Chapter 15

Aishwarya: lol, as long as it's helping you in class rather than causing you trouble!

**

Coming down the steps of her college, Naina smiles as she sees Raj waiting for her by his jeep. She lifts her hand to wave at him and he waves back but his face remains serious.

"What's wrong?" She asks when she reaches him, able to tell by his expression that something is definitely not right.

"Nothing too serious," Raj promises her, placing a hand on her shoulder reassuringly, "I don't have any more classes for today, why don't we go somewhere?"

Naina nods, smiling even more now. They hardly ever get a chance to go out anywhere together they're both so busy, so it's nice when they can finally have a moment together alone.

He takes her to one of the city's largest parks, and the stroll for awhile before settling on a bench in front of a pond.

"Actually I've got some bad news," he admits.

"What is it?" Naina asks worriedly, thinking that it might be something serious…

"Well in one way it's good and in the other it's bad." Raj clarifies his earlier statement, "Actually my Godfather and his daughter Sherry are coming to visit for Diwali."

"Oh," Naina says, trying to work out why this is bad news, and then she understands. "So we'll have to cancel our trip to see my mother? Well… it's okay, she'll understand, we'll go and see her next holiday." She tries to hide how disappointed she is, knowing that he hasn't seen his godfather or the girl he thinks of as his sister for quite some time now.

"Actually Naina, I think you should still go and visit your mother for Diwali." Raj tells her, "I know how much you've missed her and it's going to be difficult for her if she has to spend the holiday season alone. I just feel bad that I won't be able to go with you."

"But," Naina starts to say, but Raj interrupts her before she can continue.

"You'll definitely meet them both another time," he promises her, "And I'm sure they'll understand, especially as he only told me today and there's just a week left for Diwali. I just wish you didn't have to go all that way alone…"

"I did come all this way alone," Naina tells him, a small smile on her face, "And I was fine then."

"I know… but still." Raj tells her, and she can't help but feel a sense of affection for the way that he's reluctant to send her anywhere alone as if he's worried that something will happen to her.

"Don't worry about anything," Naina tells him, "Just enjoy your time with your godfather and sister."

Raj nods, still with an expression on his face that clearly says he would prefer it to have worked out differently.

"Well if it's been decided now, then why don't we go and have some cake." He tells her, gesturing to the caf nearby, and Naina walks beside him. And when Raj places his arm around her shoulders, she doesn't feel awkward or embarrassed, because finally, the gesture just seems so… right.

**

At her English lesson with Aalekh that night, she notices that he seems a bit quieter than normal, and she would say… almost sad.

"Is something wrong, Aalekh?" she asks him, and when he sees the genuine concern in her eyes, he feels that maybe… it's alright if he tells her.

"No…" he begins to say, and then changes his mind, "It's just that around Diwali time I remember my Ma…."

"You loved her a lot, didn't you?" Naina asks him gently.

"We never had much money, but no matter what, every Diwali she would buy me some new clothes… and small crackers… she would never get anything for herself, never… and I always wanted, that one day, I could be the one to buy her a Diwali present."

But he had never gotten the opportunity.

He doesn't feel the need to add this, he knows that Naina will understand.

"What will you do for this Diwali?" Naina asks him, "Do you have anywhere to go?"

"I'll be right here at KMA…" Aalekh says dully, and then seeing the look on Naina's face, tries to make it sound better. "Suriji told me we could make some good food on that day." He tells her, "Suriji is a great guy… never judges me…"

Naina nods, but she's unable to stop thinking that everybody should have a home to go to… everybody should have a family that they can spend the holidays with.

She's still thinking about it an hour later when she walks back into hers and Raj's room, and putting her books down, she asks him before she can lose her courage.

"What if I took Aalekh home with me for Diwali?" she asks, and as he looks at her consideringly, she takes a breath, expecting to have to justify her suggestion. But before she can say anything, Raj beats her to it.

"I'll go and buy him a ticket tomorrow," he tells her, "I think it's a wonderful idea."

"Really? Then you wouldn't mind?" Naina asks him, amazed that she doesn't even have to explain.

"Of course not," Raj tells her, "I think it's one of the most thoughtful things I've ever heard, and this way I don't have to worry about you traveling alone either."

And Naina just gazes at him, because he's the most understanding person she's ever met, and she can't help but think exactly how lucky she is to have him.

And the look in her eyes almost makes Raj feel like blushing, because he's never seen her look at him that way before, and it's lucky that she looks away again, otherwise he has no idea what he might do next.

**

Later that night before lights out, Raj searches for Aalekh and finds him in the games room with the rest of his friends.

"Could I speak to you for a minute, Cadet Aalekh?" he asks him, and Aalekh follows him outside the room.

"What is it, Sir?" he asks Raj.

"You don't have any plans for Diwali, do you?" Raj asks him.

"What plans could I have…" Aalekh replies, "I'll be right here."

"Actually I wanted to know if you could do me a favour," Raj tells him, "You see Naina is going home to visit her mother and I can't go with her because my godfather and sister are coming to visit me… so I wanted to know if you would be willing to go with her?"

Aalekh stares at him with such a look of surprise on his face that Raj's heart goes out to the young man. It's obvious that Aalekh has had kind things done for him far too seldom in life.

"Sir," Aalekh finally replies, "I don't think it's me doing you a favour in this situation."

"Even if we are doing you a favour there's nothing wrong with that," Raj tells him calmly, "Sometimes it doesn't hurt to accept favours in life. And besides my mind really will be more at ease if you travel with her, it's quite a long way."

"And Naina?" Aalekh asks him, "Won't I be getting in the way between her and her Ma?"

"Not at all," Raj tells him, "In fact I think Mrs Ah… Naina's mother would be quite happy to have another guest for Diwali."

"Then thank you, Sir…" Aalekh tells him so sincerely, that Raj can't help but feel emotional, "It would be nice to go home with Naina for Diwali."

**

As soon as the gang of cadets had found out that Aalekh was going home with Naina, they had waited until he was gone and then looked at each other awkwardly. "You stupid insensitive missed calls," Pooja scolded them, "Didn't any of you think of asking him to go home with you for Diwali? Didn't you realise he'd be here by himself?"

"Well why didn't you ask him, Punajaben?" Huda asks her defensively, "You could've asked him home too."

"Uh, hello, you cross connection, I'm a girl, I can't take Aalekh home with me." Pooja told him, rolling her eyes.

"Well why is Naina taking him home with her then?" Yudi asked.

"Yudi, Naina is married." Pooja tells him as if he's an idiot, "Obviously her Ma isn't going to assume something about her and Aalekh as would've been the case if I took him home."

"Pooja is right," Ali says thoughtfully, "We really should've thought about Aalekhbhai, we were forgetting him in our own happiness."

"Well he's going with Naina now," Yudi says shrugging, "I'll invite him to my place next time."

But they all felt so bad about it that for the next few days everyone was extremely nice to Aalekh. Well, Huda soon forgot very quickly that he was meant to be being nice, and went back to his normal ways.

The days passed quickly as everyone became more and more excited to be getting a holiday and visiting their families.

Even Ali, who is even more quiet than usual since he is tired from fasting, can't help talking about his family to anybody who will listen. Luckily since Eid is coinciding with Diwali that year he'll be able to be with his family for the festival.

Pooja is the only one who seems worried, as it's the first time she's been home since joining the academy and she's worried about how her family will behave with her over the issue of Rohit.

Naina can see an obvious change in her since the time they met, she now mentions Rohit less often and is more reluctant to say that he was the reason she joined this academy. She's stopped talking about not having a lifetime plan here and has started paying more attention to her training and studies.

And she continues to spend quite a bit of time with Ali.

In fact Naina has noticed that Pooja will delay taking her meals until the time of iftaar, then taking them with Ali after he's done his namaz. The others do this sometimes do, but occasionally won't wait when they're really hungry. Pooja, no matter how hungry she is, always waits.

But Naina doesn't say anything, doesn't pass any comment. If Pooja wants any advice, then Naina knows that she'll come to her.

Naina can't wait to see her mother again, she's missed her, and more than that, she's worried about how she'll be coping on her own. But there's also a strange feeling when she thinks about going home for those three days, because it will be the first time that she'll have been without Raj since she came to KMA.

She realises that in that time she's gotten used to him being there, whenever she wants to talk to him, whenever she needs any reassurance. They talk more and more these days, about the past, about Navin, about Raj's childhood and Naina's life before her brother's death.

They talk and yet much still remains unsaid.

Naina wonders when she'll ever find the courage to say it, to tell him all the things that she keeps within her heart, all the hurt that she's experienced over the years, all the disappointments. She wonders whether she'll find the courage to tell him how it is that she's begun to feel now, as if finally she has found some safety in life, some certainty.

Because Raj and her mother are the only two people who Naina trusts completely in this world.

**

The day finally came when Naina and Aalekh were scheduled to leave along with the rest of the cadets who were going home to their families. Raj had been restless all day, unsure of how he should say farewell to her, how these few days will pass without her there. When he wakes up in the morning, the first thing he sees is her face, carefree in sleep on the pillow beside his. And if he's rolled over in the night, placing his arm over her, he will remove it gently, careful not to wake her and then watch her as the dawn light filters in, only getting up to leave for his jog when the feeling of contentment has fully set in.

And he will miss seeing her at the end of the day, hearing about her classes and telling her about the cadets and their latest pranks, who got in trouble with Major Nair and had to hold their ears in front of Suriji.

He will miss her smiling at him in a way that she tends to more and more often these days, with such a strange mixture of affection and trust that every time he hopes she'll smile at him that way again soon.

And finally, Raj reminds himself that after all, it will only be for three days, after which she'll be back with him at the academy and everything will resume as normal.

But still, he has no idea how he's meant to cope by himself in those three days.

He drives them to the bus station after classes leave, Aalekh's bag is quite a bit smaller than Naina's, and as soon as they reach the station, only fifteen minutes to spare, he says goodbye to Raj and wishes him a happy Diwali before wandering towards the bus, obviously wanting to give them some privacy.

And Raj realises that he never decided what the best way to say goodbye to her would be and he stands there awkwardly, wanting to hug her but not knowing how she would feel about it.

And looking at him, Naina guesses exactly what he's thinking, because in the time they've been together, he's always looked to her to set the tone of their relationship.

"I wish you were coming with us," she told Raj, "Ma really does miss you too, you know. She was looking forward to seeing you after such a long time."

"I know," Raj tells her a bit sadly, "I had looked forward to seeing her too, but definitely we'll go together next holiday. Wish her a happy Diwali from me."

"Then… I hope you have a good Diwali, and that you have a good time with your sister and your godfather."

Raj nods, a lump appearing in his throat. He tells himself that he's being silly, after all it's three days, not a lifetime. Before this they were separated for two years.

But that was different, because they didn't know each other then.

Naina steps forward and puts her arms around him loosely, hugging him softly and Raj hugs her back, grateful that she made the move so that he didn't have to work out whether he should or not.

It's the first time he's ever hugged her properly, and he can't help pressing her closer, one hand on the lower half of her back and one on the upper half.

The announcement comes that her bus is about to leave, and unable to help himself Raj kisses her goodbye on the cheek, it's the briefest of contacts, but still his skin tingles afterwards and Naina gazes at him with a look that he's never seen before.

But before he can work it out, she's already on the bus and as she sits down next to the window, she presses her hand against the bus to bid him goodbye and Raj waves until the bus is out of sight.

On the bus, Naina sighs and leans back, smiling at Aalekh as if to say 'we're on our way', before closing her eyes briefly.

She can still feel his lips on her skin.

Naina wonders whether it's possible for the feeling to remain until she returns.

She certainly hopes so.