His Broken Nest And A Story Of Heartbreak

His Broken Nest And A Story Of Heartbreak

How well do we know ourselves? Looking at the family portrait of a contented man whose shell of a person I have become, I felt the question has never been more obvious. Three pairs of eyes that stared back at me filled my heart with an inexplicable warmth yet the urge to break the frame to pieces became too hard to suppress. When did I become such a vengeful person? Or was I always like that? Is it simply because of the convenience of my ways or something else that I never had to face my inner darkness before?  

I still remember the first time I met Chhavi. The spark in her big hazel eyes was the first thing that caught my notice. She was hesitant; an awkward silence prevailed between us, but there was something different about her. Something mysterious that I fell for her instantly. Twenty-five years of marriage and never had I felt differently until I found her screaming at Kaju, blaming Pallavi for ruining her life as I felt my world crumbling around me. 

We never had that typical filmy romance between us. Hailing from a traditional family, I had only experienced love in its domestic form. Together we built our small nest and when Bhoomi was born, I felt Mahadev blessed me with everything I had wished for. Perhaps that’s why it took me so long to realize that the love I had always seen in her eyes was for someone else. 

I am not sure what hurts more - the fact that I could not be the partner my wife could confide in with anything or the awareness of how I failed to take Surya’s place in her life despite giving my all to our relationship. The only thing I’m certain about is she shouldn’t have passed down her jealousy to our daughter. 

I know it’s not fair to blame Chhavi for Bhoomi’s downfall. I’m equally responsible for spoiling our child with too much pampering. Otherwise, how did the famous social worker Satyakam Rawat’s only daughter grow up to be an ungrateful, insensitive brat? But I guess my wounded male ego overpowered the concerned father in me and instead of rebuking Bhoomi, I proceeded with punishing Chhavi by pinning the entire blame on her upbringing and walked out on them. 

Funny, isn’t it? That at my core I was a typical chauvinistic guy who couldn’t bear to accept someone else as the love of his wife’s life. And the easiest way to cloak that ugliness was to wear a mask of progressiveness as I did when I chose to support Kaju over Bhoomi, ignoring Chhavi’s pleadings. But if that’s all there is, why does it hurt so much when I see Chhavi in pain? How did I end up at Pallavi’s doorstep, looking for some justification as to why all of our lives got entangled this way? 

A wry smile appeared on my face recalling how a chance encounter with Neel that day saved me from a lifetime of embarrassment while I took my steps backward. Kaju would often say she didn’t love Neel simply because he was her husband; she worshipped him for his pure heart and helpful nature, and it didn’t make any difference whether they were together or apart. At times I felt pity for her whereas the rest of the time I felt enraged, believing she was living in a delusion and wasting her life the same way I did until Neel changed my perspective ones and for all. His devotion towards Kaju made me realize why did she love him so much. 

I’ve seen Jaydeep Ji’s remorse for ruining Neel’s life and I have been a witness to Pallavi’s apprehension regarding Kaju’s choices. Nevertheless, I know it in my heart that one day they’ll reunite. And it’s because of their love and unwavering faith in each other that I the courage to be hopeful again. I wish… I genuinely wish Surya returned someday so that Pallavi and Chhavi got some closure. An idiot, a wannabe martyr or a condescending son of a bitch - call me whatever you want. But before I close my eyes forever, I want to see her genuine smile. I want her to be free from her lifelong burdens and find happiness. Who knows, maybe that’ll finally teach Bhoomi the importance of love and sacrifice. Until then, I guess I’m stuck with this beautiful mirage of a perfect family that I used to consider my reality once upon a time…

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