Chapter 8

San
@slippedaffairs
Font:
Text Size:
Theme:
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one if you want me to
"Bass ek baar Muski, I am sure this is some kind of a joke, get me the phone please," Ridhima begged as soon as Muskaan entered to check her vitals. She wanted to talk to him once, hear him say all those things to her, to tell her he didn't love her, to tell her she didn't deserve him.
"But Ridzi..."
"Please." A tear dropped from Ridhima's eye as she tried to smile. Muskaan felt helpless, she didn't know who to trust but she understood Ridhima. When you love somebody, it doesn't matter what they do to you, you can't just let go without trying. There would be just one thing, one person and one action which would matter to you, to understand the truth and maybe saving Ridzi from a fall of her failing attempts wouldn't do great, maybe you need to fall to learn, to accept the truth. 
She didn't accept that Rahul was leaving that night after his farewell party, she was there in front of his house the next morning and the morning next and then even followed him to the airport, never tried to ask him not to go but made sure he'd see her face. She was ready to stop him, to call him back but he looked at her and turned away like they had nothing like she meant nothing and she turned around with no tear in her eyes but an emptiness and Muskaan knew that she'd love him always but maybe it would take her whole life to forget the pain, the betrayal. Muskaan nodded and gave the mobile to Ridhima taking it out from her lab coat. Ridhima looked at her with gratitude and Muskaan nodded at her.
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Ridhima stared at the wallpaper of her mobile screen. It was their first successful date after Roka. She opened the phone and clicked on the first name in her contact list, Armaan. It rang but he didn't pick it up. She tried for the umpteenth time but it still went on voice mail.
" The number you are trying is busy, try again later or leave a voicemail by pressing two."  
Ridhima pressed two and recorded.
"Armaan is this some kind of a joke? Where are you? Please call me back as soon as you get this."
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And one day changed to a week and then more. One voicemail turned into multiple voicemails every day. She wasn't ready to give up yet, she wasn't ready for anything.


Armaan cried as he stared the sky above standing on the Balcony Railing and looked at his phone, it was three days since Billy arrived. His father was there, for him and he felt like a hole in his life filled up. He had 101 temperature for two days and so was unconscious. It had been a week since Ridhima woke up and he wasn't able to see her, he moved to Rahul's house which was still rented due to the boxes packed and yet to be mailed to him and he couldn't let anyone visit him.
He looked at his phone screen, hundreds of missed calls and many voice messages, from her.
"Armaan are you okay? Call me back. Stop this joke please."
"Armaan maybe not as a life partner, can you accept me as a friend at least?"
"Armaan I don't care if you don't need me, please reply once."
"Armaan yahan sab keh rahe hai I won't be okay, is it true? Maybe our love wasn't strong but please tell me I'll be okay. I want to run, I want to play basketball..."
"Pata hai Di ko John Hopkins sai reply hai, she's going to join to be a resident doctor after giving an exam and internship for 6 months. But kya wo bhi mereko pasand ni karti? I can't ask her to not leave me right?" 
"Armaan bass ek baar boldo you don't love me. It's hard to stay hung up on a rope when you don't know what is the truth."
"Muskaan kind of understand me you know? Wo bhi mere saath ghar jayegi but I kind of feel ki sab meri vajah sai apni life par hold laga rahe hai. I don't know if they look at me the way anymore"
"Armaan reply, please. I am sounding too desperate but please give me a sign, I don't know how to let go..." It was the last voicemail he got timed 3 hours ago and unlike others where her voice was cracked yet strong, she ended with a cry, a welp to help her.
Armaan's body shook, he wanted to go to her. To help her. He opened his messenger and recorded a voice message. " Ridhima I want to come, believe me, I am trying to find every possible way for me to be okay and come to you. It pains to me hear you cry." and since then, it remained unsent along with other hundreds of voicemails.

And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
"Armaan talk to me, please." Ridhima pleaded as she held his hand in hers strongly while he kept looking away with his bloodshot eyes. She kept her head on the bed and sighed as she silently cried. She wanted him to look at her, even if with no love, nothing but she just wanted to look at his face, drink his presence.
"Take her away." He whispered looking at the nurses and he pulls his hand away but she held it closer and looked at him, he felt her gaze. She heard him, heard his voice and it was everything for her at that moment and a cry broke out her throat.
"Armaan speak to me. I'll go but first, you have to look at me and ask me to go." Ridhima said with a firm voice and turned his face towards her with her hand holding his chin and jaw and stood up.
Armaan pushed her hand away quickly from his face but her grip remained firm on his hand. Armaan didn't dare to look at her nor he knew he would break, he would melt like a puddle in her arms and cry like a baby, in fact, it was all he wanted but he couldn't let that happen, it wasn't supposed to be. 
Armaan tried to free his hand but couldn't with a little tug. He felt his despair turned into anger, he knew it was a lost cause but if he did something to her, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.
"Armaan look at me. f**k..." She cursed and shook his body holding him from shoulders leaving his hand.
He looked at her as if asking her to let go as Billy entered the room to ask Ridhima to go away. He wanted her to understand the message by looking into his eyes but it was like she didn't want to understand what he wanted to convey.
Armaan's breathing turned uneven as the overwhelming feeling captured his brain.
"Go away, please. I beg you." He whispered but couldn't say it loud.
"Billy uncle ask him to talk to me." Ridhima looked at Billy and begged.
"Ridhima let's go outside for now. We should take it slow, come on." Billy pulled her but Ridhima resisted.
"Armaan I love you. Okay? and no one could take that right away from me, you are going to be better and even if not, I am still going to be here, I promise and even if you disagree I don't care, that's not your call to make." Ridhima said out loud to Armaan but it was enough for Armaan to do what he didn't want, he pushed her hard and she stumbled back with a force and fell down on the floor, scraped her knee and hurt her palm of the left hand.
"I told you to go away. I don't want you and I am going to hurt you like this if you stay with me. Go away, please save me from the misery and go away." Armaan broke down as his breaths became shorter and Billy helped Ridhima stand up. 
What he didn't know was that what he said gave Ridhima all the answers she wanted, all the way to contradict what he was believing. Ridhima had a plan, it would be hard but if it would get them together in the longer term, she was all ready. 
Soon Armaan was put on an induced sleep for the third time in two days while Ridhima turned around and walked out of the room with a new agenda, with a new strength.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you


A/ N: So here you. My babies are in so different places right now that it won't be easy. Nope, not at all. They wouldn't have to fight with the world now but themselves and I am so ready to write that phase soon. :)
song: say something by a great big world.
love, sanju


Meraki.2018-07-14 20:11:12
 
Your reaction

Nice
Awesome
Loved
LOL
OMG
Cry
Chapter 8

Your reaction

Post Your Comment

Latest Stories

Top 10 authors

Fan Fictions Help Center

Add Media

Crop Image
