Chapter 33
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[MEMBERSONLY]
A small smile appeared on his face and he reached up to take hold of her hand in his. He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her palm. "This is exactly why I say no one knows me better than you..."
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love_iqbal_khan 2014-11-09 22:13:45
Previous Part:
Part 26: Pages of the Past
"I want to know everything about the situation with Shanaya."
Arnav's spine became rigid at once and Khushi saw him clench and unclench his jaw twice before he spoke. "Can we please not talk about her?"
"Trust me Arnav...I don't fancy talking about that woman...I just...I need to know...from you." Khushi sighed. "The others told me about her lies but no one ever told me what you did after you found out...I didn't want to ask them because this is between you and me...I've been trying to put together theories in my mind and nothing has made sense...no theory is satisfactory..."
"Don't think about it too much...it's not important." Arnav looked up and out of the small window in front of him.
Khushi folded her legs on the couch stubbornly. "How can you say that? How can you say it's not important? It was something that put enough distance in between us to provide enough space for others to step in an intervene, Arnav!"
She tried, and failed, to not sound like an accusing petulant child.
"I don't relish the idea of speaking about her." Arnav deadpanned, in the depth of his heart, acknowledging the truth in Khushi's words. They had to talk about this sooner or later.
Khushi crossed her arms and looked at him in the eye. "And I don't relish the idea of going my entire life not knowing what the hell happened. What the hell was so big that it took away my best friend from me?"
Arnav held her gaze for a few long seconds. The tinge of pain in the mix of sadness, confusion, and curiosity in her eyes was what undid him. He knew that out of all his stupid actions, his ignorance towards her in the few weeks before she left was what had hurt her the most. She deserved an explanation. He owed her an explanation.
"Look...I've spent the last three years thinking you didn't bother to keep in touch...but now I know the truth...and the truth is weighing down on me...I feel guilty...for even thinking that you would do that...I want to know what happened with Shanaya so that I know the complete truth about that too...Even then I knew you wouldn't ignore me if it wasn't something that wasn't horrible...Prove the skeptic in me wrong Arnav...prove the stubborn girl in me who wants to make up every single excuse to blame you for everything wrong!"
"Where do I even begin Khushi?"
"Tell me what happened after you dropped me off that day...everything was fine that day...We had plans after my exam..." Khushi took a deep breath and exhaled. "And I was thrilled...because I was...I wanted to...I was going to--"
"--tell me how you felt about me." Arnav finished for her.
Khushi's lips parted in surprise and she looked at him for a few long seconds. She continued to hold his gaze, the question swimming in her eyes and he decided that honesty was the best policy.
"I read your diary, remember?" He sighed and leaned back on the couch. "I was going to tell you that day too...I was going to surprise you..."
"Then what happened?" Khushi's voice choked with a feeling akin to remorse.
"I got a call from Sheetal...Shanaya's cousin. She was freaking out on the phone because Shanaya had attempted to commit suicide..." Even as he spoke anger layered his voice, while his eyes started ahead unseeingly.
Even though Khushi knew that in the end of the story, Shanaya would turn out to be a liar, she couldn't help the shock and panic that she felt rise within her. She couldn't even begin to imagine what Arnav must've felt the moment he got the call. No matter what he had expressed back then...no matter how he behaved...at heart, he was always a caring man who would rush to help a friend in need.
"Apparently, Shanaya had been asking about me and Sheetal thought I might be able to calm her down...and I ran. I wasn't in love with Shanaya but that didn't mean that I was going to let her kill herself. When I got there, she was a mess! She kept mumbling some nonsense about how she would kill herself because she loved me and I didn't love her back...she is an amazing actress, I have to give her that..." Arnav scoffed and pressed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. He felt Khushi's hand take hold of his shoulder, squeezing encouragingly.
"So she put you on a guilt trip...and you spent all of your time with her because you were worried that she might hurt herself...because you felt guilty since she made you feel like you were the reason for her state..." Khushi voiced her thoughts out loud.
A small smile appeared on his face and he reached up to take hold of her hand in his. He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her palm. "This is exactly why I say no one knows me better than you..."
Khushi shook her head sadly, guilt visible in her features. "I didn't exhibit that skill when I should have...I couldn't figure out why you were ignoring me...why didn't you tell me about all this?!"
"I didn't want you to stress out over it...Shanaya was insecure about your relationship with me and your presence wouldn't have helped...all of you would have worried sick..." Arnav explained gently.
"It would have been better than finding out about it all from her along with the announcement of her pregnancy." Khushi pressed her lips together when she saw him grimace.
"She was never pregnant." Arnav turned to look at Khushi. "As far as I remember, you hadn't believed her..."
"No...but I believed your silence in response to my question...I asked you if what she had proclaimed was possible and you'd looked away guiltily...why didn't you deny it then?" Khushi accused knowing that she probably shouldn't but she couldn't help herself.
"Because I thought that it was possible...she had me convinced that we had slept together...so when she announced the pregnancy, I couldn't be sure..." Arnav watched her painfully as she slid her hand out of his to clutch her head.
"Did you sleep with her?" Khushi questioned, the girl who was hopelessly in love with this man watched with mounting nervousness.
"No." Arnav whispered. "She'd drugged me..."
Khushi groaned and rubbed her face in frustration. "This isn't making sense...go back to the point where you'd gone to her after she's tried to commit suicide."
Arnav nodded and focused his mind again to give a concise summary of the events. "Like I said...when I got there, she was a mess...to keep her from hurting herself...I spent as much time with her as possible...and for those few days, she was being nice. With her acting skills, I didn't doubt a thing! In all of that stress, I made a foolish decision to have a couple drinks with them. Of course as my luck would have it, my drinks were spiked with small amounts of roofies...enough to knock me out for a few hours. When I woke u...everything hurt...I was tired and fatigued...I remember having a bad headache and she had set up that morning to look as if we'd slept together..."
"And you didn't remember anything because of the drugs..." the gears in Khushi's mind turned as her mind went through the knowledge of Rophinol, commonly known as the date rape drug. "How did she get her hands on Rophinol?" Khushi frowned and then answered her own question with a groan. "Sheetal!"
"Exactly...Sheetal was a resident doctor at the time and I assume it wouldn't have been that difficult for her..." Arnav shrugged. "In fact, you came to me that day after I got home...Remember that day when you came to confront me about my disappearances in my room? You'd called me out on my lies..."
Khushi nodded thoughtfully. The memory was crystal clear in her mind. "You didn't look at me...at all."
"Because I felt as if I'd betrayed you...the thought that I'd slept with someone when I felt so strongly about you...it killed me..." He took a shaky breath and exhaled before continuing. "And I apologized to you that day for it albeit you didn't know why I was saying sorry...
"I couldn't look you in the eye after that...so I started avoiding being home...too ashamed to face you. Then the days started blurring together...days and nights became insignificant...every day was a painful stretch away from you..." He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. "A few times, I walked into your room to see you for a few moments when you were sleeping..."
"Such a creep..." Khushi muttered with a hint of humor in her tone, trying to relive some of the stress of this conversation. He chuckled lightly and shrugged impishly. When he drifted into thoughts, Khushi spoke up again.
"What after that?"
Arnav shrugged noncommittally. "As the days passed, I found that I couldn't stand her...so I started keeping away from her too...I only went when it was necessary...that's why you'd found me at home that day when you came to confront me...Shanaya was waiting for me downstairs and I knew that if I told you she was there, you would have a round of questions. I knew that you'd get more angry than you already were...so I took the easier road...I lied."
Khushi nodded, a frown marring her features. "I remember that conversation...then you forgot your phone and when I came to give it to you, I saw you with her..."
"You were so angry..." Arnav reached out and took her hand again.
"More hurt than angry...not only because you'd lied but because it was the first time you'd gotten back together with an ex girlfriend...it sort of went against the theory I used to console myself...I felt my ray of hope disappear and that hurt more than I thought it would...and when she announced the pregnancy..." Khushi closed her eyes and shook her head.
"If I had denied it when you asked...would you have believed me?" Arnav watched her as he asked the question that had always been in his mind.
"If you had denied the possibility, I would have believed you over her with my eyes closed." Khushi answered unwaveringly.
"Even though I'd lied to you for days before that?" He questioned, surprised with her response.
Khushi looked at him squarely, unyielding, and spoke in a strong tone. "Even then. Anyway, that's done and over now...what happened after that?"
"I went to her house with her and Sheetal showed me the reports that affirmed the pregnancy. It was all fabricated of course! Sheetal was able to make them within minutes but I didn't know that then and as far as I knew, I was about to have a child with a woman that I couldn't stand. So I spoke to dad...and he said that I couldn't shy away from my responsibilities towards the unborn child.
"I was extra careful with Shanaya the couple of days that followed because I didn't want her to hurt herself or the baby...I had to break it to her gently that I'd take responsibility of the child but I couldn't give her the commitment she was asking for..." Arnav stood up and paced back and forth restlessly. "I wasn't home much those two days. I was absent-minded a lot...kept forgetting my car keys everywhere...kept forgetting my phone everywhere. One day I went home and just passed out in my room from all the exhaustion."
He stood with his back to her and stared out of the window, his hands shoved in his trouser pockets and clenched into fists. He was quiet for so long, Khushi wasn't sure whether he'd say anything more at all. A long minute later, when he spoke, an odd torment was audible in his voice.
"When I woke up, my life had turned upside down...more so than it already was. You were gone." He whispered the last bit of the sentence, making Khushi's heart flutter painfully. "I became even more lost after that. I isolated myself from everyone. Dad gave me a small project to take care of to start off my career and I focused on that to distract myself. After that, life took on a different routine...working long hours, visiting Shanaya, spending time in your room after coming home and then eventually falling asleep. Then the routine suddenly got lost when I accidentally found your diary under your bedside table..."
He turned around to face her and the pain in his eyes overwhelmed her.
"I read the diary over and over again the next few days. I didn't know how to react to what I had found out through that small book. I didn't know if I should be happy that you felt the same way about me or be sad that I'd messed it all up. Should I be angry because you never told me or be angry at myself because I never told you?" He turned away from her again.
"And then for some reason, one day I decided to go visit Shanaya...perhaps because I could relate to her. She was hurting because she apparently loved me and couldn't be with me...I was in the same boat because you were so far away from me..." His jaw clenched and face hardened, the pain replaced by anger. "When I got there, though, I overheard their conversation...They were celebrating the fact that my life was a mess. In their glee, they spoke about everything...about the spiking of my drink...about the made up story of us sleeping together...about the fake pregnancy report...how they were overjoyed at the fact that you had left me..."
"B*tc**s!" Khushi cursed viciously, unable to help herself. "Tell me you showed them their place!"
Arnav grimaced slightly. In the heat of the anger and in the need to take revenge, Arnav hadn't thought of the consequences of his actions. He wanted to punish them and punish them, he did...he just wasn't proud of it.
"Oh Arnav...I wouldn't judge you if you killed them after all of the shit they've brewed up!" Khushi threw her hands up.
"It's worse..." Arnav's shoulders dropped and head hung slightly.
"Tell me." She insisted.
"Firstly, I took Shanaya to see a gynecologist...of course, Shanaya made every possible excuse to not go because then her truth would be out in the open...I suggested that we tell her parents about the pregnancy and she freaked out even more. A few more pushes and she blurted the truth herself...what she didn't know was that I had cameras set up to record all of that..." Arnav smirked with an almost evil undercurrent. "Sheetal helped me set them up."
Khushi's jaw dropped slightly in an inaudible gasp. "But...why would she help you?"
"Because I blackmailed her...I told her that I'd overheard their conversation and that I knew she had fabricated the reports...I threatened to take her to court and she agreed to do anything to save her ass. What's worse than having your practice license be terminated for an aspiring doctor? Hell, she even fabricated reports of Shanaya being mentally unstable..." He stared off into space again as he continued the narration.
"I let them be for a few months...I still had the recordings and the fake reports of Shanaya's mental illness...and then the unstable financial situation at her father's company just added to the things in my favor...it was the first hostile take-over that I'd done...it was the thing that fuelled Shanaya's arrogance...the money and the company that would one day be hers...I'd swiped all of that from right under her nose...I sold her dream to someone else..." He took a deep breath and looked warily at Khushi. "Turns out after losing the company...I no longer needed Sheetal's fake reports because Shanaya did become unstable...delusional, to be precise...she walked into the company several times, acting as if she still owned it...the new owners got a restraining order against her and she went berserk. She had a fit and then her psychologist deemed her dangerous to self and others..."
"When it got worse, they admitted her into an asylum...and that's when I exposed Sheetal...used her fake reports against her..." When he sighed, he sounded as if he was exhausted. "In the end of it all, Shanaya is in a mental asylum...her father passed away a couple years ago...and Sheetal is no longer able practice as a doctor in Canada...she disappeared after that...but trust me when I say that I only wanted to teach Shanaya a lesson...I've never wished for her to end up in an asylum or anything...nor did I want her father to suffer so much that the man passed..."
"Don't beat yourself for it..." Khushi shook her head; feeling drained just listening to the overview of what had happened. "If you hadn't, someone else would have bought the company and she would have ended up the same way...I guess she got what she deserved...yes it's unfortunate that her father passed away but like I said...even if someone else had bought the company, the outcome may have been the same...I can't believe people go to such extreme lengths over a break-up...her behavior was nothing short of unstable to begin with..."
A small frown marred her features and silence prevailed as both got pulled into their own. Arnav wondered what she thought of him now. Not that she was the kind of girl who would go all philosophical and say, forgiveness is divine and that he shouldn't have sought revenge. Khushi, the tom-boy in disguise, would have said go out and kick some @$$, Arnav'. His concern was whether or not she would believe him. If she did, would she understand?
Khushi, on the other hand, couldn't help but feel waves of resentment hitting her. It was so unfair that other people's agendas had ruined a perfectly great friendship. But could she really blame them when she had her own hidden agenda? Secretly, she loved him and she had conveniently kept confessing her feelings off her agenda. She was sorry that she had never told him.
"I'm sorry you had to go through all that with Shanaya...I'm sorry that I wasn't by your side in those days...I'm sorry I let me mind overpower my heart when she announced her fake pregnancy...if I'd listened to my heart, I would have known that she was lying...I'm sorry I never told you how I felt about you..." Khushi sighed and looked out the window, vaguely aware that the plane was descending. "I guess I was too afraid of losing you...turns out, I lost you anyway..."
She chuckled mirthlessly, the sound somehow more sad than a sob. Arnav threw his cautious behavior to the wind and cupped her face, making her look at him.
"You haven't lost me, Khush..." He bore his eyes into hers. "I still love you as much as I did before, if not more...I'm the one who has lost you...and because of my own stupidity nonetheless...I can't blame anyone else for it...not Payal, not Di...not even Shanaya...their decisions just added to the mess my foolishness had created..."
"You can't do that...everyone had a part to play in this...no one person can be blamed for it..." Khushi closed the distance and wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his chest. His hands wound her like a protective blanket, making an undeniable heat burst in her heart at the feelings his simple gesture induced within her.
"So where does ASR fit into all this?" She couldn't help but ask.
"Dealing with them turned Arnav into ASR. ASR is cold-hearted, ruthless, and stubborn. If he's cold-hearted, no one's made up bullshit can thaw him...his ruthlessness makes people think twice before they even think about messing with him...and he's stubborn because he knows what it is like to lose something that's dear to you and so he gets what he wants. By hook or by crook." Arnav answered, his back stiff with tension.
If she were being honest with her, his response scared her a bit. She had read and heard all about the mighty ASR who awed people with his arrogant, confident persona. Did that mean that her Arnav was lost along the way?
"So who am I speaking to right now? ASR or Arnav?" She whispered.
Arnav pulled apart from her just enough to look into her eyes, hoping that his eyes would carry the honesty of his words to her heart. "I know I have behaved like ASR with you in the past...but now since everything is out in the open...there is no point in me using that front. With you, Khushi, I will be always Arnav."
He gathered her in his arms again and she smiled against his thumping heart.
They stood there in each other's embrace until the sign made a ting' noise, letting them know that they had to take a seat and fasten their seatbelts for the landing. From the moment they fastened their seatbelts, till they stepped out of the airport, the two were able to carry on a normal conversation about everything but their past, their relationship, or the friends they'd left behind in Rajasthan.
Khushi found Arvind waiting from them at the exit and abandoning her trolley, she rushed towards him. The look on his face, the apologetic expression was a tell-tale sign that he knew what had happened in Rajasthan. As she let him engulf her into a fatherly hug, Khushi smiled to herself thinking of her Bauji. It was astounding to her how much this man resembled him. Although poles apart in looks, their personalities were similar. It was one of the reasons why Khushi shared this level of comfort with him.
"I'm so sorry, Khushi..." Arvind whispered. "It makes me so sad...it breaks my heart to know that both of my kids have hurt you...I apologize on their behalf..."
In response, Khushi tightened her arms around him. "Why? None of it was your fault..."
"You talked to them?" Arnav questioned, pulling up behind Khushi.
Arvind shrugged and released Khushi from the hug. "I talked to Anjali...and Akash."
Arnav nodded thoughtfully, not really interested in finding out what Anjali had to say. It felt odd to feel so disconnected with his Di. He still found it hard to process that the woman he would move mountains for had played such a colossal part in the growing distance between him and Khushi.
"You're both okay?" Arvind questioned, breaking Arnav out of his saddening reverie.
Arnav and Khushi exchanged a glance, both recalling the conversation on the plane. Khushi turned away to look at Arvind first.
"We're fine...I think everything is out in the open now..." her conscious sniggered at her words. There was still one thing that was under the wraps...and that was the fact that she was still in love with Arnav.
"What now?" Arvind watched her closely.
"I want to go home...I want to see Amma." Khushi answered at one.
"I'll drive you..." Arnav offered.
Khushi shook her head. "I kind of want some alone time Arnav...I hope you understand."
Arnav nodded reluctantly. Arvind watched the exchange quietly, making note that not everything was in place like Khushi said.
Arvind pointed at a black BMW m3 coupe waiting off to the side. "Why don't you take the car that Akash had waiting for you two? Arnav can drive home with me." Arvind gave a warning look to Arnav to keep him from arguing. "Khushi...have you thought of what you're going to tell your mom and buaji about why you're home early? Akash told me that they don't know anything yet..."
Khushi sighed. "I'll figure something out..."
Arvind patted her head gently before turning around and walking away to give her and Arnav a moment. Arnav turned to face her, his eyes speculating her expression.
"So...um...I'll see you later...?" He made it sound like a question and Khushi realized that he was worried she might leave again.
She gave him a small reassuring smile, "I'll see you later."
By the time Khushi reached her buaji's house, it was nearly 1pm. As expected, Madhumati and Garima bombarded Khushi with questions about why she was here already and where the others were. Khushi offered a vague answer about an argument and her needing some space. The ladies knew Khushi well enough to leave her alone when she requested to go to her room.
Thankful for the solitude, Khushi pulled out her diary and scribbled furiously, letting out all her new knowledge, frustration, and confusion. At one point during her relentless writing, Garima popped in to leave a plate of jalebis and a tall glass of coke for her daughter. Khushi had given a small smile of gratefulness in return.
She knew now was the time to make a decision. If she were honest with herself, the decision was already made deep within her heart, struggling to get through the binds her mind was placing on it. More than anything that had happened yesterday night, Khushi focused more on the conversation she had with Arvind.
If she ignored Arnav's mention in the conversation, Arvind was truly speaking for the safety and happiness of both NK and her. When she had gotten engaged to NK, she did have an inkling of guilt sink in her heart. NK had been nothing but absolutely supportive and caring in the past three years she had known him but she hadn't been completely truthful with him.
She had never told him how she felt about Arnav...not even when they got engaged. He at least deserved to know, didn't he?
Just as she placed the now empty glass of coke on the table, her phone rang for a quick moment indicating an incoming text message. She picked up the phone reluctantly and checked it to find that the message was from Arnav.
I know you want some alone time but just tell me that you're okay...
Khushi couldn't help but smile as she typed her response to him.
I'm okay. Are you?
He didn't respond right away and just when Khushi was about to text him again, his message came through.
I just left your place...I explained to your mother in detail what happened. She was worried...
Khushi felt a tug on her heart at his words. Even as she re-read the text, she heard a car screeching away. He'd come here to speak to her mother and calm her down...moreover, he had kept her wishes in mind and hadn't tried to come into the room to see her.
A very teeny-tiny part of her wished that he'd barged in here...she had an urge to hug him at the moment to find that serene feeling that came with his embraces.
She typed back a quick thank you message and leaned back in her seat, once again stuck between what was right and what was wrong. Considering the fact that she loved Arnav and Arnav loved her back and the fact that she didn't want to hurt NK, her choice should've been pretty clear.
Why, then, it was so difficult? She did not know.
_____
The next 24 hours were stressful for Arnav to say the very least. All he wanted to do was go see Khushi and make sure she was okay. The silence from her end had been clawing at him to the point where he was frustrated, at the end of his patience. The bad mood resulted in the housekeepers getting yelled at more than often. Aman heard an earful more than a couple times because of a minute issue.
Arnav was engulfed by the sinking feeling that she was slipping out of his fingers like sand and there was nothing he could do about it. She had had enough people's decisions interfere in her life, including his...and he wasn't going to put any more pressure on her about the love triangle situation they were in now.
No matter what her decision, he would accept with a gentleman's honor and wish that she gets all the happiness that she deserves.
Even so, when he saw her name flash on the caller ID the following day, his heart jumped into his mouth. He hit the answer' button hurriedly and placed the phone against his ear. Her voice trailed through before he'd even had the chance to say hello.'
"Can you meet me in half an hour?"
"Where? Are you okay?" Arnav questioned at once, worrying over the tinge of sadness in her voice.
"I need to talk to you..." She sighed. "I'm at the tea tavern cafe."
"I'm on my way." Arnav hung up and hurried towards the exit.
He barely noticed his father who was walking into the house at that moment. "Arnav? Where are you going?"
"I'm going to see Khushi..." Arnav answered without even glancing back.
Twenty minutes later, he entered the cozy caf where scents of coffee and tea hit his senses like a brick wall. The receptionist smiled at him flirtatiously which he barely noticed.
"Welcome to tea tavern. Would you like a table?" She stood a little taller to grab his attention.
"No thank you. I'm looking for my friend..." Arnav's voice trailed off as his eyes settled on Khushi who sat in the furthest corner of the room, dressed in a white tank-top and black mid-thigh shorts, her hands clutching the mug of coffee as if her life depended on it. She looked like his Khush who had just stepped out of an exam. She looked stressed and upset as she stared out the glass window.
He began walking to her and after three steps in her directions, she turned to look at him. She gave him a small smile which he returned as he took his seat opposite hers. Reaching across, his hand covered hers.
"Khush...you look so stressed." Arnav frowned. "What happened?"
Khushi held his gaze as she answered him. The unmasked sadness in the depth of her eyes planted seeds of dread in his heart. And then she spoke the ominous words.
"I've made my decision."
Happy Belated Diwali my lovelies!!🤗 I was hoping to post this part earlier in the week around Diwali time but alas...some things in personal life and a small injury hindered my progress! But fikar not, I shall be more regular with my updates from now on until about January...life will become crazy busy for the month of Jan and early Feb but we'll cross that bridge when we get there!
I know I havent replied to all the comments this time around and I apologize for that! but I do stalk my threads after updates to read all your wonderful words and i want you all to know that whether I respond to the comments or not, I still appreciate them from the deepest corners of my heart!
Next Update will be around 9th of November!
Cheers,
Katie <3
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