Chapter 7

San
@slippedaffairs
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well golden gates can wait, let them have the well it was
It's just us, it's just us right now
Armaan fell asleep long ago by the sedatives while Ridhima sat in the numb state for the longest time on the floor as she drank the peace of the moment, her surroundings, and the unbearable yet surreal feeling.
"Ridhima you want too..." Billy stopped in the middle as Ridhima looked at him and nodded understanding his unfinished question. She breathed in and slowly moved into Armaan's room.

even if we disappear, even if we're left behind
It's just this, it's just this right now
She looked at him intently, like he would disappear if she looked somewhere else. She moved closer with her lips quivering and moist eyes. He looked pale, skinnier, his abs almost disappeared. She stood near him, opened her fists and traced the new engraving on his upper arm,"basket" she whispered. 
His skin felt cold, rough and dry. She sat on the stool and held his hands in hers and kissed his knuckles and hiccuped a happy cry. She leaned a little closer to his face and kissed his forehead, brushing his hairs away from the forehead, they looked undernourished, dry and uneven. She traced his facial bones, inhaled his presence and started at his unshaved look. 
and there is never a time that is not now
there is never a time that is not now...
She looked up as Billy entered the room and stood beside her. Billy caressed her head and smiled. He quickly walked to the other chair kept at the far end of the room and picked up to place beside Rdihima and sat on it. 
"Are you okay?" Billy asked even if he knew the answer, he really wanted her to say what she wanted to.
"Not really, but I am happy. I feel nothing like normal or okay, but I feel I am breathing fine now, no anger or pain but only regret that I misunderstood him." Ridhima smiled sadly.
"Pata hai uncle jab mujhe pata chala Armaan mujhe isliye chodke chala gaya because I was paralyzed, physically impaired. I never believed anyone for some time, I left a number of voicemails on his number but then he never replied and somehow I let it all in. 
It wasn't even that painful until I was discharged and allowed to go home, they weren't keeping their hopes up and everyone kept telling me it was okay, they would still love me, that I am still their daughter but those words weren't the ones I wanted to here, they were so insincere that I stopped to talking to everyone at one point of time and I voice mailed Armaan for another week or two until his number changed and I accepted my imparity easily. 
Watching him in that state sometime before, I was taken into the time when I used to push my nurses away because those dreams they used to be so scary, so unbearable." Ridhima kept her head on Billy's shoulder and closed her eyes.
Billy cleared his eyes as she fell asleep. Since the day they met, the day he saw that kada in her hand, he knew she was the right girl, she became part of the family and even if Armaan wouldn't have had proposed her after his memory loss, he did plan on having their marriage arranged. In his aloofness, he lost his son for years but this girl had Armaan's ego disappeared into the thin air as he asked them to come and go to her house as a family, his chest swelled with pride that day.
between the night, between the day
until it's time for us to say

Armaan stared at the person in front of him, rubbing his fingers on his eyes for the umpteenth time. His throat felt dry and he felt goosebumps. She was really here and soaked in her presence. She looked different. She looked tired as her forehead looked wrinkled and her eyebrows furrowed even if she was asleep.
He moved a little to pick up the glass full of water, slowly and steadily, not to disturb her in sleep as she held his hand tightly. He definitely was having a hard time in accepting the situation.
As she felt someone move, she quickly opened her eyes and looked around and was surprised to find she slept for almost 13 hours and looked at Armaan and sighed but soon her eyes felt moist, he was awake. Her head swirled at the situation. She moved her hands up and down his hands as he shed his tears.
He pulled her closer on his bead and cupped her face. Tears streaming, forehead attached both breathed hard. She cleared his eyes and nodded in negative as he pulled her into him and hid his face and his body shook. It felt like a dream to him, too unreal but surreal. She patted his back and ran her fingers in his hair.
He pushed her face back and held her from her shoulder and kissed her forehead and ran his fingers tips across her face and pushed her hairs coming on her face to get a clearer view. She pulled him into another hug as if hiding away from the world, she wanted it to be this way. It felt right, it was just them there and it was all she wanted to breathe. 
She picked up the glass and asked him to drink water as she realized he was going to drink water before she woke up. As soon as he finished drinking the water, she quickly took the glass placed it on the table and hugged him again, kissing his jawline and then moving to his face, and placed a lingering kiss on his forehead and left a cry as hugged him again.
in the bitter sweetest way, in the clarity, we see
it's just words, it's just words right now 
He pushed her back quickly as he realized his situation when he saw with his blurry vision, some nurses entering his room and took his hand away from her as she looked at him shocked and held his hands again and again while he pulled it away again and again. 
"Armaan.." She breathed and held his hands in hers. She cried as he looked away from her. She wanted to hold him, close with their bodies entangled that no force would be able to pull them away but he wasn't even looking at her. And somehow this time she never doubted his love, somehow she knew it was because he was ashamed, because he didn't want to hurt her and her heart broke to see him in that state, the state where he loathed himself, where he felt unworthy of her.
And she made up her mind, clearing her tears away, she was going to fight for them, she was going to make him feel okay, have his faith in everything and have his fight for himself and have that self-doubt disappear into thin air.
though we'll never understand why it has to be this way
it just is, it just is, it just is
and there is never a time that is not now...

A/ N: I am not replying to any comments as of now because of upcoming test on Thursday though I will definitely try to and also I will update tomorrow again or maybe in some hours if I get a super good response in a matter of hours. :p
song used: Between The Night, Between The Day by Rosi Golan.


Meraki.2018-07-09 12:05:29
 
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