Different

Different

Nelwina knew she was different. Her family and family friends had made that abundantly clear. Unlike her brother, Theseus, she didn't like to play and venture out into make-believe adventures of saving the princess with the other children. 

"A princess can save herself. Besides, why can't I go to look after the Hungarian Horntail like the Weasley boy?" she would argue and go back to helping her mother feed the hippogriffs. Her love for animals was considered odd for a child. She not only loved them, but she cherished them. 

She also knew she was different in some other ways. For starters, she didn't like being called "she". Sometimes she thought when she would grow up, she would look like her dad. She didn't like it when her mom picked frocks for her. Even though she was just eight, she didn't like when people told her to sit properly or behave like a girl. 

A few hours ago, a realization had dawned on her. Earlier that day, her brother and the neighbors' sons were playing a game where they were jumping over the fence. Boys being boys, her mother had said and had giggled in a manner appropriate for a lady. She too had wanted to jump like the boys. She knew it would be fun, and dangerous. But the boys hadn't thought it was a good idea for a girl to play boys' games, for a girl to behave like a boy.

"Your sister is a boy!" They had said and Theseus had yelled, "Stop behaving like a boy!" at her and had ran away. She had just stared at her brother's retreating figure for some time and then had run into the stables, where her mother was tending to her hippogriffs.

"Mother? Why am I a girl?" Nelwina asked, and her mother turned to look at her in confusion.

"What does that mean, Nelly?" Emma asked her daughter, kindly. Her Nelly was sensitive, she had to be protected at all costs, and Emma knew that. 

"I don't feel like a girl, but everyone insists that I be a girl! Behave like a girl! It's annoying!"

Snowy, a hippogriff that Nelwina loved, came to her and gently nudged her cheek with his beak.

"Oh, baby! Don't listen to them! You can do whatever your heart wishes. There is no such thing as behaving like a boy or a girl!" Emma shrugged and went back to her, but Nelwina was just standing there, patting Snowy. 

"But, I don't think I am a girl..." She whispered, uncertainty in her voice. Suddenly, a wave of realization hit her. What if she was not a girl? What if she was always meant to be a boy? It was as if seeing herself as a boy in her mind's eye alone had relieved her of eight years of anxiety. She didn't dare look at her mother who had almost jogged back to her daughter, hoping that whatever she had heard was wrong.

"Your nanny tells me you said something similar to her. Is this something you really feel that you aren't a girl?"

Nelwina wanted to cry. She hoped her mother wasn't disappointed in her. She could see the confusion in her mother's eyes and she didn't like it. Her mother always had answers and if she was confused, then who would help her figure out her sudden discovery?

"I am so sorry, Mother, but I..." She tried again but looked at her feet.

"Do you think you are a boy?" Emma asked her daughter.

"I think so. I feel it in my inside, I cannot explain it, maybe I am being silly, but..."

"Baby, you can never be silly," Emma said and wiped her tears. She pulled her daughter in her lap.

"I often have dreams where I am all grown up and have two strong arms and body like a man. I dream that I will take care of the hippogriffs like Father does, and take them out for rides like him. I dream of going out and learning more about the magical animals, but as a man. And then when I wake up, I feel trapped, because I feel that wasn't the body I was supposed to have. It is so strange. Irma Crabbe doesn't like to play princess games, but she likes being a girl. But I feel as if I was born in a wrong body. I don't know what is this, I  don't know why I feel like this."

And Nelwina started crying. Emma held her daughter close and waited for her son's to stop. 

"Do you know, that Helga Hufflepuff was actually Harriet Hufflepuff?"

"She was a boy?"

"Oh yes! But as she grew up, she realized that maybe, she wasn't a boy. Then, using all her knowledge of magic, she tried to change her body. She then approached her cleaver friend, Rowena, who figured it out. Today, she is known as the greatest Witch who helped found Hogwarts."

"So is it okay if I want to be a wizard?" Nelwina asked hesitantly.

"Yes, love," Emma replied.

"Listen, I will talk to your father, and we will go to St. Mungos. Since this is a major change for you, the healers will help you with it. And remember, you are wonderful the way you are and your mother always loves you. Your father and I are always there for you, no matter what. Will you remember that for me, Nelwina?" Emma offered some advice, wisely. 

Nelwina looked at her mother for a few seconds.

"I like the name Newt. Can I be Newt?" he asked instead, and Emma nodded with a smile.

Her son was different, and she would protect and love him at all costs. The European magical society is okay with people like her son, but not the rest of the world. So she knew that people will say mean things to him, but she had to prepare him to be strong. It was them against the world, and she was ready for any fight when it came to Newt and Theseus.

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