Part 9
Muskaan and Naazneen are in their room…both are half lying on the bed…..Muskaan is going through a file while Naazneen is checking a magazine…
Naazneen: Muski…..wo Singhania project ki meeting kyu attend nahi ki tune…
Muskaan(engrossed in file): kaunsi meeting Naaz…….
Naazneen: wahi jo…29th of January ko scheduled thi….(she is looking straight at Muskaan)
Muskaan realizes what she is hinting at….: emm…wo…maine Abhey uncle se kaha tha ki…wo…us…din….meri….dusri meetings hai….
Naazneen: par teri to us din koi meeting nahi thi…infact you were missing from office as well as from home the whole day…
Muskaan is quite.
Naazneen: where were you the whole day Muskaan???
Muskaan is still quite.
Naazneen: I am asking you something….have the nerve to answer me….
Muskaan: I had some important work…..i don't want to tell you about everything I do…
Naazneen(angrily getting up): I know where you were the whole day Muskaan…You just wanted to isolate yourself that day as usual and spend the whole day in some remote corner thinking about your mom and her death the whole day? Wasnt it??
Muskaan: YA IT WAS! (she too gets up) ….yes it was….tujhe pata hai to puch kyu rahi hai…(her eyes get num)
Naazneen calms down and goes to her. She holds Muskaan by her shoulders and makes her sit on the bed.
Naazneen: this is not done Muskaan….kyu aisa kar rahi hai apne saath….when will you learn to move on…
Muskaan(eyes are very num): move on??? How do I move on Naaz?? How do I…(starts crying now) the gaps that…it has left in my life….cant be forgotten….because I am living with it…..with the consequences….every moment…..
Naazneen affectionately touches her cheek….: Muskaan…I understand…I understand completely….par tu aisa soch na…ki aaj nahi to kal ya hona hi tha…..everyone has to leave the world some day…….tu achi yaadein yaad rakh na…….buri nahi……..
Muskaan is still crying.
Naazneen: Muskaan plz samajh….she is no more….but we are still alive….and we cant see you like this…..(tears are flowing down her eyes too)
Naazneen: plz Muskaan….ek koshish to kar…..
Muskaan: karti hu Naaz…. puri koshish karti hu….ki apna har gum bhula kar….apni sari responsibilities puri karu…. Abbu ki taraf…..Imran ki… ghar ki taraf…har cheez me….mumma se kiya waada pura karu….par mein…mein apna kya karu Naaz…..sab ko sambhal leti hu….khudko nahi sambhal pati…(crying even badly now)
Naazneen takes her in a hug….and caresses her hair.
Muskaan: mein kya karu Naaz…(her voice is choking)….baki…. sare din bhi….mein kisi tarh apne aap ko samjha lu…par…us ek…din…jab…sab kuch khatam ho gaya tha….mein….bohot….weak ho jati hu…..sab kuch mere samne akar khada ho jata hai….yaad ajata hai….mumma ka…wo pyaar…wo care….affection mere liye….unka hamesha saath hone…..aur ab jo…. I am struggling alone with life….realize hota hai ki….ki kitni… akeli pad gayi hu mein….
Naazneen(trying her best to comfort her): aisa nahi kehte Muski….kya hum sab nahi hai tere saath…kabhi akele chodte hai kya tujhe….
Muskaan: pata nahi Naaz…but I cant help….there is a big gap that I feel in my life….
Naazneen separates her now and affectionately wipes her tears….: zindagi aisi nahi ji jati Muskaan…jaise koi boj tale dabe ho…tu kitni badal gayi hai itne salo me….humari hasti khelti bachcho jaisi Muskaan to kahi hai hi nahi abhi…..bas ek formality jaise life ji rahi hai tu…..bas ghar…office….aur sabka dhyan rakhna…apni hobbies…liveliness…lifestyle…friends…kuch yaad bhi hai tujhe….kaise thi tu…..you were so full of life….aur ab to jaise hasna tak theek se nahi ata………aur khud ko jaan bhuj kar khushiyon se dur rakhti hai….jaise khush rehne se dar lagta ho tujhe….apne har armaan ko…sapne ko….apne andar kahi daba diya hai…..kya mein notice nahi karti…………….this is not the way Muskaan………this is not done……
Muskaan stares at her…..realizing what she said is true…..she has changed a lot in these years….she herself feels to be a different person…..sach me apne armaano ko….sapno ko…. kahi chupa diya hai usne….zyada khushiyon se dar lagne laga hai use…..she has left her life….her happiness…..far behind….....her life only revolves around her family now…..
She gets back to reality….and gets up….: nahi Naaz… (turns the other side)….me khush hoon….tum sab ho na mere saath….bohot khush hoon…….(turns back)…… chal neeche jate hai….chachi ke paas…theek se mili bhi nahi unse…….wait…I will just….freshen up….( bolkar she walks away to the bathroom….without looking even once at Naaz)
While Naazneen just looks at her walking away…she lightly closes her eyes…….: o God….please help her…..she has forgotten the meaning of happiness itself……
Here ends the next part….I hope it didn't bore u much….but this was such an important aspect of Muskaan's life….that I had to go a little deep….
Comments are eagerly awaited..
Luv ya,
sana
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