Chapter 21
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[MEMBERSONLY]
CHAPTER 18
She cleared her throat trying to gain Arnav's attention. But all her efforts went in vain as latter one was busy staring at the floor. "Arnav." She called softly as she extended her hand to hold Arnav's. She gently squeezed his entwined fingers hoping that it will make him to react. As it gained her no response, she cried "Arnav, for god's sake, say something. It has been an hour since you are here. But..?"
"Four hours Lavanya." his voice seemed to be more broken than his appearance. Suddenly raising his head and then looking straight into a pair of helpless eyes, he shouted "four damn hours, i was standing outside this door watching you fight for your life. Do you have any idea about what i was going through? Why did you do this, Lavanya?"
Lavanya jerked back as he got stood up from his the stool he was sitting next to her bed. "If you were angry with me for what i did, then you could have called me, scolded me, slapped me or even killed me if you wanted to do it. You have every right to do it. But why did you hurt yourself?" he closed his eyes running his hands through his hair, calming himself.
"Six years! Six years you went through all these sh**s just to die now? Just to die now, like this? That's it?" he asked her in disbelief. "Before taking those pills, just for once, did you think about the people who love you? Why you people can't understand that this life of yours belongs to people around you as much as it belongs to you! Effect of suicide is not just a death, Lavanya. It affects every life around you. That's why it is termed as a sin." He explained her in much controlled voice.
She lowered her lashes feeling idiotic of what she did. Arnav was right. She could have reacted in many ways but she chose extreme reaction. She admitted "I am sorry, Arnav. i guess in a moment of weakness..." She stopped as two strong arms held hers. Arnav was sitting on the stool, looking at her. "Do you know how scared i was? What if, if something had really happened to you?"
His voice clogged and no words came from him as he rested is forehead on her joined hands which he was holding. "Don't you ever even think of doing this again, Lavanya. Please. Hate me, hurt me or do whatever you want. But please don't hurt yourself. Please Lavanya." He cried like a small child begging for forgiveness from his mother. "i won't. I promise." She assured him.
An hour later, Lavanya looked at the plaster on her left hand from where the nurse has just disconnected the drips bottle. "Does it still hurts?" she turned hearing Arnav's voice. Lavanya nodded making a face. Even before he could say anything, the door of hospital room got opened making them to spin their heads towards it.
A young, nervous lady held the door open but didn't enter the room. "kushi." the voice made her to step back and door closed on her face on its own accord. Kushi thought that her heart will jump out of mouth any time soon. She looked at the door as it got opened and her husband stepped out. 'Don't get scared Kushi. You didn't do anything wrong nor you were going to do it.' She cheered herself.
"Kushi, what are you doing here?" Her husband enquired her. "I came to see Lavanya. i want to apologize to her. Please don't stop me, Arnav. please." she finished in one breath. She became confused when Arnav simply stared at her without replying. "What?" She asked.
"I don't understand why you are saying 'please' so many times when you very well know that I will never say no to you. It feels odd. Anyway, why did you think that I won't allow you to meet Lavanya? In fact, I am happy that you came here!" Even before he finished his last sentence, unconsciously a smile appeared on kushi's face.
He continued "Kushi, I am sorry for what..." She interrupted him asking "is she awake? Can I go and see her now?" she looked at the closed door enthusiastically, as if she didn't hear a word of what he said, clearly indicating Arnav that she had come here only for Lavanya and their fight is still not over. He studied her for a moment and then nodded.
Kushi felt a chill run through her spine when Lavanya raised her gaze to meet her's. She doesn't how Lavanya will react to her or talk to her. But she knew that she has to apologize to her for the way she behaved yesterday. She forced a smile on her face eclipsing her nervousness. Her smile was responded with another smile. Relief started to sink inside Kushi and she moved towards Lavanya.
She became more relaxed when she felt her husband's presence behind her. "hi." Lavanya said expectantly. Kushi replied with a smile and asked "how are you feeling now?"
"good." Lavanya replied instantly in a hurried manner. Kushi noticed that Lavanya was clenching and unclenching her fingers in nervousness. Seeing Lavanya like that made Kushi to feel more anxiety. As silence grew more, the tension between them grew more. The reason for tension and nervousness was simple. For Lavanya, Kushi was her lover's wife and for Kushi, Lavanya was her husband's ex.
'Just say sorry and leave this place, Kushi.' she said to herself. Gulping the lump in her throat, she opened her mouth to say sorry. "i am sorry Kushi." kushi's widened as soon as lavanya's guilty voice reached her ears. She looked at Lavanya in shock as she continued "sorry for behaving like that yesterday. I can understand what you must be feeling. He is your husband and i was..."
Kushi simply stared at Lavanya. She was here to ask forgiveness from Lavanya for what she said yesterday but she is asking for her forgiveness for the mistake she had never committed. Strange weight began to descend down her heart when Lavanya continued further. "Believe me; I had no idea about your marriage. If i had known it i would have walked out of your lives much earlier."
Tears started to fill kushi's eyes thinking how rudely she talked yesterday and how Lavanya is talking to her today. "But it's all your husband's mistake. He only hid it from me." Lavanya pointed to Arnav like small child complaining to her school teacher, her voice suddenly sounding more energetic. Kushi rolled her eyes to where Lavanya pointed carefully not letting the tears to spill out of her eyes.
She gave a 'how-can-you-hurt-this-girl' look to Arnav when Lavanya begin to talk again. "But you can't blame him either. He must have been scared of my reaction. See what i have done!" she defended him immediately raising her hands in air and showing her condition in hospital bed.
"Even I feel foolish of what I did yesterday. I think over-reacted. At least i should have talked with him once before doing this. i think yesterday i must have scared you both like hell. Did guys fought over it?" lavanya's question was answered as a lone tear fell from kushi's eyes. "i am sorry Kushi. Really sorry." Her fun-filled voice was long gone.
Now it sounded serious, sincere and guilty.
Kushi clamped her mouth with her hands as she sobbed heavily. "kushi, why are you crying?" Lavanya was shocked. Kushi felt strong chest behind her, then a voice saying 'Kushi' and that was all she needed. She immediately turned and buried herself in the place where she felt home. Her one hand was around his waist while other was clutching to his shirt, she cried immensely.
He soothed her head with one hand pulling her more close to him while other hand held her waist. He allowed her to cry for nearly a minute and then requested to stop crying. "Don't cry so much, Kushi. Please. You might fall sick." He whispered near her ears before placing a soft kiss on her ear lobe. He felt her clutching more of his shirt and noticed that she was on verge of passing out.
"kushi, kushi...oh, no...no." he tried to make her conscious. He quickly made her to sit on bed. Lavanya passed him glass containing water which he declined. He walked to the table where fresh fruit juice given to Lavanya was placed and added three more spoon of sugar to it. "She has low BP." He explained to Lavanya who looked at him in astonishment.
"Kushi, drink this." he kneeled in front of Kushi. Kushi removed her hand from her forehead and held the glass over arnav's hand. She slowly took few sips and then started drinking it properly. "I will call doctor." Arnav said rising from floor but Kushi stopped him. "I am fine Arnav." but when Arnav tried to move, she shouted at top of her voice "i said i am fine."
They both glared at each other like they were ready to kill each other and Lavanya felt like she was crushed between two loggerheads. She quietly asked "so which month are you in, Kushi?" the question made Kushi to snap her head towards Lavanya. Kushi turned to Arnav who was looking at Lavanya in bewilderment.
"He didn't tell me." Lavanya said gaining their attention. She smiled and with her eyes pointed to kushi's belly which she was still holding with her hands. "The minute you started to feel dizziness you held it and till now, you didn't let it go. General gesture of pregnant women when something bad happens around them. i work for NGO which helps lone and offended women and their children. I have seen them." Lavanya explained with admiration.
Kushi smiled and answered "fifth month has just started." For second, Lavanya seemed to be surprised and looked at Arnav. Then she eventually smiled and said "congratulation's to both of you. How are you feeling Kushi? They say no other feelings can beat the feeling of becoming a mother." Kushi smiled looking at her slightly bulged belly and caressing it with love, proud and affection while Arnav stood there watching her with admiration just like any other proud husband.
Wiping all the tear marks on her face, she turned to Lavanya and held her hand. Lavanya was beautiful, kushi noticed. She could understand why her brother lusted over her or why Arnav fell for her. More importantly, she was good being. After spending five minutes with her, she felt angry on Arnav for hurting her. Then how Arnav must have felt when arjun hurt her?
Kushi said "i am really sorry for what i said to you yesterday. Actually I was mad on Arnav. In that anger i talked all non-sense things. Really sorry. I usually never do this...I don't know what happened to me yesterday."
"i know." Lavanya said making kushi's eyes to go wide. "i know you are good. Or else there was no need for you to wait for one month after your marriage to call me. And also Arnav Singh Raizada has married you. That's means only one thing. You must be really nice person. Basically Arnav never allows anyone to come close to him. If he chose you means there must be some reason."
"He didn't choose me. It's just destiny played in our lives." Kushi said bitterly. "What are you saying?" Lavanya asked pulling her legs under her so that Kushi can sit more comfortably. "ouch." She cried when pain started to shoot in her left hand. Arnav moved instantly but before that Kushi held lavanya's hand asking her to be more careful.
Arnav watched them more keenly. They could have met just five minutes before but there was some kind of bond between them which he failed to understand. He said "lavanya, will you be surprised if i say that you already know kushi? Actually she is ar..." but kushi interrupted him abruptly. "i am your junior. I mean i studied in your college." Kushi lied making Lavanya to give awe reaction.
"Which batch you belong to?" Lavanya questioned fascinatingly. "i am four years younger to you both." Kushi answered ignoring arnav's shocked reactions to her lies. "i work for co-operate in Mumbai with which AR industries made a collaboration. That's how we met. But what changed our lives was one party where we both got drank and lost ourselves. Three months later when i found about my pregnancy, we didn't had much choice."
She spoke hastily fearing arnav's interruption. But to her surprise he didn't stop her anywhere though she was obvious to his famous angry glare. Lavanya nodded with blank expression. Kushi declared "i think i should leave now. You take rest. I am also very tired. We will meet later hopefully in better atmosphere." Lavanya nodded while Kushi got up.
"Take care of yourself." They both said in unison and then giggled. "i will drop you home." Arnav said for which Kushi replied "no need, i came in car only." Ignoring kushi's warning signal about Lavanya, he said "its okay. I will drop you. Lavanya i will be back in an hour." Giving him a deadly glare and scolding him under breath, Kushi strode out of room. After pulling the door open, Arnav stopped and turned to Lavanya giving a genuine smile which made Lavanya to smile back.
Lavanya straightened the pillow behind her back and then leaning more on it, she stretched her legs along the bed with a smile still on her face. Arnav and Kushi. They both were really adorable. Especially Kushi seemed to be more caring and loving. She liked everything about her expect one thing; her lies.
Lavanya is not a fool to believe everything she heard. Not after what happened with her life. Absolutely not after what she witnessed with her own eyes just few minutes before. Kushi had spinned whole new story about their past. She knew that Kushi lied to make her feel better. If they had married only for the child then what was that she saw in their eyes? Who was Kushi kidding by saying they don't love each other? If it is not love, then what the hell they call that crap?
The way Kushi tried to find comfort in arnav's arm was more than an evidence to tell that she was in love with him. The way he comforted her or the way he panicked when she fainted or the way he took care of her told Lavanya better story than what Kushi told. Arnav is always concern towards others and she is carrying his child, therefore it is normal for him to act like that. He could say it is just concern and not love.
But there was something different in the way he took care of Kushi from the way he took care of others. Though Lavanya couldn't understand what it was, his next action explained it. The way he looked at Kushi when she was stroking her belly. His eyes were glowing with joy while a very genuine happy smile spread on his face. He was looking at kushi's face and not at her belly; not at their child.
He was happy and content because she was content not because he was going to became father. He smiled because she smiled. He was happy because she was happy. And there could be only one reason for it. He loved her for her and not because she was carrying his child. He loved her so much that her smile mattered to him most than their child. He was so in love with her.
Lavanya sunk on bed hugging herself, suddenly feeling very lonely. She hugged herself more desperately trying to control her tears which started to flow out her eyes. Her past flashed in front of her eyes. How she wished her father was with her now? How she wished she had never recovered two years back.
Six years back she lost everything; even her conscious. Everything around her was numb that time. Two years back, when she started to recover she didn't feel numb because Arnav was with her. Now again everything started to feel numb. But in no way she could blame Arnav for it. If she is alive today, then Arnav is only reason for it.
How can she ignore what he did to her in last six years? How can she ignore it after knowing that he worked double time and starved most of the night's just to pay her hospital bill? He was in love with her then. She was sure that even now he loved her. She smiled through her tears remembering the smile which he gave before leaving. He can never forget her. He will love her till the end. He will take care of her like he did for past six years. But now the problem is he loves Kushi more than her.
And how can she blame him for falling in love with someone else? If Lavanya says she didn't see this coming, then it will be a pure lie. She knew something was wrong for last eight months. She jolted up from the bed as everything started to make sense. Arnav's every strange action made sense now.
When he came to Bangalore nearly eight months before to see her, he kept on asking one question that whether she will hate him if he did something wrong. When she replied he will never do anything wrong, he got guilty. Still she couldn't understand why he reacted like that. After a month he went to Mumbai, he made frequent calls to her and always stated that he loves her every much and will take care of her till end.
That time she was surprised that why was he assuring her again and again when she knew very well knew that he loves her and will take care of her. Now only she understood that he was not re-assuring her but was re-assuring himself. He must have met Kushi that time. Kushi must have made him to feel different which he didn't feel in her. Kushi must have made him to doubt his love for Lavanya.
He must have started to fall for Kushi but he tried to ignore it thinking he was in love with Lavanya. Being a stubborn and sticking to old love, he had convinced himself that he still loved only lavanya by constantly repeating that he loves her. But love is not any other feeling that can be ignored so easily. Eventually he fell for Kushi and must have acknowledged it unconsciously by making her as his.
He had tried hard to save their love but Lavanya cannot blame him if it didn't work. She was happy that at least he tried. Lavanya remembered the days when he returned to delhi. He completely ignored her phone calls and didn't talk to her nearly 15 days. She flew from Bangalore to delhi when Anjali di confirmed her suspicion that Arnav was behaving strange. She noticed that he was in pain and guilt.
Now she was able to comprehend the reason. He was in pain because he was away from Kushi. Lavanya was sure he must have hurt Kushi because of his guilty feeling towards Lavanya. That's why he was in pain. And he was guilty for what he did to Lavanya. Slowly again he started to behave like child always saying that he loves her and asking whether she loves him or not.
But for last one month, he stopped it. He called her only to ask whether she was fine and didn't talk anything more than that. It indicated Lavanya that he had accepted Kushi as his wife whole heartedly. She cannot blame Kushi for all these. How can she blame some else if their love was not strong? Only reason their love became weak was due to her and not Arnav.
Arnav. Her temper raised thinking about him. What a mess he had created? How kushi must have feeling about these things. 'Poor girl' Lavanya thought. If he had once said this to her, she would have happily walked out of his life. But instead he chose to remain silent thinking it will harm her. Of course he knew that she will walk out but he didn't want to hurt her.
He thought she was weak. But she was not after what happened to her six years back. Bad experiences made people strong and that was what happened to her. Yesterday her reaction was like that only because of the word Kushi used. It remained her of her father's last moment. That is what arjun's father told her father; proporably last thing her father must have heard before dying.
You wanted my son to marry your daughter because he slept with her. But now look at her. She has became wh***e. Now tell me how will my son marry her?
Lavanya closed her eyes pushing those words out of her memory. She had already spent enough years crying for that day. She has so many things in her hands right now. And she cannot become weak now. Her first concern was Arnav and kushi's happiness. Never too late, she will walk out of their life right now. In last two years she always thought that Arnav deserves something more than her after what she had done and what happened with her. Now she knew that 'more' thing was Kushi.
He deserves her Kushi in every way. She smiled thinking how they both were happy seeing each other happy. She is not doing this because Arnav did so much to her. She is not scarifying in return for his sacrifices. In no way she can equal his sacrifices. But she is doing this because she loves Arnav and his happiness is important to her, after all in last two years all she prayed was only for his happiness.
If Kushi was his happiness, then she will go to any extent in the world to make sure he gets Kushi.
so finally lavanya makes an official entry in my ff...how is she...i really enjoyed writing her monologue abt arhi...how was it...next three chapters are going to be exclusively arhi special😉
remember less likes than last time (341) then get ready for cliff hanger in next chapter😆...
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