Chapter 75

Smita,😊

Here is the interpretation to Part 20

This update is about become fully aware of something as a fact, understand clearly, also about cause something to happen, in a word REALIZE.

As Khushi breezed in to the kitchen as though it were her refuge from thoughts that plagued her, she sought solace from the swish and swirl of the jalebi's her stress buster. The circlets she was making were like her thoughts that were sizzling in her brain questioning the rationality of her actions. With these thoughts engulfing her mind she began making jalebis for the evening pooja. She was trying to get grasp of her thoughts that were bombarding her with questions. Tiwariji taking one look at her pale and disturbed countenance understood that Girija Devi had talked to her and it was egging her towards a decision in earnest. He went on doing his work as usual humming and singing from Tulsidasji's Ramcharitmanas after checking the oil in the lamp he lights every dawn in his kitchen in front of Devi Maiyya and Lord Rama and Sita Maiyya.

Haa! gun khaani Janaki Sita, roop seel vrat niyam puneeta

Lakshman samjhaye bahu bhanti, poochat chale lata taru paanthi.

"He Sita, the daughter of Janaka, the embodiment of all gunas, the possessor of a beautiful form and good habits, the follower of rules and sacred fasting, the pure!" Lord Rama lamented on finding Sita missing from his cottage, asking trees and creepers for his beloved's whereabouts.

Lakshman tried to console Lord Rama, but in vain.

Hearing this verse, Khushi realized that it was the same with her Arnavji. She could visualize that he felt bereft without his other half, Khushi, just like Lord Rama was missing his wife, Sita Maiyya. The sprouting of the thought resulted in the slotted spoon falling from her hand into the piping hot oil making Tiwariji chide her gently to be careful in front of the oil. Taken aback, her eyes rested on the kind face of Tiwariji for a moment and becoming conscious of what she was doing recovered and she quickly fished the spoon out.

Kimi sahi jaat anakh tohi paahi, priya begi prakatasi kas naahi,

Ehi bidhi khojat bilapat Swami, manahu maha birahi ati kami.

"How can I bear this separation from you, my beloved? Why don't you appear before me, soon?"

Lord Rama looked for Sita Maiyya and lamented her loss in such a manner, as though he were bereaved and totally lost in his love for his wife.

Listening further to the song, Khushi felt instead of Rama it was Arnav calling out to his wife, as though he had lost his anchor and was unable to find the safe harbour. She now recognized the agony of her Arnavji at being separated from her. Tears that had pooled in her eyes found an escape and trailed down her cheeks. The kind hearted Tiwariji, a real softee inside sighed getting the idea of the depth of her pain and the desolate look pulled a string in his heart. In order to cover it up he gruffly told her that, his children like their jalebis dipped in sugar syrup and not the brine solution. Taking the slotted spoon from her hand he asked her to go to her room and rest. Khushi nodded and left the kitchen trying to wipe her tears.

Tiwariji called Girija Devi and growled at her asking what it was that she spoke to the girl. She was so upset that she was crying into the jalebi batter. All his chiding did was to make Girija Devi chuckle happily and ask him was she crying? Then it was extremely good and that meant her talk had gone through her head ending the separation and she is all set to return to her husband. Tiwariji with a mock stern face told her, that she was the only one on this earth who would be happy with a self goal! Hearing it her mirth increased. Tiwariji, though appreciative of Girija Devi's handiwork, murmured good-naturedly that after quite a few months she had got a good helper and she had to be sent away! Girija Devi told him that her husband needs her more than they do!

As Arnav drove from his office late in the evening, his head ached like the tromping of the elephants. Added to it was the fatigue that hit him in waves. As the signal lights turned red he stopped his vehicle and looked around casually. He became aware that he had stopped near the temple where Khushi prayed regularly, the one with white steps where she always skipped up and down. A fine craving to breathe the same air that was once in her breath made him take the turning towards the temple as the lights changed. Parking the car, he walked up the steps. It was cool and peaceful, the silence marred only by the ringing of the temple bells and the cooing of pigeons. As he walked into the temple and stood before Devi Maiyya, he looked in to the kind eyes and the benevolent smile of the Shri Mathe and felt his eyes fill. He turned away. As he was about to leave, the priest called out asking him to take the Prasad. Arnav walked up to him and received the Theerth and the Prasad.

As he turned to leave again he envisioned as Devi Maiyya was watching him. Changing his destination he walked up to her and told her softly that he was Arnav Singh Raizada, Khushi's husband. Does she remember Khushi? Khushi from Laxmi Nagar? She used to be Khushi Kumari Gupta and now she is his wife, Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada. But Devi Maiyya was silent. He told her that he was sure that She remembers her. How can She forget Khushi for she is the one who talked Her name a hundred times a day and visits Her regularly with jalebi. Devi Maiyya waited patiently for him to get to the point. Hesitating to seek Her help, but being cognizant of the fact that Khushi's deep faith in Her, he told her that, it is just that... Her daughter has gone away, far away, because she is unhappy with him, with all of us. Can She just... he meant err..., if She sees her... if She talks to her... When she prays to Her, can She just ask her to come back? When he looked up it was to see Devi Maiyya smiling. He told her that she has no one. Her parents are dead. His parents are dead. They have only each other. And when they are away from each other... Arnav overcome by teared up throat, looked away to compose himself. Gathering himself, he looked at Devi Maiyya in the eye and told that when they are away from each other it is difficult to breathe, just as Di had told him, a long time back. Then, he had not believed it, but now he does see what she meant feels it and much more... making him sigh. He asked Her, Can she just bring her back to him? He would take good care of her and he would never hurt her again. As soon as he finished his monologue with Khushi's best friend, the resonating sound of the ringing bells filled the air. The bells chimed for a long time and the air was filled with reverence. Gulping the lump in his throat, Arnav swallowed and turned to leave. He turned back once more and took his leave reminding her not to forget what he said and engineer ways to succeed.

Khushi was glad for the busy work schedule that evening. After a short break during which the cooked food was being served by the waiters to children and the cleaning staff cleaned the plates and cups, she and Tiwariji washed all the utensils they had used for cooking, and Khushi scrubbed an already spotless kitchen clean till the floor shone. And she then reluctantly retired for the night. Hugging her Devi Maiyya's idol, she had a hearty cry and sought her help to make the right decision. Whatever she decided she wanted it to be reflected as the right choice for both Arnavji as well as her, keeping the welfare of both in her mind. She wanted it to be a decision that both would never look back upon. She did not want to revisit her decision whether she decided to stay there or go back to him. In order to home in on the right choice, she knew she needed the Divine guidance, the one and the only one who had stood by her through thick and thin though not realized by her all the time, who had listened to her chirps as well as berates and had not lost the smiling countenance or withdrew her Benevolence. With these thoughts in mind, Khushi fell into a restless sleep that was set afloat with dreams, not all of them pleasant.

She saw her Arnavji fainting due to low sugar, his knees buckling, standing up only by the support of her arms and frail body and she had got herself in a stitherum...

Next he was punching the living daylights out of the goondas at the dhaba because they dared to hurt her that tugged at her heartstrings...

Khushi was running in to his arms at the hospital unconsciously seeking solace in his hug...

He was placing his hand on her head after paying Babuji's bills, his eyes kind and moist reducing her to tears...

He was muttering sorry after sorry in the dark night after hearing about her parent's accident that spoke volumes...

He was smiling at her small joke as Jiji cried over Jiju's specs lying on the floor, imagining him to have killed himself showing her that her thought of him to be as hard as nails was incorrect...

He was blowing in to her eye, trying to take away the mud that had fallen in to it, making her weak at knees...

Khushi ulajh gayi... He was removing the fairy lights from her body, saving her from the mild shocks, his eyes intent on her face showing that he did have a soft spot for her...

Thoda dard hoga.He looked so sad as though it hurt him to hurt her and his thoughts written all over his face...

Did you think an ameer admi was keeping your payal close to his heart all these days?

His eyes were shouting at her that he had kept her payal close to his heart while his mouth said something else pretending that he could not give a hoot to her and her thoughts...

He was bandaging her finger at the temple leaving her with mixed feelings in the end while he kept a stiff upper lip...

She was asking him, Kya chahte he aap? and his eyes were telling her you, only you... showing that he was carrying a torch for her...

He was asking her if she would not complete her performance at the sangeet showing deep down her smiling face really meant a lot to him... and holding out his hand to help her finish her dance for her to see that his heart was in the right place..

Hamare dhadkan ek ho jaate he... Arnavji whispered, holding her hand to his heart showing his change of heart towards her and the emotion love...

Main hamesha hamesha... Ranjha said, but couldn't complete his sentence before dying of the poisoned sweet a Freudian slip that showed her how the wind was really blowing...

It was Jiji's mehendi. She was looking for Arnavji, calling him frantically... but he was nowhere to be found... he was not answering her calls making her groan inwardly...

She had tried to hold him back from boarding the plane, but he had freed his hand from hers, ripping her heart in to pieces and she being cut to the quick as he expressed doubts about her sincerity...

Arnavji was being carried by the goons who had kidnapped him... He was unconscious and hurt. The blindfold had fallen from his face on to the ground... and she was standing there, feeling that her arms and legs were weighed down by lead she being beside herself with desolation and helplessness...

Khushi sat up, looking around frantically for Arnavji, panting, sweating profusely, whimpering Arnavji... Arnavji... and wondered where was he. Why had he left her all alone? As she looked around she felt that the room was unfamiliar to her. Her thoughts went to the pool and she could not find it. So was the chaise longue and she realized that it was not RM but Varanasi and her heart slumped to galloping fast from the trot that it used to have. These dreams that she had conjured up, she perceived were of all the things that were important to her. She had woken up to the feeling of loss of her Arnavji and that cleared her thought. What she needed to do was find out how he was as her well-being was conjoined with his. Grabbing the phone she called Arnavji.

Continued in the next post...

rulama2013-09-04 07:16:28