Chapter 10

10

After rehearsals that day, Kripa walked towards her car, got in, and turned the ignition on. To her surprise, it refused to start. After a few tries, she got out and opened up the see the engine. Not understanding what was wrong with it, she closed it and took her cell phone out. "Pick up the damn phone Simon!!" When he didnt, she hung up and leaned against the door and closed her eyes. "Need a ride?" She opened her eyes and looked at Angad sitting in his car. "No.." She shrugged her shoulders and opened the door to get in. "Its late..get in the car." Angry, she turned around to face him.

"Why are you doing this Angad?"

"Doing what?"

"This. First you insult me in front of everyone and then you come here and be all nice and.."

"And why is that surprising? Just coz you dont have the ability to do anything nice doesnt mean that anyone in this world cant be nice to you."

"If I wasnt nice Angad, I would have told you..." She stopped. "Just go away Angad. I dont want this to turn out ugly. I think I've had enough."

Angad smirked when she turned around, angry. "Whatever Kripa..theres just somethings in life that dont change. I thought you would after everything you caused. I guess not." She turned around again. "I caused? What did I cause Angad? Were you not cheating on Chandni when she was alive? She loved you so much that she didnt even believe me when I told her the truth. And you? All you can do is freakin blame me for what happened?"

"I lost her Kripa and just because you had to go tell her everything!"

"No, you lost her because you failed to be honest with her. How insensitive are you Angad? First you cheat on her by sleeping with me. Then you still hang on to her like she means nothing to you. If you loved her so much why did you ever sleep with me?"

"That was a big mistake!" That hurt. Mistake huh? She never saw it that way. She knew that somewhere deep inside Angad was special to her. No matter what had happened, she had never been mad at him or blamed him for anything. Yet, everytime they talked of their past, Angad expressed his regret. His mistakes! Why? Why couldnt he be happy about whatever did happen between them. Was he not happy about it?

"Mistake. I guess thats what you call it. A big mistake, Angad! well, I'm really sorry you feel that way about it. I just hope that the next time you find your true love, you dont lose her over a big mistake!" Kripa heard a car honk behind her and when she turned around, she saw Simon in it. He just stayed there, with this curious look in his eyes. "Goodbye Angad! I hope you get what you want." She turned around, grabbed her bag from her car and then got into Simon's car as they drove off.

Angad just watched them leave and then leaned back on his seat with frustration. Mistake? Did he really mean that? He didnt know. When it all happened, he didnt think it was a mistake. He knew he wanted it as much as she did. If he didnt then he would have stopped it. He could have. He did that to other girls who had been in love with him. He just let them leave because he wasnt ready to commit. But why did it take him so long to get over something that Kripa had clearly moved on from? He kept wondering. He had told Kripa his feelings a million times and yet she never told him how she felt.

She knew that he wasnt over her. Maybe thats why he was angry. At himself, at her. But at the same time, Kripa never shared what she had been through in the past 10 years. Was it easier for her? Was it harder? He never knew. Maybe thats where he was being unfair. She was the one who had the abortion done. She was the one with the physical pain. Then how come she had never told him what had happened in the past 10 years. He never asked, he thought. was he wrong? Perhaps, he was. Maybe he should have. Maybe he would. Only if he could muster the courage to apologize to her first.

Kripa just sat quietly as Simon drove her home. He didnt know what to say. She obviously look hurt and angry. Finally he took a deep breath and looked at her. "Kripa..why are you so upset?"

"I'm not upset." She said in the most calm ways. He knew she was lying. He pulled over by the side and turned down the music. "Ok. Tell me whats happening."

"What?" She looked at him like nothing was wrong. "Come on Kripa. I've pushed this enough. I never asked you why Angad was mad at you because I thought that maybe you would tell me. But you didnt and obviously you dont intend to!"

"If theres anything worth saying, I will tell you Simon."

"Oh? Worth telling me? My best friend and my own girlfriend hate each other. My best friend blames my girlfriend for "killing" his girlfriend. My girlfriend thinks that my best friend is a jerk and is out to insult her. And just a few minutes ago, I saw them almost eating each other out. Now that sounds like something worth me to me! Why is it, Kripa, that you dont?"

" Simon youre blowing this way out of proportion. All I need to say is that Angad and I dont get along. Thats all that matters now doesnt it?"

"No! Because I dont want to be in a position where I have to choose between my best friend who's been with me for the past 3 years and my own girlfriend who I've seem to have fallen in love with in the past 3 weeks! I dont wanna be that person, Kripa!"

"Wait..what did you say?"

"What?"

"What did you say just now?"

"That I dont want to be in a position where I have to choose between..."

"No! Before that!" Simon paused for a second to think. "That I've fallen in love with you..." She paused and felt like the whole world had stopped with her. "Simon I..."

"Never mind Kripa. I dont wanna repeat it and get hurt." He just looked away and started to drive again. Kripa turned away to her window and swallowed the words she was about to say. This was all getting out of hand. Angad was frustrating her. Simon didnt understand what she was going through and no matter what she did, she couldnt explain it to him. Yes, she had to tell Simon the truth one day. But atleast she wasnt the one who cheated on him because whatever happened between Angad and her was before she got together with Simon. She breathed heavier as Simon parked right in front of her house.

"Youre home." He said in the most disinterested tone. She got out and then leaned towards the window. "Call me?" He didnt look towards her. "Good night Kripa. Get a good night sleep. You have a long day tomorrow." That was a no, she knew. She nodded and then watched him drive off.

Kripa turned the lights on and then slowly walked up the stairs when she heard her door bell ring. With a smile on her face, she ran to the door, expecting Simon. When she opened it, however, she was shocked. "Angad?" She stood there so surprised that she didnt know what else to say.

"Can I come in Kripa? I need to talk to you.." She just stared at him like she didnt understand one word that was coming out of his mouth.