Chapter 14
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CHAPTER 14
"Is it interesting?" Angad plopped down beside her.
"Mhmm…" She began to doze off to sleep. Angad pushed a strand of hair out of her face, awakening her. Her cheeks flushed red.
"Really?" Angad laughed quietly to himself, "You still blush in your sleep…Kripa," Her eyes opened, her mouth was relaxed but her eyes did all the smiling necessary for the moment. The happiness was evident in her eyes, it pained Angad to think of all she'd had to go through…alone. Kripa was a quiet, soft-spoken, intelligent, but sarcastic girl but she was notorious for her gullible dread of everything. It wasn't that she was afraid of everything it was the fact that she could easily be MADE afraid of something. Spiders, snakes, heights, fire, water…she never had a problem with any of those. It was being alone in the dark, before Angad had found it childishly unjustified, but he hadn't known then. She had good reasons for it. She feared strangers, though she was an eloquent speaker and owned the plane of public speaking, she was a born marketer. She could sell pesticide to a Buddhist. He smiled at the expression; his father had used it once. He found it quite lame but the Khannas did have a poor sense of humor. Hmm, he thought, must be hereditary.
"I DO NOT!" She got up instantaneously. She looked angry.
"Just kidding man, don't have a cow." She looked at him annoyed, Kripa looked as if she had just been insulted by her worst enemy. Angad wasn't sure if it was the fact whether he implied she was to give birth to a bovine or that he had just unknowingly called his girlfriend 'man.' Both pet peeves. "Not like you look like you're literally going to HAVE A COW but…"
She burst into laughter, "My goodness Angad, chill dude. I'm not all that horrendous." She was…when she was angry.
"Oh, I just had to tell you Aaliya's with the CID right now." Seriousness flew over her face as he revealed the entire story of that night to her. Soon enough, Kripa took Angad's hand and walked down the stairs, right past her father she went towards the door.
"Kripa, where did Angad come from?" Amit, Kripa's father asked. His face was that of an army sergeant about to attack. The thought flashed through his head. Oh damn, this guy was a sharp shooter. And he hates me, and me, the most hated man in this house randomly appeared out of his daughter's bedroom just now…Ab to definitely maara jayonga.
"He came to get me in my room. I'm going to meet Aaliya. It's important. I'll be home by tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Your room? Going to meet Aaliya? Did you not hear anything I said to you at the Khanna's house?" He asked anger reflecting in his old, gray eyes. Angad saw something there, tiredness maybe. Lost hope? Weakness, hurt…it was a mixture of different dimensions of pain.
"Papa, since when have you ever cared? I love Angad, he's not a stranger. You don't have to pretend to be concerned around him." Kripa spit out bitterly. Her harsh words pierced her father's heart in an instant, it could be seen. His eyes went from angry to just plain lonely.
"Love? What do you know about love? You still live in my house, I care...you follow my rules." Insecurity was audible through his tone. His eyes were misted from the result of all the daggers thrown at him by his own baby.
"I know what love is…of all people YOU shouldn't be talking about what love is Papa, we all know how highly that is thought of in your dictionary. I live in your house, but I'll pay you rent if you'd like. Better yet, I'll move." Kripa yelled, tears had just begun to brim the corners of her chocolate almond eyes.
"No need to move. Or pay rent. What happened between me and your mother is NOT public business." He glared at Angad.
"Daddy, I LOVE him!" Kripa yelled. Angad was uncomfortable in the amount of rudeness in Kripa's voice. She had never even used that tone with him, even when she "hated" him, she turned to leave, and Kripa's hold on his hand tightened. She turned around to look him in the eyes; he saw that same pain in her eyes: her father's pain. Just minutes ago, these eyes had been smiling at him, now the tears were back. He wondered what happened to Kripa's family, but Kripa would never tell him and he would never ask. He was okay with that. Angad just wished he could make it better.
"Don't leave me here." She pleaded in almost a whisper. Angad stepped in a little further. He glanced toward Amit; a blank hurt expression had come over him.
No matter how confident, how hateful, how sure she sounded she was always that same hurt, crying Kripa. Even her father knew that…the look on his face was a direct reflection of that. He was aware of what his daughter felt, but knowing he was helpless didn't facilitate.
Kripa's words were a basic overview of the discontent she held towards her family. He was helpless: he couldn't stop her from hating him; he couldn't say it wasn't his fault…because it was. All three knew that. Difference was, two of those people were clueless to the entire situation.
"Beta…" The word stung Kripa's heart. Amit sounded defeated and hopeless. He sighed, turned around and began to walk away, and yelled over his shoulder, "Go meet your family." Her family, the Khanna had always been a second home. But her father's words meant more to her than that, she felt like she had just been disowned. He might as well have disowned her, she thought, he walked away. Was he not her father? He was, he was supposed to yell at her and tell her she was out of line and…Tears spilled down Kripa's cheeks.
"Kripa…" Angad's voice was thin and shaky, not like Kripa had heard it ever before. There was a hint of something in his voice…unsurity? It was still gently and assuring. "Let's go…" He put his arm around her waist, he wanted so badly to hold her and tell her it was all going to be alright but he didn't know himself if it was. Hell, he didn't even know the problem.
They got to Angad's house; she greeted Naina and Dilip and said hi to Kartik. She went upstairs to Aaliya's room. She stood there for a moment; she wiped her tears and drew a deep breath. Angad watched her face closely, during the breath he could've sworn he heard her say "OM" but in an instant she appeared to be a normal, smiling Kripa. Angad was taken aback, all those days they had spent together, her childhood, her college days, her life… had he ever seen her TRULY happy? He wondered. She had expressive eyes, if you looked at them long and hard enough. They were almost always empty, that was what made her smile so beautiful…the fact she rarely ever did it and even more seldom was it real.
"Aaliya…" She smiled, walking in and hugging an ecstatic Aaliya. Aaliya, as always, was sitting on her bean bag chair reading Cosmo Girl! Sure the furniture in her room was cheap, but that was only because Aaliya was just that type of girl. She insisted on paying her way for everything. Price was never an issue, comfort was. She was a lover of money, only because she knew its value. She had worked since the age of 17, and hard work was her motto. Which was why she never got Angad's help on anything, though the middle child he was the spoilt brat of the house: lazy, careless, and insensitive…since he met Kripa that is.
"Kripa!!!!" She tightened her embrace. She pulled away and smiled at Kripa, looking into her eyes which forced her to frown. "What's wrong?" Aaliya asked. Kripa was falsely smiling but had he not been with her moments ago, he would have never known. Aaliya took one glance at her and detected something wrong, Angad felt a bit of envy and confusion towards his own sister.
"Woh Papa zara…nevermind. Angad told me what you did for me…with Prithvi…" She forced out the words. Kripa beamed genuinely with appreciation.
"Aww baby," Aaliya smoothed Kripa's hair, "It's nothing. You would do the same for me, nah?"
She nodded. Aaliya smirked, "You know why right???" She gave Angad a side-glance.
"Because we swore…" Aaliya threw her head back as Kripa joined her, "We pledged upon the cutest boy in 2nd grade: JOSH!!!" The both laughed as Angad looked at them in horror.
"Josh…?" Angad asked in a murmur. The two girls continued laughing. "Whoa, that's my best friend…Both of you have got boyfriends anyways. Besides Josh is a…"
"Man-whore!!!" Kripa and Aaliya yelled as Angad said out loud. He was confused. They both still laughed profusely.
"What?" Angad scratched his head. Angad thought of college, there were a clan of guys that were flirts they all hung out together. It was Josh, Ishaan, Kartik, and him…Josh wasn't even as bad as Angad was…so if they were calling Josh a man-whore that means they were calling him a…
"HEY!!!!!" Angad yelled, finally in epiphany. They continued to laugh. Eventually, they stopped laughing.
"But Aaliya, I seriously wanted to thank you…how did you fight like that anyways?" Kripa inquired.
"Tae Kwon Do owns, yo." Aaliya said. She felt pangs of regret come to her, after all she was partially responsible for the death of a person but then she would glance as Kripa's arm and feel it vanish, the slash mark on her wrist and the tiny needle dots near her brachial artery: they still angered her.
"Aali, you know I love you, right? I don't know how I'd survive without you." Kripa hugged her again.
"I know you love me more than you love that moron," Angad wasn't listening, "and we both wouldn't last a day without each other…so the feelings mutual." Angad REALLY wasn't listening so Aaliya continued, "I always wanted a sister but God gave me two older idiots, and Mom and Dad aren't having any more kids…"
"Thank God." Angad added while staring intently at the TV. He was listening. Aaliya brushed him off and continued.
"So I guess a bhabhi is just as good." Kripa blushed as Angad choked on air.
"Who said anything about marriage?" Angad turned around.
"You and Kripa…getting married duh bhai." Aaliya said obviously.
"You guys know I don't believe in marriage…" Angad pressed a button on his PSP as he turned back around. He made no eye contact.
"Since when?" Aaliya inquired. Aaliya being his younger sister, even she wasn't sure if he was serious of not. She hoped he was joking, she wasn't sure how much Kripa could take before her fragile soul cracked.
"Since always. Notice I've never mentioned getting married before. It's a waste of time, freedom and a perfectly good waste of MY life." He said absorbed in his videogame. Kripa sat wide-eyed.
"Of course. Why would anyone wanna get married? Who wants commitment anyways? I mean, where has it ever gotten anybody anyways? Almost all marriages end unsuccessfully, why add to the statistic?" Kripa leaned back in her chair, grabbing a magazine. The lack of sarcasm in her voice was scaring both Angad and Aaliya.
"Are you serious?" Angad turned around, wide-eyed.
"Yeah. I mean being in love and being married are different things. I don't think anybody can stay in love for that long anyway. It's momentary. People fall out of love with even more ease than they fell in…" Kripa flipped a page.
"No way, love lasts. If someone takes the time to make it last, that is." Angad argued.
"The effort has gotta be mutual though…which it usually isn't, so what's the point?" Kripa flipped another page. She wasn't really thinking of her words anymore, she was just letting them out without much due thought. Both Khannas present were unaware of this possible trait of hers. Angad was amazed at what was coming out of her mouth.
"There is a point. If you don't get married then you live in with the person you're in love with?" Angad raised an eyebrow, trying to predict her response. This wasn't Kripa, he thought, this was DEFINITELY not Kripa.
"That's where you're wrong, Angad," She put the magazine down, "You don't have to be with the one you love all the time. Often times, love goes unrequited anyways. There are other things in this world than love, other things are important too…"
"If you love someone then you want to be with them as much as possible, I mean you don't feel like leaving them. So people get married to stay with them…"
"Marriage is a contract to stay with that one person for the rest of your lives. It's 'till death do us part' baby. Sure you're with them, but what happens when you fall out of love with them…" Kripa asked. It bothered Angad that she said when and not if…she was so sure of each marriage's failure. The wrinkles in his forehead showed his frustration…Kripa laughed. "What happened to you? I thought you didn't believe in marriage?"
"I do. I thought…it would annoy you but you…" Angad was unsure on how to complete that statement.
"Are seriously against marriage?" Kripa laughed, "Life: You're on your own, I find the idea of depending on someone else a little ridiculous. Don't you?" He shrugged.
"C'mon Angad, it's nice in storybooks. But seriously? Don't tell me you seriously believe in that crap?" She laughed everything she said was completely parallel to normal Kripa. Aaliya wondered what was wrong with her.
"You'd rather spend your life alone, working than get married?" Angad said in disbelief.
"You must be in shock or something; you're getting a little redundant baby. I already said yes to this." Kripa laughed again. Angad stood confused, this girl who was sitting on that chair: so distant, so strange, so aloof; she couldn't be Kripa, first her behavior with her father and now this.
"Who are you?!" Angad said stepping back, sad thing was he was serious.
"Okay, this may not be routine Kripa but people can change, right?" She waited expectantly.
Aaliya looked at Kripa, searching for sobriety. She found none.
"Kripa…" she looked at her, disappointed. "Are you…high?"
"Aaliya…I'm just a little…" Aaliya looked in her eyes, or so Kripa thought. She was actually checking for dilated pupils. Aaliya looked at her with hurt in her eyes, Kripa was ashamed of herself.
"Aali I'm sorry. I found some in my purse when I got back from meeting Prithvi. He put it in there, I was gonna throw it away but…"
"You valued that more than us…" Angad looked at her surprised.
"Of course not…It's just…" Angad stared at her, his gaze was painful. "Angad, can you please leave me alone with my friend?" It hurt that he was nothing to her, and Aaliya meant more than he ever could. With another glance of disbelief, he left.
With his exit, Kripa collapsed on the bed. Sobbing, Aaliya held her.
"Kya hua Avvy?" Avvy, was short for Avantika, only Aaliya was allowed to call her that. She was the only one to think that Avantika was actually a beautiful name.
"Mama aur chutki ki barasi…aur Papa kaam pe the." She sniffled. Before Aaliya, Kripa's best friend had been her younger sister, Anamika.
"With who?" She asked, stroking her hair. Kripa lay in her lap.
"With that whore…" Kripa spat bitterly.
"When?" Aaliya asked.
"Yesterday…I really wanted to forget about them but it was yesterday…and…he didn't even care, he spent all day at work…he doesn't even acknowledge the fact that if it wasn't for him, they'd still be alive." Kripa sniffled.
"That's it?" Aaliya would shudder saying it but she knew that wasn't Kripa's sole reason for her unhappiness.
"And Angad…" Kripa's voice softened.
"Angad what?" Aaliya resumed patting her head, like a mother lulling her child to sleep.
"It was our 6-month anniversary that same day. He didn't remember but I didn't make a big deal about it but Aali…" She looked up. Aaliya looked down at her.
"He's so amazing. He loves me so much and I'm not even worth it. He deserves so much better. I look at him and realize how much pain I'm causing him."
"Chup Kripa, you know you're the best girl in the world for him. He's so happy when he's with you."
"Aali, he's happy when I'm happy but when I'm not? I can't pretend all the time."
"Shouldn't that be incentive for you to stay happy? You're worried when he's worried too, why do you want him to get all the happiness and you get all the sadness?"
"Because he deserves it…I try and stay happy, I really do. I smile, I laugh, I joke…but it doesn't work. I wish he'd find someone better than me and be happy." Kripa sighed.
"Why are you so bent on hurting yourself? He's happy with you! Dammit Kripa, both of you can be happy together. Why do you want to be alone?" Aaliya was losing her patience, it was a difficult task to accomplish but Kripa was managing to do it.
"Because I deserve it…" She mumbled.
"Shut up Kripa. I don't want that crap from you. These aren't your words, they're Prithvi's. Prithvi's dead, let his words die too would you?" Aaliya looked down at Kripa, Kripa got up out of Aaliya's lap. She looked at her.
"Kripa, THIS isn't you. Just be you. Bhai loves you. Angad's Kripa, not Prithvi's Kripa. Not weak Kripa, not non-marriage believing Kripa, not drugged Kripa…just Kripa Avantika Sharma. Okay?" Aaliya looked at her, nodding wanting a returning nod. Kripa nodded back. She took another deep breath, and wiped her tears and sat up straighter.
"Angad." Kripa said out loud, if she knew him well enough he would be standing outside the door with a cup to the wall. He came in with a device around his neck instead.
"Wow, you've upgraded to a stethoscope, now if you could improve your eavesdropping skills you could be the next Sherlock Holmes." Kripa laughed. Her eyes were still puffy and red but at least Angad knew what was wrong, not entirely, he thought but it was progress.
"Kripa Sharma, I love you." He kissed the top of Kripa's head and pulled her close to him. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his clear heartbeat.
"I love you too, Angad Khanna." She wondered how the Khannas were born with such comfort intuitive through them.
"Okay, okay, enough of that!" Aaliya cleared her throat. She grinned at them both.
"Sorry bhai, this time you seriously gotta leave cuz I gotta talk to Kripa, cool?" Angad shrugged and walked out of the door, closing it behind him. He stomped in place outside the door, to make it sound like he had left as he placed the stethoscope to the door.
Kripa, in the room, smiled at what her childish boyfriend would probably be doing. She went to the wall where Angad was positioned outside the door; she put her mouth to the wood and screamed "GO AWAY ANGAD!!!!" Angad jumped, she nearly blew his eardrum out. He really left this time but Kripa went to the door and checked anyways. She laughed as she sat down again beside Aaliya.
"Me and Nikhil…" Aaliya paused; Kripa looked down to her hand. Glimmering on her hand laid a gorgeous small heart-cut diamond.
"He proposed?!?!?!?" Kripa exclaimed.
"Shhh……" She smiled, and nodded.
"When?" Kripa said in a whisper, she leaned in farther.
"Yesterday night after I told Mama and Papa about Nikhil. I don't know why mugar Mama said 'That's great, beta' I'm really confused. Who should I tell? He said it's no hurry. We want to wait a couple of years, I mean. Not now. We're not prepared for marriage yet. Neither of us. He said he wants to have me before any dumb boy can convince my parents and snatch me up…" Aaliya gleamed.
"Oh God, Aaliya. This is so exciting! You're getting married. You're gonna leave me!" Kripa said ecstatic.
"I'll be a door away…" Aaliya said awaiting a response.
"Huh?" Kripa scratched her head.
"Nikhil is buying the house next to us. The one to the left, cuz you're on the right!"
Both girls screamed profusely and hugged.
"So you're gonna be Mrs. Aaliya Nikhil Arora…uh oh." It finally sank in. Oh, Arora. The press is going to be all over this, she could imagine it already.
"It's okay, it doesn't matter. He loves me and I love him. That's all that counts, right?" They nodded. Kripa was about to leave but stopped waiting for Aaliya. Aaliya waited a moment, about to take her ring off but left it on and went with Kripa. They went and sat at the dining table. Kripa noticed a limp in her walk.
"Hey…why are you limping…Don't tell me you and Nikhil already…" She shuddered at the thought of completing the sentence.
"No, I just uh..got hurt." She said pointing down to her ankle which was wrapped in white gauze, layers of it. Kripa smiled at it. She didn't get hurt, she thought. Aaliya looked back at her, questioning. "What?"
"So when did ya get it done?" Kripa smiled down at her ankle.
"Wednesday…" she replied mindlessly before looking up at her, "What are you talking about…?" She focused at Kripa's nose, not looking her in the eye.
"I gotta show you something later on." Kripa squeezed her hand. Angad came with Kartik at his heels and sat next to Dilip and Naina.
"So…" Kripa started serving the food. "The food looks really good, courtesy of mummyji." She smiled at her while serving, "And all of you better eat up cuz you need the energy." She laughed. "It takes a lot to keep this house crazy."
Angad laughed at her again. Dilip and Naina looked at Kripa admirably, everyone knew she was family. Aaliya noticed what Kripa was doing though. She was moving her foot up and down Angad's leg, causing him to choke on his dhaal-chawal.
"Kya hua Angad, yeh lo pani peelo." Kripa said in a sarcastically concerned voice, handing him water. He gulped it down glaring at her. He looked at her plate, empty. He frowned.
"Kripa, eat something. You've been hungry all day."
"I'm not hungry Angad, you go ahead. You know I'm really not in the mood, nah?" He nodded as she went in the room, leaving everyone at the table. Aaliya followed her.
"I thought you were okay?" said Aaliya angrily.
"I am. I'm just not hungry. Gosh woman. Chill." Kripa laughed, turning the tv on. She froze watching the news. She turned to Aaliya.
"So when did you get the tattoo?" Kripa asked excitedly.
"Tattoo? What tattoo?" She asked innocently.
"The one on your ankle that probably says something about Nikhil." Kripa said obviously, Aaliya blushed.
She took the gauze off, revealing an intricate heart with wings with the words "Nikhil & Aaliya 4ever" inscribed on it.
"Awwwww, it's so cute." She ran her fingers over it gently. "Looks like it's almost healed." She said knowingly.
"How do you know?" Aaliya asked curiously.
"I have two." She boasted. She turned around to display a thorn-like trail on her waist-line. Probably visible in low-rise jeans, Aaliya thought. But really who knew, Kripa never wore jeans anyways. She turned back around and pulled her dupatta away for a second to reveal a heart that read 'Angad' in bold cursive lettering deep beneath her collarbone. It was at a safe distance from her chest, but it was at the beginning of her breast.
Aaliya gasped, "When the heck did you get THAT done?"
"A while back." Kripa smiled.
"Why do you have my brother's name on your chest?! And since when…?" Aaliya exclaimed.
"Because I love him….and it's been there for years. I've always had a crush on him…or actually more than that. If it was just a crush, I wouldn't have his name tattooed on me."
"He's so damn slow. Everyone knew but him." Aaliya sighed. "Are you still fake Kripa?"
Kripa raised an eyebrow at her, "You mean, am I still high?" Kripa asked her so directly, it made Aaliya uncomfortable, she nodded gingerly.
"No, I'm not…" She hugged Aaliya. "Thank you." Angad walked into the room, watching his two favorite girls hugging.
"Why is it I always walk in on the chick moments?" Angad sighed.
"You should be glad. You know how much this chick loves you? I mean your name is on her body! For like…ever…Now she seriously can't get rid of you ever. Bechari Kripa."
"My name on her body? What are you talking bout? Kripa, what is she talking bout?" Angad said looking at Kripa and Aaliya back and forth. Kripa gave Aaliya a I'm-gonna-kill-you look and turned to Angad.
"I have your name tattooed on me, no big deal. Gosh Aaliya has Nikhil's name on her too."
"WHAT?!" Angad looked at her. Aaliya looked defensive.
"Hey, mine's on my ankle! At least it's where people can actually see it! Not like little Ms. Nasty!" Aaliya yelled looking at Kripa. Kripa squinted in anger at her.
"Where is yours Kripa?" Angad inquired mischievously.
She moved her dupatta and took her neckline far down enough to show the tattoo. She sighed while he looked in amazement.
"What else have you not told me? gawd Kripa!" Angad exclaimed. Kripa laughed at his overly-dramatic outbreak. Angad was known pretty well for those, that's what made him such a good actor. The fact was that she, the person who knew him best, often reciprocated.
"I have one on my lower back, near my butt, I have my bellybutton pierced and I am used to cursing very heavily. You got any confessions Angad?"
"Wow Kripa. I have a LOT of confessions. I'm not a very good boy, you see." He whispered seductively closing in on her.
"Yeah yeah, I know lover-boy." She pushed him away, onto the bed.
"Damn, Kripa…where's the sharmili, little Ms. Perfect Kripa I knew once upon a time?"
"She's still here, so what are your confessions?" Kripa looked at him curiously. Neither of them had noticed but Aaliya had left the room long ago.
"Well…I'm not a virgin." Angad sighed, stating the obvious.
"You don't say?" She gasped sarcastically.
"And…I've never done drugs or alcohol." He sighed, Kripa sighed too. She wished she could say the same.
"And…I still like pokemon? I don't know what else to say, you know everything about me Krips." Hmm, it was true. Their lives or at least his was an open book. She wished hers was as simple as his.
"Oh, I had like the biggest crush on you since we were in grade school. But it was weird cuz you were friends with Aaliya and Bhai liked you and all."
"Kartik liked me?" She said not believing, "He used to call me Little Ms. Down Market."
He laughed, "I know, that was my idea. He did like a lot…that's when you crack those you and Kartik jokes, I never know whether you're joking or not."
"Oh I am…" Kripa continued, "Your brother is madly in love with Tanya and your sister is head over heels in love with Nikhil and you…"
"And I?"
"And you aiight, you'll find someone that can tolerate you eventually." She brushed him off.
"And I love you!!!" Angad yelled.
"Aw, I know" Kripa kissed him on the cheek teasingly.
"Kripa, I have another confession too…" He gulped in fear.
"What is it?" Kripa said rubbing his back.
"I have a…I don't wanna lose you after telling you this."
"You have a what?"
"I have a terrible thing…"
"What? What's so terrible? A wife? A STD? *gasp* A SECOND MORTGAGE?!" Kripa exclaimed, her acting skills were a little over the top sometimes too.
"Stop kidding Kripa…I have a daughter…" He sighed, clenching his eyes shut.
"Okay Angad, that's REALLY not funny."
"Who are you telling?" Angad said matter-of-factly.
~PREVIEW: GASP! A daughter? Is this another one of Angad's not-so-funny jokes or is he serious? If he's not, does Kripa have something to match it? Will the jokes eventually bruise their relationship? Coming next: The engagement, a second wedding? And more on Kripa's family issues. Keep reading Pyar? My foot! (wow, I sound like a friggin marketing executive for a soap opera. Haha. You know da deal, comments=quicker parts! I need direction, give me 10 good comments and I'll continue ASAP. Kay? Someone PM me im so bored! I've got terrible writer's block! Please and Thank you :) ~Kiran
kIrAn...E>GA<3 39273.5029398148
"Is it interesting?" Angad plopped down beside her.
"Mhmm…" She began to doze off to sleep. Angad pushed a strand of hair out of her face, awakening her. Her cheeks flushed red.
"Really?" Angad laughed quietly to himself, "You still blush in your sleep…Kripa," Her eyes opened, her mouth was relaxed but her eyes did all the smiling necessary for the moment. The happiness was evident in her eyes, it pained Angad to think of all she'd had to go through…alone. Kripa was a quiet, soft-spoken, intelligent, but sarcastic girl but she was notorious for her gullible dread of everything. It wasn't that she was afraid of everything it was the fact that she could easily be MADE afraid of something. Spiders, snakes, heights, fire, water…she never had a problem with any of those. It was being alone in the dark, before Angad had found it childishly unjustified, but he hadn't known then. She had good reasons for it. She feared strangers, though she was an eloquent speaker and owned the plane of public speaking, she was a born marketer. She could sell pesticide to a Buddhist. He smiled at the expression; his father had used it once. He found it quite lame but the Khannas did have a poor sense of humor. Hmm, he thought, must be hereditary.
"I DO NOT!" She got up instantaneously. She looked angry.
"Just kidding man, don't have a cow." She looked at him annoyed, Kripa looked as if she had just been insulted by her worst enemy. Angad wasn't sure if it was the fact whether he implied she was to give birth to a bovine or that he had just unknowingly called his girlfriend 'man.' Both pet peeves. "Not like you look like you're literally going to HAVE A COW but…"
She burst into laughter, "My goodness Angad, chill dude. I'm not all that horrendous." She was…when she was angry.
"Oh, I just had to tell you Aaliya's with the CID right now." Seriousness flew over her face as he revealed the entire story of that night to her. Soon enough, Kripa took Angad's hand and walked down the stairs, right past her father she went towards the door.
"Kripa, where did Angad come from?" Amit, Kripa's father asked. His face was that of an army sergeant about to attack. The thought flashed through his head. Oh damn, this guy was a sharp shooter. And he hates me, and me, the most hated man in this house randomly appeared out of his daughter's bedroom just now…Ab to definitely maara jayonga.
"He came to get me in my room. I'm going to meet Aaliya. It's important. I'll be home by tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Your room? Going to meet Aaliya? Did you not hear anything I said to you at the Khanna's house?" He asked anger reflecting in his old, gray eyes. Angad saw something there, tiredness maybe. Lost hope? Weakness, hurt…it was a mixture of different dimensions of pain.
"Papa, since when have you ever cared? I love Angad, he's not a stranger. You don't have to pretend to be concerned around him." Kripa spit out bitterly. Her harsh words pierced her father's heart in an instant, it could be seen. His eyes went from angry to just plain lonely.
"Love? What do you know about love? You still live in my house, I care...you follow my rules." Insecurity was audible through his tone. His eyes were misted from the result of all the daggers thrown at him by his own baby.
"I know what love is…of all people YOU shouldn't be talking about what love is Papa, we all know how highly that is thought of in your dictionary. I live in your house, but I'll pay you rent if you'd like. Better yet, I'll move." Kripa yelled, tears had just begun to brim the corners of her chocolate almond eyes.
"No need to move. Or pay rent. What happened between me and your mother is NOT public business." He glared at Angad.
"Daddy, I LOVE him!" Kripa yelled. Angad was uncomfortable in the amount of rudeness in Kripa's voice. She had never even used that tone with him, even when she "hated" him, she turned to leave, and Kripa's hold on his hand tightened. She turned around to look him in the eyes; he saw that same pain in her eyes: her father's pain. Just minutes ago, these eyes had been smiling at him, now the tears were back. He wondered what happened to Kripa's family, but Kripa would never tell him and he would never ask. He was okay with that. Angad just wished he could make it better.
"Don't leave me here." She pleaded in almost a whisper. Angad stepped in a little further. He glanced toward Amit; a blank hurt expression had come over him.
No matter how confident, how hateful, how sure she sounded she was always that same hurt, crying Kripa. Even her father knew that…the look on his face was a direct reflection of that. He was aware of what his daughter felt, but knowing he was helpless didn't facilitate.
Kripa's words were a basic overview of the discontent she held towards her family. He was helpless: he couldn't stop her from hating him; he couldn't say it wasn't his fault…because it was. All three knew that. Difference was, two of those people were clueless to the entire situation.
"Beta…" The word stung Kripa's heart. Amit sounded defeated and hopeless. He sighed, turned around and began to walk away, and yelled over his shoulder, "Go meet your family." Her family, the Khanna had always been a second home. But her father's words meant more to her than that, she felt like she had just been disowned. He might as well have disowned her, she thought, he walked away. Was he not her father? He was, he was supposed to yell at her and tell her she was out of line and…Tears spilled down Kripa's cheeks.
"Kripa…" Angad's voice was thin and shaky, not like Kripa had heard it ever before. There was a hint of something in his voice…unsurity? It was still gently and assuring. "Let's go…" He put his arm around her waist, he wanted so badly to hold her and tell her it was all going to be alright but he didn't know himself if it was. Hell, he didn't even know the problem.
They got to Angad's house; she greeted Naina and Dilip and said hi to Kartik. She went upstairs to Aaliya's room. She stood there for a moment; she wiped her tears and drew a deep breath. Angad watched her face closely, during the breath he could've sworn he heard her say "OM" but in an instant she appeared to be a normal, smiling Kripa. Angad was taken aback, all those days they had spent together, her childhood, her college days, her life… had he ever seen her TRULY happy? He wondered. She had expressive eyes, if you looked at them long and hard enough. They were almost always empty, that was what made her smile so beautiful…the fact she rarely ever did it and even more seldom was it real.
"Aaliya…" She smiled, walking in and hugging an ecstatic Aaliya. Aaliya, as always, was sitting on her bean bag chair reading Cosmo Girl! Sure the furniture in her room was cheap, but that was only because Aaliya was just that type of girl. She insisted on paying her way for everything. Price was never an issue, comfort was. She was a lover of money, only because she knew its value. She had worked since the age of 17, and hard work was her motto. Which was why she never got Angad's help on anything, though the middle child he was the spoilt brat of the house: lazy, careless, and insensitive…since he met Kripa that is.
"Kripa!!!!" She tightened her embrace. She pulled away and smiled at Kripa, looking into her eyes which forced her to frown. "What's wrong?" Aaliya asked. Kripa was falsely smiling but had he not been with her moments ago, he would have never known. Aaliya took one glance at her and detected something wrong, Angad felt a bit of envy and confusion towards his own sister.
"Woh Papa zara…nevermind. Angad told me what you did for me…with Prithvi…" She forced out the words. Kripa beamed genuinely with appreciation.
"Aww baby," Aaliya smoothed Kripa's hair, "It's nothing. You would do the same for me, nah?"
She nodded. Aaliya smirked, "You know why right???" She gave Angad a side-glance.
"Because we swore…" Aaliya threw her head back as Kripa joined her, "We pledged upon the cutest boy in 2nd grade: JOSH!!!" The both laughed as Angad looked at them in horror.
"Josh…?" Angad asked in a murmur. The two girls continued laughing. "Whoa, that's my best friend…Both of you have got boyfriends anyways. Besides Josh is a…"
"Man-whore!!!" Kripa and Aaliya yelled as Angad said out loud. He was confused. They both still laughed profusely.
"What?" Angad scratched his head. Angad thought of college, there were a clan of guys that were flirts they all hung out together. It was Josh, Ishaan, Kartik, and him…Josh wasn't even as bad as Angad was…so if they were calling Josh a man-whore that means they were calling him a…
"HEY!!!!!" Angad yelled, finally in epiphany. They continued to laugh. Eventually, they stopped laughing.
"But Aaliya, I seriously wanted to thank you…how did you fight like that anyways?" Kripa inquired.
"Tae Kwon Do owns, yo." Aaliya said. She felt pangs of regret come to her, after all she was partially responsible for the death of a person but then she would glance as Kripa's arm and feel it vanish, the slash mark on her wrist and the tiny needle dots near her brachial artery: they still angered her.
"Aali, you know I love you, right? I don't know how I'd survive without you." Kripa hugged her again.
"I know you love me more than you love that moron," Angad wasn't listening, "and we both wouldn't last a day without each other…so the feelings mutual." Angad REALLY wasn't listening so Aaliya continued, "I always wanted a sister but God gave me two older idiots, and Mom and Dad aren't having any more kids…"
"Thank God." Angad added while staring intently at the TV. He was listening. Aaliya brushed him off and continued.
"So I guess a bhabhi is just as good." Kripa blushed as Angad choked on air.
"Who said anything about marriage?" Angad turned around.
"You and Kripa…getting married duh bhai." Aaliya said obviously.
"You guys know I don't believe in marriage…" Angad pressed a button on his PSP as he turned back around. He made no eye contact.
"Since when?" Aaliya inquired. Aaliya being his younger sister, even she wasn't sure if he was serious of not. She hoped he was joking, she wasn't sure how much Kripa could take before her fragile soul cracked.
"Since always. Notice I've never mentioned getting married before. It's a waste of time, freedom and a perfectly good waste of MY life." He said absorbed in his videogame. Kripa sat wide-eyed.
"Of course. Why would anyone wanna get married? Who wants commitment anyways? I mean, where has it ever gotten anybody anyways? Almost all marriages end unsuccessfully, why add to the statistic?" Kripa leaned back in her chair, grabbing a magazine. The lack of sarcasm in her voice was scaring both Angad and Aaliya.
"Are you serious?" Angad turned around, wide-eyed.
"Yeah. I mean being in love and being married are different things. I don't think anybody can stay in love for that long anyway. It's momentary. People fall out of love with even more ease than they fell in…" Kripa flipped a page.
"No way, love lasts. If someone takes the time to make it last, that is." Angad argued.
"The effort has gotta be mutual though…which it usually isn't, so what's the point?" Kripa flipped another page. She wasn't really thinking of her words anymore, she was just letting them out without much due thought. Both Khannas present were unaware of this possible trait of hers. Angad was amazed at what was coming out of her mouth.
"There is a point. If you don't get married then you live in with the person you're in love with?" Angad raised an eyebrow, trying to predict her response. This wasn't Kripa, he thought, this was DEFINITELY not Kripa.
"That's where you're wrong, Angad," She put the magazine down, "You don't have to be with the one you love all the time. Often times, love goes unrequited anyways. There are other things in this world than love, other things are important too…"
"If you love someone then you want to be with them as much as possible, I mean you don't feel like leaving them. So people get married to stay with them…"
"Marriage is a contract to stay with that one person for the rest of your lives. It's 'till death do us part' baby. Sure you're with them, but what happens when you fall out of love with them…" Kripa asked. It bothered Angad that she said when and not if…she was so sure of each marriage's failure. The wrinkles in his forehead showed his frustration…Kripa laughed. "What happened to you? I thought you didn't believe in marriage?"
"I do. I thought…it would annoy you but you…" Angad was unsure on how to complete that statement.
"Are seriously against marriage?" Kripa laughed, "Life: You're on your own, I find the idea of depending on someone else a little ridiculous. Don't you?" He shrugged.
"C'mon Angad, it's nice in storybooks. But seriously? Don't tell me you seriously believe in that crap?" She laughed everything she said was completely parallel to normal Kripa. Aaliya wondered what was wrong with her.
"You'd rather spend your life alone, working than get married?" Angad said in disbelief.
"You must be in shock or something; you're getting a little redundant baby. I already said yes to this." Kripa laughed again. Angad stood confused, this girl who was sitting on that chair: so distant, so strange, so aloof; she couldn't be Kripa, first her behavior with her father and now this.
"Who are you?!" Angad said stepping back, sad thing was he was serious.
"Okay, this may not be routine Kripa but people can change, right?" She waited expectantly.
Aaliya looked at Kripa, searching for sobriety. She found none.
"Kripa…" she looked at her, disappointed. "Are you…high?"
"Aaliya…I'm just a little…" Aaliya looked in her eyes, or so Kripa thought. She was actually checking for dilated pupils. Aaliya looked at her with hurt in her eyes, Kripa was ashamed of herself.
"Aali I'm sorry. I found some in my purse when I got back from meeting Prithvi. He put it in there, I was gonna throw it away but…"
"You valued that more than us…" Angad looked at her surprised.
"Of course not…It's just…" Angad stared at her, his gaze was painful. "Angad, can you please leave me alone with my friend?" It hurt that he was nothing to her, and Aaliya meant more than he ever could. With another glance of disbelief, he left.
With his exit, Kripa collapsed on the bed. Sobbing, Aaliya held her.
"Kya hua Avvy?" Avvy, was short for Avantika, only Aaliya was allowed to call her that. She was the only one to think that Avantika was actually a beautiful name.
"Mama aur chutki ki barasi…aur Papa kaam pe the." She sniffled. Before Aaliya, Kripa's best friend had been her younger sister, Anamika.
"With who?" She asked, stroking her hair. Kripa lay in her lap.
"With that whore…" Kripa spat bitterly.
"When?" Aaliya asked.
"Yesterday…I really wanted to forget about them but it was yesterday…and…he didn't even care, he spent all day at work…he doesn't even acknowledge the fact that if it wasn't for him, they'd still be alive." Kripa sniffled.
"That's it?" Aaliya would shudder saying it but she knew that wasn't Kripa's sole reason for her unhappiness.
"And Angad…" Kripa's voice softened.
"Angad what?" Aaliya resumed patting her head, like a mother lulling her child to sleep.
"It was our 6-month anniversary that same day. He didn't remember but I didn't make a big deal about it but Aali…" She looked up. Aaliya looked down at her.
"He's so amazing. He loves me so much and I'm not even worth it. He deserves so much better. I look at him and realize how much pain I'm causing him."
"Chup Kripa, you know you're the best girl in the world for him. He's so happy when he's with you."
"Aali, he's happy when I'm happy but when I'm not? I can't pretend all the time."
"Shouldn't that be incentive for you to stay happy? You're worried when he's worried too, why do you want him to get all the happiness and you get all the sadness?"
"Because he deserves it…I try and stay happy, I really do. I smile, I laugh, I joke…but it doesn't work. I wish he'd find someone better than me and be happy." Kripa sighed.
"Why are you so bent on hurting yourself? He's happy with you! Dammit Kripa, both of you can be happy together. Why do you want to be alone?" Aaliya was losing her patience, it was a difficult task to accomplish but Kripa was managing to do it.
"Because I deserve it…" She mumbled.
"Shut up Kripa. I don't want that crap from you. These aren't your words, they're Prithvi's. Prithvi's dead, let his words die too would you?" Aaliya looked down at Kripa, Kripa got up out of Aaliya's lap. She looked at her.
"Kripa, THIS isn't you. Just be you. Bhai loves you. Angad's Kripa, not Prithvi's Kripa. Not weak Kripa, not non-marriage believing Kripa, not drugged Kripa…just Kripa Avantika Sharma. Okay?" Aaliya looked at her, nodding wanting a returning nod. Kripa nodded back. She took another deep breath, and wiped her tears and sat up straighter.
"Angad." Kripa said out loud, if she knew him well enough he would be standing outside the door with a cup to the wall. He came in with a device around his neck instead.
"Wow, you've upgraded to a stethoscope, now if you could improve your eavesdropping skills you could be the next Sherlock Holmes." Kripa laughed. Her eyes were still puffy and red but at least Angad knew what was wrong, not entirely, he thought but it was progress.
"Kripa Sharma, I love you." He kissed the top of Kripa's head and pulled her close to him. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his clear heartbeat.
"I love you too, Angad Khanna." She wondered how the Khannas were born with such comfort intuitive through them.
"Okay, okay, enough of that!" Aaliya cleared her throat. She grinned at them both.
"Sorry bhai, this time you seriously gotta leave cuz I gotta talk to Kripa, cool?" Angad shrugged and walked out of the door, closing it behind him. He stomped in place outside the door, to make it sound like he had left as he placed the stethoscope to the door.
Kripa, in the room, smiled at what her childish boyfriend would probably be doing. She went to the wall where Angad was positioned outside the door; she put her mouth to the wood and screamed "GO AWAY ANGAD!!!!" Angad jumped, she nearly blew his eardrum out. He really left this time but Kripa went to the door and checked anyways. She laughed as she sat down again beside Aaliya.
"Me and Nikhil…" Aaliya paused; Kripa looked down to her hand. Glimmering on her hand laid a gorgeous small heart-cut diamond.
"He proposed?!?!?!?" Kripa exclaimed.
"Shhh……" She smiled, and nodded.
"When?" Kripa said in a whisper, she leaned in farther.
"Yesterday night after I told Mama and Papa about Nikhil. I don't know why mugar Mama said 'That's great, beta' I'm really confused. Who should I tell? He said it's no hurry. We want to wait a couple of years, I mean. Not now. We're not prepared for marriage yet. Neither of us. He said he wants to have me before any dumb boy can convince my parents and snatch me up…" Aaliya gleamed.
"Oh God, Aaliya. This is so exciting! You're getting married. You're gonna leave me!" Kripa said ecstatic.
"I'll be a door away…" Aaliya said awaiting a response.
"Huh?" Kripa scratched her head.
"Nikhil is buying the house next to us. The one to the left, cuz you're on the right!"
Both girls screamed profusely and hugged.
"So you're gonna be Mrs. Aaliya Nikhil Arora…uh oh." It finally sank in. Oh, Arora. The press is going to be all over this, she could imagine it already.
"It's okay, it doesn't matter. He loves me and I love him. That's all that counts, right?" They nodded. Kripa was about to leave but stopped waiting for Aaliya. Aaliya waited a moment, about to take her ring off but left it on and went with Kripa. They went and sat at the dining table. Kripa noticed a limp in her walk.
"Hey…why are you limping…Don't tell me you and Nikhil already…" She shuddered at the thought of completing the sentence.
"No, I just uh..got hurt." She said pointing down to her ankle which was wrapped in white gauze, layers of it. Kripa smiled at it. She didn't get hurt, she thought. Aaliya looked back at her, questioning. "What?"
"So when did ya get it done?" Kripa smiled down at her ankle.
"Wednesday…" she replied mindlessly before looking up at her, "What are you talking about…?" She focused at Kripa's nose, not looking her in the eye.
"I gotta show you something later on." Kripa squeezed her hand. Angad came with Kartik at his heels and sat next to Dilip and Naina.
"So…" Kripa started serving the food. "The food looks really good, courtesy of mummyji." She smiled at her while serving, "And all of you better eat up cuz you need the energy." She laughed. "It takes a lot to keep this house crazy."
Angad laughed at her again. Dilip and Naina looked at Kripa admirably, everyone knew she was family. Aaliya noticed what Kripa was doing though. She was moving her foot up and down Angad's leg, causing him to choke on his dhaal-chawal.
"Kya hua Angad, yeh lo pani peelo." Kripa said in a sarcastically concerned voice, handing him water. He gulped it down glaring at her. He looked at her plate, empty. He frowned.
"Kripa, eat something. You've been hungry all day."
"I'm not hungry Angad, you go ahead. You know I'm really not in the mood, nah?" He nodded as she went in the room, leaving everyone at the table. Aaliya followed her.
"I thought you were okay?" said Aaliya angrily.
"I am. I'm just not hungry. Gosh woman. Chill." Kripa laughed, turning the tv on. She froze watching the news. She turned to Aaliya.
"So when did you get the tattoo?" Kripa asked excitedly.
"Tattoo? What tattoo?" She asked innocently.
"The one on your ankle that probably says something about Nikhil." Kripa said obviously, Aaliya blushed.
She took the gauze off, revealing an intricate heart with wings with the words "Nikhil & Aaliya 4ever" inscribed on it.
"Awwwww, it's so cute." She ran her fingers over it gently. "Looks like it's almost healed." She said knowingly.
"How do you know?" Aaliya asked curiously.
"I have two." She boasted. She turned around to display a thorn-like trail on her waist-line. Probably visible in low-rise jeans, Aaliya thought. But really who knew, Kripa never wore jeans anyways. She turned back around and pulled her dupatta away for a second to reveal a heart that read 'Angad' in bold cursive lettering deep beneath her collarbone. It was at a safe distance from her chest, but it was at the beginning of her breast.
Aaliya gasped, "When the heck did you get THAT done?"
"A while back." Kripa smiled.
"Why do you have my brother's name on your chest?! And since when…?" Aaliya exclaimed.
"Because I love him….and it's been there for years. I've always had a crush on him…or actually more than that. If it was just a crush, I wouldn't have his name tattooed on me."
"He's so damn slow. Everyone knew but him." Aaliya sighed. "Are you still fake Kripa?"
Kripa raised an eyebrow at her, "You mean, am I still high?" Kripa asked her so directly, it made Aaliya uncomfortable, she nodded gingerly.
"No, I'm not…" She hugged Aaliya. "Thank you." Angad walked into the room, watching his two favorite girls hugging.
"Why is it I always walk in on the chick moments?" Angad sighed.
"You should be glad. You know how much this chick loves you? I mean your name is on her body! For like…ever…Now she seriously can't get rid of you ever. Bechari Kripa."
"My name on her body? What are you talking bout? Kripa, what is she talking bout?" Angad said looking at Kripa and Aaliya back and forth. Kripa gave Aaliya a I'm-gonna-kill-you look and turned to Angad.
"I have your name tattooed on me, no big deal. Gosh Aaliya has Nikhil's name on her too."
"WHAT?!" Angad looked at her. Aaliya looked defensive.
"Hey, mine's on my ankle! At least it's where people can actually see it! Not like little Ms. Nasty!" Aaliya yelled looking at Kripa. Kripa squinted in anger at her.
"Where is yours Kripa?" Angad inquired mischievously.
She moved her dupatta and took her neckline far down enough to show the tattoo. She sighed while he looked in amazement.
"What else have you not told me? gawd Kripa!" Angad exclaimed. Kripa laughed at his overly-dramatic outbreak. Angad was known pretty well for those, that's what made him such a good actor. The fact was that she, the person who knew him best, often reciprocated.
"I have one on my lower back, near my butt, I have my bellybutton pierced and I am used to cursing very heavily. You got any confessions Angad?"
"Wow Kripa. I have a LOT of confessions. I'm not a very good boy, you see." He whispered seductively closing in on her.
"Yeah yeah, I know lover-boy." She pushed him away, onto the bed.
"Damn, Kripa…where's the sharmili, little Ms. Perfect Kripa I knew once upon a time?"
"She's still here, so what are your confessions?" Kripa looked at him curiously. Neither of them had noticed but Aaliya had left the room long ago.
"Well…I'm not a virgin." Angad sighed, stating the obvious.
"You don't say?" She gasped sarcastically.
"And…I've never done drugs or alcohol." He sighed, Kripa sighed too. She wished she could say the same.
"And…I still like pokemon? I don't know what else to say, you know everything about me Krips." Hmm, it was true. Their lives or at least his was an open book. She wished hers was as simple as his.
"Oh, I had like the biggest crush on you since we were in grade school. But it was weird cuz you were friends with Aaliya and Bhai liked you and all."
"Kartik liked me?" She said not believing, "He used to call me Little Ms. Down Market."
He laughed, "I know, that was my idea. He did like a lot…that's when you crack those you and Kartik jokes, I never know whether you're joking or not."
"Oh I am…" Kripa continued, "Your brother is madly in love with Tanya and your sister is head over heels in love with Nikhil and you…"
"And I?"
"And you aiight, you'll find someone that can tolerate you eventually." She brushed him off.
"And I love you!!!" Angad yelled.
"Aw, I know" Kripa kissed him on the cheek teasingly.
"Kripa, I have another confession too…" He gulped in fear.
"What is it?" Kripa said rubbing his back.
"I have a…I don't wanna lose you after telling you this."
"You have a what?"
"I have a terrible thing…"
"What? What's so terrible? A wife? A STD? *gasp* A SECOND MORTGAGE?!" Kripa exclaimed, her acting skills were a little over the top sometimes too.
"Stop kidding Kripa…I have a daughter…" He sighed, clenching his eyes shut.
"Okay Angad, that's REALLY not funny."
"Who are you telling?" Angad said matter-of-factly.
~PREVIEW: GASP! A daughter? Is this another one of Angad's not-so-funny jokes or is he serious? If he's not, does Kripa have something to match it? Will the jokes eventually bruise their relationship? Coming next: The engagement, a second wedding? And more on Kripa's family issues. Keep reading Pyar? My foot! (wow, I sound like a friggin marketing executive for a soap opera. Haha. You know da deal, comments=quicker parts! I need direction, give me 10 good comments and I'll continue ASAP. Kay? Someone PM me im so bored! I've got terrible writer's block! Please and Thank you :) ~Kiran
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