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Chapter 3

kamila.

@Seriously.

[MEMBERSONLY]

Hola, guys.. thank you soo much for the response and comments... I'm soo sorry I couldn't give replies.. but I cherished each and every words of yours... As for now.. I said before I didn't plan anything for this story... I just typed this part hope you liked it...

And I was suffered from a chronic migraine.. i can't take medicines for that... I can't do anything in this twenty days.. soo sorry.. I yet to work with my two stories... I just typed this part now... Hope you like it...

Happy Diwali...

Love you all...

PART :- 3(a)

When you loved someone, you put their needs before your own. No matter how inconceivable those needs were; no matter how f**ked up; no matter how much it made you feel like you were ripping yourself into pieces.

______ Jodi Picoult, The Pact

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Love; is a driving force, which forces us to our extreme. It forced him to his extreme, contempted his life. It's forced me to live my life for him. Only for him. Now he is on my bed with me. Just before we became one. It was not about pleasure or fulfill lust of me nor him.. It was painful for me as well as for him.. I felt his tears on me. I have taken his frustration on his life; on me.. You might think it's wrong, but for me.. it's not at all.. If I'm the stopping force of him. Then why can't I. It's been twenty days.. that he discharged from the hospital.

We, me and jiju taken him to his apartment which is nearer to my house.. I didn't feel his presence around me.. He was next to me.. I didn't feel it. Shit. Okay let me come to the story. He was all hysterical. He often scream for drinks and drugs. Even he consumed excess liquor than what was allotted for him in a day.. That was the day I bursted on jiju.. Later I apologized to him.. But I can't risk his life anymore... I can't trust anyone on him.. so I decided to be with him all time.. I announced about my resignation.. but nickel turned it into a long term medical leave on condition. That he'll come to meet me, I shouldn't stop him.. I accepted it. I know, how I longed to be with my love.

My days were spent with him. I return back to my home at night.. After making him sleep with the help of sedative.. It'll smash your soul: to see your love in such condition.. it smashed mine too...

Every day I used to get fresh flowers for him... I truly believe that this flower will bring my bubbly Sanskaar back... It started with an Orchid (general) I arranged it in the vase, he said that refer the Beauty, Love, Refinement, Chinese symbol for many children, He further added that I want him to struggle with many children's. I'm happy that I could bring a thought about his future in him..

The next day it was a simple Pink and White Rose, he said This flower states about, I love you still and always will.. Soo true I thought to myself, at least I can say through flowers which I can't say in words..

"You always choose mismatch flowers for me.." I grinned at him..

The next day I bought a bunch of flowers... entered into his apartment.. he was busy with the TV... I walked to him...

"Finally I got our flowers.." he turned his head back to see me.. I brought the flower out which I was hid behind my back...

"Tan tan dain... Rose, Yellow." He raised his eyebrows.. "I searched in web, I almost spend half an hour in that.. This imply about Friendship, I thing we are now.. or platonic love I'm aware of this. I know nothing in between us.. Infidelity, just leave it A-side.. Jealousy, hmmm you're worthless to be get jealous.. last but not least most importantly, Forgive and forget which we needed to do badly." He silently turned and kept staring the TV.. I walked towards him.. and sat on the couch which is parallel to him.. I waved my hands in front of him..

"What.?"

"I'm expecting an appreciation."

"For what.?"

"For this." I showed that flower to him.. He walked away without a word..

He is making everything harder for me.. I'm trying my best not to drool over him.. everytime His hand brushes me.. Okay accidentally, you won't allow me to have silly happiness. The shock which it's spread through me hayyyeee rabba.!!! But his harsh behavior and ravan look at me... Evaporate those feels in me...

Later days, it was hell out of a day for me and jiju.. We found him unconscious in the bathroom. He was again admitted in the hospital for two days..

"PAWS, Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms. He has developed a tolerance for alcohol and drugs and this means that the body has adapted to functioning with these substances. It can take a bit of time before the body adapts to now functioning without these chemicals.

Second point, Long term substance abuse interferes with the body's normal ability to deal with stress. This means that initially he will have stronger reactions to stressful events.

Third points, For years or months the addict will have used alcohol and drugs as a means to numb their emotions. It can feel as if these emotions are out of control in early recovery because the individual is not used to dealing with them. In his case it's just an initial stage. He can easily overcome from this. All he need is a perfect diet. A lot more care. And need to attend a rehab meetings. Regularly." Doctor words non registered in my mind except taking good care if him.. That I can do.. He also mentioned about his mind distraction.. If I'm around him do he need distraction... Yeah its a big nooo...

We bring him home.. That was the day we got an another tremulous news that Ram uncle was had an heart attack was hospitalized now.. Now jiju have to leave to India.. He have to stand with his maa sujata aunty and my sister Ragini only this two were handling the worse situation there.. We didn't inform him about his father.. It'll increase the remorse in him which makes his condition worse. So we decided to hide it from him... Jiju said that they needed his help there now in business.. Sanskaar was upset hearing it..

Soo now it's me who have to take care of him... I felt that I'm gifted... Jiju requested me too take good care of him... I was all dancing inside.. but behaved normal in front of him... I accepted but on one condition, that I'm not staying here in his apartment after all when I own a house in LA.. yayyyeee.. jiju accepted it.. but him my ravan.. Shit he was adamant.. but I own this time over him... That evening we shifted to my house... Home sweet home... it's not a big house.. a small house with two rooms and no floors.. With a kitchen and living room, one at the... At top just an attic..

"Ta da... How is my fort jiju.?" I asked them with full excitement..

"Fort.. call it a dustbin.. it's suits well." My ravan answered me..

"I didn't ask you I asked my jiju... Hmm." I pulled my tongue out..

"Indeed it is a dustbin." Jiju teased me as soon as he entered into my house.. What made me angry naa.. their hi-fi.

I widened my hands "Bachelorette.. boys.. I'm bachelorette.." I pursed my lips..

He cleaned his ears... "What did you said.. ohh bachelor... Yeah.." he never miss a chance to hurt.. he did it again..

"If you feel soo.. why don't you bachelorette help me this bachelor to clean the home." He glared at me.. I winked at him...

"Okay.. we have a peace covenant.. soo please guys.." it's jiju.. who stopped our fight.

"Here is the deal.. you guys help me in cleaning.. later I prepare dinner for us." I smiled at him.. as usual a frown from him..

"Okay it's a good deal." It's jiju..

The cleaning process started.. I was tagging him continuously.. he was little bit ineffectual... He needed to rest in-between but.. I continuously teased him over his tardiness.. He became active.. often..

"Tell me swara... Approximately it's been how many days, you have cleaned your house.." jiju again teasing me.. I saw him he is all laughing..

"Jiju.. I think you need a Pooja from my di.. I'll tell her that you're still smoking." I said with a fake anger.. he holded his ears.. I dusted my hands..

I came out of my room.. After taking bath.. wearing a black full sleeve shirt which I folded up to my elbows and a track.. Served food for us.. in a four seated round dinning table which is situated at the corner of the kitchen.. It was a chapati with dhal.. And Kheer as a dessert..

"Swara.. when did you learned cooking.. it soo delicious." It's jiju.. I smiled in response... "Why don't you teach your sister this.. she is torturing me with her cooking skills.. and everytime I'm lying to her.. That yeah it's tastes good.." jiju sighed..

We Chuckled seeing him.. I can say it was an unforgettable night of my life.. We had a long night chat.. He dozed off on the couch.. I sat on the floor.. nearer to his head... Caressing the lock of his hairs above his forehead... He is such a pure soul.. how can she do this to him.. I still can't forgive that bitch not for betraying me.. but for him..

"Do you love him.." I stopped caressing his hairs.. hearing jiju's voice behind me... "Don't you.." he walked to me and stood next to me..

"A lot more." I answered to him... "But how do you know... Did di said this to you." I added..

He sat on the floor next to me... "No.. I assumed it.." I raised my eyebrows... "You're quite openly gaping and flirting at him." With that he laughed...

"Jiju.." I pouted...

"Make him fall for you.. soon.. I'll prepare wedding for you both.." I smiled falsely..

"You take some rest I'll take care of him." I walked to my room to spend an another sleepless night of my life...

Jiju left USA the very next morning... I didn't own a car... Soo he dismayed my request to accompany him to the airport.. We stayed at home... He felt lonely in the beginning... He was hesitant and merely not interested in getting formal normal with me.. I tried my best to keep him active... It was one day I have taken him to play basketball in the park, Where me and Pete used to play...

There every one were present... Including Pete.. He was sitting there on the bench.. all encouraging me... I scored 8 in ten minutes.. I must say I'm not that genius in basketball.. Pete thought me some tricks.. like how to shoot the ball into the basket.. How to bounce to ball.. in front of my ravan I'm nothing.. He is missing his agility and the ability to shoot the ball into the basket.. his hands were trembling... I laughed at him.. I know it'll boost him to get his power back... but he threw the ball and walked out of the court... I ran behind him...

As per doctor advice I have taken him to the meditation centers in morning 6... I too joined him... If they wanted to change their name they can change it to.. sleeping center for insomniac... Ohh I slept within a second... Few days they tolerated me.. then they threw me away... I used to wait for him by sitting in the road... Then the rehab he attended once. Then he was adamant not to attend it... I left him... It's not a rehab rather it was a mockery session... Shit it bleeds my ears... Just for few minutes...

Next my attempt was to make him to play violin... He is a maestro in it... I loved listening it... it was successful ten days that jiju left, we survived it... Woohoo... I bought a violin in annual end sale.. I entered in to our house... He was sitting on the couch watching TV...

"Play it.." I placed that violin on the table in front of him... He glanced at it..

"I can't.."

"Why.?"

"I hate it."

"But I love it... Play... This was the only thing which I liked in you... This thing." I showed the violin...

"I'm not." With that he walked towards his room...

I took that violin in my hand... Started to tune it in my own way... Because I don't know any other way to tune it... Merely it was a big nuisance... I can't tolerate it... That was the time I thought to stop my torture.. but he opened the door.. I smiled inwardly..

"Will you please stop that non sense.."

"This is not non sense... Im learning how to play it.. that's all.."

"Just stop it Swara."

"Okay I stop it... But for that you have to teach me how to play it." He glared at me.. I started to tune it.. while closing my eyes.. in bearing the discordant, noisy, clamorous, dissonant, cacophonous music of mine.. what adjectives I can add more.. that was more annoying than nickel..

But the next moment... I have to print that in the marble... His first touch on me... I felt his hands around me.. one is holding my right hand to direct the bow... another one is on my left his fingers lying above mine.. over the pegbox to tune strings.. His head was above mine.. I shivered in his embrace. Okay not an embrace.. it was just an act to stop my nuisance... He Slowly glided his head down on mine.. He placed his left cheek over my right ear.. One slight push from him.. I rested my chin over the chin rest on the violin..

"Concentrate... On moves of my hands." stiffness over my muscles were withdrawn hearing his husky voice.. Ohh how romantic. He waved my hands along the bow.. And tuned the strings... The output was soo mellifluously euphonious.. I was ecstatic... I closed my eyes...

I opened my eyes, when I felt his hot breath breezing against my neck... Ohh his hold on my hands... It's getting heavier which is arousing the sense in me... The tune was soo pleasant to hear... Which is increasing the heat in between us...

His every caresses and petting over my cheeks and neck... I lost my hold on violin... When his lips caressed my ear... And placed a gentle kiss on it... I think it must pulled him back.. the sound from the violin... He left without a word...I don't know how long I stand there like a statue... It's was for me like.. ohh I was kissed by Sanskaar Maheswari... The king of college, the princess charming Sanskaar Maheswari...

And today... His quota was over.. I have giving him five Peg's of alcohol... But he asked more.. I said no... He strangled me.. I stand still.. I know he can't hurt me.. the next moment... He was sucking my lips... I didn't stop him... Later we ended up here... I didn't stop him... I don't want to stop him... Everyone want to let their frustration out... On something or on someone... I'm happy that I'm his... it's paining... It's my dreamy that I want to lose my virginity with him... And I never dreamt like this... I rather want it to be out of love...

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That's all do forgive the typos.. and wrong words.. as my mobile still sucks my blood..

I'm awaiting for your feedbacks please drop one here... And hit likes.. if you like it..

That paws I got that information from web.. and I add some of my words in it...

Kam...

[NOCOPY]

Vaiyambar......2016-10-27 06:52:25