Meet Me On The Horizon

Meet Me On The Horizon

What’s the parameter that differentiates reality from imagination? Looking at the person standing in front of her, Kajal felt desperate to know the answer. The warmth and peace that began to overwhelm her conscience could point to only one direction, right? She walked towards him and touched his face with shaking hands. It wasn’t a dream! He truly had come! “Didn’t I promise you that whenever you’ll think of me, you’ll always find me standing by your side?” Neel said smiling. Tears started rolling down her eyes and before she knew it, she found herself hugging him while the latter stroked her hair gently. “What took you so long?” “The climax. After all, there’s a reason why heroes enter at the very last moment.” He wiped her tears and shook his head in a reassuring way. 

“Why do you like to tease me so much?” “Just so I can get you out of this 24/7 savior mode of yours and help you relax.” He caressed her face lovingly. “Why Neel Ji?” “What why?” “Why did you come back?” “Because I love you!” He asserted with absolute certainty. “Still? After everything I put you through? “Once upon a time, a great woman told me that we may not have any control over how others feel about us but we can choose to be loving and forgiving. I was simply following her advice.” “Neel Ji…” “Some questions don’t have an answer because that’s just the way it is. It might seem cruel, you may get angry about it but you have no other option than accepting it because it’s destiny, as you are mine. I can’t stop loving you even if I want to. I tried, believe me, I wanted to destroy everything that reminded me of you but I couldn’t. It just doesn’t work that way.” Although Neel tried to sound casual, the pain in his eyes didn’t escape Kajal’s notice.

“The day you refused to come home with me, I… It kind of sent me into a frenzy. Through thick and thin, whenever I needed a friend or the support of my wife, you were always there for me. I guess that’s why I couldn’t comprehend how that one grave but unintentional mistake took its toll on our relationship. I used to stay up all night, alone, dejected, going through your letter a thousand times so that I got some sort of clue regarding where had I gone wrong, what could I have possibly done to change your mind. At times I got really mad at you. I’ve lost count of how many times I wanted to tear your letter to shreds but I couldn't. It’s kind of a funny story, you know. On one hand, I found comfort in your writing as you said you would love me till your last breath. While on the other hand, I felt anguished that despite knowing everything you chose to stay aloof to my suffering.”

“I am sorry!” She cried out. “I never wanted to hurt you Neel Ji. But I was scared. I thought…” “Hey, look at me.” He tilted her chin and made her face him. “It wasn’t your fault that I was such an idiot.” He took her hands in his and continued, “I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that it never occurred to me how my words affected you. I stood by you when it was convenient for me but the moment the road became rocky, I lashed out. I was a privileged individual Kaju. Yes, I didn’t want Papa’s help in establishing my career but I had the assurance that if I fell, I had my parents, my brother, my friends to help me through it. You had no one. You had to land on your feet all on your own. And look at the irony, instead of applauding you for that, we always belittled your roots and made you feel unworthy of me.” He looked down to hide his tears. 

“I have been wrong Kaju, on so many different levels. I did like Pavitra. And I knew what our marriage meant to you. I was there when you bared your heart to Satyakam Uncle. But instead of clarifying my stance, I ended up complicating both of your lives. I just assumed Pavitra would understand everything and expected you to forget whatever happened between us. I didn’t fall out of love with Pavitra because you came between us. It happened due to the communication gap between us. If Pavitra was wrong to come under Bhoomi’s influence then I too was equally responsible for giving an outsider the scope to manipulate the situation. Now when I think about it I feel ashamed.” “Neel Ji…”  

“Even when I didn’t have any romantic feelings for you, I always knew we shared something special. The way you understood me without me ever having to tell you about my feelings and supported me in my decisions, the way you accepted not only me but every single person I held dear as your own, I simply couldn’t picture my life without you in it. I became selfish, to the extent that I ignored how you were getting perished under the burden of my expectations and how deeply problematic it was to expect Pavitra to accept I was more attached to you than I could ever be with her.” “I admit the situation was complicated. But you weren’t the only one to blame. We all had our share of mistakes.” “Probably. But that doesn’t exempt me from repeating the same mistakes with you.” “What are you talking about!” 

“You made me feel so secure in our relationship that I completely overlooked how hard you were trying to come out of your trauma. I might have saved your life but my indecision, my foolishness… I can’t even begin to understand how excruciating it must have been for you to stay calm and have such unwavering faith in me. One way or another, I ended up with the one I longed for and moved on. I never took a moment to sit down and come clean to you about my feelings. Except for our relationship status and perhaps my cognizant acceptance of your importance in my life, nothing really changed between us. What chance did we have when all I’ve ever done was reaffirm your fear over and over again?” 

“It doesn’t matter Neel Ji. At the end of the day, I was the one who gave up on our marriage without giving you a chance to explain yourself.” “And you had every reason to do that. I went on and on about how important you were to me, which to be honest wasn’t much different from what I had said or done before. If you felt I returned out of obligation, or that I still loved you as a friend, and with time I’d get over you, I couldn’t blame you for that. It was my responsibility to make you confident in our relationship and I failed at that, spectacularly.” “At least you tried. What did I do? I thought signing those divorce papers must have been the hardest thing I ever had to do but when I pushed you away it felt like…” She couldn’t complete her sentence and burst into tears while he tried to comfort her. 

“I had a choice. I could hold your hand and fight against all odds. Instead, I gave into my fear and chose a lifetime of misery for both of us.” “Why are you so insistent on making it your fault?” “Because it is my fault. You deserve better than me Neel Ji. You deserve someone who will always choose you over herself.” “And I have found her.”  He cupped her face and made her face him, “It’s you! It has always been you! I know how you’ve spent this last year. I may not have revealed myself but I was there with you every step of the way. I saw you crying yourself to sleep and then picking up your pieces every morning. I witnessed the joy you found in your dance and then saw you shattering. I wanted to come back a long time ago. But before that, I had to fix what I had broken.” His voice choked, reminiscing the horror. 

“I wish I could turn back time and go back to where we started, be the man you dreamed of being together with. I know I can’t change what happened in the past but at least let me try to build a better future and make up for the lost time.”  “I’m not…” “I know you have concerns. I don’t blame you for that. All I’m asking is another chance. Please! Let me be a part of your life!” “I can't do that.” His face turned pale at her reply. “I can't you be a part of my life because you are my life! I love you Neel Ji!” She put her arms around him and pulled him into her embrace. “As I love you Kajal Bhatt!” 

“Bhatt?” “I don't want to force my identity on you. I want people to recognize you for your talent, not just as my wife.” “Fair enough. But I want both.” She said assertively. “Neither do I want to let go of my roots, nor can I separate my identity from the one who taught me how to live. The world will have to acknowledge both. I'll make sure it does. That's a promise from Kajal Bhatt Khurana.” “Kajal Bhatt Khurana! I like that very much!” He lifted her up and twirled around in excitement. “Slow down!” “I’m sorry!” He put her down and smiled shyly. 

“So, what now?” “A lot of things actually. First, we have to inform the family members and find a common ground so…” Neel continued talking about his to-do list while Kajal looked at him adoringly. “Wouldn’t it be fun? Living with both sides of our family?” “Yes. But seeing the glimmer in your eyes, I can’t help but feel there’s more to your excitement than our evenly allocated time.” “Aren’t you the best!” He hugged her excitedly. “Ever since I was a kid, I always imagined myself settling down in the mountains someday. I admired their spirit for they taught me how to be enormous yet grounded despite their enormity. Never had I imagined one day I would find my home in its lap - you! No matter how tired one gets, home is where one finds his happiness. And today I give you my word, no matter how long it takes, no matter how difficult the path becomes, I will always find my way back to you!”

With tears in her eyes, she nodded at him and pressed her horsehead against his. He was right. People often gave the metaphor of the sky and the earth to imply how they were doomed to remain separated forever. Little did they know, it was their destiny to meet at the end of the horizon, creating the most beautiful sight of all.  And as she lay in his arms, feeling his heart racing at her touch, she knew she was ready for their new chapter to begin, with more love and more understanding as a brand new future was awaiting them…

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