Chapter 5

[MEMBERSONLY]

Part 3; Forgiveness

One week later (July 26 2025)

Daya was in his car contemplating wether he shoud talk to DCP sir or not... A week ago he would have made this decision easily because he knew that Sudhakar and Asha would accompany him to talk with DCP sir the next day ......then they got busy with paperwork and the day became a week.........just this morning Sudhakar and Asha were out on a urgent business and DCP sir hasn't come to work in a week......so Daya  decided it was time to talk to him and informed Asha and Sudhakar before they left and proceeded towards DCP sir's house.......but now he wasn't so sure.......the thought of facing DCP sir was daunting enough , he was going to talk about his personal stuff and he wasn't great at giving big emotional speeches........he has never done that before with anyone except Abhijeet. ......And yet he found himself ringing DCP sir's doorbell..........

DCP sir answered the door........he looked fine.....well dressed and everything........but Daya could tell that DCP sir was not well..........

"Come in Daya , to what do I owe this unannounced visit?"

"I came to see whether you were all right sir....you haven't been to work in a week"

"Well.....I wanted to take a break - where's my manners? Please sit down .....Do you want anything to drink? Coffee? Tea?"

"No sir it's fine"

"Hmmmm.....ok"

"Sir about last week-"

"What about it?"

"The things that the criminal said-"

"Please Daya , let's not talk about that"

"Magar sir-"

"Bas Daya! What do you want me to say about it? That I've forgotten all about it? No I haven't ! Because whatever that maniac said was true .....I am a monster"

"Sir-"

"What? You're going to tell me about my duty as a cop and what I did was right and I shouldn't feel bad? Flash news I do! I killed my son and I'm left all alone now........my wife couldn't live with her son's murderer and she divorced me and every morning I wake up I'm sucked by the blackhole called loneliness......I've resisted it's pull all these years , but what's the point? You reap what you sow.......and nothing you say about it will change my mind"

"You're right sir"

"I am - wait......I thought this conversation will take a different turn......so you think I deserve all of this?"

"Yes and no sir.......yes what you did was right if you see through the eyes of a cop......you reasoned with your  son , he didn't listen and finally you had enough......I mean let's get real here , Nakul wasn't a saint.......he framed you twice! But what you feel  is the result of never asking for forgiveness"

"Forgiveness? From whom? The only person who could forgive me is.........burning in hell"

"I wasn't talking about Nakul sir , I was talking about yourself , yes from you.........you killed your son as ACP Pradyuman......the most righteous cop ever , and in ACP Pradyuman 's eyes Nakul was not his son......he was a criminal........but you - the father Pradyuman never forgave your counterpart for what he did ......the blackhole you were talking about? That's the parental side of you seeking confrontation from the cop who killed his son......and all these years you've pushed him away successfully because you buried yourself with work.......even after a day after your son's funeral , you worked on some marriage murder case........you never stopped for a moment to process what had happened.......and now all these years later, you're faced with the guilt of not confronting your feelings head on .....sir you need help-"

"Now don't tell me I have PTSD and should consult a psychiatrist.......I don't believe in PTSD......"

"Psychiatry is not always about PTSD sir......you of all people should know that"

"I've never heard you talk like this Daya, where did you get the courage to talk to me like this"

"We've never been in a situation like this sir......I mean granted all of us always looked up to you as a father figure and as a mentor......but there was always this desk, both  literally and figuratively keeping us all apart from interacting like a family......yes you've cared for us like we're your children when we got hurt.....but none of us actually talked about our issues like this ....."

"Yes you're right.......and you're also right about the fact that I have to start forgiving myself.....but wait what was the killer talking about your greatest regret the other day?"

"It's been 20 years since I've talked to my family........first it was my brother , his wife and kid came in the line of danger when they were with me , then it was my sister's family , her husband got me in trouble with some blackmailing photographer and I stopped talking with him , at last it was my other sister , whose son shot me ..... accidentally of course , it was during the time where a convict was extracting his revenge from everyone because you put him in jail.......I stopped talking with my family because whenever I get in touch with them trouble looms over thier heads......my greatest regret is losing all contact with my family because of my worklife , thinking that I would be a burden to them , without even checking with them .......I lost contact with everyone , I can't believe that I got detached with them that easily, all because I didn't want to see them get hurt in anyway but I hurt them by severing contact with all of them.........I can never be redeemed sir , but that's not so in your case and I didn't want anyone to know that so I made up that stuff about not getting over Shreya , I mean it hurt but I got over it a long time ago and Abhijeet still had to clear the air about that matter so it was a win-win for me last week"

"That hurts"

"It does sir , truth always hurts.....but the best way to cope up with it is to go through the pain once and for all rather than avoiding it"

"But Daya , I don't have a family anymore and I can't confide with anyone......but you can still speak to yours.....I mean they'll be angry at first but then they'll accept you again"

"Hope they do.........and all of your CID team are your family sir.....you're never alone"

"But why do I still feel that emptiness within me Daya?"

"I think I can help with that DCP sir" , a voice rang from the hall . DCP sir's face brightened when he heard that voice , he ran to the hallway and saw Asha , Sudhakar and Neeraj standing over there......Neeraj whose dying father gave his eyesight back all those years ago.....just because he found his missing son

"Neeraj beta tum kaise ho"

"Teek  hoon sir. I came here to see you"

Neeraj and DCP sir went to talk in private while Daya asked to Asha and Sudhakar "who is that?''

Asha remembering that Daya was on leave when DCP sir regained his eyesight told him about the case......."And so I and Sudhakar thought that since DCP sir once pulled Neeraj out of a dark place I thought he could do the same thing , that's why Sudhakar and I tracked him down and brought him here"

"So that was your "urgent business" earlier this morning? Because I could've really used you guys here because I'm pretty sure that I bombed my speech" 

"Come on it couldn't have been that bad" 

"Yes it was , I'm pretty sure I said that his work life is toxic for him and now I'm not sure wether he'll come back to CID"

"Well in that case let's hope Neeraj is a better speaker  than you are" Sudhakar said sarcastically

"But seriously you guys" Daya said "Aap log iss emotional matters mein experts hain . You knew what DCP sir wanted and did the exact thing......I'm proud to have you as my seniors as well as good friends "

"Awww.....and he claims that he's not good at emotinal speeches" Sudhakar teased 

Just then Neeraj and DCP sir came back. Neeraj hugged DCP sir and said that he'll visit again tomorrow

DCP sir looked a lot better now......after a long time everyone could see the familiar welcoming glint in his eyes

"Asha , Sudhakar......thank you so much for bringing Neeraj here......I promised that kid long back that I'll be there for him....but after killing Nakul I couldn't look him in the eye. I really needed this thank you."

"No need for thanks sir....we just wanted to make sure that you were alright and it was kind of a last minute decision to bring Neeraj , we were supposed to come with Daya here today"

"About that sir- I might have said some wrong things-"

"No Daya what you said was true , I mean some of it felt too OTT but the things you said was true and I knew that those were my problems , I just wanted someone to actually say it out loud so that I'd know that I'm right..... and my wife wanted to do the same thing all those years ago.....but I didn't....but now I'm ready , I must learn to forgive myself and I need some time to do that"

"After that-" Daya asked nervously . He didn't want DCP sir to leave CID even if the things he said might've implied it

"I'll tell you when the time comes Daya" 

After sometime Daya, Asha and Sudhakar took leave of DCP sir wondering what fate has in stock for him........

One month later (August 31 2025)

Everyone were working in the bureau but none of them were focusing ; DCP sir had informed them that he had made a big decision about something and was coming to the bureau to tell  that to everyone

DCP sir entered the bureau......everyone eyed him nervously

"I've decided to stay in CID and not retire (everyone breathes a sigh of relief) I mean since I've realised that I've to forgive myself and embrace all facets of my life, it won't make sense if I let go of a biggest part of my life ; my work and most importantly my subordinates who are actually my family.......and I am in the process of forgiving myself after lots of therapy sessions..... it'll be a while before I achieve my goal completely , but I can't let that keep me away from my work-family"

Everyone hugged-Yes hugged! -DCP sir.......it was great that he was not leaving his job and embracing all the sides of his life......which he had  avoided doing for a very long time.......

"One last thing......Daya it's time for you to listen to your own advice. If I can forgive myself and move on with my life , you can too"

"Thank you sir I'll try" Daya said tearfully "I'll try.....someday...."

"Ok.....anymore chitchat before everyone gets back working?"

"Sir there is something I have to ask"

"Yes Sudhakar what is it?

"What happened in 2022 with the Varun-"

The entire team yelled ENOUGH! None of then wanted to be reminded about it........that was a tragic and painful memory as it is.......

"Alright, alright fine....." Sudhakar muttered

"Anyone else......?" DCP sir started....

"Sir I have a question"

"Yes Abhijeet? 

"What's the word used to describe favouring friends/ colleagues , nepotism is for relatives so for friends......is it friend-potism?"

"How long have you waited to ask me that?"

"For about a month sir"

"Is your Google broken?"

"Sorry sir-"

"It's called cronyism"

"Ah!" Abhijeet said while feeling silly.......Daya would never let him hear the end of it

Everyone laughed and went back to do thier work

And just like that for once and for all, everything was back to normal......

End of part 3