Chapter 40

"Unicornuate uterus is an abnormality of uterus which is found in less than one percent of women. Their uterus size is small when compared with others and also they have only one functional fallopian tube..." Arnav leaned back on his seat trying to relax his aching muscles while his tired eyes were fixed to Dr.Mehra's face.

It has been nearly forty hours since he confronted Kushi; it has been forty hours since he ate or slept or did anything properly for matter of fact. He tried to stretch his leg more to soothe throbbing sensation and promptly earned disapproving look from Shriya who looked up from the report she was reading before resuming to read it.

He slightly shook his head at his own condition. He doesn't know what this is going to do to Kushi but now he sure that what's happening is going to kill him even before her. He was tired like hell. He badly needed some rest. But he had struggled to make this appointment with Mrs. Mehra in such a short notice as her book was already filled with appointments and operations and not to mention emergency cases. She was the best gynaecologist of Delhi and also Kushi's doctor.

He paid attention to what she was saying. She was saying nothing he didn't know. In last forty hours, he googled almost hundred sites and read, to be more precise, memorized nearly fifty case studies of women with unicornuate uterus. He even talked with his family doctor and then with Dr. Ragini Sharma, anjali's gynaecologist.

What was most confusing thing is everything he heard and read led him into conclusion that this abnormality is not a threat to mother's life as much as it is to infant. This is exactly opposite of what Kushi had said to him.

Arnav shook his head to get rid of her voice and then interrupted Dr. Mehra. "Sorry for interruption doctor but i knew what unicornuate uterus is. Just tell me what is Kushi's condition? Will she be able to survi...I mean what are her chances?" Arnav asked in nervous tone making both Dr. Mehra and Shriya to look at him in surprise.

"Who told you that Kushi's life is in danger?" Dr. Mehra asked with amusement. "Mr. Raizada, three ill effects of having unicornuate uterus is infertility, miscarriage and premature labour. Luckily Kushi didn't have first two problems and coming to premature labour, I don't think we have to worry about it. Going by kushi's current health condition, she will be able to go through it. If some problem arises, we always have c-section to help. It might put baby life in danger but not Kushi's." Dr. Mehra finished confidently.

Arnav was perplexed. "But kushi's doctor had told her that she will not able to survive this pregnancy and she must do abortion!" Dr. Mehra raised her brows. "Kushi's doctor?" Arnav shook his head and corrected what he said before. "Not you but the one at Mumbai." Dr. Mehra nodded in understanding and started to speak.

"She is my friend and she is the one who recommended me to Kushi. Any doctor would have said the same because Kushi's condition was pretty bad at that time. I guess you have no idea about it." She said in high pitch as her temper rose at her patient's suddenly concerned husband. Arnav sat there silently as guilt filled his heart.

"She was very anaemic and her blood pressure was very low than normal. To top of it, she was under some mental depression. She was in hospital bed for a week as she was too weak even to walk properly with fatigue. Even I thought Kushi is putting herself under high risk by undergoing this pregnancy. Do you even know that she had two contractions in her first trimester itself? Do you any idea how dangerous contractions are during first trimester."

Arnav froze with information he was getting. The doctor continued "first one was mild at her sixth week after which she came to me. She had second one at tenth week which was pretty bad. She almost lost the child!" Arnav shut his eyes tightly and clenched his fist. Kushi had undergone so much, all alone. He was not with her when she needed him the most. Just to hear that they could have lost their child was so painful. What Kushi must have gone through that time?

"Kushi told me that you both are not in good terms and you are already informed about her condition. Moreover when you come here for first time, last month, there was no need for me to tell it. Both Kushi and baby were doing fine. Surprisingly her health condition was improving from her 12 week and as I said currently she is at good position." She said as a matter of fact to which Arnav nodded.

Doctor studied Arnav's face which looked lost and added "She will be fine, Mr. Raizada. Trust me on this." Arnav nodded with small smile as hope started to fill him. "She worries me Arnav." Shriya announced loudly and kept the kushi's report down which she had been reading for a while. "She worries me a lot." She said again looking at the man she considers as her brother.

Arnav knew Shriya Kapoor for two years. She was Lavanya's psychologist. When Lavanya regained her memory, her psychiatrist had asked Arnav to consult psychologist to overcome the effects of rape. But as Lavanya was reluctant to open up with elder women, psychiatrist recommended Shriya, one of her best student. Apparently it was Shriya's first case and she did pretty good job. If Lavanya is what she is now, then most of the credit goes to Shriya.

In fact, it was Lavanya who had suggested Arnav to consult Shriya. Lavanya said Kushi needed psychological help. He looked at Shriya as sudden worry started to load him. "I don't know Arnav. i am not sure. But what i derived from my yesterday session with her does not seems good. Of course i cannot conclude it just from one sitting. But she has really got some serious problems!"

"First answer me this, Arnav? What do you know about her past? Does she talk about it with you freely?" She enquired in curious tone. Arnav thought for a while and replied "she talks about it only when she wants to and not when i ask her. That too she talks only about her mother!" Arnav said in flow as his memory resurfaced their past.

"I guessed it. She didn't answer any of my questions about it. I think she was under kind of psychological sickness from her childhood. Though I am not sure what kind of problem she had, I am sure she is not normal. She is emotionally very weak." All three sat in silence until Shriya began to talk again.

"For some unknown reasons that Mumbai doctors words were implanted in her mind firmly. She strongly believes she will not survive this. She is ready to die and has no desire to live further. If you are not scared of death, it is good but this kind of attitude is unneeded. She even said to me that her mother is waiting for her to come. Only two more months and she can go back to her mom. I don't know from where these rubbish thoughts came to her mind." Shriya shuddered her shoulders in disbelief.

"Arnav, to fight any disease we need more mental strength than physical. A woman needs to be very strong during labour. She has to fight. But Kushi is ready to give up even without a fight. Normally in these cases, we request doctor to go for c-section. But if premature labour we can't do anything. With this kind of mind set, i doubt whether Kushi will not be able to survive this labour. Unicornuate uterus is not a problem but her mind set is." Shriya finished leaving room to be in dead silence again.

Arnav felt his hope getting evaporated into air with passing minutes as strange fear got into his system. "Mr. Raizada, Shriya is right. Kushi needs some psychological help more than mine. She is still in thirtieth week. We can hope for best." Dr. Mehra said. Arnav nodded and looked at Shriya. "shriya..." But he was cut off by her. "You don't have to ask me, Arnav. I am already into it. I will come to your home today at 4 pm." She said to him fondly and received a smile in response.

Arnav looked around the room and was relieved when he didn't find Kushi. He was not sure how to deal with her anymore. What if he hurt her again? He was angry, not sure whether on himself or on her. But he was angry and very upset. He went to his office straight from hospital. He came here only because Shriya will be here in forty minutes.

He massaged him tired neck with his fingers. He badly needed a hot shower to soothe his aching muscles and then a sleep. He checked the clock. Sleep is not possible because Shriya will be here soon but shower will do. He went to closet to pick his clothes when fragile hands wound over his waist. "When did you come home? I missed you!"

He sighed and removed her hands from his waist before turning to her. Kushi pouted sheepishly and then smiled at him. A smile which makes him feels alive. A smile for which he is ready give up his life. Without saying a word, he turned back again. "Arnav...so you are still angry with me?" she sulked moving back while Arnav hands stilled. Her sad voice made him feel guilty.

"You have reasons to be angry but still you are too much. I have apologized so many times." She moped before asking "are you going to stay angry without talking to me like this for next two months? But remember one thing, after two months even if you want to talk to me, you can't because...shhh" She hissed as he held roughly held her by holding her upper arms.

"Don't you dare say it Kushi! I warn you or else I don't know what i will do?" He shouted on her face as she looked at him in pain. He heaved a sigh and let her go composing himself. He watched her as she rubbed her arms and cautioned her "don't make me do things which I don't want to do Kushi. Shriya will be here in minutes. She is here to help; use her."

Kushi looked up as he walked away. She stopped him by exclaiming "who? The girl who came yesterday? Oh...no, no Arnav. She is hell annoying. She is asking me too much question. I don't want to talk with her...she is..." Arnav interrupted her and tried to talk in calm tone. "Kushi, i didn't ask your opinion. She will be here and you have to talk to her whether you like it or not."

"You cannot force me..." Kushi began to yell but stopped when he stormed out of the room. She collapsed on bed. She can understand his anger for hiding such big thing from him. But she didn't have any other choice. Did she?

She was half dead when her mom died. Her mom was her only reason to breathe. When she died Kushi had no desire to live more. She didn't eat properly nor sleep. Even when she wanted to do that she couldn't do it. Her life was completely shattered. Even before she could recover from it, she witnessed her father's death. When she thought that it would be better if she dies, she became aware of her pregnancy.

Her whole life changed again within a second. She found a new reason to live; she found a new reason to look forward for tomorrow. She decided to have child. Thought of abortion or coming back to Arnav never came to her mind. Her child doesn't need a father; a father who used his mother to take revenge; a father who was responsible for his grandparent's death; a father who his mother hates. No child deserved a father like him. She will be her child's father and mother at same time.

But her happiness was short lived. Doctor had asked her to have an abortion as this pregnancy might put her and child's life into danger. But Kushi knew that if she did it, then she will not able to live even for a second after that. Her conscious will kill her. How can she kill her only reason to live?

If she gets through it, then she can live with her child. If she doesn't, then she can die with her child happily. She had already lost many things. There is nothing more to lose. If she lives, then she will live only with her child and not alone. Decision was taken. This pregnancy issue didn't scare her much. How can it when she was already ready to die? She just decided to take life as it comes.

The thought that scared her was what if she dies and her child lives. She didn't want her child to grow under the influence of her brother or money. As days passed by, this was the only thought which occupied her mind. The more she thought about it, more her health deteriorated. That week she had a mild contraction. Her doctor recommended that she needs a specialist. Like it was destiny's wish she landed in Delhi.

She hired private investigator to know more about Arnav. She thought of going back to him but decided against it. She hated that man. When she came to know that Arnav was happy with his family, she hated him more. What precisely hurt her was fact that he had another girl in his life. A girlfriend of ten years! God only knows how much she hated his very existence on earth. But she knew that he was her only hope for their child's future. If something happens to her only he can save their child.

But the last thing she wanted to do that time was to go back to the man who destroyed her life and beg him to take care of their child if she dies. Her ego didn't allow her to do that. Her mother raised her in good way but still she had Aditya's blood running inside her. She will never go and touch her enemy's feet. And Arnav indeed was her enemy.

Another contraction which happened in tenth week made her to change her decision. She was scared for her life; for her child's life. Her pain, her Loneliness began to torture her. Her money which brought her many helps never got her what she longed for; love. She wanted someone to share her pain; to shower her with love. She wanted a family. She needed him, not to love her but at least to stand by her.

She opted to go back to him but not to tell the reason and look pathetic in front of him. She decided to ask for six months marriage. If she is alive after delivery, she will leave with the child. If not, he will take care of their child. But what if he doesn't agree to this? She has to make him agree by hook or crook. She concluded to defeat him she has to use his own sick games.

Revenge was not on her mind. She never wanted it. If she had wanted it then she had hundred ways to do it. With all money she had, she could destroy him completely within few minutes. All she wanted to do was to see hurt look on his face and to make sure her child was in safer hands after her. She has to play on his family which was her only trump card.

The thought that she could defeat him made her confident. She became Kushi which she was before her mother died. She shouted back at him and hurt him. Surprisingly after three months, Kushi felt alive that day. It gave her sadistic pleasure. She looked forward to next day to fight with him more. Then she became aware that mistake was on her father too, she became curious to find out past.

In all these things, she actually forgot that she had some complication and her life was in danger. Unexpectedly her health condition became better. She thought that it was because these people who took good care of her. But the real reason was she got what longed to get since her birth; everyone's love. Everything was fine until the day she realised that she was still in love with her enemy.

She hated herself for loving her enemy but still couldn't hate him. And when she became aware of his past, she knew that she could never hate him, that too not when she was strong enough to fall for him again and again. She decided not to think about future. She just wanted to live the moment with the man she loved the most who was apparently her enemy too.

The problem began when he confessed her love. Suddenly she became aware that this going to hurt him badly as much as it is going to hurt her. For some reasons, Arnav avoided her for two days after his confession and she felt like she couldn't breathe. This scared her more. Will Arnav be able to take it if something happens to her? She had seen his true love for her in his eyes.

She felt stupid to come back to him. It would have been better if she had never come back. At least Arnav would have been happy with Lavanya. She knew Arnav had gone through so much in his past; she didn't want to hurt him. She loved him. Then how can she hurt him? She decided to make everything right for Arnav like it was before she came.

She brought Lavanya back. But her plan fired back as Lavanya was hell bent on making her confess the real reason. And here was she today! Not without knowing what she is going to do next. A knock on door brought Kushi back to present. A woman in mid-twenty came in and smiled sweetly at her. Kushi heaved a sigh in irritation.

Arnav opened his eyes when he heard footsteps and got up from the couch. He checked his watch which showed that it's going to be six. After rubbing his sleepy eyes, he walked to Shriya who was descending the steps in somewhat grumpy mood. "What happened?" he asked as she stepped down the last step.

"Where did you find that girl?" Shriya barked on his face stunning him. Even before he could react, she continued "you know what she is perfect fit to be Mrs. Arnav Singh Raizada. But the problem is you both are not fit to live on this earth." She shouted on his face and muttered to herself making a face "STUBBORNESS PERSONIFIED."

"Excuse me..." Arnav asked in amused tone. "Did she tell you that she doesn't want me to come here?" she enquired him and Arnav nodded. "Then why did you force her man? Do you know what she did? She asked me how long i will be here. I replied that for an hour. After that she didn't even open her mouth. Not even uttered a single word." Shriya raised her forefinger up and explained him.

"i tried to talk with her. Actually i was talking with her continuously and all she did was stare at me like she was attending some boring history lecture. I can deal with the people who are shy or scared but not with stubborn people like you and your wife." She finished angrily turning to other side. Arnav shook his head before calling her out. "shriya..."

"Arnav, i am seriously worried for her." Shriya said turning to him quickly. There was no anger or irritation in her voice but only concern. "She had already made her mind up, Arnav. i am scared if i do counselling, it might have reverse effect. She might do something to hurt herself. She might not eat or sleep properly. She is so stubborn and unpredictable. We can't compromise on her health at this stage." Arnav enquired her "what do you want me to do now?"

"Don't do anything. It's going to affect her more. Just hope that she gets through this and leave her..." before she could complete, Arnav shouted "I CANT JUST LEAVE HER LIKE THIS DAMMIT. She is my wife and i love her a lot..." He paused as his throat constricted with pain. "You do not understand Shriya. I can't live without her even for a second. I love her damn it." his voice completely broke and tears broke out from his eyes.

"i can understand you Arnav. But i am sorry i can't help you. Tell me what i can do with a girl who says that she has no reason to live more." She explained him patting his shoulder but he was not ready to buy her answer. "Come on, Shriya. You are psychologist and have attended many people. You can do something."

Shriya argued "you do not understand Arnav. What can i say to her when she is not even listening to what i say? She won't listen to me or anyone other than you. So if anything can be done, then, only you can do it." Arnav asked her hurriedly. "Tell me what i have do? I will do anything for her." Shriya smiled and nodded.