Chapter 31

Hello guysssss

I am back withthe Update – like Super Long 14k.

AND THIS IS ADHAMAKA UPDATE!!!

Just trust meon this and Dive in without further delay.

Love is arollercoaster ride – no one ever said – it would be easy – but they all saythat its worth it!!!

Okkk seat beltOn Guys – Because I know this is an Unexpected Twist !!!

AND GUYS PLEASE IGNORE THE SPACING ERROS THEYV COME BY DEFAULT AS I INSERTED THE WORK.

………………………

CHAPTER 30 – STORMED INTO - THE ‘BERMUDA’ TRIANGLE

Eighteen DaysLater

15thDecember – Saturday

Arnav’s POV

New Delhi – 9:30 PM

I cant stop laughing.

I literally cannotstop laughing now.

For My Sunshine cracksme up on another levels.

Ok Guysssssssssss.

Shes literallydancing over her bed in like the most crazy quirky and fun manner and she’sjumping up and down and acting like as if she has a imaginary guitar in herhand that she is playing.

And I even though I amon the Video Call and litearlly technically half across the world from her – I canfeel The Happy Vibe!!

And its because herCA result came out online about seven minutes ago and ofcourse she’s ACED IT.

SHE’S OFFICIALY A CHARTEREDACCOUNTANT NOW.

GODDDDDDDDDDD.

I AMMMM SOOOOO HAPPPYFOR HERRRRR.

SHES WORKED SO HARDFOR THIS.

I KNOW.

I KNOW IT ALL.

BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN IT.

So the time for the declarationof the result was something that Khushi got to know this morning – that it hadbeen pushed to the evening and she’d requested me if I could be with her onlineon the video call while she saw it, as she would get home early from her BigBus schedule today – well she didn’t even have to ask actually.

I had decided in myhead that I was going to be with her on the Video Call at that time anyway.

She’s stillcontinuing with her Happy Dance on the bed, and my heart warms up.

GOD – I LOVED THISGIRL.

I LOVED HER BEYOND ANYTHINGIN THIS WORLD.

ITS LIKE – THERE WASN’TANYTHING IN THIS WORLD I WOULDN’T /OR COULDN’T DO FOR HER.

She finally plonks onher bed on her knees as she now stretches her arms in Pure Glee – “ goshhhhhhhhoodie guy…this is it..like I am a CA now …like its official…yippeeee..”

I grin on reflex – “and I am so so proud off you Khushi…love you deserve every bit off it ..i am sohappy for you…”

She grins – “ ok ok…Iknow you are having a party at home too…so I wont keep for very long..hoodieguy..mayeb just ten minutes If that’s ok?? And then ofcourse we will connectlater in the night after I am back from the big bus mixer and my uber schedule…althoughI do doubt if Zara will let me leave from the mixer..she will be coming asusual but will stay longer today with Zain because its her bday too right….”

I grin – “ khushi…youknow what I think you need to just relax and let go tonight..forget about Uber scheduletoday just enjoy yourself…get a little tipsy and high maybe, and ask Zain and Zarato drop you home after..do not drink and drive..please…”

She grins – “ ok thatis a good idea hoodie guy..i think I will have some drinks tonight..maybe justa few…but I have to Uber too..i think I will do like an hour of schedule beforeI get to the Mixer..its Saturday..we get really good incentives..”

I nod as I say – “ okok sunshine…I understand..but no uber after the mixer ok?? Before..no drinkingand driving…”

She grins – “ofcoursee ya you know I will never drink and drive..”,and she pauses – “ andbtw in all my excitement I forgot to tell you…that you are looking extremelyrakishly like dapper dude kind of handsome in this killer casual blazer overyour denims..”,and she pauses as she picks up the phone from the window ledgeand now plonks back on her pillow – “ carnage kisses to you love..”

I chuckle now as I say– “ really how about I open that teleportal now..”

She winks – “ ok pleasedo Dumbledore..pretty please…..”

I grin and wink – “eight more days..and I am going to be with you…you know we have just 3 ODI’swith Bangladesh lined up until the 22nd December..starting tomorrow…andthat why Mom kind of shifted this dinner party to tonight,because tomorrowmorning I am thinking of shifting to the hotel with the team because we havethe first match here in Firoz Shah Kotla…”

She grins – “ yes,and then you have the second on 19th in Jaipur and then you all willbe back to Delhi by the 20th and then the third and final odi indelhi on the 22nd…”

I grin with a wink – “and I shall leave for Cape Town on the next flight after and I will see you byyour time 9pm on 23rd December, love..”

She does a happydance with her hands now – ‘”and I cant wait…”,and I grin as I ask on reflex – “ok love…so what are you planning to wear to the mixer tonight??”

She grins as she says– “ well…ok so you know what since I am a CA today and I feel like Dad and momwill be dancing up in there..i am going to wear that same outifit that I lastshopped with Mom..you know the one I wore to Diya’s bday party months ago…”

I grin and wink– “ohh bloddy hell..you looked smoking hot in that one Khushi…you have no freakingidea what happened to me when I saw that picture you sent me when I was in theafterparty…”

She blushes now andpropels up on the elbow ,and her eyes lock with mine – “ohh really????”

I grin – “ don’t youdare look at me like that right now Sunshine…i am telling you I am going tofine you for this severly when I see you…”

She gives me a shysmile.

GODDAMIT.

I LOVE IT WHEN SHEGETS ALL SHY.

And I say immediatelyand honestly – “ you have no freaking idea how addictive you are dammit..”

She grins and she rollsher eyes – “ haha..look who is talking..you should already be in Azkaban ok…onthe ground of causing massive natural calamities..”

I ask amused – “really??? What natural calamity have I caused???”

She states in a matterof fact tone dramatically with the action of her hand – “ dude…I cant tell youon your face..i shall text you later on..”

And right then thescreen goes blank and her voice comes through – “ ok love…its Uncle calling..theyknow my result would be out by now..hes probably calling to ask me..”

I grin as I pick upthe phone and place it on my ear – “ ok Sunshine..you enjoy with everyone..andthen just text me as usual as you always do..and send me a picture of yourself whenyou are ready for the mixer..”

She chuckles – “ yesofcourse..i love youuuuuuuuuuu……enjoy your partyyyy too…go go now..i don’t wantto keep you longer…”

I grin to myself-  “okkk then..speak soon..”

She – “ speak soonhoodie guy…ok Rahul is also calling now…love I gotta rush now..kisses toyou..carngaed ones..”,and she finishes that bit with a wonderful chuckle,and wehang up.

And I cant stop grinningand I am just about to make my way out the door when there is a knock on mydoor and I say on reflex – “ come in…”

Its Mom and Anjali.

Mom grins as shefolds her arms across her chest – “ so that smile on your face tells us thatKhushi’s result was great..”

I grin and nodhappily.

Anjali grins – “ shesdone with the CA officially now????”

I nod – “ yesguys..she is..and I am so so happy for her..do you know she wasliterallyjumping and dancing on her bed right now…”

Mom grins as shelaces her hand through my arm – “ ofcourse..i can only imagine..that girls beenworking so hard..and she is so brave and strong…Arnav..you better meet all herclose ones when you see her around Xmas ok?? And then I want to meet her too…cmon…”

Anjali grins as shelaces another her arm through my hand – “ yes we cant wait…cmon…”

I grin – “ soonguys..soon..”

And Mom looks at meas she gestures me with a little nudge towards Anjali and I understand what shemeans and so I straighten my voice as I look at Anjali – “ so..mom wants me totell you that she has invited Ravi too..this time around…he should be here anyminute”

Anjali narrows hereyes at Mom – “ mom….”

Ok GUYS.

SO AS YOU ALL WOULDKNOW BY NOW.

OUR MOM IS LIKE OURBEST FRIEND.

WE TALK TO HER ABOUTEVERYTHING.

Mom shrugs – “ ohcmon..anjali…be mature about this please..i could not – not invite him at ourhouse party when I have invited the entire team too...talk to him once and forall..don’t hang things like this for both of yourselves..look I am your mom andI love you.. but I will guide you too like a honest friend, from where I seeit..either you tell him once and for all that theres no hope anymore and endthings firmly or you work your way around forgiveness…and I think the point helast made kinda had me thinking too…I meaN do you both really want to throw awayall that you both still feel for each other, look love its easy to break thingsthat take ages to nurture..but then think about this firmly, because otherwisesome regrets can last a lifetime..and I will support your secision whatever itis and I do not want to influence it too – but what I want to say is – atleast getaround to making that decision now its been a year to this, and its like yourboth stuck – hes not moving on, you are not moving on…either you move on andlet him move on too…don’t do this to both of yourselves..”

I put my hands aroundmy sisters shoulder and she looks at us– “ lets see guys..ok I know I need toput a closure to this..but its like I am unable to move on from what I feel andat the same time that picture of his – wont freaking leave my head..but I knowwhat you mean Mom..iv left it hanging for too long..its not helping either ofus..so…lets see maybe I will gulp down that glass of wine and get around totalking to him..”

Mom rolls her eyes – “ideally I would advise you to do tackle such an important matter by talking tohim without any alcohol in your system..”

Anjali groans – “ momI would need atleast half a glass of wine..”

I chuckle on reflexas I ruffle her hair lovingly – “ I just want you to be happy Anjali..whateveryou decide…”

Mom nods – “ look asyour mother I have always taught this to you both and I will emphasis on it againits like – things happen ok..mistakes happen…the world is not perfect, love isnot perfect..people are not perfect...and whatever you decide to do – take responsibilityfor your each action yourself and don’t shy away from facing the consequencesthen..you know Iv told this to you both always – theres never any point inplaying any blame games –that’s only going to damage you worse - take yourdecisions and then stand by them and take responsibility for it and face the consequncesthen…don’t run away from that…so Anjali if you decide to put an end to this – justwork on it within and face the consequence with your feelings after..and itwill be ok…you will be ok..we are all here for you…but I don’t want you toswing in between this see saw longer..not good for you…and that is my advice toyou..in the end like I always tell you both the decision is yours..”

Anjlai nods and Momand me both pull her into a group hug.

And we get out into OurHouse Party.

Everyone from my Teamwas here too – and Cap with his family too and some of my other team playerswith their respective partners.

Mom grins at me as weare taking the stairs down – “ next party I throw in here shall be for you andKhushi, my son…”

I grin as I say – “thanks Mom..”,and Anjali races down the steps ahead of us and she spots one ofher friends.

And I spot Dadtalking to Cap already and Mom chuckles – “ there goes your father…probably caughtup your captain and indulging in his nostalgia by telling him a tale about his goldendays of cricket…”,and she pauses as she looks at me – “ your bowling coach is herebut only your super favourite Das Sir couldn’t come today..”

Ananteshwar Das – wasour Coach.

Like the Main Coachof our Team for almost six years now.

I looked upto himgreatly.

And honestly he waslike a favourite too and the same time I did get a little nervous around him too– we all did – because he was so disciplined and strict – he kind of kept theteam going on track always.

I nodded – “ yes mom,because Coach had to step out for a personal commitment for a couple of days hewill be back in time for the match starting tomorrow..”

Mom grins – “ cmonthen…I want you to enjoy too…youv had such a brilliant year son..gamewise..love wise…celebrate a little”,and she hugs me.

And I hug her – “ Iwill..thanks mom..i  love you..”

She hugs me and thenkisses my forhead -  “ I love you too son…”

…………………

Cape Town – 745 PM

Ananteshwar Das.

The Coach of theIndian Cricket Team – was in Cape Town because of two reasons.

Firstly – one of hislong time friends who was also the ex- coach of the South African cricket team livedin this city and he had suffered a heart attack a couple of days ago and so ashe got those four days of break – after returning from Sri Lanka and in betweenof the bi- lateral 3match oDI series with Bangladesh starting tomorrow in Delhi– he wanted to visit his friend – who was now stable and was recovering well.

Second – now that hehad come to Cape Town he was in two minds or rather jolting in between what hismind and heart were guiding him to do, whether he should call this mysteriousgirl for a meet or not.

His mind was tellinghim too.

And his Heart waskind off giving him mixed signals.

Ok.

So Cricket.

It’s the Love of HisLife

More than just aGame.

And he has dedicatedhis entire  Life and youth to this game whichis not just a normal sport – for Indians and the country – it was more like adeclared Religion on its own.

And ever since he’sshifted to the position of the Head Coach for the Indian Cricket Team almostsix years ago – his entire focus has been towards keeping this team very close knittogether and disciplined and focussed so that each player knew – that they wereplaying more than just a game when they stepped on the Pitch.

Because It was not aSport that people watched for leisure – for people in the country – a lot of theirtime of their lives was invested into this game – into the team – into the BlueJersey – the country stood proud behind them – no matter how good a victory orhow disappointing a loss and ofcourse they have faced ups and downs through butthe fact that the Love for this Game remains so strong in the people of India –it was his duty to kind of make sure that every member of his team was givingit their all.

And As A Coach – he hada deep respect for the game of his players.

And he had never takena liberty to step out of that line as their Coach and interfered with theirpersonal lives or spoken to family members – until and unless he felt that heneeded their help in getting a player to kind of see a situation differently orkind of help him in talking through in a same language with the player as him –because every player invests not just his time into the game – its a strongpart of their life – and their emotions too.

But this Time.

He was worried.

He was reallyworried.

Because one of hisStar Players ASR – the future Captain of the Indian Cricket Team was startingto leave matches and disregard the importance of the cricketing meetings withcricket boards around the world and his very own country too.

He opens his phone ashe looks at the email sent by ASR to him and the BCCI stating that he would bemissing out on the round of all meetings scheduled with the Board in between 24thDecember to Jan 3 – due to personal reasons.

Ok So Cricket is alsoa lot about Strategy.

All around the yearwhen there is a lot of play happening – the BCCI isn’t able to hold combinedmeetings with the Captain- Vice Captain –and then sometimes other requiredmembers from the team too – all the Coaches – and the team of selectors etc allat the same time because some one or the other is always missing due to a playschedule or a break placed differently – and that is why this time around Xmasand New Year (because most of them lived in Delhi permanently anyway – as in  CAP, ASR,COACH, the BCCI members etc)– was thetime  they reserved for these importantstrategy meetings which kind off decided a lot of things for their line ofactions for the next upcoming year.

And the Next Year –2020 – was a Crucial Year for Indian Cricket.

Apart from theregular biltareal international series and tours – they had three Major tournamentsthis year after the IPL.

First – The NatwestTriangular tournament with England and Australia.

Second – The AsiaCup.

Third – The ICC T20World Cup – which was to be held here in South Africa.

And he needed everyplayer of the team to concentrate on the Games now more than ever.

And there was anotherreason why ASR’s casual approach to importance towards gaming strategy was kindoff triggering and troubling him.

And the reason was thatOnly He (As in the Coach)  had a heads upfrom Cap that he might announce his retirement from International Cricket afterthe T20 World Cup and that meant that the future Captain that everyone hadtheir eyes on – ASR – had to be ready in every way to kind of take oversmoothly.And as a coach it was his duty to kind of start getting ASR ready tobe able to step in – into Caps shoes not just in terms of the game on the field– but the backend strategy of it all too.

And this Boy ASR –whom he had a very soft corner for in his heart – was in Love – with a girl wholived half across the globe.

He had kind of heardASR- Ravi and Cap -talking about it over their breakfast table before the finalmatch in Sri Lanka and how Arnav was going to fly to Cape Town to be with herover Xmas and New Years too.

He was happy for Him.

He was.

Because he knows thattimeline in a cricketrs life towards the game is anyway limited and its familythat will stand by them forever.

But.

The problem was thatthis girl lived half across the globe.

He couldn’t haveArnav leave matches on his whims and fancies and fly around to see her wheneverhe wished – not at this point in his career.

And he knew that shewas the one he had walked out for on those two matches – even though it was winwin situation anyway – but still – leaving a match was what he couldn’t doanymore , a different responsibility as awaiting to lean on his shoulders.

And Not just that.

The T20 WORLD CUP WASIN SOUTH AFRICA – AND THAT WAS HIS MAIN WORRY – THIS BOY WAS GOING TO BETOTALLY DISTRACTED- AND WHAT IF HE STARTS FLYING IN AND OUT TO CAPETOWN IN BETWEENOF MATCHES??? THAT WOULD TOTALLY RUIN THE TEAM’S DISCIPLINE.

And as a Coach – his teamsdiscipline and focus was his priority.

And he knew that thiswas unfair to ASR.

It was.

And he also knew himway too well for years now – he knew there would be no point in talking to ASRabout this straight head – his temperament and emotions at the moment wouldtotally fire up and that would be a monumental blunder.

And so now that hewas here in Cape Town – maybe he could ask this girl for some Help.

And as a the Coach –he didn’t have any other choice.

And that is why – he wasin such a fix.

He had a flight tocatch in the next eight hours – and even though he had been in Cape Town for somany days – his heart couldn’t get around to calling this girl yet.

He had her number. Hehad taken it off Ravi’s phone(who had it stored as – ASR’s Uber Girl) – when hewasn’t looking.

The things you do –for the Love of the Game you’v dedicated your whole life too.

 (And because he had overheard them talkingthat day - so he knew that Cap and Ravi knew all about this girl and that iswhy Cap had been stepping in and covering up for ASR – because in theirpersonal equation ASR was like a little brother to Cap – he had a soft cornerfor him too- and that is why Cap also keeps telling him and the BCCI that they shouldalso consider the fact that ASR doesn’t want Captaincy and think about Shiv maybeinstead as the next captain – but no – as a coach he knew – if anyone couldstep into the shoes of Legendary Golden Cap – it was ASR – no one else – even theBCCI wanted him.)

And that is why hewas in such a fix.

He didn’t know whatto do.

His head was tellinghim to just abide by his duty to Cricket.

And his heart wastelling him that – by doing this – he would be being totally Unfair to the boyhe had a very soft corner for in his heart.

He finished sippingon his drink now and he booked himself an Uber to the Hotel.

Maybe – he wouldatleast try calling her, once he reached the Hotel – If she picked up – then maybeit would be a sign that this would be the right thing to do.

If she didn’t – he wouldlet it go.

As a sportsperson –hes always been a little intuitive and superstitious too.

…………………………………..

Khushi’s POV

I grin to myself as Isee Arnav’s text reply to the picture I had shared with him.

Him : Thank GodLove , you have that black stoll over and around your neck over your sexy topwhile you are driving.Gosh you look so sexy in the previous picture.if id be withyou right now – you have no idea the kind of carnage I would unleash on you.

I grin to myselfas I write : ok so you wanted to know all about what calamity you unleashna.its bloody earthquakes.you make me shiver and tremble within as if I am inpermanent earthquake mode, love.

Him : oh really???

Me : yes really!!doyou know in my head I kind of use different kind of scales of intensity on therichter scale to define how much I am trembling.

Him :Sunshine, I wouldlike you to give me an  example pleaseee???

I grin – I can writethis to him on text.

I will never have theguts to say this to him on his face.

Me : ok like youknow how you stamp your arrival and departure stamps – I tremble within like asif it’s an earthquake on a richter scale of starting from 2.0 and by the time youfinish its increased to like 5.0 maybe.

My phone beepsimmediately.

Him: ohreally????????? I love the sound of that. One more example please!!

Me: shut upArnav..i have to drive.I am waiting for a uber pick up now, and after this dropI will be heading to the mixer.how is your party going love?

Him : Good wellits going to go late into the night.Its 1115 pm only and guess what Ravi andAnjali are talking…like finally..i mean I don’t know what they are talking yetbut I can see them in a corner across from me , deep in conversation.i justwant Anjali to be happy.its been a tough time for her emotionally.

Me : I know whatyou mean..just support her like you always do Love.you are the best brother.

Him : Thank YouSunshine.Can I get another example please though??

Me : NOOOOOOOOWAYYYYYYY.dont distract me ya..i have to drive dammit.

Him : okkk fineSunshine.we shall talk about this on the video call in a couple of hours then?dontdrink too much ok or you will sleep..drink a little so that the alcohol hitmakes you express your thoughts a little more boldly.

Me :Arnav……………areyou crazyyyyyyyyyy …stoppppp it….stoppp texting me now…..

Him : hahaha..okfine…Sunshine.ok Dad’s just called me. I will text you later love.Carnagekisses.

Me : Carnage KissesLove.

And right then I seea Man walk towards my Uber and I think I recognise him as he is nearing and justas he gets in – I am surprised.

Because I have seen apicture of this man next to Arnav – so many times.

It’s the Coach.

As in the Coach ofthe Indian Cricket Team.

What’s he doing herein Cape Town????

Oh Varun was tellingme a couple of days ago that one of the ex south African teams coach had alittle heart episode a couple of days ago and was now recovering well.

Maybe hed come to seehis old friend.

I mean – maybe – you knowhow its natural for Coaches to Bond.

They all share the lovefor the Game.

I give him a briefsmile as I start the ride and I keep my eyes on the road.I have to drive him tohis Hotel.

He is anyway way tooengrossed in his phone.

I will text Arnavabout this after the ride though.

What a freakingCo-Incidence Ya!

Right then we come toa stop at a red light, and I try to distract myself by looking out the windowand my phone buzzes with a private number.

Whattt????

I don’t get callsfrom Private Numbers!!!!!

I look in the review mirrorand I see he is busy on a call too and I ask politely – “ sir, is it ok if I takethis call? We will be on the red light for two minutes..”

He nods courteously.

I pick up on reflexand I say into the phone – “ hello….”

And I hear a deep sternvoice come through – “ helloooo Is this…”,and I pause and I look back because Ihave just heard him say the same words in my background,and he gives me asurprised look too and he cuts the call and automatically my call gets cut tooand he looks into his phone now and he asks – “ is your number…this??”(herecites my phone number)

Ok.

Now .

I am shocked.

How does the Coach ofthe Indian Cricket Team have my number????????

Arnav never told meabout this.

I nod anyway politely– “ yes sir..thats my number…”

He looks at me – “ whatsyour name???? are you ASR’s mysterious Uber Girl???i got your number from Ravisphone..thats how hes stored your name in his contact..”

I am sure my eyeswiden to cups and saucers now but I cant lie so I nod silently and then I say –“ yes sir..”

I DON’T KNOW WHY I AMSTARTING TO FEEL VERY WEIRD ABOUT THIS.

He takes a deep breathand he says – “ ok so this is a sign then..i know what I need to do now…”

I look at himconfused – “ huh????”

He gives me a politesmile – “ whats your name??”

I smile politely – “Khushi..”

He says politely yetsternly – “ ok khushi..will it be ok for you to pullover towards a sidespot..where only I can talk to you alone???”

OK GUYS.

I FEEL LIKE A 6 YEAROLD WHO IS GOING TO BE SCOLDED BY THE TEACHER FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.

I AM SO NERVOUS.

WHY DOES HE WANT TOTALK TO ME??

But I nod anyway andthe signal goes green and I Pull over the car to the side spot parking near a desertedpark and he says – “ come Khushi..lets have a little chat on that park bench”

OK.

I AM VERY NERVOUSNOW.

I FEEL LIKE MY HEARTIS PUMPING BLOOD IN A SUPER SONIC SPEED.

SHOULD I TEXTARNAV????

SOMETHING IN MY GUTAND ON HIS FACE TELLS ME NOT TOO.

AND SO I DON’T.

I just nod adjust mystoll over myself nervously and step out the car and I walk towards thedeserted children’s park bench with my feet trembling.

I DON’T KNOW WHY IFEEL SICK IN MY STOMACH.

I sit next to him onthe other side of the bench now and he adjusts his Cap over his head as he leansback into the bench a little and he turns to face me and he says looking at myface – “ you are nervous Khushi..natural..for I am sure you were not expectingthis..”

I nod politely – “yes sir..i mean..i don’t know what is it that you want to talk to me about..?”

He nods – “ fairenough…you will know soon..and I want you to listen to me very carefully ok??”

I nod.

He takes a deep breathe– “ Ok Khushi.first thing out – know that I am only talking to you because I seeno other option for me in here..i have been kind of swinging in between gettingaround to making this call to you…for days now..but then I thought it would be unfairso I wasn’t making it and then because I have to leave in a couple of hours I thoughtlet me atleats make a call if you pick up then I know I have to take that as asign that I have to go with my head and if you didn’t – I was going to let thisgo – but look at the sign and the coincidence that I sat in your uber by chance– so I am taking this as a signal for me to go ahead and talk to you..”

I AMNERVOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

I NOD SILENTLY.

He goes on – “ ok sofirst thing out I am happy that Arnav is in Love and I did overhear him talkingto Ravi and Cap about you in sri lanka…and I know Cap’s been covering up forhim in front of me on the two occasions that hes walked out on matches to comesee you…”

OK THEN.

SHIT.

THE WAY HE IS LOOKINGAT ME RIGHT NOW.

I FEEL LIKE – SHIT GUILTY.

I FEEL LIKE ACRIMINAL.

I say on reflex – “sir…I know..i am sorry…but I didn’t know..i am very sorry…arnav said it was awin anyway..and then the other one in Auckland the other day was a washout..”

He says in a stern tone– “ by chance Khushi…it was a washout by chance..what if it hadn’t been awashout and so what if it’s a win – it’s a series – a tournament – a game that’sgot to be played till the last bit – until the other side has finished too…it’sa respect for the sport…”

I nod as I say softlylooking towards the ground now – “ yes sir..i am sorry…”

His voice softens – “arnav doesn’t know I am here talking to you…and he should not know the rest ofour conversation too…its for his own good..and that look on your face tells methat you love him too don’t you????”

I nod frantically – “I do sir… I really do..”

He looks at me andhis voice softens more – “ you are my daughters age and I hate to do this toyou , but I have no choice beta..”

HE JUST CALLED MEBETA.

I AM SPEECHLESS.

He continues – “ I amhappy for Arnav that he is in Love, its like I know and that look in your eyealready tells me that you love him too..…for every player its like its familythat is going to stick around forever because cricketing life is anyway limited…”,andhe pauses as he asks – “ are you serious about this?? As in say if he asks.. areyou ready to leave your entire life and your world behind here for him??”

I nod immediately – “yes sir…I am very serious about this I have thought about this..but onlythat..i would need some time..as in by the end of this year maybe..i finish my seconddegree in management accounting by June, after that I have to take care ofcouple of things to wind up everything here…and I know Arnav knows that as inhe understands…”

And he looks at me ina very serious gaze – “ and do you know how hectic our schedule is starting the6th of January??????”

I nod – “ yes sir..iknow..i know it is very hectic…”

He – “and do youexpect him to leave his matches , his duty towards his nation as ainternational player…and keep coming to see you in between all this while???”

I look at him and I shakemy head immedaiely – “ no sir…I understand…I would never expect that from him..never..itotally understand that his duty to cricket is something which is very close tohis heart too…I would never want to distract him from that…”

His serious gazebears into me as he says – “ and do you know that’s exactly what you are rightnow at this point in his career – for him – a distraction…look I know you maynot have asked or expected him to come see you, but Love…I know we all havebeen victims it works that way it blinds you..and that’s what this is doing toArnav now..its starting to blind him..do you even know what an importantmeeting he missed with the New Zealand Cricket Board when he flew out of Aucklanda while ago???????”

My eyes widen in shock.

WHAT DID HE MISS FORME?????????

He continues – “ thatshock in your eyes tell me that you don’t know..tell me something Khushi..doyou watch cricket???”

I admit honestly – “no sir…I can’t..as..in..”,but he stops me in my sentence as he picks up hishands in frustration – “ then how do I even make you understand that cricket isnot just a game for India and Indians – its like a religion , do you even knowthe importance and the responsibilities that is dawned on every playersshoulders as they put on that prestigious blue jersey??????do you know whatthat means??????????”

I AM SPEECHLESS.

I WANT TO TELL HIM –THAT I KNOW.

THAT I UNDERSTAND.

BUT MY VOICEBOX ISCRASHED.

AND THIS IS NOWSTARTING TO FEEL LIKE THAT PHONECALL I RECEIVED FROM UNCLE ABOUT THAT FATEFULNEWS ABOUT THE AIR CRASH THAT KILLED MY FAMILY.

I just nod silentlyas I say trembling – “ I know..as in I understand..”

He looks at me – “you don’t watch cricket beta so you don’t know what ASR is to the country orthe nation right now…do you know he is the future captain of the Indian cricketteam..i need to get him ready to step into Caps shoes not just on the field butin the gaming strategy too, cricket is all about strategy too…and do you haveany idea about how casual Arnavs attitude is towards this??

And my eyes widen as Isay to Arnavs defense immediately – “ no sir…hes never had anything affect hisperformance…hes a wonderful sportsperson..and captaincy ..its like..he is..itmakes him nervous..”

He nods – “ there isno doubt about that..i am not talking about his performance Khushi..cricket isthe love of his life..i know that..i have seen that boy play for six years nowand I know captaining makes him jittery..i am his coach..i observe him wellbeta..but I know..he has the potential..and the ability..to evolve and growinto it and take the Indian team to newer heights after Cap steps down aftert20 world cup..i am the only one who has this heads up and as a coach I need toget the next candidate in line prepped for that role Khushi..and not just onthe firld..off it too..we need to build and maintain cordial relations withcricket boards across the world  - he isgoing to be the face of Indian Cricket by the end of this year..”

OH SHIT.

THEY HAVE NO CLUEABOUT ARNAV’S RETIREMENT PLANS AT 30.

I AM NOT GOING TO GIVEAWAY ANY BIT OFF THAT WITH MY EXPRESSION.

THAT’S ARNAV’S SECRETI WILL GUARD WITH MY LIFE.

I nod as I sayhonestly – “ I know sir..he has the potential…I know what you mean…”

He continues in hisstern tone – “ no khushi you don’t know what I mean yet..”,and he now shoves hisphone in my hand as he says – “ see this email – its an email from him to me andthe BCCI stating that he will be missing out on all meetings scheduled in Delhiat the BCCI headquarters around Xmas and New years this year because he is outof the country for personal reasons…what do you think happens khushi when weare not playing??? The only time of the year around Xmas and New Years when wehave this break and all of us are able to get together – we have strategymeetings that decide the course of action for the next full year of play..andhe wants to miss that why khushi??????????because he is casual about hisattitude towards gaming strategy this is not a joke khushi or a game of streetcricket – this is the official vice captain of the Indian bloody cricket team…andbecause me and Cap both have a soft corner for him he has Cap covering up forhim always..and iv been watching silently too until now…until this email camearound..tell me is this fair??”

My eyes widen as I readthe Email.

GODDAMIT.

HOODIE GUY.

WHY DIDN’T YOU TELLME ANYTHING ABOUT THIS????????????

YOU WERE GOING TOMISS OUT ON ALL THIS IMPORTANT STUFF BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO COME SEE ME???????

I AM SPEECHLESS.

He continues sternly –“ well and I know why he wants to miss out he wants to come spend time withyou, because after that the schedule is so hectic..but tell me why does he haveto do all the flying in here, get on a plane sometime and come see him yourselfkhushi where he is..i think its very unfair that you expect an internationalplayer to chuck aside his games and national duties and fly to you all the time…”

OH SHITT.

Tears fall off myeyes on reflex as I admit trembling – “ I can’..t…i..ca..nn..’t..get on the plane..yetsir..i am working onn it..”

He looks at me andhis voice softens now and he asks – “ you have a phobia of flying??”

I NOD.

MY VOICEBOX’SCRASHING WITH ALL THIS EMOTION.

He sighs – “ look I don’twant to overwhelm you with this Khushi…but its just not fair..as in to his lovefor cricket right…and you know what my deeper fear is…the t20 world cup is in SouthAfrica and with you being around it will be  such a distraction because he will keep onflying in and out in between the cities to come see you if this goes on likethis until then and then it will totally ruin my teams discipline and focus –something which I live and work for everyday khushi..i am the coach of the Indiancricket team..its my life..my entire life..and not just that – do you know inhis entire career uptil now for Arnav he has all the medals in his kitty of allthe major icc tounaments and the other prestigious wins in the world of cricket– you know the only thing he doesn’t have?? The t20 world cup win medal…for hejoined the team in 2009 and india won the first t20 in 2007.”

NOW THAT CATHES MYEARS.

HOODIE GUY DOESN’T HAVETHIS ONLY ONE MEDAL.

AND NO ONE EXCEPT FORME AND HIS FAMILY KNOW THAT HE PLANS TO RETIRE AFTER THE WORLD CUP TOO.

AND THAT HE IS VERYSERIOUS ABOUT HIS DECISION.

AND CRICKET HAS BEENHIS LIFE FOR SO MANY YEARS NOW.

AND I REMEMBER HIMTALKING ABOUT HOW HE WANTS TO END IT WITH A BANG!!!!!

MY MINDS GOING ALLHAYWIRE NOW.

EVERYTHING HE ISTELLING ME IS NOW STARTING TO RESONATE WITH MY HEART THAT LOVES HIM SO DEEPLY.

I WOULD HATE IT – IF HEWOULD BE DISTRACTED FROM ALL OF THIS IMPORTANT STUFF BECAUSE OF ME RIGHT BEFOREHE GIVES UP CRICKET FOR GOOD.

I hear him continueseriously – “ and not just that Cap…his Cap whom he looks up to so greatly – heis the one captain who has all the medals in his kitty we do call him thegolden cap – imagine if he is able to retire with a second t20 world cup winmedal…just imagine how that would feel to Arnav..you have no idea how importantthis year 2020 is to Indian cricket khushi…. ”

OKKKKK.

OKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

I GET IT.

HE WANTS SOMETHINGFROM ME NOW.

I look at him as I wipemy tears – “ what do you want me to do???”

He sighs now – “ lookall I want is that maybe find a way out to not all this Love and emotiondistract him from his game atleast until the end of the T20 world cup and I knowyou both love each other and you did say that you will be ready to make theshift for him by then too right??????so that’s all I want – I don’t want tohurt you both by asking you to end this because I know love is precious too-maybe just put a hold to this for a while – we are in mid December – just untilthe 25th November next year until the t20 world cup final in Johannesburglike just 11 months– and I will tell him after the tournament myself that I hadasked this of you too…I will tell him the truth, he will be angry with me I know..butI need to do this its my duty to cricket and my duty to the nation…I don’t knowhow you do it..but i don’t want him travelling to Cape Town until we come alongwith the team for world cup…it will be too much distraction for him at thispoint in his career Khushi…I mean I don’t want to wait until he starts leavingand skipping out on major matches and the BCCI is already pissed with him afterthis email, do you want the Indian cricket board to get annoyed with a playerwho has given so much of his talent and hard work and sweat to the game for allthese years…and what about the public..the public that loves him..he is a demigod for Indians all over the world, an international hero..do you even know thekind of scrutiny and wrath a player faces once their performances starts to godown…..”

NOOOOOOOOOO.

NEVER IN ALL OF MYLIFE WOULD I WANT ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN TO ARNAV BECAUSE OF ME.

I’D RATHER DIE.

I WANT MY HOODIE GUYTO END WITH A BANG – IN ALL GLORY.

I am dazed and silentand he continues – “ and there is no point of me trying to even talk to Arnavabout this head on…because…”

I know.

I say on reflex – “ Iknow I know what you mean…that wouldn’t work in your favour…”

I KNOW – IF ARNAVHEARS ABOUT ANY OF THIS.

HE WILL GET IN SUCH AROW WITH HIS COACH.

AND HE MIGHT JUST GETSO MAD AND RETIRE FROM CRICKET NOW ITSELF.

BECAUSE I KNOW THAT’SHOW DEEPLY HE LOVES ME.

HE ALWAYS SAYS – I CANSTEP BACK FROM THE GAMES BUT NOT YOU.

AND IF HE HEARS ANYTHINGABOUT COACH EVEN TALKING TO ME – HE WILL TURN THE DRESSING ROOM UPSIDE DOWN ANDGET INTO A HEATED SCENE WITH THE MAN WHO HE DEEPLY LOOKS UP TOO AS HIS GURU –AND THEN HE WILL JUST PROBABLY ANNOUNCE RETIREMENT IMMEDIATELY.

I KNOW HIM RIGHT.

I KNOW HIM THORUGHAND THROUGH

I KNOW EVERYTHING.

I WOULD NEVER WANTHIM TO END UP DOING SOMETHING LIKE TO HIMSELF RIGHT AT THE LAST LEG OF HIS CRICKETINGCAREER – A CAREER HE HAS WORKED SO HARD FOR ALL THESE YEARS.

AND EVEN THOUGH IT ISKILLING EVERYBIT OF ME WITHIN TO EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTING US ON HOLD FOR 11MONTHS WHEN I CANNOT STAY WITHOUT TALKING TO HIM OR WRITING A TEXT TO HIM EVENFOR AN HOUR – MY HEART IS TELLING ME TO DO THIS FOR THE MAN IT SO DEEPLY LOVED.

HE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME– HOODIE GUY.

THERE WASN’T ANYTHINGIN THE WORLD THAT I WOULDN’T DO FOR HIM.

AND IF I TELL HIM NOWTHAT ARNAV EVEN IF I AM READY TO MAKE THE SHIFT NOW – HE WONT LET ME UNTIL MYEDUCATION IS COMPLETED IN JUNE IN THIS UNIVERSITY ONLY BECAUSE HE KNOWS IT WASMY LATE FATHERS DREAM – AND HE HAS HINTED TO ME SEVERAL TIMES THAT MY DREAMSARE AS IMPORTANT TO HIM TOO – AND HED NEVER WANT TO ANY SORT OF GUILT WEIGHINGHIS HEART DOWN THAT HE ASKED ME TO GIVE UP ON THESE THINGS THAT I STILL HAVE TOWIND UP BEFORE IT WAS TIME – HE SAYS MY LOVE ISNT SO WEAK THAT IT CANT STANDTHE TEST OF TIME - THAT’S HOW DEEPLY HE LOVES ME

GODAMMITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

And THIS WAS MY TEST.

THIS WAS A FREAKING TESTOFF MY LOVE FOR HIM – BY LIFE.

I CLOSE MY EYES,AND IASK MY HEART FOR GUIDANCE.

I OPEN MY EYES TWOMINUTES LATER.

I take a deep breatheas I wipe my tears and I look at Coach and I say honestly – “ill do it…forhim..i will…because id for our love to become a distraction in his path and I knowwhat you mean when you say that that is what Love is – it is addictive – I willtry to put things on hold a little as in I assure you that I fill find a waythat he doesn’t come to Cape Town until the t20 and that all his attention andfocus in on the game for the next 11 months…but only on one condition sir…”

He looks at mepuzzled – “ what condition???”

I take a deep breatheas I admit honestly looking into him straight now– “ so sir…I know what I mighthave to do to get Arnav to listen to me might just make him get very mad at meand he might not talk to me..i mean it is a big risk for me…but because I lovehim…I will do this for him…and you can tell him all about it after the t20world cup tournament – he wont hear a word about this from me until then forsure..i will figure out a way to handle things in between of us until then..butyou please promise me just one thing..you take my number ok?? As in you alreadyhave my number right?? And no one knows right..just rename it to whatever youwant…please just message me about all your take offs and landings whenever youall are travelling through plane to which ever destinations locally in india orabroad, and if you could just message me your flight numbers too because I knowyou all fly together as a team always- I will track it on my end…that’s all I needto know..i just need to know that he is safe and sound whereever he is…that’s all…”

His gaze softens andso does his tone as he asks – “ I promise I will “,and he paused as he aks – “andthis is because of your phobia of flying??”

I nod as I admitsoftly – “ I lost my entire family in an air crash sir..that is why..i..i..cantsit on the plane yet…I mean..i am working on it…I think I will also seek my oldcounsellors help to fast track this recovery for myself…so that maybe..just maybe..ican be able sit on the plane faster”,and I paused as he now immediately keeps ahand on my head and he says softly – “ im sorry khushi that its come to this…butyou understand don’t you??? I am Arnav’s coach..and have seen him play foryears…like evr since he was in the under 19 team ..its been a decade now..I havea soft corner for him too – and I know he looks upto me greatly too as hisguru..and that’s why its my duty to kind off having to step in to do  this to get his entire focus back into thegame..at this point of his career that he has worked for – all these years…itsfor his good too, and ofcourse for cricket and the country Khushi…”

I nod dazed – “ I understand..”,andhe now says – “ ill leave you for a while to be by yourself then…and I willbook myself another cab…”

I nod silently.

He pats my shoulder onemore time and he then gets up and leaves.

AND

Right then my phonebeeps.

It’s a text and apicture from Arnav.

My eyes are blurredwith tears as I download the picture and it opens to be a Picture of  a smiling Arnav – Cap and Ravi in a group piclaughing– from his houseparty and he is captioned it below saying – Cap andRavi say Hello Sunshine.

And then theres anothertext.

Him : sunshine…weare having so much fun!! You know its past midnight for us already and we havea game starting at 3pm tomorrow…but no one is leaving.Moms thrown such awonderful party.are you at the mixer already? Its your 830 right? Why haven’t youmessaged me yet????you haven’t texted me for an hour and I miss you so muchalready.You are so bloody addictive sunshine – I love you so much…cant waituntil Xmas – you know what incase we win the first two matches and it’s a win –I was thinking of talking to Cap again to cover up for me so that I can comesee you a couple of days earlier too – that will give us a good ten daystogether and I was just talking to him about that and he said he would cover upfor me ofcourse.And I cant bloody wait..where are you??? Are you safe????

Tears now flow frommy eyes as I read that text.

MY HEART IS OVERWHELMED.

I quickly text himback my fingers are trembling : yes arnav..i am safe….just reaching the mixer soon.I had some more pick ups back to back.uber girl is busy on Saturday ya.

Him : ok yes I know.enjoythe mixer Sunshine…and please keep texting me – you know I need to read yourtexts like every ten minutes.i miss you otherwise.

Me : I miss youtoo.I love you Arnav..

Him : are you ok???

SEE THAT BLOODYTELEPATHY.

FOR THE FIRST TIMEEVER – I LIE TO HIM.

Me : yes arnav..whydo you ask??

Him : I don’t knowjust by your two dots at the end of my name.maybe.

TEARS FALL OFF MYEYES.

Me : ohhoooooo youdumbledore youuuuuuuuu!!!!! Crazy you are hoodie guy…what ya you always want meto be on my full on rant mode now.(and I add a line of hearts next to it )

Him : yes always.youare my sunshine – you smile and the sun shines for me.

Me : I will callyou in a couple of hours – you will be awake no hoodie guy???

Him : ofcourseSunshine – when can I sleep without talking to you??

Me : (I send himhearts and kisses now)

AND I KEEP MYPHONE IN MY POCKET AND I GET UP FROM THE BENCH AND WALK TOWARDS MY CAR NOW ANDI SIT IN MY SEAT WITH A THUD.

I FEEL DAZED.

AND LOST.

AND I FEEL LIKESOMETHINGS DEAD INSIDE.

YOU KNOW HOW THATCALL ABOUT THE AIR CRASH HAPPENED SO SUDDENLY – AND TURNED MY WHOLE LIFE UPSIDEDOWN.

THIS WAS HOW DAZEDI WAS EVEN THEN – ON FIRST IMPACT OF NEWS.

AND

THIS FEELS JUSTTHE SAME.

THIS TOTALLY FEELSLIKE A STORM HAS BEEN TRIGGERED AROUND ME THAT HAS SHOVED MY SMOOTH SAILINGSHIP ACROSS TWO OCEANS STRAIGHT INTO THE DANGEROUS WHIRPOOLS OF THE BERMUDATRIANGLE – WHICH IS BY DEFAULT THE MOST TRICKY PORTION OF THE ATLANTIC OCEANWHERE A NUMBER OF AIRCRAFT AND SHIPS ARE SAID TO HAVE DISAPPERARED UNDER MYSTERIOUSCIRCUMSTANCES – THAT ENIGMATIC DANGEROUS TRAINGLE WHICH IS A PART OF THEMAGNIFICIENT ATLANTIC OCEAN.

AND ITS LIKE – I HAVENO OPTION BUT TO STEER MY SAILS AROUND THIS CRAZY WHIRLPOOL INORDER TO SAVE ITFROM DROWINING.

AND IN THE PROCESSOF ALL THIS SUDDEN STEERING – MY SAILS WILL OBVIOUSLY BE DAMAGED TOO.

BUT I WAS GOING TOHAVE TO DO IT.

BECAUSE I CANNOTLET MY SHIP SINK BECAUSE OF ME.

BUT.

THIS IS GOING TOHURT US BAD IN THE PROCESS ANYWAY.

BECAUSE IT FEELSLIKE – HOW AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO PUT ME AND ARNAV ON HOLD FOR 11 MONTHS WHENWE CANT FREAKING STAY AWAY FROM EACH OTHER FOR  EVEN A BLOODY HOUR.

ITS GOING TO KILLME TO DO THIS.

BUT I HAVE TO.

FOR HIM.

BECAUSE I LOVEHIM.

AND THAT IS WHY IHAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING.

I CANT TELL HIMTHAT MY FEELINGS HAVE CHANGED – ID RATHER DIE.

AND HE WOULD NEVERBELIEVE IT.

I CANT TELL HIMTHAT LONG DISTNACE IS TAXING – ID RATHER DIE – IT WOULD BELITTLE EVERYTHING WEHAVE SHARED.

AND HE WOULD NEVERBELIEVE IT.

I HAVE TO COOK UPSOMETHING – SOME SORT OF A MIND GAME NOW – SOMETHING HE WILL BELIEVE –SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE HIM STAY MAD AT ME FOR 11 MONTHS – AND ALL THAT ANGERAND FRUSTRATION BE CHANNELISED INTO HIS GAME AND CRICKET.

OHHH GODDDDDDDDDDD.

I HATE MYSELF FORIT ALREADY.

THERES SO MUCHGUILT INSIDE ME ALREADY.

ID NEVER THOUGHTID EVER HAVE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO ARNAV.

MY HOODIE GUY.

THE ONE I TELLEVERYTHING – THE ONE WHO IS EVERYTHING – AND NOW I HAVE TO KEEP THIS FROM HIM FOR11 FREAKING MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CLOSE MY EYESAND I REMEMBER HOW HE’D HELD ONTO MY HAND WHILE I WAS DRIVING TO THE AIRPORT.

AND MY HEARTRUSHES WITH SO MUCH LOVE.

I HAD TO DO THIS FOR HIM.

FOR HIM – I HAD TO.

I press on the race on the accelator now and I start to drive towards the Mixer.

I need some major distraction– or I was going to have an Panic Attack right here – right Now.

………………………………………

25 Minutes Later

Khushi’s POVContinues.

I walk in dazed and lost towards the bar counter at the Mixer.

Its like I feel like a dead ghost inside.

Something inside of me is Slowly Dying.

I think I am on a verge of a Panic Attack.

I cant do this.

I cant push Arnav away for 11 months.

Id rather die.

But my head tells me –Khushi you have too – You LOVE him don’t you??? For him you can do anything remember???????and its just a matter of putting this on hold for 11 months –you don’t have to end this.

Just like a Pause.

My heart revolts onother level now – Id rather freaking Die.

I look at the bartender and I take a deep breathe – “ give me shot…tequila…”,and he nods and he starts getting it ready and I clutch my fists into my hands nervously as I add now – “give me two..or wait…make it three…”

He nods at me and he places one shot in front off me.

I dunk it down.

I need this Hit.

He places the second one.

I take the second shot too.

He places the third now and I am just about to dunk it down, and I feel a hand on my hand and I heara familiar voice – “ whoaaaa Khushi…stopppp…”

Its Asher.

I take a deep breatheas I say – “ asher please…”

And I dunk down the third shot.

And I hear him tell the bartender – “ a glass of water for her please…don’t serve any more drinksto her”,and he asks me concerned – “ whats wrong with you???? Somethings upwith you…”

I don’t look at Asher and I look at the Bartender as I say – “ two more shots please….”

The bartender looksfrom me to Asher confused and I glare at Asher as I say – “ just leave me alone..please Asher..go..….i just want to be alone for sometime..please….”,and I turnto the bartender as I say – “ I said I want my shots…”

And thank god – I seeAsher leave my side now and he gives me a puzzled concerned look before he getsoff.

THANK GOD.

I BLOODY FREAKINGNEED ALL THIS ALCOHOL IN MY SYSTEM RIGHT NOW.

He puts One More Shotin front of Me.

I dunk it down.

FOUR DOWN KHUSHI.

I THINK I NEED FOURMORE.

I look at the bartenderas I say – “ one more…”

He shrugs giving me aconfused look and I say holding up my fingers to him one by one – “one..two..three..four…I am fine..see I can count my fingers..now please..giveme that shot..”

He shrugs and he putsthe Fifth one in front of Me.

And I am about todunk it down and ihald of it makes its way down my throat – when I feel theglass being pulled away from my hand and I hear Zara’s concerned voice next tome – “ whoaaaaa…khushi…whats wrong…”,and I look at her dazed and I look to theother side and I hear Zain ask the bartender – “ how many has she had??”

The Bartender – “ thatwould be four and a half…”

I see Asher standingbeside Zain.

GREAT.

I GLARE AT HIMANGRILY.

I AM SO FREAKING ANGRYRIGHT NOW.

SO THAT’S WHERE HEWENT – TO GET ZARA AND ZAIN TO ME – BECAUSE HE KNEW I WOULD LISTEN TO THEM ANDNOT HIM.

Zara hugs me from oneside and Zain from another as she asks – “ whats wrong??????? Khushi id like tobelieve that you were taking those shots in order to celebrate my bday and yourCA result…but no…somethings wrong with you…you arrive late first and then you didn’ttake my calls in the last 30 minutes at all even to pick up and tell me thatyou were on the way here and Asher said he spotted you walk in all dazed andlost and that you headed straight to the bar…he tried to stop you from dunkingdown your shots…”

I THINK I HAVE PALEDTO A COLOUR OF A PALE SHEET.

Zain’s concernedvoice comes through – “ Khushi..talk to us..please…last you were here…on thelast mixer you were so happy…the day after your bday..remember how you told ushow your hoodie guy surprised you for the bday and that he flew down halfacross the world to see you…whats wrong now??somethings wrong right?? And itsbecause of this hoodie guy only I am sure..”

TEARS START TO ROLLDOWN MY CHEEKS.

THE ALCOHOL ISSTARTING TO HIT ME TOO.

I THINK I HAVE PALEDTO A COLOUR OF A WHITE SHEET.

Zara’s concernedvoice comes through from the other side as she spoke – “ he did something..tellme…he did something to you?? He hurt you right?? He broke up with you???? I toldyou I had doubts regarding him…”

I close my eyes as I saytears rolling down my cheeks , im trembling and shaking now in Zara’s arms– “noooo…noo…he didn’t ever do anything to me…he would never hurt me…its me who isgoing to have to hurt him for his own good…I have to push him away as in I haveto put us on hold for 11 months…and I have to do it because I love him…and itsgoing to kill me in the processs…”

I open my eyes as I wipemy tears with both my hands and I look at the bartender – “ one more shotplease….”

Zara, Zain and Asherall together state in a immediate voce – “ NOOOOOO…”

I hear Zain say – “Zara..lets get her out of here…to my cabin up on the 7th floor…”

Asher shoves a glassof water into my hand as he says – “ drink it up now..”

I glare at him and I keepthe water on the bar table – “ no…”

I see him gesture toZara to make me drink this water and Zara picks up the glass and she starts tomake me drink the water.

And I feel a little dazedand lost now and a little dizzy too as Zara and Zain help me out of the mixerand I can only lean into Zara as im crying non stop and the three of them getme into the elevator and we are going up.

And I think itsbecause of Zara’s warm embrace around me and the alcohol and the realisation ofthe fact that my perfect world – that had become perfect after so long – has nowturned upside down in just a fraction of a moment of time – so suddenly and ina way that I have to be an active party to it too – makes me break down in Zara’sarms as I hug her tight and I sob my heart out as I clutch onto her hard andshe just holds on to me as she says – “ shhh khushi..shhh…calm down…calmdown..lets get you some water..we are here ok…we are here…lets talk about this ok..”

I continue sobbinginto her and I hear the elevator door open and Zara helps me out and I see Zainand Asher guiding her towards his cabin and Asher keeps the door open for us andZara helps me in and she finally makes me sit on the sofa and she sits next tome and I hug her immediately and I keep crying.

She brushes my hairtenderly as she says – “ khushi..ok fine..cry..cry..but you gotta have somewater ok?? Will you have some water???”

I nod into herembrace.

I hear her say – “ Asherwater please…”

Asher – “ yessss ofcourse..”

Zara – “ Zain…on theac please..shes having a melt down…”

I am freaking such amess right now but these tears won’t stop flowing.

This is almost a MiniPanic Attack.

I cannot even callfor over the counter medication right now – because I have all this alcohol inmy system.

GODAAMIT.

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT IDFIGURED OUT ALL THE ANSWERS – WHY DID LIFE HAVE TO COME AROUND SLYLY AND CHANGETHE BLOODY QUESTION PAPER?????

NOW HOW WAS I GOINGTO BE ABLE TO COPE UP WITH A EXAM QUESTION PAPER WHERE EVERY FREAKING QUESTIONWAS OUT OF SYLLABUS.

HOW WAS I GOING TOSAIL MY SHIP AROUND THIS WHIRLWIND OF BERMUDA TRIANGLE IN ORDER TO MAKE SURETHERES MINIMUM DAMAGE TO MY SAILS AND MY SHIP DOESN’T SINK TOO???

………………………………………

30 Minutes Later

Asher looks at Zaindistraught as he looks at Khushi still sobbing helplessly in Zara’s arms.

Something wasterribly wrong with her.

And he knew it hadeverything to do with her Hoodie Guy – she did mention that she had to push himaway for his own good???

Why??????????????

What nonsense!!!!!

Ok – they had to gether to start talking.

But that would only Happenif she stopped sobbing like that.

And He couldn’t seeher like this.

It was tearing himapart to see her sob like that and all he could do was just watch helplessly.

Well – he had helpeda little – he had poured out the ten glasses of water that Zara had made Khushidrink.

He texts Zain- who isstanding across of him over Zara as she is hugging Khushi.

Asher : Zain- gether to stop crying like that.its been 45 freaking minutes and she wont stop sobbing.Itstearing me apart.

Zain reads the textand he looks up at his friends distressed face.

And he nods at himsilently and he now sits next to Khushi as he hugs her from one side too and hesays – “ khushi..im like a brother to you know…talk to me..tell me whathappened…tell us …whats wrong??? We will help you fix things…why do you feellike you have to push him away???for his own good????? Why should you push awaythe one you love???

Khushi nowstraightens up a little in between Zara and Zain and she dunks down another glassof water that Asher hands to her and she takes a deep breathe as she leans intothe sofa and she says – “ because I love him…”

Zara brushes her hairgently – “ talk to us…”

Khushi takes a deepbreathe and Asher hands her a tissue as he says now taking a seat on the chairopposite  the sofa where Zara and Zainsat with Khushi tucked in the middle – “ please wipe those tears Khushi…”

Khushi nods and takesthe tissue anyway and she says – “ thanks…”,and she closes her eyes as she says– “ so me and hoodie guy..its like its not just this distance ok..its like ourwhole worlds are different from each other like in every way you name it ifhoodie guy is this I am the dang opposite..its like we are these two people livingin this two different parallel worlds across the globe and we met almost overnine months ago and connected like magic..and we were managing it so well – it feltlike our bonds so strong it can withstand all this test of distance andeverything and it still feels like that – but hes everything to me now..i lovehim so muchhh and today before I came to this mixer I had someone very importantfrom his Life come see me and they told me that I was kind of now starting tobe like a distraction to my hoodie guy as in distracting him from his very importantchallenging job as in you know how he left those two very super importantmeetings to come see me half across the globe..and this person is like you cansay my hoodie guys well wisher ok..like a guru..and he said that at this pointof his career this is not good for him..as in……if I don’t put  a hold to this for the next 11 months atleast-it can impact my hoodie guys career is a very bad way and I cant let thathappen because he has worked so hard for almost a decade for this and he loveshis job so so so much too as in hes been working for it forever but…”,and shepauses ad Asher hands another tissue to her and she wipers the fresh line oftears that were now flowing down her cheeks – “ but he loves me very deeply tooand hes often told me that he could step away from his job but not from me andnow its like if he hears about this he will quit everything I know he will giveit all up and turn everything upside down for himself – I know hed do that forme in a fraction of a second without even thinking that hes worked hard for adecade for this job which was everything to him until I came along – and idrather die than to have something like this happen to him because of me, and soI told this person who came to see me that I would find a way out of handlingthings in between me and hoodie guy and try to put a hold on us for 11 months, butthat’s whats killing me now I have to do this because I love him and I don’t knowwhat to say to him because he will never believe something like my feelingshave changed or long distance is taxing – id rather die than to give those twostupid reasons too him – its like I can’t end this…that is neverhappeneing..its like...i just have to figure out a way of making him get angrywith me or something maybe…something that he will be mad at me for that longand that will make him shift all that frustration and anger into his job bydefault as I know how it works for him , because I know him in and out and thenthat way he can concentrate on his job in the meanwhile and after 11 months thisperson said he will tell my hoodie guy everything that he asked this off me….andso even if its going to kill me to do this to myself..i have to make him getangry at me for sometime…because I love him so so so much…id rather die to havehim ruin his entire decades work because of me..and its also going to kill meto do so..so its like im dead anyway…”,and she now returns to sobbing as sheleans her head into the sofa’s backrest

Zara looks at Asherand she gives him a – this-girl-is-unbeleivalble- look  and Asher nods in acknowldgement.

He is awe of whateverhe has just heard.

How is it possiblefor someone like her to even exist in this day and age???????????????

Zara asks concerned –“ ok khushi so whats so important about these 11 months what will change afterthese 11 months???”

Khushi straightens alittle in the sofa and she looks at the three of them as she says – “ so its like – this entire next 11 months is like the most important assignments linedup for him and the major one is like right towards the end of that bit and thatsthe one his guru is most concerned about too because he says that- that is one assignment my hoodie guy has never aced in and its kind off a rare opportunity…and I know that is the truth and also 11 months because by then I still have to finish my second management accountant degree by June,and I don’t mind giving it up now itself and shift my whole life for my hoodie guy – but I cant do that also because he wont let me – my dreams are very important to him too he knows this was my late fathers dream too and he’s often hinted to me that it would really make him guilty and that he totally feels like its unfair to his love for me if he expects this off me before that timeline for myself in June until I get that degree..so its like the next 7 months he wont let me shift anyway and if I even try he will drill me to know why because he knows that I would never take a step like that due to any other reason other than him and if he finds out about his guru coming to find me its like hell will break loose on another level…so he cannot know..like no ways, and I always tell him everything, like everything, I have never hidden a thing from him and now I have to hide this also from him…god ya….this is killing me already..”

Asher hands her another tissue, his heart going out to her.

It really was tearing him apart to see her like this distraught and distressed and he hands heranother tissue as fresh tears leave her eyes as she picks up a glass of waterand she finishes gulping it out and then she places it on the table with somuch force that it cracks in her hand and a glass piece pierces into her handand Zain , Zara and Asher say immediately – “ khushiiiiiii….dammit…”

Asher feels like he’s had it.

He cant see her likethis anymore and he says – “ just call him dammit tell him the freaking truth…lethim quit his job if he wants to its his decision Khushi…you can’t make thatdeicison for him..”

Zain – “ asher get methe first aid kit from that cabinet please…”

And he immediatelywalks over to Zains cabinet and gets the kit and walks back quickly and shovesit to Zain and Zara starts to tend to Khushi’s wound on her hand.

Khushi helps Zara getthe piece of glass out of her hand and she looks at Asher and she says – “ I can’tbe so selfish..i cant have him give up his entires life work for me right atthe most crucial time..i know it might sound foolish…because its like imkilling myself but I cant…I love him way too much for that..its like you maythink I am the greatest fool in the world right now..but that’s just what myheart is guiding me to do..because I truly do love him with all I have..there isn’tanything in the world for him that I would not do…and so I just have to figureout what to say to him …”,and she pauses as she looks at Zain – “ and a lot ofthis is also my fault because its like I have this freaking phobia after thatair crash that killed my family…dammit..i cant get on the bloody plane yet…togo see him and visit him..its like I knew it first only only within that thiswas very unfair for him for him having to fly in all the time…and I think I amalso going to seek my old counsellors help in order to overcome my anxietyfaster…because anyway to even make that shift to India for him – I have to geton a plane na…theres bloody seven seas in between of us..”

Asher was amazed at thisdisplay of emotion and so were Zara and Zain and Zara asks softly – “ and  your fathers resuturant?? That you dream tobuy back???”

Khushi nods – “ yesthat is still there…I mean I can keep earning and saving whichever part of the worldI am in and then when I have the funds – I buy it and then I can hand it toRahul and Uncle to run and take care off it – that is my biggest dream you allknow that and I will achieve it one day – that’s my I work so much anyway and Ican give up on a little part of that dream of running it myself physically -formy hoodie guy – that I can do – because I cant be in India and Cape Town at thesame time in long term na…

Zara looks at her asshe says – “ so what do you think you will say to him??”

And right then Khushi’sphone beeps.

And she picks up herphone as she see’s Arnav’s message and fresh tears ooze out her eyes ,as shesays – “ see its my hoodie guy…hes messaging to say that I haven’t texted himin over an hour again and if I was ok..because he knows I cant even go 15minutes without texting him..and now 11 months…god kill me please…”,and she typesback into her phone reassuring Arnav that she is fine and that her phonesbattery is low and that’ why she was not able to text because she knows hewould want her to have battery until she reached home safe and she groans asshe finishes -“ what do I say to him…??????just what can I say to him????”

Asher looks at herdistraught face and he cant see her like this anymore and he asks immediately –“ he knows you are at the mixer obviously???”

Khushi nods.

Asher – “ and heknows its Zara’s bday right?? And your CA result is out too..”

Khushi nods – “ofcourse he knows everything..he even told me to let loose and get high todayand he said ask Zain to drop you home after…”

Asher – “ well theressomething you can say that I think will make him mad..and angry at you…but..youcan out it across in a way that the more impact of that anger is not on you..”

Zain looks at Asherand so does Zara as they ask – “ what do you mean???”

Asher sighs as helooks at Khushi and says – “ well just tell him I was drunk and  you were a little high too ,and I kissed you….”

Khushi’s eyes widen asshe asks shocked – “ whattttt??????????????????????”

Asher shrugs – “ welltell him that you pushed me away like 5 seconds later or something because itwas such a sudden shock and that’s how you hurt your hand because the glass inyour hand kind of broke in shock too..”

Zara nods – “ yes I thinkyou can say that ..ook khushi in this long distance this happens to a lot ofpeople..i know..as in you know with the affect of alcohol sometimes…and you cantotally say that Asher kissed you..you didn’t kiss him back but it was likesuch a shock to you so it took you a couple of seconds to recollect until youfinally got to pushing him away..”

Khushi looks at Zaraand Asher and then at Asher as she asks – “ whyyy??? Why do you want to seemlike the wrong one in here for no reason????????????you do know you will beinviting his curses towards you for months…I mean I know my hoodie guy..he willkill you if he ever sees you..”

Zain sighs – “ lookKhushi you look drunk and sloshed anyway..i mean we know that the impact ofalcohol has worn out with the water but you look wearied down to another levelright now..and to be honest my cabin has cameras so everything that’s happenedinhere ever since we stepped in is already recorded, and this footage is onlyvisible to me..so I will keep it safe and sound and whenever you say its timewe can give this to you to show to your hoodie guy and he will know the truthanyway…that even that 5 second mistake from your end didn’t happen…”

Zara nods as shesays- “ look the way the two of love each other I don’t think he would everwant to throw away what you both feel for a five second mistake in which youhave a lesser hand anyway..i mean he will be mad at you ofcourse..but that’s exactlywhat you want right?????”

Khushi nods and rightthen – everything about Ravi and Anjali’s scene starts to get into her head andshe does remember all the discussion Arnav and Her had had about theirsituation lately.

And she takes a deepbreathe – “ I don’t know I need to think about this..i will talk to him throughotherwise first..like this will be the last thing I turn too…I just need to seemy hoodie guy now…like..i just need to be with him to talk this through…imgoing to try all the other things first…hopefully that will work and that itwont come to me having to say this to him…”,and she pauses and she turns toZain as she says – “ Zain..please take me home now..i will come by here to theoffice’s parking area for my car tomorrow morning..i cant drive right now..”

Asher takes a deepbreathe as he says to Zain – “ Zain, Zara, take her home please…”

Zara nods and she nowgestures Zain to start taking Khushi out and that she will follow.

Zain nods and Khushinods politely at Asher as she leaves with Zain.

Zara looks at Asheras she folds her hands across her chest and she looks at her best friend – “you are in deep trouble…you know that right???? Because every freakingexpression on your face tonight – ever since you saw Khushi like that told mesomething that you probably haven’t figured out but your eyes have given youaway to me..i am your best friend no one knows you better Asher…”

Asher sighs as he foldshis arms and leans against Zain’s desk – “ I have figured it out Zara..and I knowI am in trouble…”

Zara points at hisheart as she says – “ you are the most ethical man I have ever met in all of mylife, you never do the wrong thing, you never cross the lines, be it personalor business and today – only because you felt it could be a better solution youoffered to look like the bad guy??you freaking love her don’t you???????shes inthere..in your heart…godammit asher…you know theres no chance…”

Asher nods – “ yes I thinkI love her…and I know I have no chance Zara…I will be ok…I am definetly goingto make sure that the girl I love gets to her happiness as soon as possible andonce I am done with that and I see her happy and smiling with her hoodie guyagain..i will be able to move on…but I need her to be ok first…”

Zara looks at him surprised– “ well if Khushi is unbelievable and so is her hoodie guy and so is thisbloody situation…you are freaking unbelievable too…”

Asher shrugs – “ whatsunbelievable Zara..i cant help it if my hearts fallen in love with her..i cantbe blind to the fact that my life has never been the same ever since I mether..and its pretty cliché I know to be caught up in a situation like this…and Idon’t have any regrets honestly she is the most priceless girl iv ever met andim happy that my hearts kind of beat this way for someone like her..and I wanther to be happy..and I swear to god..i am going to hunt down this hoodie guy ofhers first thing out as she gives me the signal and bring him to her myself…”,andhe pauses as he says- “ now cmon just take Khushi home please…”

Zara rolls her eyes –“ freaking unbeleiavble…un-freaking-beleiavable…”

Asher nods – “ I know…”,andhe watches Zara starting to walk out and he says – “ message me when you dropher home safe and sound please…”

Zara nods – “ I will…”

And Asher standsthere in Zains cabin for a while looking out the glass window towards the citysky line.

Never in his life hadhe ever thought that his heart would beat with love for someone for the firsttime ever and that – that someone was someone who could never be his.

But if hed realisedanything today in this room while listening to girl he loved talk about the wayshe loved her Hoodie Guy – it was that it really was true what they about the magicalpower of Love afterall.

That Love does crazythings to you.

It drives you nutsand insane.

It makes you dostupid blunders – Happily.

 And that  its only Love that has that magical power to  actually make you believe – that the otherpersons happiness is more important than your own.

…………………..

Tadaaaaa guyssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK OK OK OKGuyssssssssssssss.

DON’T KILL MEPLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

JUST TRUST ME ON THISUNTIL YOU GET THE UPDATE TOMORROW.

Please keep yourcomments coming in guys – I would love to know what you all think anyway.

What do you thinkabout Khushi’s situation?? And fix????

I shall see you withan update tomorrow too.

Much Love Guys.

Always.

Please ignore theediting errors as I haven’t proof read.

…………………………

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