Chapter 77
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Finding Khushi
Part 19
Section 5
Arnav looked at the display of his phone, frown lines marring his forehead.
Khushi was not answering any of his calls. Whenever he went to see her, she was out. The time he went to her godown, she had gone to the bank in place of Munshiji. This had been going on for 3 days now, and he was fed up.
What was happening here?
Had something happened at the party?, he wondered frantic with worry. He had dissected every moment they had shared, their dance, her laughter, the glow in her eyes... He could swear that she had been happy. But sometime around midnight, her face had become pale, she had started avoiding his eyes...
He had asked Di & Payal, but they had been clueless too.
Now what?
Fear of losing her made him walk up and down the length of his room, his heart racing, his palms sweating... He looked at the phone again.
"Buaji, is Khushi there?"
"No, Bitwaa...", Buaji started.
"Buaji, she is not answering my calls. She..."
"Bitwaa, she has gone to the temple. Oo kaa he, Nandkisore, a sant has come there. He is giving a discourse on Ramayan, and Khussi has gone to listen to him. Acha he, Nandkisore! It will get some sense into her sanki bheja!", Buaji laughed.
Arnav closed his eyes in weariness.
"Buaji, will you please tell her that I will meet her tonight? I have a meeting now. I can't get out of it. It will be late when it gets over, but I will come to meet her..."
"Did you have something to eat, Bitwaa?", Buaji asked anxiously.
"I will grab something, Buaji. I will see you tonight."
"Theek he, Nandkisore.", Buaji said as she cut the call.
"Kaun tha, Jiji?", Garima asked.
"Arnav babua. He will come late tonight to see Titliyaa.", Buaji said.
Garima nodded, smiling.
"I asked him if he had something to eat, Garima. And babua said that he will 'grab' something to eat.", Buaji frowned. "Why should he 'grab' something to eat, Garima? Isn't there enough food in his office canteen? Do they have to fight for food, Nandkisore?" Buaji rolled her big eyes.
Khushi sat at the far end of the crowd in the hall, leaning against the wall, listening to the elderly sant recount Lord Rama's stay in the forest with Seeta and Laxmana, and the abduction of Seeta by Ravana.
She shut her eyes, rested her head against the wall, and let her mind dwell on the problem at hand. She needed to think, and there was no better place to do it. She needed to sort out her mind, find a solution to the khichdi her life had become... And she needed wise counsel. And there was no better place for all three.
Lavanyaji had been Arnavji's girlfriend. That was one fact Khushi was sure of. And he had packed her off once he realised that he liked Khushi. That was another fact that she could not refute.
Had Lisaji too been Arnavji's girlfriend? Or was Lisaji lying? She had no idea.
Had Arnavji thrown Lisaji away once his eyes had fallen on Lavanyaji? Khushi frowned. If Arnavji had done so, he couldn't really be blamed. Lisaji was very temperamental and unbearable at times while Lavanyaji was very sweet. But still...
Would his fascination for Khushi change into indifference one day, and would he leave her as he had left Lavanyaji? Would he regret having married her?
Khushi hid her face in the arms she had crossed on her bended knees.
The sant said, "Lord Rama returned to the cottage to find Seeta Maiyya missing. Anxious about her whereabouts and safety, he asked Laxmana, "Where is the Vaidehi who abandoned her palace and family and accompanied me to the forest to live the life of a wanderer? Without whom I cannot live even for a moment? Laxmana, where is your sister who is the daughter of the deities and my life-force? Where is she?"
Arnavji had called her many times, tried to see her many times. But... but she had run away from him every time. Not answering his calls. Spending the evenings in temples, going for a movie with Preetho, taking Chinnu and Meetu out to the park...
It had been three days since she had seen him. Her heart ached. She had thought that the week without Arnavji in Lucknow had been torture. But this was worse. Heart wrenchingly worse. Nights without sleep. Days without peace of mind. Her head had been filled with images. Of Lisaji and Arnavji. Of Lavanyaji and Arnavji. No, not Arnavji. ASR. The man with a sharp tongue that could make lacerations in your skin when he stripped you bare of your dignity...
But he had changed now. He had changed a lot. He never spoke cuttingly to her. If she so much as winced, he felt the pain... Could this love be all in her imagination? Was it so weak that a pretty face and short clothes could make him forget that he loved Khushi?
"I don't have the ambition to rule the heavens or the earth, Lakshmana, without the daughter of Janaka, my soul mate by my side."
The way in which he had cried in her arms, talked of his past and his parents, the way in which his stern face had slowly relaxed into a more happy one... Could all these be in her imagination?
"If Seeta, the princess from Videha, does not greet me with a smile on my arrival at the hermitage, Oh, Lakshmana, I really will breathe my last."
The way he had looked after her when she was sick, carried her to the bathroom, sponged her down...
"Then he went around the hermitage, saying 'Yes, this is that place where she used to pluck flowers.' And then, 'Yes, this is the place where she used play with deer, squirrels, and birds.' 'This is the very place where she offered her daily prayers.' Finally on realising that the cottage did not hold his Seeta, that his wife, his soul mate had indeed been taken away from him, Lord Rama fell into deep despair."
Khushi felt her eyes fill with tears. They fell down in fat drops, wetting her green sari. She kept her face firmly hidden in her arms. She had to admit, at least to herself, that she loved him. More than life. A life without him in it... She couldn't bear to think of it. Death was better.
"Vaidehi who is dearer to me than all my lives, if only she were alive somewhere, Laxmana!"
And maybe Arnavji loved her too. No, not maybe. Arnavji did love her. Now. Not in the beginning when they met. But he did love her now. Could he forget this love and move on to another woman later?
"Oh, Lakshmana, if death has already taken her out of this hermitage, then I too will give up my live here."
Could she marry him and live with him, fearing to draw breath fully lest he leave her for another woman? Look at each model or employee in his firm as a potential threat? Live in anxiety all her life? Wonder all her life if Lisaji had spoken the truth?
No, no, she needed to know the truth. How ever bitter and painful it was. Running away from unpleasantness had never helped her. It had never brought her parents back. And hiding her head under the sand would never help her live in peace with Arnavji. It was better to know.
She would have to ask him. There was no more doubt in her mind. She couldn't stay away from Arnavji and live a half-life far away from him. If there was a chance that they could have a life together, she had to take it.
Khushi wiped her tears away, and lifted her head. The discourse had come to an end, and the sant was preparing for the aarti. All stood up, and sang the prayers for aarti. Along with the other ladies, Khushi too touched the feet of the holy man, and left the temple.
Happyji was waiting in his auto outside the temple.
"Happyji, can you take me to Arnavji's office?", she asked him.
"Kyon nahin, Khushiji?", Happyji beamed. "How was the discourse?"
"Very enlightening, Happyji. I feel as though a burden has fallen off my shoulders.", Khushi smiled.
Once they reached the office, Happy Singh said, "It is getting late, Khushiji. I will wait here for you. If Arnavji is going to drop you home, just give me a call. I will leave. Otherwise, I will take you home."
"Ji.", Khushi smiled her thanks.
Khushi walked into the office. It was late, but the office was a hive of activity. The staff were all busy, and Khushi looked around for a moment.
"Khushiji! Have you come to meet the boss?", Aman asked her, smiling.
"Ji..", Khushi blushed.
"He is a meeting with a team from the UK, but I can call him...", Aman offered.
"No..no... Amanji, I will wait for him here.", Khushi pointed to the tastefully decorated waiting room.
Aman smiled. "I will let him know as soon as the meeting gets over. Would you like something to drink or...?"
"No..no.. I am fine, Amanji." Khushi sat down, waiting for Arnavji to appear.
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