had slipped from the staircase and injured his head -incidentally- on the same night his parents passed away. He had been eleven years old and Arnav, seventeen. Despite the fatal outcome of that one small accident, the only thing Akash remembered from that night just before he fell unconscious was his brother's voice, livid with panic and fear.

 

That had been the first time he realized the extent of Arnav's affection for them. And after today, he won't make the mistake of forgetting it ever again.

 

"Try to stay for a few days," Arnav said with finality, turning around to head to his study. "Anju will be happy."

 

He had almost made it to the end of the second floor hallway, when Akash found his voice again.

 

"Bhai?"

 

He glanced back.

 

"I won't be mad if it works out for both of you. I can't promise that I will be happy, but I will try to, even if it takes time. Hopefully one day I will see what you see and maybe then, I will finally understand why you are better for her."