Chapter 23
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[MEMBERSONLY]
EXPELLIARMUS 2013-07-27 07:57:19
Banner Credit: Naach_Basanti.
This update is for Meera30, who is currently writing an ArHi story that I am in love with.
I'm your fan for life, Meera!
12)Hamesha...
(Part One)
"Amma, if you could only wait for one more day, I will come with you."
"Don't be silly, Khushi. I don't want you to waste your leave for this! I have waited for years to be able to fulfill my mannat by going to the dargah, and I can't give up this chance when I'm here.And I won't be alone, will I? Your Buaji will go with me..."
"Are you sure, Amma? We can cancel these train tickets and book new ones..."
"Khushi, I'm only going to Lucknow , not London. And I'll be back in a few days...there's the signal, the train is going to leave. "
Khushi stood up quickly, then placed her arms around her mother in one last hug.
"Call me when you have reached Buaji's house, Amma."
The older woman nodded, and Khushi turned around and stepped off the train.
As the train left the platform, she fought hard to keep her smile intact while she waved at her mother.
The sense of unease that had taken over her this morning refused to go away completely, and she realized that she was still worried about her mother's first visit to Lucknow in ten years.
She tried to reassure herself that it was probably an irrational fear since it had been more than a decade since that incident, and no one would even remember it anymore. She had spoken about this with NK and Bauji, and they had reassured her that they had no problem with this trip. In fact, her father had reminded her that he had made the trip to Lucknow a couple of years back in order to settle some property matters, and no one had even recognized him.
She recalled those words now, and felt a little better than before.
Turning away from the platform, she made a mental note to call her Buaji and Amma when the train reached Lucknow.
Everything would be fine.
She would pray that it would be.
As she got into her car and closed the door behind her, her gaze fell on the bangles that he had given her. They hadn't escaped her mother's notice, and Khushi had explained their significance to a visibly surprised Garima.
But now the sight of those bangles reminded her of something else that made her heart race.
She was going to see him tonight.
It had been two days since she had made that phone call to him, but he hadn't been able to leave as early as he had wanted to. He had finally taken a flight out of San Francisco yesterday, and it had landed here this morning. He had texted her from the airport to say that he had landed, and she had replied saying that she was going to the train station to drop her mother.
Since today was a Sunday, she did not have to go to work, and she planned to go home and start cooking for the dinner date.
It had been a while since she had tried to cook the traditional Lucknowi dishes that her mother had taught her. But today was important, and she wanted to spare no effort in making it special.
For him.
______
An hour later, Khushi stared down at the flour that she had just dropped all over the counter.
This was her millionth disaster in the kitchen today, and she knew just what was to blame for that.
Or rather, who to blame for the nerves that were making her fumble while performing simple, everyday tasks.
Arnav Singh Raizada.
She wondered what he was doing at the moment.
He was probably asleep after the long flight, jet lag had probably started affecting him.
She couldn't wait for him to come here tonight. The information she had gathered...the plans she had made...she just couldn't wait to share them with him.
How would he react when she told him that...
She shook her head and reached for the cleaning rag, then dusted the counter quickly.
There was no use speculating about his responses, he always managed to surprise her anyway. She needed to focus on cooking and cleaning the house for now, she wanted everything to be perfect tonight.
She even had the perfect saree picked out for the occasion, a deep red chiffon one with bronze thread work along the borders. Once she was done with her work here, she would take a shower and get dressed...
The movements of her hands slowed, then stopped completely as she realized just how long it had been since she had felt so excited, or enthusiastic about something.
Or someone.
She had lived in the shadows for so long...and now that she had taken the first step into the sunlight, she couldn't believe how she had lived without it's warmth for so many years.
This was her one chance at happiness, and she was going to give it her best shot.
The past...the nightmares, and the memories...she would fight them all, because this was worth it.
A small smile curved her lips as she resumed dusting again, but she was interrupted by the ring of the doorbell this time.
She wiped her hands on the rag and walked out into the living-room, wondering who could be at the door. She pushed her hair back with one hand while reaching for the doorknob with the other, and glanced at the peephole just before opening the door.
She froze in shock for a moment, then threw open the door and stared at the man on her doorstep.
"Aap!"
"Haan, main. Were you expecting someone else?"
"What? No! I mean, you weren't supposed to come here until later!"
"Do you want me to leave?"
The teasing smile on his face belied the seriousness of his words, and she allowed her gaze to travel down his body, taking in the blue jeans and white shirt that were significantly less formal compared to what he wore to the office everyday.
It had been ten days since she had last seen him, and the memory of his parting words came back to her.
Yes, he had waited for her.
He had given her the time and space to sort out her priorities and make a decision, and he had returned, just as he had promised.
And now it was up to her to make the best of this opportunity that had been handed to her.
She shook her head, then tore her eyes away from him and stepped away from the door.
But when she looked back at him to see why he hadn't followed her, the expression in his eyes made her heart still, then race madly.
Because every other emotion had been wiped clear from the brown depths...until all that remained was an all-consuming hunger.
She stumbled back against the wall, her breathing rapid and uncertain.
He walked inside , then shut the door behind him and caged her in against the wall.
"I had warned you the last time, Khushi. Don't look at me like that unless you are prepared to face the consequences."
This time, when his lips descended to hers, there was no hesitation or uncertainty on her part.
The yearning and the need that she had suppressed from the past few weeks rose to the surface, and she couldn't stop herself from pressing her body close to his and winding her arms around his neck .
His hands speared into her hair, and he gave a gentle tug until he had angled her head to deepen the kiss.
When their lips parted for air, he have her no respite from the passion that threatened to overwhelm her. He pushed her back against the wall and covered her body with his before kissing her again, and she lost herself in the maelstrom of sensations that only he seemed to be able to arouse.
Moments later, he let her go abruptly and stepped away, then ran his hands through his hair as he stared at her reddened lips .
"Dammit. I didn't mean to..."
He turned away, then walked towards the other end of the room.
She straightened slowly, then raised a trembling hand to her lips.
He had turned back to face her now, and she caught her breath at the emotions in the caramel depths.
"I didn't come here for this, Khushi."
"I..."
"When I got home from the airport, all I could think of was...you. I gave myself time for a quick shower and rushed over...but not for this. Well...not entirely."
That teasing gleam was back in his eyes, and she blushed before looking away towards the kitchen.
"I...I wasn't ready yet. I have just started cooking and I haven't even had time to change..."
His eyes moved over her slim form, taking in the light blue salwar kameez she wore, and the long hair that she had wound into a careless knot at the nape of her neck.
"You're fine, just the way you are. I'm having enough difficulty keeping my hands off you as it is..."
She turned away from him, her heart pounding against her chest as his words registered.
"But I...I wanted to make this perfect...I was planning to cook a Lucknowi dinner and..."
"It doesn't matter, Khushi. You can do that some other time. Right now...we need to talk. We've put this off for far too long."
She nodded, knowing that he was right.
The past ten days had been hard on her, and apparently on him as well. There was nothing to be gained by delaying this discussion, and she braced herself to face him again.
And then she remembered his other words.
You can do that some other time.
Her heart soared as she understood their significance, as she understood that he was thinking about them in terms of being together for a while.
She didn't know why she had doubts to begin with about that, but the words had reassured her that she hadn't caused any lasting damage to their relationship. And now it was up to her to tell him what she had come up with, and convince him that this could work.
A thrill of excitement went through her, something that she hadn't felt in years.
It was time to take a leap of faith,and she couldn't wait to do it.
She walked over to the couch and sat down in one corner, and he did the same.
They stared at each other for a moment, until she forced herself to speak.
"Your issues at A.R...were they resolved?"
"Most of them, yes. But there's still one major decision that needs to be made..I'll tell you about that later. First, I need to know what it is that you wanted to tell me."
She took a deep breath, then reached out hesitantly for his hand. He looked down at her pale fingers, then enclosed them in his warm, firm grasp.
"You...you were right, Arnav. I am guilty of...not reaching out for what I want. But not anymore."
"Does this mean you've finally forgiven yourself ?"
She looked away for a moment, the turned back to face him.
"I...I'll be honest here. I don't think I have, not completely. What happened ten years ago...it has defined me in so many ways, Arnav. The person I am today was shaped by the past...and so are you..."
"But I have made a conscious decision to move on, Khushi."
"And so have I. But the change will be slow, Arnav. I can't just wake up one morning and forget that I was responsible for..."
He placed one finger on her lips, and she looked up at him with wide eyes.
"We're not going there again, Khushi. We've been through this before, but now I want to talk about where we can go from here."
She nodded shakily, and waited for him to take his finger away.
But he didn't do so immediately. He caressed the curve of her lower lip with the pad of his thumb, then leaned forward as if he was about to kiss her.
The next moment, he swore under his breath and stood up quickly, then walked over to stand by the window.
"You are too distracting for your own good, Khushi Kumari Gupta."
She stared at him, then blurted out something that had always puzzled her.
"Why now?"
"What?"
"Why do you feel this way about me now? This...uncontrolled yearning that I feel too...why do we feel it now? When previously there was only guilt...and hatred..."
"Because we've finally given ourselves the freedom to look past the guilt, and the hatred, Khushi. Although if I am honest, this pull has always been there, right from the start."
He raised one eyebrow when he saw her disbelieving look.
"I's true. That is one of the reasons I hated you more than ever when I saw you again after ten long years. I just couldn't believe that I was attracted beyond all reason to the one woman whom I hated above all else. Or wanted to hate, at least."
She looked down at her hands, wondering at the similarities in their predicament.
She had battled through this too, when the unprecedented attraction had caught her unawares.
"Khushi...I don't think we should continue with this topic, though. I can't guarantee that I won't..."
She didn't dare raise her eyes to his, afraid that the blaze that was sure to be there would consume her as well.
"What were you going to tell me?"
She took a deep breath, knowing that it was time.
Finally, it was time to move forward and break free.
"I did some research on PAHO."
She bit her lips as soon as the words had left her mouth, aware that she had only confused him further.
"PAHO?"
"The Pan American Health Organisation. It is the regional office of the World Health Organisation, located in Washington D.C"
"I still don't understand. What does this have to do with us?"
She stood up slowly, then walked towards him, finally stopping when he was within arm's reach.
"They have vacancies in their International division, where they recruit professionals with similar health administrative experience from different countries. And I...sent them an application."
His eyes widened with shock, and he took one step closer.
"Does that mean..."
"It means that if I'm accepted, then I'll...resign from my current position in the Department of Health."
"And you'll move...to the States?"
"Yes. The new position will be very similar to what I'm doing right now, but on a larger scale. It will allow me to experience health management of global issues, and I think it will be very exciting."
"But what about making a difference here, in India? You were so passionate about that..."
"As part of the WHO, I could work on projects related to the sub-continent. I could make an even bigger difference when I'm not hampered by the red-tape and corruption..."
"And you're ready to move halfway across the world for that? What about your family?"
"I've spoken to Bhai about this too. He said that if...things work out for me, he would give some serious thought to moving as well. He could take up a job in any software company there, and then we could bring Amma and Bauji..."
He was still staring at her, but now the shock was giving way and a powerful, undefined emotion was taking it's place.
"You have this all mapped out, don't you? And you came up with all this in the past ten days?"
"No...this was something that I found out two days back."
"Two days? And in those forty-eight hours, you have made the decision to quit a job that you love, leave the country of your birth, and uproot your family...all for..."
"...you, Arnav."
He stared at her for a long moment, then moved towards her and took her hands in his.
"You're serious, aren't you? You're really going to do this."
She raised one hand to his face, then caressed it gently.
"Yes, I'm going to do this. I want to do this. Because that's what you asked me to do. I'm fighting for my happiness, Arnav. And that means fighting for you."
"Khushi..."
He leaned forward and kissed her waiting lips gently. Once, then twice before releasing her.
"I...I don't know what to say. When you called me the other day, the last thing I had imagined was this. I still can't believe that you would do this for me..."
"For us, actually."
He smiled, then nodded.
"For us, then. I know that this is a huge step for you, and I cannot tell you how happy I am that you have finally taken a step towards me...but..."
Her heart stilled, and panic took the place of the fragile hope that had existed earlier.
"But?"
"But you don't need to do this, Khushi."
Her mind want blank for a moment, and then she realized that there was only one reason why he wouldn't want her to do this.
"You've changed your mind."
Her voice was thick with unshed tears, and she barely noticed the look of confusion that crossed his face.
"You...you've changed your mind about me, haven't you? This is...just a short-term thing for you. You...you don't see us together in the long run, that's why you don't want me to do this."
He grasped her by the arms and shook her slightly, his eyes blazing with anger now.
"Stop it! You've got it completely wrong!"
"Then...why don't you want me to move?"
"Because I'm moving here, dammit!"
She stilled , and so did he.
She stared at him with wide eyes, unable to believe her ears.
"You're doing what?"
"I'm moving here, to Delhi. That's the major decision I was talking about earlier. A.R has been looking at expansion opportunities in South-East Asia for a while now, and that's why Sheetal was here to begin with..."
She looked away quickly at the mention of the other woman's name, and he swore before pulling her close.
"I...I didn't mean to bring her name up, Khushi. But these plans have been in the works for months now, and I've finally decided to helm the Asian division myself."
"But...what about your US offices?"
"I've appointed a new COO, and I'm planning to make trips there to check on things frequently. This way, I can stay on top of what's going on there, and at the same time I can get started on some really exciting stuff here. Do you know how many wasted opportunities are present here for adventure tourism? This could be the start of something big..."
"...or it could be the end of everything, Arnav."
"What?"
She closed her eyes, aware that he wasn't going to like what she had to say.
"Arnav...coming back to India might make sense to you from a business perspective, but...you told me once that this place was a constant reminder of what happened ten years ago. So how could we stay together when all you can see, all you can think of is..."
"...you."
It was her turn to be confused now, and she stared up at him again.
"The only thing I can think of...the only thing I can see and feel since I've landed here is...you, Khushi Kumari Gupta. A few months ago, I couldn't even have imagined that something...or someone could make me forget...but you have done just that. This place reminds me of you,and all that we have shared...all that can be, if we give this a chance."
"I...I don't know what to say. It's hard to believe that you..."
He sighed, then released her to run his hands through his hair again.
"Will you believe me if I give you my other reasons for moving back?"
"Other reasons?"
"Yes. I started thinking about this move for you, and then I realized that this would fulfill another objective as well."
"What?"
"My family, Khushi. I've battled with the guilt for ten years, and I can't do it anymore. Nani might pretend that she's still young and everything is fine with her, but I've seen how the years have been catching up with her. If something were to happen to her while I was away...I don't think I could bear that. I've let my hatred and anger blind me to my responsibilities for a decade, but I won't let that happen anymore. And then there's Akash...he has this idea about a charitable foundation, and he's willing to give up a political career for that. I don't think he realizes how tough it's going to be...but I intend to help him with that, by channeling the profits of the Asian division to his fund. So my move is for them too, Khushi."
His rational arguments were piercing through the haze of disbelief, but she had one final doubt that wouldn't let her give in so soon.
"Arnav...if you move to Delhi, I'll still be in my current position. And the differences in our religions will still exist..."
"But I won't be in the public eye anymore, Khushi. That will make all the difference here. No one will really care if a businessman dates a Principal Secretary."
"Some people would, Arnav."
"Well we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, do you see how my plan could work?"
She turned away towards the window, trying to look at it from all angles.
But try as she might, she couldn't come up with any other objection.
She turned slightly, and smiled for the first time since he had entered the room.
"I think you might be right, Sir."
There was silence for a moment, and then his husky laughter rang out across the room.
"You'll quickly learn that I'm always right, Ms.Gupta. And my plan is better than yours."
She turned to face him fully, her eyes narrowing at his assumption.
"My plan was good too. There was nothing wrong with it."
"We'll have to agree to disagree. Now come one, change into something else and we can leave."
"Leave?"
He gestured around the room.
"Yes, didn't you just tell me that you haven't cooked yet? So let me take you out."
She stared at him, then nodded slowly.
"I'll need a few minutes..."
"Take all the time you need. I'm going nowhere."
She turned towards her bedroom, but his soft voice stopped her in her tracks.
"Khushi..."
When she faced him again, his eyes were solemn.
"Never, ever suggest that I'm not serious about you. "
She closed her eyes, aware that she had hurt him unintentionally when she said that earlier.
"Arnav, I..."
"Go, Khushi. Let's go out on our first date."
She couldn't stop the smile that broke out on her lips, and she was still smiling when she entered her bedroom and changed quickly into the red saree. She combed out her hair and left it loose, then quickly applied a coating of lip gloss before wearing silver jhumkis in her ears.
Her only other ornament were the wide kangans that she had never taken off until now, and she paused for a moment to look at herself in the mirror.
A graceful, excited, exhilarated woman looked back at her, and in that moment, the enormity of his decision struck her in it's entirety.
She wouldn't have to give up anything, and neither would he.
Not really.
They were going to have it all.
Together.
Dreams did come true, after all.
Even the ones you never realized you had in the first place.
________
Arnav knocked on her door, his impatience getting the better of him.
After a moment's silence, a muffled 'yes' was his only reply. He opened the door and walked in, then stilled at the beautiful sight before him.
Dressed in red with her hair falling to her waist, she looked like his every dream come to life.
As he stared at her in the mirror, she looked down at the dressing-table, her cheeks turning pink with embarrassment.
She toyed with her hairbrush, then opened the drawer to place it inside.
In that instant, he caught sight of something and hurried over to remove it from the drawer before she closed it completely.
"You have this too?"
She looked up at him, then down again at the photograph in his hands.
He knew when it had been taken, of course. That moment between them had been captured for all eternity, and he had carried it around with him ever since.
"Are you...saying that you..."
Her halting words came to a stop when he reached inside his wallet and pulled out an identical copy, now creased from being placed in the confined space for so long.
Surprise crossed her expressive features, and she reached out for his copy.
"I can't believe that you have kept this with you..."
"Neither can I, Khushi."
He took both copies from her, then placed them on the table.
"We don't need those anymore. "
He held his arms out to her, and she didn't hesitate before walking into them.
"No, we don't. We have the real thing now."
He kissed her gently, then grasped her hand and started walking out of the apartment.
"But...where are we going?"
"You'll see when we get there."
__________
Please scroll down for Part Two
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