The Broken Doll’s House

The Broken Doll’s House

“Yes, I’ve read their clauses. Set up a meeting tomorrow. I want to discuss this project elaborately.” “Papa you are back!” An ecstatic Noor came running to the doorway. “Let me call you later… Hey, slow down!” Dev looked at his daughter amusingly. “How many times have I asked you not to hurry?” “Scold me later, now come, I’ve gotta show you something.” 

Impatient, she dragged him inside pulling his hand. Seeing his daughter’s excitement, Dev smiled inwardly. It still felt like a dream that he got the family he always dreamt of - him, Pari, Noor; all of them together! No matter how hectic his day was, every time he stepped inside his house and saw their smiling faces, his exhaustion would vanish with peace occupying its place.

“Look!” She showed him her new doll’s house. “Isn’t it pretty?” “It is. Who brought this here?” “Look closely Papa.” She said impatiently. “Wait, is it the same one that got broken last week?” “Yes! Pari fixed it.” “I should have guessed that,” Dev replied chuckling. “Explains why there are so many dolls.” “She has included our entire family here. This is us, that is Mausi and those are…” “Neel and Kaju.”

An awkward silence ensued as he gazed upon two particular figurines. Noor cursed under her breath. Even though she didn’t know the entire story, she was aware these two people shared a complicated history with her father. It always puzzled her. She could tell Dev loved them dearly yet the mere mention of them perturbed him greatly. That’s why she didn’t want to include them in the first place. But Pari being Pari didn’t pay any heed and made it a point to place them in the center of the house.

“And who is that supposed to be?” “That is…” Noor heaved a sigh in relief and continued introducing her dolls while Dev kept on looking, lost in his thought as the memories of a particular incident came flooding back... 

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I might be the textbook definition of how it feels like to be a contented man - a healthy and wealthy guy with a loving wife and an adorable kid. Having been associated with a lot of specially-abled people, time and again, I’ve marveled at their talent while also feeling grateful for being “NORMAL”. However, looking at those beautifully adorned dolls, I couldn’t decide who’s more fortunate - those of us who are blessed with a sound mind or people like Pari who know how to love truly and unconditionally despite their shortcomings?

Suddenly Neel and Kaju’s faces flashed before my eyes. It’s been a year since their separation. In this one year, not a single day has passed by when Pari didn’t lament regarding the same. Yet, every time someone talked about a complete family, she would always include her Neel Veere and Choti Dulhan in it. Perhaps because she’s unaware of the treacherous way of the heart. While here I stand, as a silent spectator to the heart-wrenching tale of two lovers who deserved better. How I wish I could go against everyone and force those two idiots to sort out their differences. Unfortunately, I can’t for I know why at times the burden imposed by our heartstrings becomes too heavy to let go. 

I still remember the day when I first met Kaju. As Neel continued to defend her, I looked into her eyes and realized apart from the visible guilt and shame, there was something else lurking behind those two pools of tears. Something so obvious that I almost prayed to be proven wrong. I didn’t want another Dev Shergill to perish under the expectations of an unwanted marriage. Little did I know, neither Kaju was me nor Neel was Chandni. With each passing day, I began to understand the reason behind her silence as I witnessed Neel’s devotion to her. 

The day I got married to Pari must have been the happiest day of my life. Unbeknownst to anyone else, another big reason behind my joy was Neel and Kaju accepted each other on the same day. A lot of people equate love to heartache. Not that I can blame them although I wish they knew when you find an understanding partner who chooses to stand by you no matter what, all that pain and suffering becomes worth it. I always knew in my heart that Neel was that partner for Kaju. So when they united, I felt everything was going to be okay. I couldn’t be more wrong.

Great love doesn’t always bring people closer. It also possesses the power to destroy everything. I understood it when Kaju refused to return to Neel despite his pleadings. For a moment there I lost my ability to comprehend what was happening. The same Kaju who tolerated every form of abuse just to bring a smile to Neel’s face finally gave up on him and turned away while I had to drag him outside. Maybe it was a reflex action of a sort that I did what was necessary but the truth is, I was equally thunderstruck as Neel. The happiness of getting Pari back died down and a strange numbness settled in until Kaju came to visit me. I had never seen her so broken before. She was trembling. Even in that condition, she requested me to look after Neel in her absence. That’s when I got my answer. 

If there was anything more painful than unrequited love, it would be the constant reminder that you aren’t worthy of your beloved. No amount of love or assurance can ever really compensate for that. If it could, would Pari’s mother insist me to leave her every time there was the slightest inconvenience? I knew how much Neel loved Kaju. And I wasn’t oblivious to how Kaju was simply inviting Neel’s doom by eliminating herself from his world. Nonetheless, I couldn’t bring myself to stop her from leaving. 

That night, I saw a different side of Kaju - a rather human side that was trying to protect herself. To a drowning person, it doesn’t make any difference whether a straw is passing by or a log. He’ll catch at it anyway. Kaju was doing the same. When her unwavering trust in Neel was shattered, all she was left with was emptiness. It was devouring her. Even if she had stayed, she would have had to spend the rest of her life wondering whether Neel truly loved her or was it just another cruel twist of fate for Neel to choose her out of regret and then suffer for the rest of his life. She couldn’t do that; neither to Neel nor to herself. Instead, she decided to keep his loving memories and part ways, giving him a chance to start over. 

Would you call me a terrible person if I said a part of me wished for her prayer to be answered? Yes, I wanted Neel to move on from Kaju and start afresh. That was the only way of setting her free. I tried to persuade myself saying just as I got a second chance at happiness with Pari, sooner or later, Kaju too would find her happiness with someone else. However, there was another part of me that wanted Neel to fight for her, to prove us wrong, to reinstate her faith, to make her realize that without Kaju, there would be no Neel.

And you know what? My wishes have been granted. I have seen how Neel managed to establish himself as well as exact revenge on those who had wronged him. And I’ve been a witness to the rise of Kajal Bhatt from the ashes. Yet here we stand, stuck at a crossroads as none of us know which path to choose. I guess that’s the price of rationality - we are so convinced by each other’s reasoning that we don’t dare to choose our hearts over our minds. Otherwise, could I have turned a blind eye to Neel and Kaju's heartache and let them be?

I know I have failed them. I regret that every single day. But I’m helpless. Call it a sinner’s justification or whatever you feel appropriate but the thing is no one ever had any power over them when it came to their love, the least of all me. Theirs is a tale where love bloomed against all adversities and only they could decide their fate. I can simply hope for some divine intervention or else another beautiful doll’s house will remain broken forever… 

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