Chapter 20

PART 20

Kripa eventually leaves and goes to the outhouse. Angad is still shocked that Kripa even thought of leaving. He thought that everything was okay. But then he started thinking maybe there was something that was making her unhappy. He thought to himself what kind of friend am I if I can't even be there for her. He decided to go to the outhouse and talk to Kripa.

Angad walked over to the outhouse. As he is about to walk in, he sees Karan and Kripa sitting in the living room. Karan looks really stressed. He says, I tried talking to the doctor. He was really adamant about meeting you. He said that he can't perform an operation without knowing and understanding his patient. God Kripa, why the hell didn't you come with me. This was our only chance for you to have a successful operation. We are running out of options and time. You don't understand how serious this problem is. Kripa is sitting there taking all this in. She just has her head down. She knows how serious the problem is. She knows that she is dying but she didn't want to show her fear to Karan. She didn't want him to lose hope, as she had lost all. She had to be strong for him and to some degree for herself. She touched Karan on his hand and with a smile said, Karan don't worry I have faith that everything will be okay. I trust you and more importantly I trust my god. He is with me at all times, he is with me right now. Well Karan couldn't handle Kripa's optimism. He was as it is frustrated with this whole thing, he looked at Kripa and said you know what I don't really care anymore. Its your life do whatever the hell you want to. He got up and just stormed off. He was so pissed off that he couldn't control his anger. He left Kripa crying. When Karan said that it literally shattered Kripa. She felt really useless. You see tears running down her face, but she doesn't break down completely. She tries to hold onto whatever hope she has.

Angad heard everything. He know knows the one secret that Kripa wanted to tell him but couldn't. He was upset but thought to himself that I have no right to be upset. If I was in her position I would probably do the same thing. He whipped his tears and knocked on the door.

Kripa looked over and quickly whipped her tears. She saw Angad and said hello.  Angad could see that she was trying really hard to hide her pain but he knew. Angad took Kripa by the hand and said come with me. He took her to his car and said please don't say anything.

Kripa just sat in the car and Angad took them both to the beach. They got out of the car and Angad took Kripa by her hand and they both walked over to the rocks that overlooked the peaceful ocean.

Then sat in silence for a while. This time really gave Kripa time to settle down and become calm. But what she really wanted to do was to cry. She wanted to scream and tell the world that she wanted to live. She wanted to live! She held back because she didn't want Angad to know anything.

Angad after a while broke the silence. He looked at her and said Kripa, I heard everything that you and Karan talked about. He figured that instead of beating around the bush he just confront Kripa. Kripa was SHOCKED. She didn't have words to express what she felt. Angad was about to say anything when all of a sudden; Kripa flung herself on Angad and started balling. She let out all her emotions and just sobbed. Angad wrapped his arms around her and just held her. He knew that she was going through all this alone and knew that she had kept a lot of feelings bottled up inside. He let her cry. Kripa finally got a hold of herself and whispered to Angad, I am sorry (she is whipping her tears) I shouldn't be crying in front of you. Angad turned her to face and said, why because I am not one of yours or because you don't consider me a friend or is it because you don't trust me. She just looked into his deep eyes and said, its not that its just… She remained silent for a second and then just vented. She turned and faced Angad and said, Angad I want to live, I want to see the world. The fear of dying is too much for me. I just want to live. Then she screamed out into the calm ocean, I WANT TO LIVE! Angad grabbed her and just held her. She cried in his arms. They both just sat there in complete and utter silence.

Kripa really felt for the first time in Bombay like she didn't carry the world's problems on her tiny shoulders. She felt a sense of relief to be able to share her feelings with someone. She felt relaxed in a morbid way.

Angad on the other hand couldn't see the one person that he considered his best friend in so much pain. It was killing him to know that she was going through all this by herself. He wanted to yell at her and say that it wasn't fair that she didn't tell him. It wasn't fair that she went through all of this alone. It was fair to those that were falling in love with her. Yes this is the first time Angad has realized that he is in love. The fear of losing her made him realize what he really wanted. He wanted Kripa!

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