Chapter 23
A/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D
Note: The song used in this chapter is With Or Without Me by U2. Also, today marks the one-year anniversary for the completion of NC, so cheers to that as well! :D :D *throws confetti in air*
Not keeping y'all for long now,
Happy Reading! :D :D
Ishaani closed her diary and her eyes simultaneously, thanking her stars that the living torture had come to an end.
She felt the same emotional turmoil wash through her heart like it had during the conversation with Chirag that night. She had no control upon her feelings, unable to fathom the way they kept imploding and exploding in her heart, leaving her weakened and wounded in the same agony that she'd been left in years ago until she'd made a life-changing decision.
She'd chosen to trust her mind upon her heart.
And the next she woke up, she'd found herself in the washroom, the scalpel still warm in her hand while the blood had dried away upon her arm. She'd washed herself clean of the stubborn crimson and quickly thrown away the scalpel in fear before running towards the servants quarters' to see what had happened after the previous night once she'd left Ranveer behind. She didn't know why she did what she had, but she had to know what had happened.
He'd lived up to the promise he made her.
He'd left without a trace.
Ishaani slid off from the bed and stood in front of the mirror, staring at her wounded arms in conflict. She'd lost the ability to emote at will the night she'd first decided to walk upon the path of making the scalpel her friend and it'd been a permanent damage when she'd made it her accomplice from the second time. And now she was bound by that decision, she stared at the two band-aids and the single white bandage that hid away the two scars that she'd inflicted upon her arm tonight, the blood visible upon the bandage.
Blood was the only way of bleeding her emotions out, she'd learnt in those eight years. But it wouldn't help tonight. Because her heart no longer simply burned with the fire of remorse and grief; it burned with the fire of revenge. And blood wouldn't help her let go of the corrosive hatred she felt for the man she'd once chosen above Ranveer because she chose to believe what he'd told her above what her heart did. And she'd paid the price of her cowardice that night. The choice was made all along, and yet she chose to break Ranveer apart in her quest for overcoming her own grief.
She quietly kept the last diary upon the other two as she made her way out from the room, her silk-green nightgown trailing behind her slightly as she made her way down the steps, her mind a blank slate. Her heart had stopped feeling a little more ever since she'd begun reading these diaries, the same numbness spreading upon her heart like it had years ago upon a night where she'd destroyed her entire life in a single stroke.
Ishaani continued her stride towards the servants' quarters until her feet came to a halt in front of a room that was once Ranveer's. Years and years of memories remained separated from her as she saw the lock upon the door. She smiled to herself bitterly as she pulled the bobbypin out from her hair and pushed it into the lock, cracking it open within a matter of seconds.
And then, she pushed the doors open.
Ishaani entered into a world of her past as the room welcomed her within the confines of eleven years' worth of cherished memories dancing around her like patronuses. The room remained devoid of any furniture, sans a window and the walls of the room, along with a pair of wooden doors upon the other window that hid away the motive for which she sought to remain alive.
She looked around the walls of the tiny, miniscule room that were set with her complete set of twenty-nine paintings, starting right from the first time they met to the last memory of their's at the airport. All her canvases now sat as wallpapers upon the walls that ran in a sequence from the left to the right while the open spaces were painted in the shades of the night sky with stars studded upon them. An empty space remained after the final painting - the painting for the space left would complete her journey the day she won it fair and square.
She'd fought tooth and nail to achieve and live the destiny that her father and Ranveer had once dreamt from her. She'd fight tooth and nail for its ending as well. She walked around the room as her hand slithered over all of her twenty-eight masterpieces that adorned the walls - masterpieces that were born out of bleeding emotions in just a matter of three months. The central and the largest wallpaper remained the night when Ranveer had found his life back in the very same room, a night when Ranveer had bled himself on paper for her.
The entire room stood testimony to her feelings for Ranveer and their entire story on paper as the colours only kept mingling with each other, making the effect surreal. Ishaani kept tracing her fingers upon the painting until it landed upon the last one in the room. A painting that she'd done the night she'd had her second association with the scalpel. The blood had bled through her arm, but was that enough to stem the emotions that seemed so hell bent to sap the life out of her?
It wasn't.
And so she'd resorted to doing what Ranveer had done years ago when he knew that Death was much closer than life - he fought it. And so did she, as she pulled out the canvas and paints from her cupboard and let them bleed upon the floor, but not in pain and anguish like Ranveer had. No. She'd let her love and passion for Ranveer bleed upon the paper as she made a decision that night. A decision to never contact Ranveer again, not until she was worthy of standing in front of him and seeing him eye to eye.
She'd promised her father once that she'd never stand in between Ranveer and the glorious future than stood before him, and so she willingly chose to not stand in between now, even though all she truly wanted to do was throw herself in Ranveer's arms and die begging for forgiveness in them until he embraced her back. And so she bled the dream that she now saw for Ranveer on behalf of her father - of Ranveer becoming the ruler of the world as he stood facing the world in a chic black suit, his head held eye yet his shoulders humble as his hands remained in the pockets of his trousers like always.
And then she'd let her emotions bleed freely.
By the end of it the world was not the society, but was nature. She'd unconsciously constructed the beach with Ranveer looking towards something. And in that moment, she realized what was so familiar about it. It was a companion to the painting he'd made all those years back. The same pain, the same death, the same lack of will to live... and the same future. Meeting at the horizon. What it was that he sought to look towards, she did not know. But somewhere deep down in her heart, she knew what she had to work towards.
She'd build the same future for them that they'd built in the two paintings.
But to build that future, she knew that she had to win back everything she'd lost first, starting from making the one man responsible behind it pay for every single thing that he'd taken away from her - her happiness, her life, her family, her father's empire, her paintings and above all, her Ranveer. Chirag had taken away everything from her. And as she let a few drops of her tears and blood mingle together upon the painted sky so that the sunset only seemed to exemplify more, she stood up and decided to change her future. She'd not go down without a fight.
She'd die trying like a warrior, not as a coward.
And as she stared at the painting before her, she smiled as childishly as she could. She was on the right path where she'd won back her father's empire and had taken it to new heights. Her family was happy and well-settled in all the different parts of the world that they were in (they weren't in contact, but the social media posts did reflect so), and the only remaining member in Mumbai she'd visit once in a month. If someone had told her that there would be a time when she'd make it a point to meet Hansaben Kothandas Parekh at an old-age home every month since the time she found out about it three years ago, she'd have told that person that it was not going to happen even in a thousand different lives.
And yet it had happened.
Baa was too ashamed to share a roof with her and had refused her offer of living at the Parekh Mansion. Not out of arrogance, but shame. Her own sons had abandoned her a few years after Harshad Parekh's death and it was by an accident that Ishaani had come across the woman who she once hated the most in her life.
But the fact didn't change that they were two abandoned women at the end of the day who'd sought to change their futures by being independent. And somewhere down the line with that being a common point, hatred simmered down to dislike and dislike eventually perished into neutrality that only brought respect. It was one of her father's responsibilities that she'd overtaken to her fullest capacity by paying for everything that the older woman would need since she'd never agree to come live with her.
And that's one legacy that he'd be proud upon her for.
The other would be the fact she'd won back her father's paintings. It'd been just mere days after Chirag had thrown her out from the house and just before the Parekh Mansion was sealed when Ishaani had visited her haven to find it same and yet different. As she walked across the stretches of the abandoned house, she'd noticed how very different the paintings upon the walls looked. Until she realized that they were all different. They were all fakes that Chirag had scooped the house clean of, embezzling paintings worth millions. But her heart had fallen cold. She hadn't checked her most prized painting that Chirag still thought belonged to Palmer...
The moment she'd reached her room, her heart had turned into stone. An identical painting stood in place of Ranveer's, the easy giveaway being the borders that were without the calligraphic quotes. Chirag had never understood the meaning behind them and so he'd faltered over here. He'd made a mistake. But he'd made the biggest mistake of his life by taking away the one painting that she'd warned him off against.
And as she'd walked home towards Piyush and Gayatri's apartment that afternoon, she felt a spark hit her cold heart, setting it ablaze. But it was no longer her heart on fire; it was her soul. And ever since that moment, she'd return back to the Parekh Mansion every single day even after the house was sealed. There was a huge ashoka in the garden, one of whose branches reached the terrace efficiently. And the rest she was well-equipped for from years. And she'd begun the journey towards Chirag's destruction from the very place her own destruction had begun in the first place - Ranveer's room in the servants' headquarters.
As Ishaani walked towards the wooden doors where a window once existed, she sighed and pulled it open, revealing a blueprint. The blueprint of Chirag's destruction as everything remained mapped out. Right from his character sketch to his likes and dislikes and his strengths and weaknesses. He may have lived the life of Ranveer for three years but there were enough traits of his own to give her the basic idea. She was sometimes tempted to send him a packet of peanut butter cookies to see whether he was really allergic to them or no.
But the mapping only got more and more descriptive by the months that went by as she kept increasing her plans that now involved not just Chirag but tabs upon everyone else and everything else that once belonged to her. Her paintings. She'd kept a track of all the thirty seven paintings that Chirag had stolen and sold away at the art gallery that her father would always go through because they had the highest number of contacts. Ishaani'd walked over and spoken to the head of the gallery, Mr. Chauhan, regarding whatever had happened.
It was after a lot of ridicule that Ishaani had brought out the mean side of her as she reminded him about her father's favour upon him and how she still had enough evidence upon her that could send him up to jail for a minimum of twenty years. And that set her first association to bring Chirag down as Mr. Chauhan kept tabs on behalf of her on all the paintings that she'd meticulously listed on paper. Chirag managed to get away with inflated prices upon most of them, but Ishaani had managed to get her hands upon thirty-six of the paintings in a span of four and a half years, twenty of the paintings in Mr. Chauhan's custody for two whole years until she was financially that able to buy them all back.
And two weeks ago, Mr. Chuahan had come across yet another offer to sell of the Samuel Palmer painting as soon as possible for the money was urgent. And he was no fool to know that this was no work of an amateur painter but was a very recent painting. And Mr. Chauhan had let Ishaani know that the painting she sought the most was going to be on sale soon.
And that's when she decided to set the stage.
Years ago, she'd stripped his self-respect off in public by slapping him in front of a hundred students. And that had been the beginning of Chirag's chapter in her life. And so she was going to do the same thing once again, ending his chapter in her life once and for all.
Ishaani shut the doors and sighed, smiling at the only portion of the wall that didn't have any painting in the form of a wall-paper. That spot was saved for the last picture remaining in the equation to complete their untold stories once and for all. The picture that she'd soon win over from Chirag, striking off another mission from her bucket list.
And then all that would remain was Ranveer and her happiness, somewhere along the line both of which were interlinked. She'd have to win him over before opening the doors of her life to the concept of happiness once again. But till then, she had her father's legacy to achieve first.
She'd barely snapped out of her thoughts when Mala entered the room with the landline receiver.
"It's Mr. Sanghvi." Ishaani nodded her head and accepted the line from here.
"What's the matter?" she asked, wondering why he would want to ring her up at what she realized was still before the time of dawn.
"I'll be a little late to work tomorrow, Ishaani. Have an urgent meeting. Family emergency," replied Piyush tensely and Ishaani smiled in spite of herself. She was banking on this to happen.
"What's the emergency?" she asked blankly, hoping that he'd play his card first. He did.
"Gayatri's mother had an attack the previous evening and-"
"I spoke to Gayatri last night and she told me that everything was alright. Why don't you quit lying and tell me where you're headed off to?" demanded Ishaani, her ire not gone amiss by Piyush.
"Fine, I have a client, okay? Top secret, can't reveal any names. It is need to know so technically you shouldn't even be knowing about this. But since I do have a meeting scheduled for seven in the morning with you so I had to let you know. Wouldn't want to get my ass fired now, would I?" he added, sounding as irritated as he felt by Ishaani's foiling of his plans.
"Is the meeting by any chance at the Taj Mahal Hotel, Room No. 713?" asked Ishaani in a tone of amusement, and the gasp that Piyush let out was a giveaway. It was the room where Ranveer was lodging at currently.
"How did you-" began Piyush, but Ishaani saved him the time.
"He reached out to you, didn't he? I had an inkling that he would. And what the heck were you thinking giving in like that? I'm this close to fir-" threatened Ishaani, but this time Piyush counter-cut her.
"Oh, cut the crap, Ishaani! He deserves to know the truth-!" he stated strongly and Ishaani could sense the restlessness in his voice at being stopped at from speaking the truth because he knew that she wasn't willing to say it either.
"-from me!" retorted Ishaani and Piyush fell silent. "That's my right! Not yours, or anyone else's for that matter. So you phone him right now and tell him that there's a family emergency because of which you need to call it off. And take a three-day leave. Am I clear?" asked Ishaani, and Piyush huffed grudgingly in response.
"I just hope that you don't waste anymore time and tell him the truth," he said as an afterthought before disconnecting the line without waiting for her response.
Ishaani kept the phone quietly as Mala took the phone and left the room without another word. Ishaani silently fell upon her knees as she buried her face into her palms, taking in deep breaths at just the fateful thought of the moment when she'd tell him the truth. Somehow, after all these years of living with it, she found herself incapable of confessing it to Ranveer. Why it was though, she couldn't say. Maybe it was because she was afraid that he'd do to her what she did to him that night. And she knew that she wasn't courageous like Ranveer to walk away. She'd simply die.
And that she couldn't afford to do.
Not until she'd won back everything that once belonged to her.
-x-
Ranveer shut the diary, rubbing his temples softly before letting his head fall into his hands weakly. The diary remained empty after the last entry that spoke about himself and Chirag. And why wouldn't it have been empty? His life had become empty forever just mere hours later. Death had been so close to him that walking that extra step was better than reliving the excruciating memory of what had truly elapsed that night. No, the memory of that night only remained alive in his mind now, and even Ishaani's, he assumed. He doubted whether she'd have had the energy to ever write anything like that in her diary as well.
Chirag had been right after all, guessed Ranveer bitterly.
Friday and the thirteenth never went well.
Slamming the diary upon the side table with extreme prejudice, he looked at the clock and sighed. 6:30AM. Just another thirty minutes and he'd get all the answers that he was looking for. His emotions were well in check because just like six and a half years ago, he was emotionally exhausted. He'd spent all of his emotions upon one woman, the only woman he'd ever dared to love with all his heart and soul. And she'd killed both of them ruthlessly that night, leaving behind an alter-ego of him that was nearly dead underneath the debris of heartbreak.
Sleep hadn't come to him once again, but the reason was different for the first time in all those years. It was not the lifelessness that kept him awake tonight; it was the slimmest ray of hope that perhaps... perhaps there was a chance at life, after all. Why did hope matter, he did not know. But he was certain that his heart, mind and soul were too dead to be revived anymore to the human concept of emotions, not when one night had sapped him of all of them. All that he had access to were his crippled emotions but they didn't do him any good either because they were raw and jagged.
Trying to feel them only meant bleeding more.
Ranveer sighed tiredly as he flexed his arms out in a stretch, hearing his bones crack with a satisfaction as he finally made his way out from upon the bed. The empty glass of alcohol remained beside him as a reminder of how it had been his saviour as he relived the last leg of his past. The untold story of his past that didn't have Ishaani as a part for most of it. And the time she returned back to it was only long enough to strike the final blow, snuffing the life out from him. Ever since then, he'd been living the life of a dead man anyway - empty, lifeless and without a soul.
Ranveer walked into the washroom and turned on the shower as he felt his muscles soak in the heat from the water, the heat enough to drive away any remaining remnants of his intoxication while his eyes shut at the relaxing sensation of the water that made sharp contact with his skin. The questions haunting him from the past six years of his life did its usual round as was tradition now every time the water calmed him enough to let the ghosts of his past reappear in his mind. But for the first time, he didn't stop them anymore.
RV never understood hope, but Ranveer did.
And so, the slimmest of hope was what the maimed Ranveer held on to, feeling them through the cracks of a fragile heart now cast within an iron cage. But wasn't that what hope did? Awaken the dead into the world of living? There were no emotions anymore - just hope. The tiniest, slimmest ray of hope. And as RV shut off the running water and wiped himself clean of it, he gasped suddenly as though shocked.
It was too calm, he realized all of a sudden in a deja vu.
Everything was too calm.
The last time everything was too calm, he knew what that calm had costed him. Everything. And it was only a matter of time before this calm suspended too and left in its wake a storm that'd change the course of their lives once again. The first storm had already broken loose when their paths had crossed again after six and a half years, and even the Universe had borne witness to that storm with a little storm of its own. And then suddenly, everything fell calm. The same calm that'd last for three days until all hell was supposed to break loose upon him.
And just like the previous time, he could suddenly feel his heart squirm uneasily. Not with any kind of feeling or emotion. No. He could feel it squirm with ill-boding. The premonition that he'd feel years and years ago whenever something was going to happen. And it was for the first time after that night that he'd felt something like that. What was happening to him? RV never believed in any of this because he wrote his own destiny. And yet... the feeling in his heart only seemed to intensify more and more as he slipped on a sky blue shirt with a complementing three-piece black suit.
He was on the the verge of straightening his tie out crisply and putting a clip upon it when his phone rang. The caller id was Piyush's.
"Where are you?" asked RV, wondering why Piyush was calling him up at the last minute.
"Er, I just called to tell you that. I won't be able to make it today, RV. Family emergency. So once I'm back, we'll definitely get to this," he replied in return awkwardly and RV pursed his lips in chagrin.
RV didn't bother to hear anything else as he disconnected the line, his grip over his phone only getting stronger by the minute as he shut his eyes in vexation. He knew what had just happened. The whole thing bled of Ishaani's involvement even though he had absolutely no proof to go upon. But like his Mota Babuji once told him, some things never changed. Ishaani was nowhere remotely alike her old self but the traits were all there. And even though Ranveer remained as safely tucked away behind RV, the facade had known Ishaani long enough as well to know that this was expected to happen.
He'd loved her once wholly, shell and soul. The soul may have been lost, but the shell knew enough. He should have known better that Piyush would bail out on him since he was definitely much closer to Ishaani and was her legal associate. He'd see what was to be done about Piyush later because he never forgave the people who bailed out on him. But for now, RV grew impatient and restless. There were still no answers, and the fact that Ishaani had beaten him to it for the first time in a mind game seemed to put him off all the more. She'd played her game effectively with Piyush, whatever it was that she'd done.
This Ishaani was well-versed with the art of manipulation.
But as he slipped his well-polished shoes on, he smiled to himself rather twistedly. She'd shown her A-game over here, noe giving him the idea about how he had to up his game. And he had the perfect answer to it. Ranveer may have been used to never getting what he wanted, but not RV. If RV wanted something, he had to have it. No matter what then. He wanted answers, and he'd get them today itself, that he was sure of. She'd given away half of the game that something was definitely off by not letting Piyush meet him, and the other half he'd effectively find out, he knew.
She'd brought the storm upon his doorstep; he'd make sure to thunder and flash lightening in return.
It was time for an overdue lunch date.
-x-
RV entered the office with purpose, every single person jumping from their seats in frightened reverence as though shocked. Rishi greeted him near his cabin, a broad smile upon his face.
"Good morning, sir."
"Good morning. Where's Miss Parekh?"
"In her cabin."
"Alright. Get me the status reports from Purchase by ten. We need to get cracking with the shipping agency as well."
Rishi nodded his head as everybody got back to their work, making his way towards his cabin as well.
RV made a detour towards Ishaani's cabin, feeling the sense of purpose only increase in his mind as he knocked at the door thrice. The door of the cabin swung open and he entered the room, dazzled by the beautiful warmth of the sun as his target sat at her table in a full-sleeved royal blue blouse shirt, her hair left open in it's usual waves that only made her look breathtaking. RV felt all of his thought sjump out of the window for two whole minutes before Ishaani's voice snapped him back to reality.
"To what do I owe the pleasure, Mr. RV?" asked Miss Parekh politely, signalling him to take a seat opposite her.
"I want to apologize about yesterday. About what happened between the two of us," he added awkwardly, and she cocked her eyebrow at him, bewildered.
"Why are you apologizing for something I initiated, Mr. RV?"
"It's not right, what happened yesterday," stated RV in a remorseful tone, his expression projecting the same. Miss Parekh sought his eyes but they were as lifeless as they'd been in these past four days.
"If it had been anyone else in front of me, I'd have tried convincing them other, but experience has thought me better than to argue with you along these lines. So okay, apology accepted. Or is there anything else that you'd want to do to assuage your conscience?" she asked, and for once, RV couldn't ascertain whether she was being serious or sarcastic.
His mind had gotten momentarily distracted when he felt something protruding from the body of the table when his fingers grazed through the panels of the table. Ah, the accompaniment of the one in the conference room. His suspicions had not been in vain after all.
But that could wait. Everything could wait. RV needed answers, yes, but first about the woman in front of him. The rest of the world could wait. And so, he decided to play with his chances.
"Well, you tell me. What is it that you want me to do?" he asked, and Ishaani gave him a pensive look.
"There's an invitation that's pending for response," she suggested and RV knew that she was talking about dinner. He smiled to himself mentally, noting with satisfaction that she'd taken the path that he wanted her to go upon. Times had changed, but he could still predict her moves.
"Would it be alright if I accepted it for this afternoon? I'm not free in the evenings, that's why," he added in a tone of regret and she nodded her head.
"Oh yes, I heard about the Singhania take over. The entire business community here has been taken by storm with it since it's been quite the talk of the town. So congratulations upon your victory. I'm sure it's been a very fruitful wait," she added and RV cocked his eyebrow at her in surprise. He understood her underlying reference, wondering darkly how she knew about his real motive behind the acquisition.
"What's the supposed to mean?" he asked sharply and she let out a humourless laugh.
"We're both smart people, Mr. RV. Let's not waste time in words," she replied and he nodded his head somberly.
"You've gotten smarter than I'd like to admit, Miss Parekh. But like you said, let's make a push for it. Will this afternoon be alright?" he asked, waiting for her response patiently as he hoped that she'd take the bait. She did.
"I guess so, yes. We can head back home for lunch," she replied and RV heaved a sigh of relief.
"Alright, then. Finch and David won't be able to join us since they're both busy with their respective work for my empire back in Sydney so I hope that's alright with you," he said suddenly and she nodded her head in consideration.
"Works with me. I can invite them over some other time as well," she replied graciously and RV shot her a radiant smile.
"Good enough. Be done with your work by one then."
-x-
RV and Miss Parekh both walked towards the parking lot at exactly one in the afternoon, the sun shining brightly upon them in the sweltering October heat.
"Where's your driver?" asked RV as he slipped over his sunglasses, looking around the area impatiently.
He turned to look at Ishaani, who was already staring at him, lost in thought. This was a look he got too often from girls and fellow female colleagues and it didn't surprise him anymore, although it amuse him coming from Ishaani's end. He snapped his fingers at her and she flushed dully.
"I don't have a driver," she replied and he was surprised that she'd caught on to his question.
"Why?"
"I can drive," was all Ishaani replied, her features having gone taut suddenly.
RV gave her a bewildered look for a moment before it hit him. He smiled at her coldly, laughing at the irony of her boycotting a driver just because she'd called him so once. Ishaani only shot him a deadpan look as she unlocked the car, choosing to maintain the silence. Before she could open the door, however, RV caught her hand.
"I'm not sitting in a car where you're driving. We're taking my car, and I've got a driver at hand," he said and for a moment, both of them were on the verge of laughing, thinking about all their arguments from years ago but fell short of it as reality slapped them awake in the form of the pestering sun.
Miss Parekh shook her head.
"I'm not going to sit in any car driven by anyone else," she replied stubbornly and RV huffed irritably.
He knew that she was insanely stubborn about anything related to her car or her driving and he was surprised that she was just the same even after all thdse years. It only strengthened his belief about the chances of success for what he was about to do.
"Fine, give me the keys then."
"What?" asked Miss Parekh just as RV held his hand out for them. She looked at him, taken aback.
"I said give me the keys. I trust my driving more than yours," he said aloud and she rolled her eyes at him in return, keeping her hold upon the keys even stronger as though expecting him to snatch them out from her grasp at any moment.
"No one's driving my car except me. So sit," she ordered but RV caught her hand again.
"Well, are you sitting on the passenger's seat or do I cancel the lunch? RV's time is equivalent to the diamonds he trades in and you've wasted three minutes' worth of it already. So if we're going to your house for lunch, sit on the passenger's seat and let me drive or else let my driver escort us," he said in a stern voice but she threw his hand away from upon hers, annoyed.
"I'm more than capable of driving the car myself, thanks," repeated Miss Parekh stubbornly. RV gave her a bored look.
"Well, another minute and I call the lunch off. Decide now," he said, looking at his watch again. Ishaani looked at him quietly, trying to decipher whether he was bluffing or no before he started making his way back towards the office.
"Alright fine!" she yelled out, making RV stop in his tracks.
Ishaani threw the keys in his direction sulkily just as he turned around, and occupied the passenger's seat, looking far less than happy. RV rolled his eyes at her before settling into the car and putting it to life, steering it out upon the main road. Both of them remained silent as Ishaani looked out of the window broodingly, too angry by being beaten by him in an argument as petty as this. RV on the other hand, kept his sight firmly upon the road, disregarding the English songs that played on without a care of the less-than-friendly atmosphere of the car.
It took RV considerable amount of time before he realized the familiarity of the order of the songs. It was the same mixed tape that he'd made her for Valentine's Day years ago. And that made his heart squirm once again with the same discomfort, although this time he suspected it to be because of the Ranveer in him that had begun putting up a fight suddenly to be set free.
Even before RV could get to the job of silencing Ranveer away, the song on the radio paralyzed him, the lyrics of it hitting him with a force that suddenly seemed to emancipate the Ranveer within him in the revel of the moment.
See the stone set
in your eyes,
See the thorn twist in your side,
I wait for you...
Both of them began humming the tune unconsciously before they stopped, realizing that they were no longer in one of the long drives that they'd go upon as teenagers where they'd keep singing all the songs on the mixed tape at the top of their voices. That was a beautiful past. This was a ghastly present.
Sleight of hand
and twist of fate,
On a bed of nails she makes me wait,
And I wait, without you...
Ranveer felt his hands tighten around the steering wheel as he saw Ishaani's head separate away from the window, the song suddenly captivating both of their attentions as the lyrics continued.
With or without
you,
With or without you...
Through the storm
we reach the shore,
You give it all but I want more,
And I'm waiting for you...
Ranveer dared to chance a look at Ishaani, who was already staring at him, her face devoid of any colour or emotion. And yet her eyes were on fire. A fire that blinded him with its intensity as it scorched the prison where his past self was now being held captive. And suddenly, he couldn't understand whether RV was being locked up in that same prison or no, because the Ranveer that'd come to the front only felt the sickening taste of the dry blood from his badly patched heart in his mouth.
With or without
you,
With or without you,
I can't live,
With or without you...
The car came to a halt at the signal and Ranveer stared at Ishaani, unsure of what he was supposed to feel. And yet all he felt was longing. A desperate longing. The same longing that he'd felt years ago in a dream that held Love, who'd told him to run towards the light as fast as he could. It was the tiniest speck of light back then, and it was the tiniest speck of light now. But there was no forest to give him any solace anymore or whose shade protected his innocent seventeen-year old self from the world. There were only the sharp cold winds of a desolate world.
And you give
yourself away,
And you give yourself away,
And you give,
And you give,
And you give yourself away...
My hands are tied,
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose...
Ranveer turned away his sight from Ishaani as he could no longer take the light in Ishaani's eyes that seemed to stir within him the same passion that he'd felt the previous afternoon during their interlude in the cabin. He couldn't afford to do that... Not again, especially when he was upon a mission. And he knew that he needed RV to guide him along the way here, not Ranveer.
And you give
yourself away,
And you give yourself away,
And you give,
And you give,
And you give yourself away...
With or without
you,
With or without you,
I can't live,
With or without you...
The silence in the car remained as resolute as ever as Ishaani remained silent, and so did Ranveer. Neither of them had the will to say anything further as Ishaani turned her face away from him. She went back to staring outside the window even though the tear that left out of the corner of her eye didn't go amiss by Ranveer, who chanced to steal a glance at her at that precise moment.
With or without you...
Ranveer felt a lump rise into his throat as he pushed the car into third gear, thanking his stars that the traffic had cleared out. He didn't know whether what he had in mind still existed as a place or whether it'd even work what he had in mind, but he trusted his instinct and judgment like always. She may have learnt the art of manipulation in all those years of his absence, but there was always a different between being experienced and being a natural at it. And he was gifted with it right since he was a kid.
She'd bitten the bait just as he'd hoped for her to do and the fact that she hadn't even noticed that they'd taken a left instead of a right in that minute was proof that their moment in the car had worn down her defenses. And this was going to be the best time to get some answers as RV gently pushed the maimed-Ranveer back to where he belonged, overtaking his senses once again. He drove on without another word as he bid his time, knowing that Ranveer would have to break forth at some point of time when things went out of hand for RV to understand.
The car came to an abrupt halt after another half an hour, snapping Ishaani out from her reverie as she looked around in shock. She barely had the time to react before RV pulled the door open, jumped out of the car and brought Ishaani out from the car, his grip upon her wrist strong enough.
"Where are we- what're you-" began Ishaani but RV silenced her with a look.
Ishaani was about to put up a fight when Ranveer pulled her arm behind her back and held her wrist in a firm lock, both of them in a battle of egos. Giving up against his will eventually after putting up a good struggle, Ishaani let her head fall upon his chest stuffly, letting Ranveer whisper into her ears breathily.
"The truth."
Ishaani felt her heart flutter as she shut her eyes, the proximity distracting her for a moment before she snapped out of it. She couldn't afford to bring out the emotionally unstable Ishaani out in the open again. No, she'd have to be Miss Parekh today and that was for their own good. The last time she'd made the mistake, it had cost her everything.
No, she couldn't risk that today, no...
"What does it matter anymore, Mr. RV? I don't exist for you anyway. Then why the concern?" she hissed out in mocking and RV let go of her hand, looking icy.
"Don't act smart with me, Ishaani."
"Is that why you agreed for the lunch date?" asked Ishaani suddenly and RV chose to stare at her in silence. His silence being her answer, she continued with an unsympathetic look upon her face.
"That was all just a way of cornering me to get the truth out? The apology-"
"If anyone needs to apologize for yesterday, that's you. And had you let Piyush come and tell me the truth, we'd have been spared the extra trouble," remarked RV dispassionately and Ishaani smiled cruelly, letting her eyes clash against his own in an eyelock that Miss Parekh was ready for. The heat of his gaze couldn't melt away her facade.
"I'm not going to tell you anything. Break my arm, twist my neck, do whatever you like," said Ishaani after some time, finally deciding to break away her gaze when neither of them agreed to give up.
"Who says that I'm going to do anything to you, really?" asked RV, looking grim.
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Ishaani, suddenly feeling a fear implode in her heart as the smile upon his face only got more and more pronounced. She suddenly couldn't see through his own facade, even though she could see that his mind was working very fast. And somewhere along trying to get hold to Ranveer's facade, she lost control upon her own one.
"I know the truth already. Divorced, abandoned, deceived, manipulated. You're just a coward to admit it," bluffed RV on the spot when he saw no other way of coercing the truth out from her and the reaction was instantaneous.
"SHUT UP! HOW DARE YOU! How dare you call me a coward?!" she yelled at him, suddenly looking as deranged as she looked years ago on the night where it all ended for them.
RV bit his cheek as he felt his entire being shiver with the pain he heard in her voice. It was as though she'd been living through a lifelong of agony that she couldn't contain anymore. And it only frightened him as his heart suddenly seemed to writhe with the pain she was feeling.
"I'm only speaking the truth, Ishaani," he spoke in a blank voice, not sure of how to proceed further.
Ishaani only gave him a scathing look before she burst forth, her voice suddenly dangerously low, her eyes bleeding with the manic pain that her heart was dying with.
"You want to truth? Take your bloody truth and go to hell! Yes, I'm divorced! Yes, I was manipulated because all along the line, I was in love with you! YOU! Yes, I was deceived because he cheated on my face and right in front of my eyes. And yes I was abandoned because I was thrown out and left homeless! He made me watch through the entire sickening process of how I was in love with you all along and how he used me to take a revenge that was just psychotic! Not just with me, but with you as well! He's made me live every single day of these five years in the same regret and guilt that I was the one who destroyed our lives that night! With my own two hands because I was just a bloody pawn at the hands of two ingenious manipulators! And you know whose fault it was that he did his job so brilliantly? It was all your fault! Yours!"
"My fault? How- how- how is it my fault?" stuttered RV, his mind too zapped too take in everything that she'd just said.
"Your book! The enigma book! Chirag was the one who found it and he used the bloody book to manipulate me all along the way! He got me to fall in love with him by being you! YOU! DO YOU EVEN SEE HOW f**kING SICK IT IS?! This is all your mess! Your mess!" emphasized Ishaani, breathing hard. RV continued to stare at her in stunned belief as she continued.
"If we're both like this today, it is your fault! If I'm like this today, it's your fault! So don't you dare call me a coward! And get your hands off of me. Now."
Silence reigned around them as Ishaani heaved erratically, looking tormented while all RV did was stare at her, slapped. It couldn't be... No, it just couldn't be... He couldn't have sacrificed everything for her to only leave her in the hands of the demon all alone and as a prey. No... This couldn't happen... He'd left her so that she could be happy, not so that she could die every single minute of her life like the way he could see her dying right in front his eyes. Something was suddenly falling within him, taking away all of his senses as something broke within him with the impact of her words.
It was his shell.
Ranveer had broken free at long last. And he'd barely managed to say anything more when Ishaani raised her hand as a cue to remain silent, her eyes now alight with a fire that frightened him.
"This conversation is over. I hope you got the truth that you wanted and you're happy with it," was all she said in a choked cry of agony and Ranveer gasped, as though someone had singed a burning hole into his fragile heart. RV broke surface as a defense mechanism for the time being, but it was too late already.
RV stared at her in shock as Ishaani walked over to the driver's seat and pulled open the door, taking her seat without another word before she started the car and took off without even as much as looking at him. And suddenly RV was thrown back ruthlessly as Ranveer broke surface once again, his entire world spinning around him dangerously, his breath coming in short, uneven gasps. He needed to escape... Yes, he needed to escape as soon as he could. He needed to escape from the suffocating world, the memories, the spurts of emotions, the pain, the loss, Ishaani...
But above all, himself.
Ranveer felt his feet retreat back slowly as he found his world dissolving into a fusion of sparks until everything was a blur. He didn't realize when his retreat had turned into a quick stride and when that same stride had turned into a run, his feet running faster than he could fathom as he ran blindly. Towards life or death he didn't know, but he continued to run blindly enough, knowing that he'd never run this fast in all his life like the way he was running today.
His feet brought him to an abrupt halt as he stood upon the same crevice between nature and paradise, the thicket of nature around him looking even more beautifully tranquil than he imagined it to be as his erratic breathing was in level to the soft splashing of the water upon the rocks. Ranveer felt his knees crash upon the ground as he couldn't take the excruciating pain in his heart anymore, yelling as loudly as he could into the afternoon sky in a cry of anguish that made all the birds flee away from their shelter, a pain such like he'd never known coursing through his body as the tears finally broke out for the first time in four years.
He kept yelling in pain as he tore his lungs in suffering, crying like he'd never cried before in a long, long time. Ranveer had finally broken through RV's facade, the emotions bleeding through every pore of his body as he felt it wrack with sobs, his breathing constricted. He couldn't believe a word of what Ishaani'd said. He couldn't believe that he'd been the cause of their destruction at the end of it all. That he was the reason of Ishaani's tormented life. And yet he'd seen the truth in her eyes like always as he saw the pain sear, leaving them bloodshot.
Ranveer didn't know for how long he sat there crying and yelling at the top of his voice before his head hit the ground, too tired to go on any longer. It had once taken him immense courage to get up from the ground and to walk away as far away from Ishaani as he could with only a silent goodbye to Falguni Parekh when all he'd wanted to do was die that night.
But he couldn't do it again. He simply couldn't.
The roof of nature kept blurring and clearing every few minutes in his vision as he gasped for breath, one of his hands fallen limply to his side while all he could do was watch. He shut his eyes as he saw his entire life course through in a flash, right from the moment he saw Ishaani for the first time when they were nine to their last conversation just a while ago. He opened his eyes to see the nature around him one last time before he let out a shaky breath, a tear leaving his eye tiredly as a strangled yell of pain died upon his lips.
His other hand fell limply upon the rock beside him and then he knew no more.Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D
Next chapter:
Interlude 20
Your reaction
Nice
Awesome
Loved
LOL
OMG
Cry
Post Your Comment