Chapter 44

Kushi shifted her gaze from LCD screen to Arnav sensing his eyes on her. She gave him questioning look which he ignored and got back to his work as if he was not caught by his wife while checking her out. Kushi shook her head and concentrated on the song which was going on the music channel; the only channel she is allowed to watch by her husband in addition to spiritual channels. Kushi gracefully disregarded the second option and stuck to the first one.

'All thanks to Shriya!' She grimly thought. Apparently it was Shriya who told her husband to keep eye on whatever Kushi watches because watching something sad may cause depression. And Arnav being Arnav blocked all other channels except these two, much to kushi's irritation. As soon as the next song ended she felt his gaze on her again and turned to him.

"What?" She barked at him. "I won't melt or evaporate if you didn't check me in every five minutes! Okay?" Arnav smiled sheepishly before busying himself in his laptop. Kushi heaved an angry sigh. Yes, she is pregnant and has some complications. But she is totally annoyed with all family members observing her keenly and treating her like fragile doll. It has been three weeks since her husband had gone to work.

Not that she complaint about having him next to her all the time, but sometimes he irritates her to the core just like he is doing now. When he repeated his action once more, Kushi lost it completely. "You know what Arnav? you..." she stopped noticing his grin. "Forget it! There is no use in talking to you!" She murmured to herself and switched off the television.

Arnav watched her as she got up from bed and moved towards him. He immediately closed his laptop and moved the table aside from recliner he was sitting. "why did you close it?" He looked up hearing his wife furious tone. "Arnav, what were you doing that you closed your laptop as soon as i came? What are you hiding from me?" She asked him suspiciously making his gasp.

Yesterday she was the one who complained that he is paying more attention to laptop than her and today when he stopped working to pay attention to her, she is suspecting him. "i was working Kushi!" he told her in annoyed tone. "If you were doing official work, then there is no need to close your laptop when your wife comes near you!" Kushi argued.

"There is need to do it, if your wife happens to be the CEO of your rival company!" Arnav answered with victorious smirk adorning his face. Kushi opened and closed her mouth like fish before giving him a glare and commanding "move." Arnav moved back so that Kushi can sit in between his legs. "Give me your laptop! I want to watch my serial!"

Arnav began to protest but she cut him off. "Serial is going in happy phase Arnav. last week i saw the promo! Sana is pregnant and she is going to tell this to her husband. I want to see Adi's reaction. Oh god, I am so happy for them!" Arnav looked at her in awe as she spoke dramatically. "Where is your laptop?" Arnav asked hoping that she will leave him and his laptop free.

Instead of watching her soap, he fixed his eyes on Kushi face. She gave different expressions with each dialogue. He felt contended seeing her happy. It was her 35^th week. For past four weeks, Kushi was responding well to the treatment. After her breaking down to him, she never spoke about dying and other things. She told him that she will not worry any more as she was sure that he will take care of everything. This scared him but he was happy seeing her optimistic.

He can never thank Shriya enough for the positivity she had induced in Kushi. But Shriya gives all credit to Kushi saying that she is showing enormous will power to live and actually doesn't need a doctor. Anyway he was glad with Kushi's improvement. His thoughts were disturbed by Kushi's excited voice. "i know...i know...it's nursery! How sweet!"

Arnav looked at screen where a young man was undoing the girls blindfold. "what the?" He mumbled seeing the girl's big tummy. Last scene only doctor confirmed that girl was pregnant and next scene, there are showing her like nine month pregnant women. Arnav was sure that baby will be born in next scene. If only life is also so fast like that! Arnav just wished that he could fast forward few weeks of his life.

He just couldn't handle the tension. With every passing second, his fear grows 1000 times. It looks like his wife's negativity has shifted to him. He gets weird nightmares like loosing Kushi. But he never showcased his fears in front of Kushi or anyone else for matter of fact. He is scared of Kushi having premature labour. Consequences can be bad. And also he was not sure whether Kushi will able to go through it. Though she appears to be confident, he knows that inside her she is still scared.

Doctor had fixed date for c-section at the start of her 38^th week. If they operate, then nothing can go wrong but in premature normal delivery, everything can go wrong. He just hopes that these three weeks passes soon and everything will be fine. At same time he wishes that day must never come in his life.

"You are a bad husband and worst father, Arnav. Learn from Adi." Kushi pouted and pinched his thigh hard when he didn't respond. "Kushi!" Arnav shouted making her jerk. "What happened to you? Arnav!" Kushi asked concernedly turning to him. Arnav shook his head from unwanted thoughts and calmed himself. He first apologised to her and then spoke in calm tone.

"Kushi, we already talked about this. We will buy everything for our child but only after her birth. Why do you think i managing all work from home? I want you to be in front of my eyes every second. My first concern is your health, understood? Also when we buy things for her or decorate the room, i want you to be with me. Anything our child gets must be from her parents not from her mom or dad alone!"

Kushi made a face and turned to the laptop. Arnav smiled and kissed her cheek making her pout. Just like Arnav had guessed, the next of episode of Kushi's serial started with hero walking anxiously outside the operation theatre. As soon as the nurse gave the baby to the hero, tears flow down his face. "Kushi are you crying?"Arnav asked to which kushi shook her head and wiped her face.

"Come on, Kushi! It's just a serial and i think he is overacting. Who cries when holding their child in hand?" Arnav questioned his wife. Kushi sniffed and said "all fathers who love their child will cry. I am sure you will cry buckets when you first hold our child in your hands." Kushi said making him to wind his hands around her belly.

"No way, Kushi. When i hold our child in my hands, it will be the happiest day of my life. Why will i cry on that day?" Arnav asked his wife who challenged in return. "Let's see! Let's see what you do on that day? I just wish i will be conscious to witness it." Kushi said closing the YouTube and started to google something.

Arnav hugged her tightly. "Don't worry; we will both hold our child together. I will wait till you regain your consciousness." Kushi turned to him and replied sarcastically. "Yeah, like you will turn your face other side when nurse gives you baby and wait for me!" Arnav groaned at her sarcasm. "Arnav look at the names! We will select one nice name for our daughter. let's start with A."

Kushi scrolled page down looking at names and its meanings. "Kushi, stop." Arnav said making her to halt. "Aditi?" she asked uncertainly and Arnav nodded. "Which means mother of all goddess or the earth? Nice! Aditi..." Kushi said liking the name. "Aditi singh Raizada!" Arnav completed her words.

"Arnav, may i come in?" Arnav looked up from his file and nodded at Lavanya. Kushi, who was walking from corner to other, stopped and said "what's there to ask Lavanya? Come in!" Lavanya smiled and asked while entering the room. "what are you doing, Kushi?"

"She got bored of taking rest. So she is walking!" Arnav answered for his wife closing his file. "Dont look at me like that! I am just walking and it's good for health!" Kushi said halting next to bed where Arnav was seated. "Okay ok, cool down Kushi." Lavanya said and turned to Arnav. "are you free, Arnav? i wanted to ask you something!" Arnav nodded to her to go ahead.

"you both talk, i will go and check on di." Kushi said but lavanya stopped her. "actually i wanted to talk with both of you!" Arnav looked at her intently and asked "whats the matter lavanya? You seem to be nervous. Sit down first!" Lavanya sat on other end of bed and questioned him. "Arnav, what do you think of marriage of convenience?"

"You mean arranged marriage? it's so dreamy and fantastic! You don't know anything about..." Kushi stopped noticing Arnav's strange look. Arnav turned to look at Lavanya and questioned "why are you asking about it?" lavanya bit her lower lip in nervousness. "Because i got a proposal!" Arnav asked little confusedly. "Meaning?"

"Okay!" lavanya took a deep breath. "Long story in short! There is a guy! He was engaged to Poorvi's maasi and also Poorvi's father's best friend. Both the families were going to Poorvi's parents native to perform certain marriage ritual in private bus which met with accident. He said door got jammed and he was the one who jumped out through window with Poorvi. He kept her in safe place and ran back to bus. Bus was full of his relatives. When he was near, bus exploded and he was severely injured."

"No one survived. He was in coma for months. In between poorvi was transferred from Mumbai to banglore. It took him time to trace her. Since he was not blood relative to Poorvi, he couldn't claim any rights on her. He was not even married to her maasi. He applied for adoption but was denied because he was unmarried and Poorvi was girl child. He came to delhi and asked me to handover Poorvi since she was his only left possession. But seeing my bond with Poorvi, he gave another idea."

"He proposed for marriage. In that way Poorvi will get parents. i told him everything about me and asked for his decision. He said at first he just wanted to marry me but now he had decided to marry me." Lavanya finished with smile at her last sentence which didn't go unnoticed by other two. She continued. "i said first my family has accept it. So he wanted to meet you all!"

Kushi looked Arnav not sure what he will say. He processed all information. "i will ask Aman to do background check. You ask him to come for lunch. But thats not important. What do you think?" Lavanya was startled by question. "Me? I dont know. But if it is for Poorvi's good, then okay for me."

Kushi interrupted her. "i think guy is honest. You should accept it. i am happy for you, Lavanya." Lavanya looked little confused but immediately smiled and walked out thanking them. "i will be back in few minutes kushi!" Arnav said before following lavanya. Lavanya halted hearing him call her. "Are you okay? You seem disturbed? You didn't like that guy, right? There is no need for you to..."

Lavanya stopped him. "i am not even considering the proposal, Arnav. After what all happened with me...you know. i even told the guy that i need time and mostly result will be negative. But he wants to wait! I would have never told about it to you but i wanted Kushi to believe that i have completely moved on. That's why i came here." She smiled at him which was returned by him. "Thanks...but.."

"i didn't lie, Arnav..." Lavanya stopped as he shook his head. "Tell about that guy!" Lavanya gasped hearing his question. "He seems to be nice guy but he is not for me. He is intelligent and has great sense of humour. He easily makes me to laugh. Most importantly he has strong will power and very determined. After what all happened he didn't lose his hope..."

Arnav observed her as she explained about him. "Overall he is perfect except his name." Arnav chuckled seeing her reaction and asked his name. Lavanya made a face like she had swallowed some bitter medicine and said "Nandikishore!"

Arnav paused hearing laughter from downstairs. "aman, you mail me all details. I will check it and then contact you." He cut the call hurriedly and walked towards source of sound. It has been long since he heard his family member's laughter but from time this guy called NK entered his house, everything changed. His profile was clean and whatever he said was true.

Everyone liked him instantly except Arnav. To everyone's surprise, Kushi and NK knew each other. In fact they were neighbours in London. Kushi gave him big conduct certificate to Lavanya saying he will make better husband than Arnav. Of course, Arnav was not jealous. Why should he be that too on guy who speak with funny accent killing both Hindi and English? He just didn't like him. It's nothing to do with kushi's conduct certificate. Of course not!

As he climbed down, he saw his family gathered around dining table. "What i should call you?" Prem asked NK sitting next to him. "Whatever you like! Call me NK or buddy or bhai or friend or even monkey!" Prem and anjali laughed. "or wait what you call lavanya? mami? Then call me mama!" he said winking at Prem and gave high five. "we already have mama! I won't call you that! Monkey seems better!" Pia retorted angrily making NK's jaw to drop down.

'That's my princess!' Arnav thought happily and decided to buy best gift for Pia later. Kushi whispered to NK. "She is mama's girl. Arnav will approve you only if she approves you! Careful NK!" NK nodded and said "oh..i get it...i get it...dont worry Kush!" this time he winked at Kushi and turned to Pia. "So you like your nannav mama!"

"My mama name is Arnav!" Pia shouted for third time losing her control. She didn't like this guy from the time he pronounced Arnav as nannav. Now she hates him. "wahi...wahi...you see i have problem with Indian names." Pia looked disinterested. "so pia, what do you like? Ice cream or chocolate?"

Pia looked at him with irritation. "why are you asking me so many questions? Cant you see i am eating?" Lavanya giggled sitting in empty chair next to NK with Poorvi and her food. Arnav watched from distance how Poorvi jumped into NK's arms. She seemed to identify him well. Lavanya made a sulky face and asked her to come back. when Poorvi didn't obey she feed her in that position itself.

The scene felt perfect to Arnav. Lavanya needs to have her share of happiness and NK seems to be perfect guy for her. He watched as NK whispered something to her 'and immediately Lavanya chuckled. Arnav admired NK's character because after what all happened he still tries to make everyone around him happy and more importantly he tries very hard to make Lavanya comfortable. Arnav knew Lavanya will accept him. It's just matter of time.

As he watched NK tickling poorvi to open her mouth and Lavanya plunge the spoon in, something tugged his heart. Will he be able get this happiness in his life? Slowly his fears and nightmares started to creep his mind. He will do anything to be in that situation with Kushi and their daughter; to be a happy family. But question is what destiny has planned for him?

"nannav, mere bhai! What are you doing there? Come here...come here...food is kamal hai." NK exclaimed. Arnav sighed while all others shouted "it's Arnav!" NK held his ears and said "wahi..wahi..." and whole family burst into laughter.

A week later, when Arnav came out after his bath, he noticed that Kushi was lying in c shape like she was in pain. "Kushi!" He rushed to her. She turned to him breathing hard. "ar...nav...i ...cant..." the minute she held his shoulder, Arnav knew that day has come. With the intensity she held his shoulders told him about the pain she was going through. "kushi, its okay. Everything will be fine. i am with you, okay? Di...Nani...kushi look at me...stay conscious, okay?"

Twenty minutes later, they were in operation theatre. Kushi didn't shout but her breathing scared him to the core. She was losing her consciousness. "kushi...kushi..." He patted her cheeks with his left hand while she was holding his right hand in death grip. He looked at Dr. Mehra who shook her head and then began to wake her again.

He didn't hear a single word as doctor explained that baby has changed its position and it is better if they go for c-section because Kushi seems to be very weak and he has to move out. Not even single word fell on his ears. He jerked as a nurse tried to pull him away from Kushi. "Mr. Raizada, you have to leave." he silently watched as the nurse unwraped his hand from Kushi and walked out as she led him to the door.

"chotey..." He heard his sister voice and felt her hand on his shoulder. But he didn't respond. He simply looked at his right hand which was holding Kushi few minutes before. They just untangled it so easily. That's it. Everything was over. They separated him from her just like that. They separated him from her forever. It's his mistake. He should have not left her as he promised. But he left her just like that. She believed he will save her. But he didn't do anything to save her instead left her.

He had betrayed her again. He had left her again. "chotey..." his sisters voice sounded very distant. He looked at his trembling hands as his breathing became ragged and tears filled his eyes. Slowly everything seemed to blur. His sister voice didn't reach his ears. The pressure he was sensing for few weeks overtook him and finally he passed out.