Chapter 76

...Continued from the previous post

Arnav, who was sitting on the chaise longue with his head in his hands while his elbows rested on his knees, when his phone rang wondered, who would ring at this time, at 2 a.m. the thought flew to Khushi making him dive for the phone. When he called Khushi... her wobbly, Arnavji... made him ask was she crying? But her query, whether he was fine, had him stumped and told her, that he was, and asked her, what was wrong? Her answer in the form of questions, why did he leave her alone, how many times did she ask him to stay back with her, had him stumped once again not really understanding what she was crying about. Her next sentence cleared his doubt when she complained does he know how difficult it was to breathe when he pulled his hand from hers and went away at the airport? Making him hold his breath and chest constrict at the reminder of his folly. When he called out Khushi, his voice held all the regret in the world. He continued sobbing saying that she had thought she would go mad, without seeing him, without hearing his voice, dreaming of him at night and waking up to see that he was not there... when he apologized she asked him what was the use of being sorry after hurting her? He pleaded with her not to cry as he could fathom her feelings now. She countered amidst her sobs that how could she not cry when he was far away from her. He was always far away from her... She keeps looking for him, but she is unable to find him anywhere... He told her that he was always with her. Wherever she was he was with her, in her thoughts and in her heart. She could never severe him from her for he was embedded in her heart as well as the the liquid gold that runs through her, her life-giver. Getting the picture of what was going on in a soft tone he asked her, whether she had a nightmare. But Khushi was inconsolable. She sobbed out that she wanted to see him, her love overpowering her sense and sensibility. Her cry touched him and he told her that he will be there as soon as he could and begged her not to cry for he would start immediately. His voice wobbled laced with emotion making it difficult for him to swallow. He knew Devi Maiyya had heard his plea and had executed a route for him to reach his Khushi.

In the morning, Khushi sought out Girija Devi and told her that she would like to return to Delhi, to her husband, as soon as he comes for her. She wanted to know whether it would cause inconvenience for her. Girija Devi told her that it would not and she should forget about her inconvenience. What was more important was that she who needs to be happy. Girija Devi cupping Khushi's face told her that her parents named her Khushi, hoping that she would be happy all her life, not just spread khushi in the lives of other people all her life. It would be wise to remember that and make sure that she was happy before making the world happy. For if she is to be miserable, but keep smiling and hiding her misery, she would not be doing anybody a favour. If she hides her pain, no one will be privy to the fact that she is unhappy. People will take her and her feelings for granted. They will take advantage of her, and she will be powerless to stop them once she falls into that habit. Khushi understood what she was told and the wise lady continued to look into her eyes and say a few more home truths. Girija Devi said that, if she keeps hiding her pain, she will not be able to get it out as it needs a vent too. It would accumulate and harden inside her and the unhappiness would start to weigh her down some time when least expected. And one fine day she would find herself that she is so bogged down by the trials and tribulations of life that she would resort to going away leaving each and everything that matters to her. She would feel like renouncing her near and dear ones too along with all the worldly worries just like she had done now. She asked Khushi with a smile, did she really perceive what was being told.

Khushi who had listened quietly to all that she was told hugged her tightly and nodded with tears streaming down her cheeks. She acknowledged that Girija Deviji was absolutely right and in the end everything became more than she could bear. She promised her as well as herself that she will never again hide her feelings as it was wrong to do so. But she was right and wondered aloud how did she know? Girija Devi with a chuckle told her, that she is All Knowing peppered with a tinge of naughtiness, making Khushi imagine and chuckle through her tears. Girija Devi reassured her, patting her back that if she ever finds it impossible to live in the normal world, if she was ever in need of refuge at any point in her life, the gates of the school will be open to her, always.

Then, she went to Tiwariji and she apologized for causing inconvenience and leaving him in the lurch. She told him that shewould be leaving as soon as her husband comes. Tiwariji replied saying, that Rama's vanvas was only one phase and in Ramcharitmanas, Aranya Kand is only one kand. There are many more kands in the book and many more kands to come in our lives. Good, bad, sad, happy. They have to come one after the other, in a cycle in our lives. You can not remain stuck in Aranya Kand all your life. Tiwariji with a smile wished her to be happy all her life. As Khushi took his blessings, he told her at times of trials to call to mind that Lord Rama and Sita Maiyya should remain together, always. Their bond is not of this world, but of many births, making her nod in understanding. Handing her a box of jalebis he told her that it was for her, making Khushi khushi beyond words and her action of impromptu hug, took the irascible old man by surprise and bless her heart. One of the cleaning ladies who walked in at that moment swooned at the sight of khadoos, akdoo Tiwariji being hugged by a girl.

Khushi was all set to receive her Arnavji resplendent in a gorgeous pink saree with silver work. She waited in her room for Arnavji to come, while her packed bags stood near the door. He stood at the threshold dressed all in black, his eyes hopeful, eager with a soft call, Khushi... leaving his lips. That was all she needed. She bounded up to him and threw herself into his arms staggering him back. His arms gathered her close to his heart and his mind, heart and lips were only capable of chanting Khushi assimilating the fact that their exile was over. But Khushi had no qualms in airing her views. She asked him what had he done to himself. Had she not told him that he was not Devdas to waste himself away but was Arnav Singh Raizada. He had grown his hair and beard and become so thin! Seeing his state she was overcome with tears and wept all over him.

In this update we see Khushi realizing that life is too short to carry any kind of unnecessary baggage. The pent up feelings or unvocalized feelings, were really not worth the trouble. What was needed was to be true to oneself and the rest would fall in place. There comes a point in everyone's life when we realize who really matters, who never did and who always will. Khushi was in the very same point. With a gentle nudge from Girija Devi and Tiwariji she was able to get a clear picture of her thoughts. Once she realized, it was as necessary for her to be in the arms of her husband as air was to breathe, she called him and asked to take her home. It was the moment she realized that was where she wanted to be, with him, by him and in his arms.

That is why it is titled REALIZE.

"In life you will realize that there is a purpose for every person you meet. Some are there to test you, some will use you, some will teach you and some will bring out the best in you"

That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.

rulama2013-09-04 07:15:30