Chapter 18

San
@slippedaffairs
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You taught me the courage of stars before you left
How light carries on endlessly, even after death
With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite
How rare and beautiful it is to even exist
Ridhima suddenly stopped eating and kept her spoon on the table. She had it enough, she couldn't bear the silence, the side glances. She didn't ask him to come intentionally, their fathers decided to play matchmakers and it wasn't her fault. She didn't even know fathers - daughter planned dinner would become an Armaan - Ridhima private dinner.
 "You left me even when I didn't ask you to. You didn't even give me a chance to take a decision. I called you," she looked at him and stood up from the chair and looked down the balcony; "every single day and you didn't pick up. I hated you, I hated you so much and I don't know why but I still loved you then, I still love you now. I love you so much that I am doing this, I don't know what is right or wrong Armaan, I have never seen an Armaan who didn't want to fight for himself, it's like I am walking on glass shreds with bare feet."
I couldn't help but ask
For you to say it all again
I tried to write it down
But I could never find a pen
I'd give anything to hear
You say it one more time
That the universe was made
Just to be seen by my eyes
She turned around to see him all stood up and his eyes shined with unshed tears in the moonlight. She walked to him and held his face in her palms, her fingers touched the stubble on his face. Armaan closed his eyes as he felt the very familiar touch. Ridhima moved her hands around his neck and hugged him with her chin on his shoulder.
"I want to be with you, please tell me once that you want the same too." Few tears slipped her eyes as she whispered.
"I want you to tell me you love me, tell me you want, tell me you still need me. Please tell me you love me because I deserve it. Please tell me this is going to work."She retreated back and cried silently with soft tunes blasting from the speakers as everyone present in the restaurant was urged to dance wherever they were.
"I was intrigued the second I laid eyes on you but I don't have a choice. I am not healthy, physically or mentally. I have hurt so many people, I am not good for you." He pulled her closer. His hands on hers as they were placed on his chest, his forehead connected to hers.
"You think you don't deserve happiness Armaan and so you trying to ruin it. You don't want to give us a chance because you are scared. You want this, I know you do but you are not letting anyone in and care about you but I want you to know, that you deserve this, I deserve this, we deserve this. We deserve to be happy because you are by far one of the greatest things that happened to me and I am not going to let you go away."She cleared the tears that left his eyes and hugged him again as they swayed.
She slowly speaks as he turned her around with her back touching his chest and his chin on her shoulder and hands around her waist.
"A comet, travels across space for thousands of year alone, it breaks and shatters but it reaches the place where it's meant to be and so it's okay if you break down but you have to try, you have to come where you belong and I am not gonna let you pull out this time or back off."
He twirled her around and pulled her, keeping his right hand on her waist while left palm holding her right palm as she keeps her left hand around his neck.
"You do deserve the happiness Armaan. This doesn't feel wrong Armaan. It feels home." He clenched his jaw as an almost silent sob escaped his throat. She cleaned his eyes with her left hand and then kept it back around his neck and moved closer to his right cheek, her left almost touching it. 
"Let's just dance, okay?"She whispered.
"I love you Ridhima."It was barely audible but she heard it and nodded, not having any more power to say it back and not having any courage to get rejected again or have a 'but' at the moment.

Ridhima sighed and wondered what went wrong. Why both of them were hurting so much. She had a decision in mind but she didn't know if she herself will be okay with it or not. 
"Ridhima what do you have in mind?" Armaan looked at her as they entered billy's place.

I couldn't help but ask
For you to say it all again
I tried to write it down
But I could never find a pen
I'd give anything to hear
You say it one more time
That the universe was made
Just to be seen by my eyes
Ridhima looked at him longingly and gave him a small smile and closed the door, slipping out her feet from the 3-inch stilettoes. 
"Just something," she stoped and then suddenly turned around and continued, "do you think long distance relationships work?"
"Why are you asking this?" Armaan looked confused.
"Because I know Armaan there is always going to be a but until you really feel like getting better. I know you are not ready to tell me everything that happened in the past months, hell even I don't think I am ready to share everything and suddenly continue everything from where we left it. If we are going to get better, we have to do this together but slowly. So I am asking you if you believe in long distance relationships because whatever this is,"she pointed towards herself and then him and back "it's going to happen soon enough and in a new way. I am going to be in Mumbai, you are going to stay here and there is just this phone that is going to make us connected." Ridhima sat on the couch. She could see the movement behind one of the doors and she knew their fathers were eavesdropping like neanderthals.
"Ridhima I am sorry but I am not going to hold you back even if I believe in long distances whatever." Armaan stared at her as she looked at him with a weak expression. She got up and moved to him. She had this one day, she'll be going back tomorrow, this was her last chance for now. Anjali Di coming back was enough and she couldn't deal with failure along with it. 
She held his face in her hands.
"Tell me do you see a future with me? Because that is all that I see. I see us 5 years later working together, saving lives. I see us having conflicts on medical decisions but at night having dinner together, you giving me coffee at 10 pm because I still have a night shift ahead. I see us playing silly pranks on each other. I see us celebrating our birthdays. I see us on Saturdays watching movies and having ice cream. I see myself pestering you to have a cheat day and having pizza for every Sunday dinners."
She smiles as he looked at her with a mixture of despair and amazement. He stared in her eyes as she continued. She was on a roll, he almost rolled his eyes and chuckled at the back of his mind.
With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite
How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist
"This isn't easy for me either, this is not going to be easy as much a I want it to be but I want our parents and everyone to know that us being together isn't wrong, it isn't a disaster. It's messy but it's us."
"Okay." He couldn't fight with her anymore. She was already hurting so much.
"So I want you to promise that you'll come back to me."
He nodded as she kissed his cheeks. She picked her footware in her hands and walked to the guest room. She stopped and turned back before going inside and shouted - "papa, billy uncle, both of you can come outside the room you were hiding in." 
Armaan looked at for her one last time, today he knew that that girl would never leave him. He was surprised at the kind of proposition she did, it was almost unreal like he was in a parallel dimension where Ridhima and his souls interchanged because that girl was so badass a while ago and he was sure that in the time they aren't going to be together she'll take care of herself.
Shashank looked toward Armaan's proud smile and he as always wondered how their love for each other even being painful could be both their weakness and strength. 
He always thought a relationship is not something where you compromise but what those two did just to help each other mentally and emotionally, moving past their insecurities made him proud of his little girl and her choice for her life. 
He understood why hiding everything from her was a mistake, the pain both of them were in before could've had gotten lesser, both of them could've had been with each other and in a better place rather than miles away from each other.
Bily smiled and had teary eyes, his son had chosen the right girl and he'd be forever greatful of her.A/N : There you go. This isn't going to be all happy ahead but it's going to be fine. My exams and college entrance exams are going to continue until Mid - May, if we are lucky, you'll get one update by 25th of April but not before that. 
Are you guys excited for Boss ? I am so excited to see Karan back in action. Also I so wanted some pictures of him with a gun/revolver for a poster of my next FF I am planning on AR and Ekta Kapoor heard my prayers and so I am so ready for hd caps.
with much love, sanju
song : saturn by sleeping at last




sunsetnvine2019-03-12 17:42:01
 
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