Chapter 2

'Why are you so stubborn? Don't you understand you are heading towards a dead end?' Shouted Swayam. I was not in my senses and everything around me was in haze. My mouth was reeking alcohol. We were sitting on a small bench besides a garage where we usually hung out in the evening. It was like my own smoking lounge.

Swayam, my friend from past 6 yrs was a kind of chocolate boy which I always make fun of. I liked him because he was sincere & honest. As the proverb says "A friend in need is a friend indeed."

But the present moment things were going sour between us. He raised his voice and said ' If you just want to do what you feel like and not listen to what I have to say, then get lost. I am leaving.'

'Okay sorry' I replied. I understand it's not right but I just don't have the strength to face real world. Not anymore'.

He gave me some water and the argument continued. If I think about it practically, I was really taking my life to that end of the road from which there was no turning back.

I kept telling myself; No I don't love her. I don't want her back. I am happy and enjoying my life. Who says my heart is broken? Do hell with her! I will sleep with other girls. And why should I think of just one girl when she doesn't give damn about me as well?

But the fact was that I was just fooling myself by saying all this. I have always loved and cared for her, and I always will. Why do we love a person so much? I had no answer to that. I still wonder why I let her go.

When I had called her on Sept 10 to convince her to come back in my life and rescue me from darkness, she had said, You never loved me. It was just lust. You loved my outer appearance, not who I was on the inside. You hurt me, my feelings and my love for you. You would have ignored me otherwise.'

I had replied furiously saying 'No baccha! I never tried to ignore you. But if you still think I did, I am ready to do whatever you want. You really think I loved you for your looks? I won't justify myself but you know what the truth is'.

'What matters is trust. And that you broke so easily. Trust, relationships and the heart are three things that one should respect at least. But you broke all three and left me alone. Now just buzz off'

She had shouted.

'Fine, I won't ever disturb you again. But before leaving, just tell me one thing-do you seriously not love me anymore?' I had asked. In my heart, I had really wanted her to say Yes I miss you, I want you, and I am all yours."

But she had unfortunately said, 'No I don't. I do not even care for you now. Please leave me alone. Bye'

I remember thinking to myself: What the f**k is this!! LUST...LOVE...what does she mean? I love her. Never did I once lust for her. Did she mean that whatever she felt for me was lust?. Maybe I don't deserve to be her boyfriend. She loved me. She really did. I hope she did. But she says she did not. How is this possible? Is it the end of everything? Is it the end of our friendship & relationship?

May be it is the end of my life...

That was the time I decide to take some firm decisions in my life.

As the Supreme Court verdict goes, 'Dafa 302, sazza-e-maut"to be hanged till death...'

To you it may seem silly, like I have gone crazy. But it sounded like the verdict from my own broken heart.

'SAZAA-E-MAUT. DRINK TILL DEATH.'

For life goes on...I fell on the floor with a bang. My last words were, 'I love you, I really love you. I never betrayed you. The situation was against me. Trust me, my baccha, I am still crazy about you. My heart still skips a beat whenever I see you.'

But nobody was there to hear me. Nobody took me seriously, And I cried my heart out...

Raat itni tanhaa kyun hoti hai?

Kismat se apni sabko shikayaat kyun hoti hai?

Ajeed khel khelti hai yeh kismat!

Jise hum paa nahi sakte,

Usi se mohabbat kyun hoti hai?

~*~*~*~*~

So how was it? Should I continue? What you liked? Please tell me everything through your comments!!!