2: Reflection
Four minutes and forty two seconds.
The time it took for his parents to argue and commit suicide.
Thirty hours.
The time it took for Khushi to faint from her internal bleeding, without anyone noticing.
She bled when she held his heart. She bled when they hugged. She bled when the family flung their discreet accusations and disappointments.
She bled when he blamed her for ruining Anjali’s life.
She bled when he called her the biggest mistake of his life.
And he hadn’t noticed.
Because much like her heart and mind, her injuries had been too deep for him to see.
—
Hemorrhagic shock due to rapid, delayed intra abdominal blood loss.
She was alive, barely.
Akash watched his wife take the news with unparalleled bravery. Her lips pressed tight, eyes glassy, but not a tear rolled down Payal’s cheek.
The same could not be said for the rest of his family.
Arnav had burst into a fit of rage and denial until he finally fell silent. Devyani slumped on the seat and started muttering prayers, her aged hands shaking with every utterance. NK sat by her, offering her the comfort a stunned Manorama couldn’t give. Yet, his clenched fists revealed his suppressed anger.
Payal remained frozen as the surgeon, Dr. Zayed, rattled off the rest of the things necessary for Khushi’s treatment. Blood transfusion, surgery. They needed a family member to sign the surgery consent form.
Arnav snatched it.
All operations and surgeries carry the risk of unsuccessful results, complications, injury or even death.
“What’s the success rate of this procedure? How can I sign this!” Arnav faltered, re-reading the terms and conditions.
“Bhai,”
“Akash, call Aman and gather the statistics of-” Stripped away from his anger, Arnav was desperate.
“Arnav ji,” Payal stopped him with a gentle touch on his shoulder, “Shayad Khushi might die during this operation but if we waste any more time, she will die.”
With a gentle determination, she took the consent form from him.
“And, please, get a checkup done.”
“Payal I am fine-”
“Khushi said the same.” Payal choked, “And if anything happens to you, I don’t think Khushi could take it.”
Akash’s pull did not have the power of Payal’s words. Arnav gave one last look at the ICU and headed down the hall. Dr. Zayed gave an understanding, sincere nod, and gestured to Payal to sign the consent form.
“We’ll try our best,” Payal’s hand shook as she gave a watery smile to Dr. Zayed.
“Payal, I’ll handle-” Akash approached her and the doctor. She stepped away before his hand could touch hers.
“Doctor, aap hame bataiye, what else do we need.” Akash stilled, his hand mid air. Ever since Khushi had been hospitalized, Payal neither spoke, nor looked at Akash. Did she blame him? How was he at fault? How was anyone at fault!
“Does she have any blood relative?” Dr. Zayed asked.
“She has-” No one. A chilling reality swept across Payal, apart from Khushi’s aunt - Amma - Khushi had none she shared blood with. Any other tie was met with gratitude and a humble nudge of obligation. There was never a sharper reminder of Khushi being an orphan.
Unfortunately, Babuji’s words of heart bigger than blood didn’t matter.
“An aunt,” Akash frowned, it was the first time Payal referred to her mother as such.
“Do you know her blood group?”
“B negative.”
“I’m afraid Mrs. Raizada, she isn’t compatible. Is there anyone else in her family with-”
“She doesn’t have anybody,” Payal’s voice shook.
“Payal, yeh kya keh rahi ho, we are all there for her.” Akash interrupted, hurt by her thinly veiled accusation. Dr. Zayed kept to himself, not missing the strain in the couple before him.
“Mrs. Raizada, do you know anyone who has O positive or-”
“I’m O positive.” Payal cut in, expectation and hope springing in her eyes.
Dr. Zayed sighed in relief. They were in short of blood owing to the major accident that took place a few hours ago. He collected the form and quietly, with as much as fact and as little as false hopes, conveyed the truth of Khushi’s situation to her sister and brother-in-law.
“Mrs. Raizada, we’ll take a quick test for further compatibility and pregnancy, after which we can-” Dr. Zayed stopped at Payal’s stricken face.
“Pregnancy?” She asked. Akash turned to his wife in wonder, his heart pounding for the best news in the worst time.
“Yes it’s necessary as one cannot donate blood during pregnancy,” Dr. Zayed watched the woman who hadn’t cried at the news of her sister’s possible death, crumble in shock.
Akash crouched and placed his hands on her shaking knees. There were so many questions he needed to ask her. Payal remained rooted to her spot, her world collapsing in a moment.
“Mrs. Raizada, are you-”
“I might be, I don’t know…”
—
Positive
It was the best news of Akash’s life.
It was the worst for Payal’s.
She stared at the ICU. Khushi’s lifeless body was hooked to numerous tubes. The last time Khushi was this pale, she was an eight year old child pulled out of a car crash.
“Payal, we’re preg-” Akash choked, tears of happiness clogging his throat.
“She’s never asked anything from me. No earrings, bangles, sarees or dolls. She would even ask for a ladoo, making sure I wouldn’t want it so she could eat it.” Payal whispered, running her fingers on the glass door separating her and her sister.
“One time Akash, this was the one time she needed something from me and I couldn’t give it to her.”
“We will find the blood for her.” Akash’s smile fell when she stepped away from him, again.
“Payal this is not your mistake-”
“If not telling you and your sister the truth about Shyam was a mistake, so is this.” Payal brushed her tears aside. How could she have missed out on Khushi’s weakening health? What kind of an older sister was she?
“That’s something different Payal. You could’ve told me the truth. Khushi could’ve-”
“And so could Arnav ji. Bas farak iss baat ki hai, that you would never yell at him.” Akash stepped back, her words unmasking his hypocrisy and unfailing faith in his brother. He had known that if Bhai hid the truth, it was for a reason.
Why could it not apply to Payal and Khushi? And how could he question Bhai when he’d just been home from a kidnapping, scarred and traumatized?
With Khushi in the ICU, Akash realized that he no longer had the choice to ask questions to the only woman who had nothing but smiles for him.
—
The doctor ruled Arnav a miracle for not sustaining any permanent injury given the nature of his injuries. Arnav walked out of the physician’s room, his head pounding at Devi Maiya’s cruelty.
He needed no reminding of her existence. Not when Khushi vowed he’d believe in her Devi Maiya in her absence.
Yet, he was blessed with every miracle possible.
Payal whirred by him, frantically punching keys in her cell. Akash remained slumped on the seat, distraught.
Distraught?
Arnav jogged up to Akash and nearly yanked him up from his seat.
“Bhai? Are you alright-”
“That doesn’t matter. What happened? Why are you…” Arnav paused, his heart hammering in fear. Khushi.
“Khushi, please tell me she’s not-”
“No Bhai,” Akash held his brother, “But we’re falling short of blood. She’s O positive and so is Payal but Payal can’t donate because she’s-”
“What the f-ck are the blood banks doing?” Arnav interrupted.
“There’s been a major accident nearby, the hospital is running low on blood.” Arnav kept quiet. There was only one decision left.
“Akash, you’ll look after the family right?” Akash was surprised at Arnav’s strange request.
“Of course Bhai, but-”
“Good. I trust you.” Arnav left to find Dr. Zayed.
—
“Mr. Raizada, we don’t allow this in most cases-”
“And this is an exception doctor. We’re short of blood and I’m in perfect health, your own doctors checked me. I’ve checked it with my assistant, you are allowed. I’ll make sure of it” Dr. Zayed battled his ethics as Arnav continued debating with him.
“Above all I’m O negative, a universal donor. If I can’t save my wife then… meri,” Arnav refused to complete the sentence. He grabbed Dr. Zayed’s hand.
“Please doctor.”
“Alright Mr. Raizada, but you will be under strict observation once your blood is further tested for compatibility.”
And again, much like the rest of Arnav’s life since Khushi, Devi Maiyya dropped another miracle on his lap. Arnav and Khushi were perfectly compatible.
—
The Raizadas panicked as Arnav was rushed into the room for a transfusion. Payal collapsed on the chair in relief, and Akash held her, his brother’s words finally dawned on him.
Devyani rolled the prayer beads in her hands, while Manorama remained uncharacteristically quiet. Both the women held the other for support. In supporting and caring for Anjali, they wondered what pushed them to take a stand against Khushi. When all in all it had been one man responsible for the events.
Shyam Manohar Jha.
It was easy to believe someone’s secret was responsible for their tragedy, rather than their own gullibility and lack of suspicion.
The last few words Khushi spoke to them floated in their minds and shame filled them. Yes, Khushi had committed a mistake but she was family.
And a family never counted the mistakes.
NK bounced in with his group of friends, rushing them to the transfusion center. Akash was amazed at NK’s capability to bear a smile in these trying times.
—
“What’s there to not smile?” NK asked, piling up a tray of tea for the grieving family, “I know Khushi ji is going to be alright.”
“I hope you’re right. Today deserves to be a good day.” Nk nearly dropped the tea cups and engulfed Akash in a hug upon learning Payal’s pregnancy.
“But Payal, she’s-”
“-devastated.” NK completed, “How can a sister smile knowing the child in her didn’t allow her to save her sister?”
“NK, how’s Payal at fault? She couldn’t have predicted she would be pregnant right when Khushi needed blood.” Akash reasoned.
“Exactly Akash bhai. Khushi ji and Payal bhabhi too were at no fault for not sharing. There’s no way they could have predicted their silence would lead to this.” NK dropped his smiles, staring hard enough to unease Akash.
“NK, it’s different-”
“-It’s not.” NK cut in, his tone razor sharp, “Imagine if they told Di the truth on time and unable to bear it, she would commit suicide. Or if none of you believed their truth and cancelled your weddings - leaving Payal bhabhi abandoned at the altar yet again. Ya phir, the blame lies on Di and all of you for not sniffing out Shyam’s weird behaviors and excuses.”
NK sat down beside Akash, hoping the latter’s sensibilities helped.
“Payal bhabi blames herself for the same reason you all are blaming Khushi ji and Payal bhabhi. And in all this mess, it’s sad that no one gets it that if there’s anyone to blame - it’s Shyam.” NK seethed. Somehow, despite all the truths, Shyam had emerged victorious and had managed to break the family into pieces.
Akash groaned into his palms, his head hurting with all the truths. There was no reasoning in Shyam’s malicious words as he threatened Arnav for grabbing his collar.
A fear crept up Akash’s spine.
He only wished it didn’t take Payal’s grief, Khushi’s injury and Arnav’s panic for him to understand that Khushi and Payal were a part of the family.
—
Arnav lay on the bed, staring at his Khushi in remorse and agony. The regrets were too much to count, and he fervently thought against anything related to God.
“The day you believe in God, I won’t be next to you,” She huffed, the pain in her bandaged finger miniscule next to the words inflicted by him to her. Arnav had lost sleep since that night, breaking every nightmare with Khushi’s name on his lips.
He couldn’t apologize, nor cry. He just continued to stare, hoping she’d wake up one more time for him.
—
Your reaction
Nice
Awesome
Loved
LOL
OMG
Cry
5 Comments