Chapter 46

Chapter 46: Love Pain Reality

I can't believe the amount of requests I am getting for an update... Overwhelmed really... And yes thanks a lot for the wishes... But it wasn't anything major and I'm fine...😊

And 558 Likes for the previous chapter...?😲 I'm in dead faint... *Swoons*

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He expected to feel tired... But he felt well rested...

He expected to feel restless... But he felt calm...

He expected a searing pain in his heart... But he felt soothed...

He expected to feel emptiness... But he felt content...

Have I gone numb?

Or am I dead?

How can I be alive and not in pain?

How can I be without HER and not be empty?

I must be dead...

That's good...

Better than living without HER...

That would be worse than death...

Not that I wouldn't deserve it...

But still...

At least SHE will be happy...

And what else is more important than that?

Than HER...?

Khushi...

"Mmm... Arnav..." His thoughts were interrupted by a soft and subtle movement against him. And also the sweetest voice that his ears would never be tired of hearing. He had his eyes closed. But on hearing that voice... THAT voice... he opened them. The first thing he registered was that he was still in his room. So that would mean he was not dead. The room was dimly lit by the early morning light.

What is this new feeling? He wondered. But then he felt ticklish in the crook of his neck as something soft and warm brushed his skin. He moved his head to find the source of the warmth.

His lips parted. His breath caught. And he stared... without blinking... without breathing...

SHE was there... here? With him? Sleeping? In his arms? How?

Hadn't she left him? To live in hell... To be punished for his deeds...

Then what was this that he was seeing right now?

Is it a dream? Or a mirage?

Barely a few seconds passed as he kept staring at her... when she moved back a little, opened her doe shaped hazel eyes to look at him with... concern?

"Breathe Arnav..." There it was... that soothing melodious voice. Her touch... soft, smooth, warm, silk... against his face. "ARNAV... Breathe..." She repeated more urgently.

She was asking him for something... He HAD to do it isn't it? He pulled in a ragged breath, still not blinking.

"Khu... Khu... Khushi?" He managed somehow.

And then the room brightened as a wide smile spread across her lips. "Arnav..." She whispered sacredly looking deep into his eyes.

His hand slowly moved to his face where her hand rested lightly on his cheek. "You are here?" He asked uncertainly.

She smiled and nodded.

He still wasn't convinced. Maybe it was just a deceptive dream. A cruel joke, that sleep was playing with him and then he would wake up to nothing. Whatever it was, he might as well savour it as long as it lasted. Their eyes locked. Time was lost. She kept smiling and caressing his face, running her fingers through his hair. It felt so good. Her touch, her smile, the way she looked at him... It was like the first showers of rain on a land that had been dry and barren since ages.

After a long time... yes quite a long time actually because the Sun was considerably up, lighting up their room, she closed her eyes. Nooo... Not yet... He thought desperately wanting the moment to last forever. He waited for her to disappear leaving him hollow from within. But instead she came closer melting in his chest filling him up... making him feel complete.

"I don't want to get up today Arnav. I just want to be with you like this." She spoke into his chest like a child. Well he didn't want to get up either. She looked back at him after a moment. "Can we take the day off from work?."

Her words were so soothing, it was hard to believe that all this was for real. "Khushi? Are you really here or am I dreaming?"

Silver bells tinkled in his ears as she giggled on hearing him. "Here, this should convince you." She said and then pulled both his cheeks giggling all along.

He was shocked, surprised, stunned and much more. She was here, really here... Not a dream... not a mirage... His Khushi... Right here in their room... in their bed... in his arms...

But how? He had told her that she was free, hadn't he? Hadn't she thanked him for that? She had told him that she was going to think about just her happiness now... then how come...?

He pulled back and got up from the bed looking at her with wonder and confusion. She stopped smiling and pouted, making him worried for a moment. She too got up frowning.

"Arnav... I didn't want to get up yet."

"Khushi... How... How come you are here?" He asked confused.

"Where else did you expect me to be? Didn't I tell you that Amma wanted to do the Pooja so I was going to stay for just one night? We did the Pooja yesterday at the Mandir and I came back home last night." She replied. "You were already asleep." She said resting her head on his shoulder.

"But Khushi..." He paused for a moment, unsure of how to put in words what he wanted to ask. "That... that mail that I sent... What you said yesterday at AR... You were... I thought... I thought you were gone... I thought you didn't want to see my face again."

She lifted her head and looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry Arnav. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I didn't mean to hurt you. When I read that mail you sent, for a moment I was so shocked I didn't know how to react. But Arnav I could never go away from you. I could never think of not seeing your face. I Love You too Arnav... And I always want to be with you..."

He stared at her silently. Last 48 hours had been very hard on him and then he had skipped his lunch and dinner too yesterday. His Sugar levels were surely affected by all the stress and lack of food. And to top it all what she had just confessed... he could hardly believe what he heard. His head spun, sight blurred and he swayed.

"ARNAV!!!!" She held him before he could lose his balance. She grabbed him around the waist firmly and helped him sit on the bed, resting against the head board. She gave him water to drink but he was still looking pale. "Oh my God Arnav, did you eat anything yesterday. I think your sugar levels are low."

He barely managed to nod. She panicked and got up from next to him and ran out of the door, yelling for HP to get some sugar. She came back followed by HP and the rest of the family who were worried.

Khushi took the sugar from HP and asked him to get something to eat for Arnav. She made Arnav have some sugar and rested his head against her shoulder.

"Khushi Bitiya what happened?" Nani asked with concern.

"Naniji, his sugar levels have dropped. I think he didn't have his dinner last night." Khushi replied still worried.

"Bhai was stressed all day yesterday. I doubt if he had his lunch either." Akash said and Khushi looked at him panicked.

"Don't worry bitiya, you have given him sugar right? He should be fine in sometime. Just get him to eat something." Nani said. "And yes Akash is right, he did look stressed when he came back home last night. Just stay with him today."

Khushi nodded running her hand through his hair. Arnav lifted his head then, feeling a little better.

"I... I am fine... e-everyone relax..." He spoke slowly.

"Arnav Bitwa, we can see how fine you are..." Mamiji said. "When you know you are a diabetic, why did you skip your meals?" She demanded.

Arnav had no answer and Khushi was just looking at him worried. HP then entered the room with his breakfast and Khushi made arrangements for him to have it on bed. She told everyone that she will make sure that he eats and she was there with him. After everyone left, Khushi sat next to him and started to feed him herself.

He held her hand. "Khushi... you don't have to do this."

She looked at him and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Please Arnav. Let me do this." She pleaded. "All this is because of me. You skipped your meals, you were stressed all because of my silly behaviour. You thought that I was leaving you. Please don't stop me from doing this."

Arnav didn't protest after that. He just ate quietly looking at her all the time. He had never expected such a moment to ever come in his life. All this looked like a beautiful dream, picture perfect.

After he was done with the breakfast, Khushi sent back the empty plate with HP and came back to sit next to him. She put her arms around him and again made him rest his head on her shoulder. When he tried to move, she just held him firmly. "Shhh... Arnav just relax."

Arnav stayed quiet after that. It was hard to describe his feelings at that moment. He was in the arms of the one he loved. He couldn't possibly want anything more from his life.

"You are here." He stated after a while. It wasn't a question, just a statement, a realisation that she was there with him at that moment.

"Yes." She replied. "But right now, please just rest. We have all the time in the world to discuss about that later."

He felt relieved hearing that from her.

They couldn't go to work that day because of Arnav was still feeling weak. Khushi stayed with him all day, taking care of him. She had strictly instructed her assistants that they don't disturb her and manage everything on their own, while Akash took care of Arnav's work.

They had lunch together in their room. Khushi made sure that he took his medicines and when he lied down to rest in the afternoon, she sat next to him, holding his hand. By evening Arnav was feeling much better all thanks to the love and care of his wife that he had experienced for the first time. He felt like someone who had been sent to hell for a long time and then was abruptly pulled out being informed that it was a mistake and then sent to heaven.

He felt fine and even came down for dinner with everyone. Khushi sat next to him, taking care that he ate properly and then took his medicines too. Akash and Payal looked at the couple and smiled knowingly at each other. They had a feeling that they wouldn't have to try to get Arnav and Khushi close anymore. They were together now, finally behaving like a husband and wife should.

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Khushi came back to their room after taking care of the kitchen work. Arnav wasn't in the room. She looked around and found him sitting on a cane sofa by the poolside. She walked up to him and sat next to him.

"Are you feeling better?" She asked placing her hand on his.

"I'm absolutely fine now Khushi." He replied looking at her.

She could see that his eyes held a lot of questions. She knew he was confused and wanted answers. She knew everything that he felt for her. He had never held back his feelings... at least about how he felt for her. And she knew it was time that he too knows what she feels for him and how she took this decision to come back.

"Arnav, I know you must be thinking about why I am here." She spoke.

"Khushi... All I want is for you to be happy." He said suddenly. "I don't want you to make any hasty decisions thinking that you owe me anything. If you feel indebted because of what I did for your father or for your studio then please don't. I did just what anyone in my place would have done."

Khushi looked at him thinking upon his words and then spoke. "I know... it must seem that way isn't it? That I came back because of what you did for me... But don't forget Arnav that I had more reasons to not come back too." She said seriously. "You had me enclosed in your over possessive love for so long Arnav that I felt exposed, vulnerable after reading your mail. I was trapped in the Past for so long I didn't know what to do with this freedom that you had given to me. But slowly your words started to seep into my brain and everything started to make sense. The horrible past, the things that I had to do forcibly, the burden that I felt all the time, all of it was taken off me in an instant leaving me with a dizzy light feeling. But then I wondered what I would do with this new found freedom. Your words again flashed in front of my eyes..."

She paused for a moment looking at him and then continued, "You said that you didn't want me to be tied down to you. But we are already tied to each other for life Arnav. You may not give much importance to it but for me our marriage is a very sacred bond. Every vow that we took in front of the sacred fire holds importance in my life. You said you will never interfere in my life again. But you are my husband Arnav, not some interference. But what scared me the most was that you said that you'll make sure that I never see your face again. For a moment I couldn't believe what I had read. Every word that you had spoken to me about not being able to let go of me, not being able to live without me replayed in my mind. I couldn't comprehend how you could have written something like that."

Her grip on his hand had tightened and Arnav was just listening to her amazed. "Then I thought about not seeing you ever again in my life... and that one thought shook me to the core. I couldn't bear it... couldn't imagine living through that kind of a misery. If just the thought was so painful then how painful would it be to actually live that life... I didn't even want to think about it. But then I remembered your other words. You had said that I was free to live my life the way I wanted and free to make my own decisions. I know you want me to be happy Arnav but I realised that I can never be happy without you."

She let go of his and cupped his face with both her hands, speaking urgently. "I realised that just like you, I too can't let go of you. I realised that just like you, I too can't live without you. I love you too Arnav. I don't know since when or from how long, but I just do love you just like you love me. I don't know why but after everything that we have gone though, I still do love you." She paused taking a deep breath and then continued. "So I made this decision to come back. Not for anyone else but just for myself. For once I wanted to be selfish and think about just my happiness. I want to be with you Arnav, my husband, experience your love, give you all the love that I am capable of. Stay with you in our home together. I want to experience everything that a married girl experiences after marriage, something that I have been missing for the past 8 months of our married life. Will you give me that happiness Arnav?"

She waited for him to reply but he was too lost in her words. She loves me too... She too cannot live without me... She came back to me... To be with me forever...

He couldn't believe he had someone like Khushi in his life, someone so precious. "Are you sure?" He asked after a long time.

"Do you love me Arnav?" She asked back.

"You know I do. I love you more than my life." He replied.

She smiled, "Then I don't need to be sure of anything else." And she wrapped her arms around him, enveloping him in a warm hug. He smiled, finally realising that this was indeed real and hugged her back

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