Chapter 04: THEREFORE I AM

Well I am back with a Sunday treat for all of you. Hope all of you will enjoy the update and I will reply all of you after posting this chapter. It's quite long so it took me a little time to organize it. 

CHAPTER-04

Therefore I Am(Billie Eilish) Language: English

I'm not your friend or anything, damn
You think that you're the man
I think, therefore, I am

Stop, what the hell are you talking about? Ha
Get my pretty name outta your mouth
We are not the same with or without
Don't talk 'bout me like how you might know how I feel
Top of the world, but your world isn't real
Your world's an ideal

So go have fun
I really couldn't care less
And you can give 'em my best, but just know...

I'm not your friend or anything, damn
You think that you're the man
I think, therefore, I am

I don't want press to put your name next to mine
We're on different lines, so I
Wanna be nice enough
They don't call my bluff 'cause I hate to find
Articles, articles, articles
Rather you remain unremarkable
(Got a lotta) interviews, interviews, interviews
When they say your name, I just act confused

Did you have fun?
I really couldn't care less
And you can give 'em my best, but just know...

I'm not your friend or anything, damn
You think that you're the man
I think, therefore, I am

I'm sorry
I don't think I caught your name

I'm not your friend or anything, damn
You think that you're the man
I think, therefore, I am

THEREFORE I AM

Aditya smiled as he could see his victory knocking on the door. Imlie’s face had given in to the terror already but there was only one uneasiness working behind Aditya’s feelings. He doesn’t feel good doing anything like this to Imlie. He has only some fragments of memory but he felt like this was something he wouldn’t have done to her in the past at any cost. But why did he feel like doing this? Aditya saw her gruesome expression looking at the direction behind his back.

‘Maybe the villagers have reached us but why didn’t I hear footsteps coming closer to me?’ thought Aditya.

As he turned around to see he felt something sharp hit his neck and he fainted before grasping anything about the situation.

Imlie looked at Aditya who had already lost his consciousness and was lying on the ground.

“A nice carotid punch saved my day I guess”, exclaimed Imlie looking at her right hand which had just executed a perfect karate chop on Aditya’s neck.

Imlie has been trained in Mixed Martial Arts and Krav Maga. Though her eighteen year old body didn’t have training like her body of thirties, she practiced everything from the time she came back. The first priority for her was strengthening her body which made her purposefully choose manual labor jobs which included muscle training. And she had been practicing for two hours every early morning. 

Aryan had asked her to learn martial arts when she was twenty one for the nature of risks she used to take in her job but in the following years martial arts became her hobby as well as an addiction. Now even if the villagers come in front of her with the intent of harming, she could make every one of them dead but as she believes in smart work rather than hard work she chose the other way which includes no violence.

Imlie dragged Aditya’s body back to the grove and made him sit under a tree, the next thing she did was remove all the evidence of her dragging him on the ground. Imlie ran to the bathroom and looked at the bucket filled with water. She remembered how she felt uneasy seeing Aditya there so the first thing she did was pull some buckets of water to fill her personal bathing bucket from the well in the front yard of her house and made her way to the bathroom with clothes and the bucket hiding from him. The bamboo shade in front of the bathroom helped her a lot. After placing everything in the bathroom she came to talk with Aditya. That was her precaution from the very beginning.

After reaching the bathroom she poured water on herself as she heard footsteps in the front yard.

“Dulari Devi, Meethi come out at once” called the raged Sarpanch.

“Meethi come out”

Imlie could hear the conversation from the bathroom, she heard her mother’s voice.

“Sarpanch ji what’s the matter?”

“The Sehri Babu(City Man) had just put his foot in this village and your daughter started raas-leela(flirting) with him. You mother-daughter duo are same to your bones”

“What the hell are you saying?” Meethi scoffed in anger. She was clueless about what’s going on but she just can’t keep quiet hearing such nasty words about her daughter.

“What I am saying is absolutely true, Madanlal the lodge owner who saw the city man going inside the grove which is connected to your backyard will vow for my accusations”

“You are mistaking Sarpanch ji, my daughter just met him yesterday evening and you are saying that they have suddenly gotten themselves in such a relationship that they will need to meet at night”

“I saw them talking in the market in afternoon yesterday, when I questioned them if Imlie had already introduced herself to him; she ran away saying she was late for lunch. I definitely think they have something in between them”, said the villager who interacted with Imlie and Aditya in the market.

“You guys are lying. You are trying to frame her, my daughter is not someone like that. How could you all frame her?”

“Okay, if you think we are lying call your daughter right now”

“She is not in the house”

“What? See, you knew your daughter had already run away.”
“She wakes up every morning before 4:00 am. There is nothing new about this and we would be leaving today for Delhi. Maybe she is busy”

“Delhi? What about Delhi?”

“It’s none of your business Sarpanch ji, but what you are doing at our place in morning 4:00 am is definitely our business”, replied Imlie as she came there with a bucket in her hand containing her washed clothes, her hair tied with a ‘Gamcha’ and her hair dripping wet.

All the mass in front of her house looked at her in a surprised way.

“You didn’t meet up with the Sehri Babu(city man)?” asked the Sarpanch.

“Why would I?” Imlie asked with an expressionless face.

“You are lying, I saw that man going into the groves”, retorted Madanlal.

“Does my home look like a grove to you Madan kaka?”
“You might have used some seduction technique like your mom did in the past to lure him there. And that grove connects to your house’s backyard”

“Then it might be possible that the ladies of your house are dating the fishermen Madan kaka as the village lake flows behind your property”

“Imlie” yelled Madanlal.

“Shut up” a loud yell came from Imlie’s house as Dulari Devi came with an utensil full of hot water.

Imlie and all the villagers looked at the scene perplexed.

“Why are you blaming my granddaughter? Has it become a sin to take a bath in the morning? And Imlie are you already done bathing? I was bringing you the hot water to bathe as the water from the well is cold.” said Dulari Devi.

Imlie couldn’t understand for a second why her grandmother was trying to make an alibi for her but she accepted the help wholeheartedly and nodded her head to portray that she had already taken her bath.

“I woke up at the time when Imlie woke up and was heating up water for her bath as she was in a hurry. Today my granddaughter who got good ranks in both her high-school exam and in her college entrance exam will go to take admission in Delhi. Don’t be a black cat and ruin the happy time for us, Meethi and she has to leave in one hour.” said Dulari Devi sternly

“Dulari Devi ji you are sending her to the city? Our village girls gets married at this age not study”

“But who will marry Imlie? She has no blood identity and we don’t have money for dowry, she better leave this village and struggle,”  retorted Dulari Devi.

Imlie couldn’t understand how her grandmother was using the insults she received her whole life to make a way for her to leave the village without any hassle.

“You are right. It’s better for her to leave the village, but that Sehri babu”

“How will we know about him? Search the grove, maybe he is there because no one came into our house and we didn’t see anyone, not from morning at least after we woke up.” said Dulari Devi angrily.

The mass left with the resistance of an elder of the village. Meethi went inside to get the brush and gamcha to wash up. Finding everyone gone Imlie took the hot water from her grandmother’s hands and put it in the bucket which would be used by her mother for bath. She came near her grandmother and looked at her with questioning eyes.

“I saw how that guy tried to manipulate you from the bushes. He was really a bad guy”

“So you decided to help me?”
“Yes”
“Thank you naani”

“What did you just say?”

“Thank you naani”

“I don’t deserve it”

“You do, I might have overcome this situation but it wouldn’t have been so smooth if you hadn’t decided to involve yourself. I was sure I needed to buy new tickets as I would miss the 5:00 am bus because of this chaos. But you saved me and my money too. Thank you”
“Money should not be wasted”
“Yes and so not my gratitude towards you. From today onwards I will call you naani”

Dulari smiled at the sincerity of the little girl but she had one question still left in her mind and she decided to clear it, “That guy is a psycho right? Telling you as his wife in past life”

“No”

“What?” Dulari Devi was surprised.
“Naani, since you helped me, I will tell you the truth. What he was saying was indeed true but only half of it. I was not just his wife but actually I was his ex-wife. We had a divorce and the guy I married later was Aryan Singh Rathore. This guy has his fiancée back in his home and her name is Malini.”

“You divorced him? And Aryan was your husband in your past life”

“I can’t explain it as a past as it’s more complicated than that.”

“It’s hard to believe”

“Indeed and there are many stories of the past naani, but just know what that guy is doing might be because he only remembers some fragments of his memories. So even when I am gone please feign ignorance to his antics. He is just confused”

“If what you said is true I am so proud of you Imaliya. You are walking in the path of kindness which I never walk on. I promise from today I will try to be a good naani too. After all, we are a family. I would not spare any stranger who has any ill intentions towards us”

Imlie smiled and hugged her grandmother.

Imlie and Meethi reached Delhi after a five hours long journey. The first thing the mother daughter duo did was going to City College for admission. Meethi was a little nervous about the procedures as Satyakaam didn’t come with them for his interview with the city journalist but she had already taken her steps. The money she saved in a LIC fund for Imlie’s marriage had matured; eighteen years back she started saving them for her marriage but glad enough that she would be using it for her education in place of marriage.

“Amma a strange thing happened”, Imlie said, coming from the college office room which provided her computer for internet banking as she still hadn’t received her cheque book from the bank.

“What happened?”

“I have sixty thousand more in my account than the amount it should have been. I just checked my balance before paying them the admission fees”

“Imaliya that means the money has entered your account successfully”

“What do you mean?”

“I was saving up this money from the time you were born so that I could use it to buy some jewelry for you when you get married. But it matured and I planned to use them for your education purpose.”

“Amma but you never said to me that you were saving money for me. Why were you saving up so much for me when we were facing so many hurdles in life?”

“Do you think parents will say what they save up for their kids? I just saved up because I felt like it and don’t teach me what I should do for my daughter” said Meethi, making an expression of fake anger.

“Amma, you are strong as well as strict sometimes.” Imlie replied with tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips.

“Pagli, that's what every mother does. By the way, I do have two more places where I am saving little by little, so even if you fail, always know there’s a place where you can relax and try to find your path. If you get lost you can recuperate without taking the burden of the family”

Imlie couldn’t believe what she heard, in her last life she did consider Pagdandia as her identity but as a home or a safe space to return, she never considered it that way.  In this life it seems like she found her mother more reliable than she ever has considered her before. Imlie felt like this was something she never found in her last life, being safe after eighteen without burden. She felt grateful to Sita Maiyya for returning her back in time because this time she could see how much her mother cares and wish to become a shield for her rather than expecting her to be protected by some man.

“Thank you Amma for being the wall I can lean on in my tough times and assuring me it will always be there for me” said Imlie holding Meethi’s hands.

After the admission Meethi and Imlie went to the bank to deposit the cash Satyakaam sent for her which was twenty thousand rupees; also Imlie applied for an education loan and then Imlie walked with Meethi to the bus station so that she could return back. After Meethi left giving her affectionate hugs and forehead kisses Imlie thought about how much she is loved in this life. In her last life she didn’t even see these coming for her, Meethi’s money was used for the jewelries of her sudden marriage at gunpoint and she didn’t even see the gold chain which her grandmother gave to her for any kind of emergency in the future as a backup for cash. That gold chain was something her grandmother got from her family during her marriage with her grandfather. And Dadda’s kindness made her never cry for father’s love. 

Imlie felt her soul dancing in the rhythm of joy. What does she want more? She was standing in Delhi, under the sun with a free will and a fate that would not get controlled by others. Her shelter had been decided as the college hostel with an identity of a student not in someone’s house as a maid and she was indeed shocked how impressions could be different for every single instance. The warden of the College hostel was the same lady who made her lose her shelter and called her a gold digger last time who lured city men in marriage traps, but this time she saw her as someone highly inspiring. A girl who came from a village to study with good ranks, a girl fit to be a role model for others. Imlie felt like her being married at eighteen was something that gave a bad impression of hers to that warden. But what surprised her was why she was in the PG later when she had the job of being the College hostel’s warden. She felt like she needed to forget what happened in her last life and perceive this lady in a new light. Everything was changing with her decisions slowly be it her family or even the acquaintances that had left a sour taste in her last life.

Imlie made her way to a jewelry shop and sold a pair of earrings Chavi gave her last night during her visit to her home. After that she returned back to her hostel and started unpacking, since the college will start in two weeks and she arrived after early admission, her roommate has not arrived yet. As she arrived for lunch after unpacking she saw only four girls were there in the whole hostel.

“Early admission?” Imlie enquired.

“Oh yes, myself Niti. By the way the other three are seniors”, Niti replied.

“Oh…Hello myself Imlie”

“Imlie?”

“Imlie Bhuyan”

“Scheduled Tribe?”

“Yes. You guessed from my surname; right?”

“Yes…Then you guys have too much privileges”

“It seems so but on real ground since our girls don’t even get to study, the privileges are not that noteworthy.”

“But you are here”

“Just consider me as someone who fought for it. I belong to an ‘Adivasi(Tribal) Village’ called Pagdandia from Uttar Pradesh. Thanks to the support from my family I am here else I would have been married like others”

“That’s really upsetting to hear as a girl of 21st century”

“Isn’t it? By the way, what's your surname? I am sure you are from general caste”

 “How did you know?”

“From your bad impressions of schedule tribes”

“Oh! Was I that obvious? I am sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude but the frustration came because I lost my seat in another college for the reservations”

“But you are still here”

“That’s my luck. By the way I am Niti Sharma from Ahmedabad; nice to meet you”

“Nice to meet you too”

“Room number?”

“321, third floor. Yours?”

“Same floor 323. By the way,  which course?”

“Bachelors of Journalism and mass communication”

“Oh my same. Friends?”

“Sure”

Imlie and Niti shake their hands and made their way to their rooms after having their lunch.

Imlie took a nap and had a good chatting night with Niti at her room after organizing her hostel room. The next day was quite hectic for Imlie as she went for Chavi's admission in St. Frederick’s college and then approved her own education loan; with that she also went to her college office with the Tribe certificate which made her eligible to pay lesser fees. 

The whole week went in a rush with her efforts to reduce the fees of the college and also she attended for her scholarships exam to get stipends in the future. The only fees that she had to manage were the hostel fees and personal expenses. She was lucky to get most of them covered with her identity from her mother’s side. If she had her father’s identity she would have been from a general caste with no avail to many facilities. Being tribal was an icing on the cake for her to get things done easily in life.

 Imlie left for Pagdandia on Saturday morning and stepped in her village by afternoon. She had talked with her family via the College hostel's phone twice or thrice but the conversation was only limited to her family and Chavi. She heard how Aditya has cleared her Dadda’s name. As she didn’t have the privilege to read Bhaskar Times newspaper at hostel she had to gain this intel from her family.

The village felt eerily empty while walking to her home, even the market was empty. Suddenly she saw her classmate Raghu running somewhere; she stopped him and asked why the village was so empty that too in afternoon time.

“Oh! Imlie you are back from the city. How was your college?”

“It’s very good but you tell me where are you going in such a hurry?”

“Oh to Devi Maiyya’s temple. Chavi is getting married”

“Chavi?”

“Yes, okay I need to run some errands so see you later. By the way do come to temple something like this is happening for the first time in our village” 

“What is happening?”

“You will see when you reach there. The whole village is attending the marriage” said Raghu and ran away.

‘What's the first time? It was I, who was marrying at gunpoint in my last life and this time it’s Chavi’ thought Imlie.

“Well done Chavi,”  murmured Imlie.

The first thing what Imlie did was drop by her home to keep the small bag she carried with her. The house was empty; she understood her mother and grandmother had left for the marriage but she just doesn’t know with what mindset they left, as a spectator or as an ally or as a fighter against it. She put her eyes on the rangoli color packets she brought from Chautaalgarh which were kept on a corner stand, the red color was missing from there. She remembered how she handed it to Chavi before leaving for Delhi. She had totally changed the former laid plan when she called from Delhi last Tuesday. She had clearly instructed Chavi to do the opposite things that happened with herself in her past life. She remembered her conversation a little. 

“Imlie how is Delhi?”, asked Chavi with excitement.

“Not bright enough till you come here”

“You are joking right?”
“Nope. Last time I talked with Geeta ma’am to provide you the opportunity as they were trying to avoid you after they heard you are getting married with the Sarpanch’s son in two months whereas the other girls will go to colleges near the village or in towns. And the boys are enough ambitious to land themselves at somewhere good”

“Thank you, I am now volunteering as the guide of the city journalist”
“Be polite and courteous to him. And tour him only the places I wrote in the page that naani gave you”

Imlie had asked Dulari Devi to hand the page to Chavi before leaving for Delhi.

“Are you sure these places are not so attractive in our village”
“Yes, because you will show the opposite of what he had already seen”

“But he had seen nothing”

“It’s okay and behave close with him whenever your fiance sees you, to avoid any suspicion from the Sehri babu you can call him ‘Bhaiyya’(Big Brother)”
“Are you sure? We are planning to have my that”
“Fake marriage right. Are you keeping that Rangoli color?”
“Hiding it”
“Use it properly when the time comes”
“Sometimes I feel like we are doing something evil but again that’s how we have to do I just have no choice”
“Sometimes we need to play unfairly. Don’t worry just make sure the villagers force you to marry him by Saturday”
“Okay”

As imlie kept her phone she muttered unconsciously, “Everything is fair in love and war. Unfortunately this is both for me”

At present time Imlie reached the temple on the mountain and saw Chavi was getting married to Aditya at gunpoint. She looked at her grandmother who was sitting on a plastic chair outside the temple premises and her mother was giving her a glass of water. As Imlie proceeded towards them she heard her grandmother cursing, “That city man is the bad guy not Chavi. Her bad luck was that the school chose her as his volunteer. The intimate position her fiancé saw is definitely something the city man plotted. The problem is that everyone is bend on blaming her and risking her life”

“Amma what could we even do? And I noticed you are kind of prejudiced against him”

“Prejudiced? I hate that guy after what he tried with…”
“Tried with?”

“Nothing Meethi”

“Amma, Naani”, Imle called both of them.

“Imlie”, both of them exclaimed.

“I just heard that the villagers are forcibly getting Chavi married to the Sehri babu.” asked Imlie with terror on her face.

“Yes, they are”, Meethi said sadly.

“Imaliya I can’t explain how much I tried to stop them saying this was a bad decision. No one is ready to listen to me. The Sarpanch’s son, Chavi’s ex-fiancé said he saw both of them in an intimate position yesterday afternoon and then he declared he won’t marry her. After that everyone had forced this marriage down their throats. That city guy and Chavi tried to say the situation was nothing like that and her shoulder was stung with bamboo culm. That bamboo culm got stuck on her  skin and he was trying to remove it from her shoulder”

“Bamboo culms are poky indeed. I get stung by them sometimes while opening our gate” Imlie said making a sad face.

They heard the pandit saying the marriage had finished successfully. They went inside and saw Chavi and Aditya sitting in front of the havan kund( place to light fire for auspicious ceremonies). Aditya’s eyes went on Imlie and looked bewildered, he never thought he would see her again in between this sudden roller coaster ride of life.

Imlie looked at them and saw the smiles on the faces of Chavi’s parents and other relatives. She felt disgusted, this set of parents don’t even know where their daughter will go or they got her married to what type of man yet smiling as if she is going to a palace to live a good life; these were the thoughts that came to her mind. Respect is everything for upper class people though it could be harmful to themselves and their kids sometimes. Hypocrisy at its best. Glad we could use hypocrisy for gains rather than just losses.

Imlie went near Chavi and helped her stand straight after the rituals. She looked at Imlie and sighed a breath of relief. Imlie asked her with her eyes whether she managed to change the sindoor(vermilion) with the rangoli color and Chavi nodded her head as a yes which made Imlie’s lips arched as a smile. Though no one saw this conversation for a few seconds it didn’t escape Aditya’s eyes.

The night went and the post marriage ritual had started the next day which Chavi’s parents decided to do in the village as they were not sure whether she would get accepted by her in-laws. Imlie came and saw Aditya sitting on a stool outside, she went to him and greeted him.

“Jai Sita Maiyya Sehri babu, you said I was your past wife and married Chavi instead. I didn’t see this coming”
“This marriage was forced” muttered Aditya trying to control his anger.
“So was ours according to you in our past lives.”
“That was a different thing”
“Don’t worry if you had digested me in your past life you can do it this time too. Whether you marry your fiancé Malini Chaturvedi back at your city or Chavi here you will always be my lovable Jiju(Brother in law)”

Aditya got dumbstruck hearing about his fiancé as he never said anything about her to Imlie. He looked at her with suspicious eyes to which Imlie replied, “Nothing to be so suspicious. I heard about your fiancé from Chavi, by the way there’s something I would like to say to you too; actually I know my village's rules very well. If you catch two opposite gender people even holding hands they will make them marry each other. Congratulations you are married now”

Aditya saw the smirk in Imlie’s face, he felt shivers down his spine as if he was looking at a predator and he was her prey. Aditya didn’t know that he had already become her prey without her even lifting her fingers.

Imlie went to the corner to have some sherbet. Satyakaam came and greeted Aditya and said he felt sorry for him. Satyakaam went for some work at another village and everything occurred in his absence. Aditya had testified for him when police came to catch him and he had high opinions about Aditya now. He promised that he would favor Aditya  if he needs any help from him in future. Imlie heard the conversation and didn’t like a bit of it so she went inside to meet Chavi.

Chavi smiled at Imlie when she entered Chavi’s room. Chavi was sitting alone on her bed as everyone was busy.

“Have you eaten already?” asked Chavi.
“Nope but I will leave after eating by the 2:00 pm bus to Delhi. You will leave for Delhi tomorrow?”

“Yes by the 5:00 am bus”

“I will pick you up from the ‘Sukhalay Rescue Home’ when he leaves you there”
“How did you know Imlie he will leave me there?”
“The place where he works, Bhaskar Times has deals with this Rescue Home. They save up victims and since it is run by the government the victims don’t face problems being there. I already did your admission and booked a room at the hostel of your college. Tomorrow I will pick you up as soon as he leaves you there”
“Oh my! Thank you Imlie”

Sukhalay Rescue home was the place where Aditya left Imlie at Delhi in her past life. No one was there for her to make her life easy, rather she was being pulled back to Pagdandia when some villagers saw her there and made her life miserable. At least Chavi has her as a backup.

All was going nicely and Imlie had her lunch there. 

Aditya came and met Chavi to say that he could never accept her as his wife. He said he would leave her at the rescue home. Chavi replied, “Okay drop me there, this marriage was done forcefully and Sukhalay rescue home would be better than this marriage which is just a baggage for both of us”

Aditya said okay and left Chavi in her room, as he came outside he saw Imlie was about to leave the venue and that moment it struck him that he neither told Chavi about which rescue home he would leave her nor the name of Malini. He talked about his fiancé and said her name was Moon not Malini. Aditya looked at Imlie, and things had gone way too suspicious for him.

Suddenly Aditya’s mobile vibrated with an indication that a message had come. It was from the Chief Editor:

“A businessman would soon enter the list of Billionaires in India. And he will visit Kanpur next week to start a factory there. Aditya, could you please get your team or yourself to have an appointment with him to have his interview? I wouldn’t have asked you to do this task but once he enters the list it would be hard to get his interview. His name is Aryan Singh Rathore, he is coming to U.P. from Mumbai”

Aditya stared at his screen with disbelief. In his last life this job went to Sudhesh’s team but this time it came to him. The irony is the guy is none other than Aryan Singh Rathore, Imlie’s husband from her past life. He looked at Imlie again who was leaving for the bus station and thought that time had arrived to check whether Imlie remembers her past or not.

Songs Used:

~Therefore I am(Billie Eilish)

Well big news Aryan is entering the story in next chapter. How many of you are excited?

Hope all of you enjoyed this chapter.

Yours Sincerely,

Mimi